He balled his shooting hand into a tight fist. The urge to hit something, or someone, came fast, but he reminded himself he’d taken a different path than his brother. Still, a low growl of frustration rumbled deep in his throat.
At the sound, Megan looked up and slowly turned her head.
Their gazes met.
Logan’s heart pummeled his rib cage. The brutal assault made each intake of air a struggle.
Lost in her eyes, a compelling tapestry of silver over blue, he experienced a deep sensation of completion. The emotion was so simple, so pure, he wondered how he’d been able to walk away before.
Well, he was home now.
“Logan?” A little sigh slipped from her lips. “Is it really you?”
“Yes, Megan.” He forced his words around the breath clogging in his throat. “I’ve come for you, just like I promised.”
grew up in a small Florida beach town. To entertain herself during countless hours of “lying out” she read all the classics. It wasn’t until the summer between her sophomore and junior years at Florida State University that she read her first romance novel. Hooked from page one, she spent hours consuming one book after another while working on the best (and last!) tan of her life.
Two years later, armed with a degree in economics and religion, she explored various career opportunities, including stints at a Florida theme park, a modeling agency and a cosmetics conglomerate. She moved on to teach high school economics, American government and Latin while coaching award-winning cheerleading teams. Several years later, with an eclectic cast of characters swimming around in her head, she began seriously pursuing a writing career.
She lives an action-packed life in Georgia, with her supportive husband, lovely teenage daughter and two ornery cats who hate each other.
Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
—Proverbs 19:21
To Donnell Ann Bell, my favorite pair of fresh eyes.
Thank you, my friend, for all the times you answered the call for a “quick” favor.
I owe you more than words can express.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Epilogue
Letter to Reader
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
Denver, Colorado, 1888.
Megan Goodwin had not intended to die today. But as she stared at the knife inches from her throat, she feared her plans were about to change.
Yet to face her end in a brothel, the same one where her mother had died five years before, was simply unacceptable.
Frozen in terror, she watched the knife’s deadly point creep closer.
Megan prayed for courage to face the next few minutes. Oh, Lord. Oh, God, please help me.
She lifted the silent appeal to the God she’d counted on her whole life.
Where was Mattie? The madam had promised to return shortly. She’d left Megan here in the safety of her private boudoir, out of sight and hidden from Cole Kincaid.
He’d found her anyway.
Gritting her teeth, Megan forced her gaze to stay on his face, if only to prove to herself she still had some control of the situation.
He was big, just over six feet. His face was hideous, all flat planes, sallow skin and dark, dirty beard. He had small, black eyes. Mean eyes. The eyes of a killer. The—
He yanked her head back with a hard tug, cutting off the rest of her thoughts. Small white dots of light burst in front of her eyes.
She’d done nothing to warrant this savage attack. Nothing, except put herself in the wrong place at the wrong time for what she thought was the right reason. The act of kindness might be her last.
Cole eased his grip from her hair and lowered the knife, shoving her back against the divan. “Let’s have us some fun, shall we?” His voice had a soft note to it, as though he were suggesting they share a cup of tea.
The man was a monster.
Megan pulled her gaze from him and focused instead on the room that had been intentionally decorated for sin. Beneath the expensive silk and garish furnishings hung a decadence that spoke of the ugly work performed here.
So this was it, then? This chamber of wickedness was where she would die? No matter that she’d lived a pure life, no matter that she’d been raised in a Christian orphanage across town, she’d failed to escape her mother’s vile world after all.
“Look at me,” Cole snarled.
When she kept her gaze averted, he muttered a curse and clutched her jaw, forcing her head around. “Mattie shouldn’t keep a pretty thing like you hidden from her paying customers.”
The smell of whiskey and week-old sweat trailed in the wake of his words. He swayed, just a little, but enough to tell Megan he’d consumed quite a bit.
“I…I’m not one of her girls.”
He laughed at her, an easy sound full of heartless pleasure. “All the better. I like ’em innocent.”
Panic clawed for release, but Megan refused to give in to the emotion. She pressed her eyes tightly shut.
She would think of Logan. Only Logan, the good, solid man she’d promised to love the rest of her life. He would be home soon, any day now. Then they would be married.
The thought brought sorrow, not peace. Megan should have never set foot in Mattie’s brothel today. She’d only come to read to Suzanne, a young prostitute dying of the same disease that had claimed Megan’s mother.
What had she been thinking? That she’d be safe simply because her motives were pure?
Well, it was too late for regrets, too late to scold herself for coming here at all. She’d thought her midafternoon arrival would get her in and out before customers started arriving. Normally, she would have been right. Today, she’d woefully miscalculated and Cole Kincaid had been here, a man known for his cruelty to women.
And now Megan was snared in his trap.
He placed his lips close to her ear. “I promise you one thing, my little beauty.” He wrapped velvet around his words. “This will hurt.”
Something dark inside Megan snapped at the threat.
Cold, ruthless rage took hold of her.
She forgot about the knife at her throat. Forgot about the menace in her attacker’s eyes. And only focused on the black emotion spiraling through her.
Fury controlled her now. She allowed the power of it to spread, allowed her hands to act without permission from her brain. Slowly, resolutely, her palms snaked up her attacker’s arms and latched onto his shoulders.
Cole grinned and lowered his head toward hers. His eyes were a bit unfocused, as though the whiskey had dulled his thinking.
Megan shoved him with all her might.
Unprepared for the attack, Cole staggered back a step. The knife dropped from his hand. It hit the floor with a loud crack. Roaring a curse at her, he caught his balance and lunged for her again.
This time, murder glittered in his eyes.
Everything Megan wanted in life flashed through her mind. Logan. Children. A home of her own. “No!” Using her nails as talons she rushed at the man. “No.”
Trying to cover his face, he fumbled back a step. He began to fall but he grabbed her arm for support. They lurched backward, together, heading straight for the stone fireplace.
Megan fought to free herself, pulling her weight in the opposite direction. Another yank on her arm carried her straight into him.
Tangled together, they stumbled two steps back. Three. His head slammed against the mantle.
The hand on her arm went limp and he slid to the floor like a bundle of discarded rags.
Megan fell to the ground a second later, struggling for air. Now on her hands and knees, she blinked in horror at the man beside her. As quickly as they had come, all the dangerous emotions inside her disappeared. In the next instant, tears welled. Tears of frustration, of fear, of…
Why wasn’t he moving?
Hands shaking, Megan reached out. Attacking an innocent woman, indeed. She poked his cowardly shoulder.
He didn’t respond, didn’t budge.
Heart hammering in her throat, she glanced at the clock above her head, the one sitting on the center of the stone mantle. Megan was shocked to discover that no more than five minutes had passed since the outlaw had entered the parlor.
Feeling as though she was looking at him from a very far distance, she forced herself to study his face. His mouth hung open, slack at the jaw. And with each tick of the clock, he turned deathly pale.
Thou shalt not kill.
What if he was dead?
Thou shalt not kill.
What if he wasn’t?
She had to know for sure.
For several heartbeats Megan watched him closely. His chest rose and fell in an unsteady rhythm.
He was alive. But injured.
Megan tried to force up some regret, but she felt no remorse. Cole had attacked her. Given a few more minutes he’d have forced himself on her. Or worse yet, killed her.
Bile rose in her throat. Covering her mouth, she rushed into the bathroom. At the same moment, the door in the outer room opened and closed with a bang. She heard a man’s voice.
The sound brought with it a terrible thought. Men like Cole Kincaid ran in packs. Had one of his gang come to check on him?
No. No one could know he was here. He’d slipped out of one of the upstairs rooms when he’d seen the owner of the brothel rushing Megan down the back stairwell. He’d told her that himself, right before he’d pulled the knife.
Then who could be sneaking into the madam’s private parlor?
Megan took a tentative step toward the door and listened. She heard a muffled, “Get on your feet, Kincaid. Now.”
A nasty oath came in response to the demand.
“I said get up. I want you standing when you face the devil.”
Megan couldn’t identify the newcomer’s next words, precisely, yet the husky baritone sparked a feeling of relief. She knew that voice, knew it well.
What was he doing here tonight, in Mattie’s brothel, at this hour?
Bewildered, she edged forward and peered into the parlor. The man’s back was to her so she couldn’t see his face. But she recognized that powerful build. Except…
The way he held his shoulders wasn’t quite right.
Her thoughts knotted together in her mind, blurring like a distant dream just out of reach.
The man suddenly turned to face her. Their gazes met for only a brief moment before Megan’s vision grayed, darkened. And then her world went black.
Winter clung to the damp March air, refusing to relinquish its frigid grip on Denver. In an attempt to calm his raging emotions, U.S. Marshal Logan Mitchell filled his lungs with the biting cold. Eyes narrowed, temper hot, his thoughts pinpointed to one impossible reality.
Megan had been arrested. His Megan.
The churning in his gut formed into a tight, angry spasm. He could easily allow the dark emotion to take hold, but that would unleash a part of him he’d held tightly controlled since childhood.
Rubbing at the tension at the back of his neck, Logan studied the unassuming brick building directly across the street. He didn’t need perfect vision to read the words embossed on the plaque nailed to the door. Sheriff’s Office and Jailhouse.
This had to be a mistake. His future wife should not be locked up. She should be back at Charity House, the orphanage where she lived and worked, helping settle the younger children into bed for the night.
Logan lifted his eyes to the dark heavens, tried to formulate a prayer, but words escaped him. How did he turn to God for guidance when he had yet to discover what Megan had done, or why Trey Scott had locked her up like a common criminal?
No one at Charity House had given him a direct answer as to Megan’s whereabouts this evening. Instead, they’d given him some cryptic explanation about her reading to a sick woman living in Mattie Silks’s brothel. Mattie Silks’s brothel!
When Logan had questioned the ornery madam, she’d been the difficult, condescending woman he remembered all too well. She’d circled him like a rat sizing up a meaty piece of garbage, all the while talking to him in half sentences and irrelevant facts.
But Logan had been on to her game of distraction. He hadn’t missed her covert glances toward the back of the house, where her private suite of rooms was located. The woman had been hiding something. Or someone. Only when he’d started toward her boudoir did she direct him to the county jail. The county jail!
He sucked in another hard breath. The dark, damp air magnified the stench of stale liquor, cloying perfume and the polluted smells of Denver’s underbelly.
Nothing had changed on Market Street in the last five years. One glance at the bustling sidewalks told him that gambling, prostitution and saloons still flourished. Men of various sizes and economic situations spilled out of buildings only to stumble into others. Some moved in packs, others sought their pleasure alone. Raucous music mingled with shouts, cursing and laughter.
Bringing order and redemption to these streets would not come easy or fast. Logan would attempt to do so anyway.
But first, he had to free Megan.
Jamming his hat onto his head, he trekked across the planked sidewalk and wove through the labyrinth of activity on the street.
The moment he entered the jailhouse his heart beat a single, heavy kick against his ribs. The room held little light and the air shimmered with a cold, gray foreboding. Closing the door with a firm click, Logan forced his vision to adjust. He dropped a cursory glance at the desk cluttered with piles of forgotten reports before focusing his attention on the lone occupant in the middle cell.
Megan.
With a fierce mental shake, he slammed shut the part of him that wanted to beat down the bars between them. He willed her to look at him but she didn’t acknowledge his presence.
She appeared lost in thought, so small, so fragile. So…alone. Guilt pushed at him, mocking his attempt to think rationally. He’d waited five years to ask this woman to become his wife. He’d remained loyal to her in the face of every temptation San Francisco had to offer, and he’d done it without an ounce of regret. Until now. Now, as he stared at Megan’s bent head, he knew nothing but regret. Regret that he’d put off coming home for too long.
For one brief moment, he savored the soft lines of her shoulders, the elegant tilt of her head and the wheat-colored curls spilling down her back. She held her shoulders stiff as she twisted her hands in her lap, rubbing them over one another again and again and again.
Logan frowned.
He’d seen her like this only one time before. The day Pastor Beau had told her of her mother’s death. Logan had fought the urge to steal her away back then, to rescue her from her grief.
She’d been too young at the time. That’s what they’d said. Pastor Beau and her guardian, Marc Dupree, had insisted Logan step back and assess the situation like a man and not a “boy in love.” When he hadn’t backed off, Marc had threatened him, resorting to brute force to make his point. In the end, Logan had relented. For Megan’s sake, he’d allowed the others to sway his better judgment.
A mistake.
Now a row of impenetrable iron bars stood between him and the woman he loved.
Logan balled his shooting hand into a tight fist. The urge to hit something, or someone, came fast, but he reminded himself he’d taken a different path than his brother. Still, a low growl of frustration rumbled deep in his throat.
At the sound, Megan looked up and slowly turned her head.
Their gazes melded.
Logan’s heart pummeled his rib cage. The brutal assault made each intake of air a struggle.
Lost in her eyes, a compelling tapestry of silver over blue, he experienced a deep sensation of completion. The emotion was so simple, so pure he wondered how he’d been able to walk away before.
Well, he was home now.
“Logan?” A little sigh slipped from her lips. “Is it really you?”
“Yes, Megan.” He forced his words around the breath clogging in his throat. “I’ve come for you, just like I promised.”
But had he returned too late?
After two endless seconds Megan finally jumped up and hurried across the cell toward Logan.
Hungry for this closer view, he clutched at the bars and strained forward. Just like it had five years ago, her beauty made his throat ache. Her hair still tumbled down her shoulders in golden waves, and her skin was as luminous as he remembered.
But there were differences, too. Her features had become more mature, less rounded by youth. But her eyes—her glorious, sparkling eyes—were haunted now. Deep purple smudges shadowed the skin beneath. It was clear she needed food, sleep and tender care.
A possessive urgency to see to those needs had him curling his fingers in a white-knuckle grip around the bars. Inhaling slowly, he forced his hands to relax and then reached for her.
She smiled at him, shyly at first. Then, with growing confidence, she took a step closer and placed her fingers in his. Gripping his wrist with her other hand, she brought his open palm to her face.
He cupped her cheek as gently as the barrier between them would allow. The contact eased the furious knot of tension in his stomach. But only for a moment. Old guilt warred with a new sense of regret, and Logan couldn’t say which hurt more to suppress. He clenched his teeth so hard a muscle jumped at his jaw.
Suddenly, she staggered back a step. “Oh, Logan, I have to tell you—”
The outer door burst open, cutting off her words.
Heavy, purposeful footsteps approached from behind. Logan’s shoulders stiffened at the familiar sound. He’d know that clipped, efficient cadence anywhere.
Frustrated at the interruption, he turned on his heel and came face-to-face with his former mentor. Trey Scott. The man who had trained Logan to think before shooting. The man who had recommended him for the U.S. Marshal position.
The man who had locked Megan in a cold, dark cage.
“Give me the key…Sheriff.”
“Ah.” Trey hitched his hip against the desk and crossed his arms over his chest. “I see we’re dispensing with the pleasantries. Nevertheless, welcome home, Logan.”
Logan swallowed back an angry response and forced out his words with precision. “As the newly appointed U.S. Marshal I have a duty to—”
“I know your job description.” He gave Logan a meaningful look, reminding them both who’d held the position first. “But this is my jail now. And you’ll play by my rules.”
Out of respect for all this man had done for him, Logan relented. For now.
Changing tactics, he appealed to their history as partners and friends. “I saved your life when Ike Hayes was bent on destroying you. You owe me this one request.”
“Logan,” Trey began, unfolding his arms and pushing to a standing position. “You need to understand the situation. You won’t be so ready to release her once you know the truth.”
The truth? There was only one truth. Megan didn’t belong in a cold, impersonal jail cell.
Logan had failed her once, by leaving town when he should have married her. He wouldn’t walk away again. Nor would he allow her to rot in a cage another hour, much less another day.
“One thing in particular you should know.” Trey cast a look over Logan’s shoulder, sighed. “She—”
“Explanations can wait. I want to speak with her first. Alone.”
Trey’s lips compressed into a thin line. Logan knew the look well. Trey Scott was in an unrelenting mood.
Well, so was Logan. He needed to be near Megan, needed to know she was truly safe. “You can lock me in with her.”
Clearing his features of all expression, Trey glanced over Logan’s shoulder again. For a moment, he simply stared at Megan. A silent message seemed to pass between them before he focused on Logan once more.
“All right.” He retrieved an iron key from his vest pocket. “You can have a few minutes with her. But then you’ll listen to what I have to say.” The last was not a request but an order.
Unwilling to battle his longtime friend—yet—Logan nodded his agreement.
“Now that we understand one another…” Trey lifted his hand.
Logan snatched the key then turned toward the cell door. Before releasing the lock he glared at the other man. “Don’t you have something to do? Outside?”
Unmoving, Trey lifted a single eyebrow. The gesture made him look like a protective father.
Logan remembered the other men with that same look in their eyes. He remembered their resolve as they told him to stay away from Megan. She was too young, they’d claimed a hundred times over. He was too old. She was grieving her mother’s death. He needed to make a secure future for her before whisking her off in marriage. On and on they’d argued against him.
If he had ignored them, if he’d taken Megan as his wife when he’d had the chance, she wouldn’t be in jail now.
Logan had to make this right.
Some of his torment must have shown in his eyes because Trey patted him on the back in a fatherly gesture. “I’ll be just outside, my friend. You have five minutes, no more.”
Logan nodded.
Trey left the jailhouse without another word.
Pivoting, Logan kept his gaze on Megan as he unlocked the door. The grind of metal hinges filled the silence between them. Taking a step into the cell, a sudden wave of helplessness enveloped him. What if he couldn’t save her?
No. Whatever had warranted Megan’s imprisonment Logan would find a way to fix the problem, but for now…
He opened his arms wide.
She hesitated only a second, then a swift smile flashed across her face and she rushed into his embrace.
“Logan,” she whispered, wrapping her fingers around the lapels of his jacket with a fierce grip.
He folded her tightly against him, breathing the scent he remembered well. Clean and fresh, like soap mixed with spring flowers. A pleasant calm descended over him, smoothing the jagged edges of his embittered soul.
So many mistakes to regret.
Exhaling, he dropped his chin on the top of her head. So many choices he should have made differently.
But he was home now. They were together. Everything would be all right. Except…
Everything wasn’t all right.
Megan held her shoulders stiff, as though she intentionally kept a part of herself back from him. In all the times he’d dreamed of this moment, in all the ways he’d expected their reunion to go, none of them included her unyielding in his arms.
He tried not to feel disappointed by her reaction and focused on calming her. After all, she’d been through an ordeal. That alone explained her reticence now.
With a gentle stroke, he smoothed his hand down her hair. One time. Two times. Three.
At last, she relaxed against him. “I knew you would come home to me,” she said in a soft voice.
His heart twisted in his chest. Despite her confidence in him, Logan could see where he’d gone wrong. He’d not tried hard enough to come back for her sooner.
Easing her head back, he touched the side of her face, his thumb brushing her cheek.
God had brought him home at last. Logan had to make this right. For Megan, if not for himself.
Lord, may I not be too late to undo whatever damage has been done. I pray You give me the courage needed to save this woman.
Just as she rested her face into his hand, just as everything felt right between them she pulled back and shuffled out of reach. Tugging her bottom lip between her teeth, she lowered her gaze to the floor. But not before he saw the flash of guilt in her eyes. Not regret. Not pain. Guilt. Unmistakable guilt.
What had she done?
Trouble rode the uncomfortable silence that spread between them. But a deeper, more disturbing current of secrets ran below the surface.
“We’ll figure this out,” he promised. “And then we’ll be together, like we planned.”
She lifted her head, gave him the sweet smile he remembered so well, the one he’d recalled on his darkest and loneliest nights.
“I missed you, Megan.” It was the simple truth.
As though his words gave her strength, she lifted her chin a fraction higher. Logan’s gaze connected with a long, jagged slash starting just below her jaw and running down the smooth column of her neck. He knew a knife cut when he saw one. It wasn’t deep and it had been cleaned, but someone had held a knife against Megan’s throat.
A violence he hadn’t known possible roared past the regret in his mind, past the anger and morphed itself into blinding fury. “Who did this to you?”
She raised her hand to her neck and covered the wound with trembling fingers. Logan caught sight of the dried blood on her sleeve. Sucking in a hard breath, he lowered his gaze and noted similar stains on her dress.
“Megan, please.” The control required to keep his voice soft brought a physical pain to his chest. “Tell me who hurt you.”
She blinked in an absent manner, and then looked around the cell as though she was searching the room for her answer. “Co…Cole Kincaid.”
Kincaid. The name meant nothing to him. But Logan would find him. And when he did…
“I’ll kill him.”
She gasped. “No. You don’t understand.” Her eyes filled with desperation. “He’s already dead.”
At the catch in her voice, the remorse in her gaze, Logan shut his mind to the truth staring back at him. It couldn’t be. Not Megan. Never Megan. Nevertheless, he pushed for an answer. “Who killed him?”
Taking a deep breath, she clasped her hands behind her back and lifted her shoulders. She stood in the posture of the condemned walking to the hangman’s noose. “I did.” She cocked her head at a defiant angle. “I killed Cole Kincaid.”
There. Megan had made her confession. Even if she couldn’t remember any of the details of her time in Mattie’s brothel after her initial arrival, even if Sheriff Scott wasn’t convinced she had the strength to shove a knife into Cole’s chest, the possibility was there. After all, she’d been found in Mattie’s private rooms. Alone with the dead outlaw. His blood literally on her hands.
What other explanation could there be than the obvious one?
She would lose Logan now. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon. He was a U.S. Marshal, sworn to uphold the law. And she was a suspect in a brutal murder.
Elevating her chin a fraction higher, Megan gripped her hands tighter behind her back and willed Logan to say something. Anything. But he didn’t speak. Instead, a frown wove across his forehead and he cocked his head to the left.
The ripple of a memory slithered through her mind. She’d seen him look like this before, as though he couldn’t reconcile her presence in this wicked, dangerous place.
She tugged at the shadowy thought. Tugged and tugged. Just when she almost captured the elusive memory, her mind filled with a void as black and unreachable as her time with Cole Kincaid.
Logan focused on her again. But, still, he didn’t break the uncomfortable silence that stretched between them. He kept blinking at her, his chest rising and falling in an uneasy rhythm. She understood his struggle. She was having difficulty finding words herself.
With a slight tremble in his hand, he ran a finger down her throat. She gave an involuntary shake. The cut was still sore from the knife’s jagged edge and the skin was probably starting to bruise.
What must he think? “Logan, did you hear me? I killed—”
“You didn’t kill anyone.”
How could he be so sure? “You don’t know that.”
“I know you.” The certainty in his voice made her want to weep with relief.
But what if he was wrong? What if she was capable of far more evil than anyone realized? Perhaps that was the reason she couldn’t remember what happened at Mattie’s brothel. Or why she’d been found alone with Cole.
“People change,” she reminded him.
“Not that much.” He stroked her hair. “Not that much.”
His conviction staggered her. She hadn’t expected his unwavering defense of her character. It was disheartening to think she might not be able to live up to his expectations.
“Oh, Logan.” She sagged back a step and lowered her gaze. “What if you never really knew me?” What if I never really knew myself?
“I know you, Megan.” He gripped her shoulders with gentle hands and pulled her toward him again. “I’ve seen you with the younger Charity House orphans. I’ve watched you hug away a hurt. You’re a fine, godly woman with compassion in your heart. You are not capable of cold-blooded murder.”
But what if it hadn’t been cold-blooded? What if she’d been defending herself? What if it was something in between the two? Why, why couldn’t she remember?
As though sensing her panic, Logan kept his hands on her shoulders, his gaze stark and measuring but not condemning.
Her reeling senses couldn’t take all that intensity, all that confidence. Why wasn’t he judging her? Unable to withstand the strain, she pulled free from his touch.
Raking his fingers through his hair, he paced through the cell with hard, clipped steps. Back and forth he went, moving with the lethal grace of a large mountain lion. Every few steps he’d toss her a frustrated glare. His hands were clenched into tight fists, as though he was trying to control his pent-up emotions.
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