Kitabı oku: «Small-Town Redemption»
Talk about a change of plans!
E.R. nurse Charlotte Ellison has her life mapped out, including a happily-ever-after with the perfect man. Sure, that disastrous night with sexy badass Kane Bartasavich wasn’t in the plan. He’s the opposite of perfect, and forever isn’t in his vocabulary. What was she thinking? Still, she simply has to stay away from him and everything will be on track.
But avoidance is impossible when Kane lands in her E.R. All of Charlotte’s protective instincts come out when she sees him in pain. She knows firsthand getting involved with him is a bad deal. But this attraction might be too deep to ignore.
Couldn’t he see she was flirting with him?
When Kane lowered his arm, Charlotte touched the tip of the sword tattooed on his biceps. “What does this one mean?”
“In some cultures,” he said, his tone gruff, “it symbolizes judgment.”
Judgment. She hadn’t expected that. Had thought someone like him would’ve chosen a different emblem, something that meant power or perhaps antiestablishment. Power to the people and all that. A hand with the middle finger sticking up.
Maybe there was more to him than she’d thought.
“What are you doing here, Red?” He looked pointedly at her hand still on his arm, her fingers caressing the smoothness of his skin as if of their own will.
Good question. What was she doing here? Her first instinct was to leap back, to put as much distance between them as possible. But that would defeat her purpose, wouldn’t it? She could do this. She would do this. Kane would be hers for one night.
She’d come too far to back down now.
Dear Reader,
One of the things I love most about writing is discovering my characters. It never fails: I start a book thinking I know each character’s complete backstory, personality and the traits that will make them fully developed and realistic. I often have page upon page of notes outlining their strengths and flaws, how they’ll react to others and what it will take to push them out of their comfortable—if not completely fulfilling—existence, and into the lives they were meant to live.
And then, as I’m writing, something always, always takes me by surprise. A previously cynical hero turns out to be shy and romantic. A heroine who was supposed to be a sweet-natured pushover fights her way through a story. It’s these surprising insights that, I think, make my characters become people we want to root for and stick with throughout an entire book.
That’s exactly what happened with Kane Bartasavich, the sexy bartender first introduced in What Happens Between Friends (Mills & Boon Superromance, August 2013). I thought Kane was your typical bad boy. He had the looks and the attitude, after all. He was, in my mind, a loner with a chip on his shoulder, someone no one could get close to.
Until his teenage daughter showed up at his apartment.
Yes, I was surprised by that development. But the more I wrote, the more I realized I’d initially shortchanged Kane by labeling him as just another bad boy. He’s so much more—which Charlotte Ellison quickly realizes!
I loved writing Kane and Charlotte’s story and revisiting the town of Shady Grove. Later this year my fifth book in the In Shady Grove series will be out, where charming playboy Leo Montesano meets his match. I hope you’ll look for it!
Please visit my website, www.bethandrews.net, or drop me a line at beth@bethandrews.net. I’d love to hear from you.
Happy reading!
Beth Andrews
Small-Town Redemption
Beth Andrews
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Romance Writers of America RITA® Award winning author Beth Andrews writes contemporary romance for Harlequin’s Superromance line, checks for her kids’ college tuition bills and text messages that somehow end up on her kids’ Twitter feeds. She loves coffee, hockey and happy endings. Learn more about Beth and her books by visiting her website, www.BethAndrews.net.
To my wonderful editor, Wanda Ottewell.
Thank you so much for your insight, encouragement and patience!
Acknowledgment
Special thanks to Taryn Maley, RN, for her invaluable help.
Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Extract
CHAPTER ONE
CHARLOTTE ELLISON HAD a life plan.
She’d had a life plan, she amended as she stomped up the wooden stairs. She’d had it all figured out, had carefully planned how to achieve her goals and gone after them, no holds barred. And she’d achieved so much, had always done what she’d set out to do. Had always, always gotten what she’d wanted.
Until two weeks ago when she’d made a complete and utter fool of herself. When she’d kissed the man she loved, the man she was so sure was going to be the father of her future children, and he’d responded with a pat on the head and a kind I’m just not into you.
Bastard.
Her ankle twisted. Pain shot up her leg and she almost did a face-plant on the stairs before catching her balance. She glared at her shoes. Stupid four-inch hooker heels. And to think, they’d actually seemed like a good idea when she’d bought them. She continued on, resolute and limping, the sound of her footsteps bouncing off the walls, the echoes mocking her.
But worse than that humiliation? The next day she’d discovered the real reason James Montesano didn’t want her.
He loved her sister.
Tears stung Charlotte’s eyes, tickled her nose. She sniffed them back. She was through crying. Done. It was time to move on. Back in the saddle and all that. But it grated—oh, how it grated—that she’d done everything right, every last damn thing, and still she’d failed in a stunning and spectacular fashion.
It wasn’t fair.
Not when she’d worked so hard, planned so well and considered each and every possible outcome.
She pressed her lips together, bumped her fist against her thigh with each step. Okay, so she’d considered every possible outcome except the one that had actually happened. She could hardly believe she’d been so naive. So stupid.
Never again.
No more lists. No more worrying about the future. No more plans. She’d learned her lesson. From now on, she was following her instincts. Being spontaneous. Taking the road not taken.
That road led here where, in a matter of minutes, she’d prove she was a desirable woman worthy of a man’s attention. Not just any man, either. A gorgeous, sexy man with a cool, hooded gaze, a hard body covered in tattoos and a perpetual smirk. A dangerous man. The kind who would induce panic in her mother, give her father nightmares and make all of her friends weep with envy.
The kind of man she’d sworn never to get involved with, had never before been interested in. The kind of man Sadie—her pretty, flighty, reckless sister—usually went for.
Biting her lower lip, Char stared at the warped wooden door. Behind it lay the key to her vindication.
Or her complete ruin.
She was putting her self-worth on the line here. Was tossing aside her morals and pride. He’d better be worth it.
She knocked, the sharp raps brisk and authoritative, as if her knees weren’t shaking. As if she weren’t terrified out of her mind.
When the door remained shut for the longest three minutes of her life, no sound of movement coming from behind it, she used the side of her fist to pound on the wood. Repeatedly.
His motorcycle was in the parking lot. He had to be home.
She wouldn’t have the courage to come back if he wasn’t, if she had time to think about this for too long.
The door was yanked opened, and there he stood. Not the man of her dreams—that title belonged to her as-of-yet-unknown future husband. No, the man before her was more like the star of her deepest, darkest, sexiest fantasies.
Well, look at him, she thought in exasperation. With a sharply planed face way too pretty for his—or anyone else’s—good, Kane Bartasavich was tall, broad-shouldered and, at the moment, barefoot and shirtless. His wild mane of golden hair tousled around his face, the ends brushing his shoulders. His chest was smooth and leanly muscled, his arms well defined.
He had the word savage—in flowing script—tattooed above his heart. A swirling tribal tat covered his left arm from shoulder to just above his elbow. His right biceps sported a flaming sword, his right side the word pride. Below his navel, three Chinese symbols formed a triangle, the bottom two disappearing under the waist of his low-slung jeans.
Jeans, she noted, her eyes widening, he’d zipped but not buttoned.
Oh. My.
Warmth swept through her, fast and furious, stealing her breath, her thoughts.
She wished it would take her inhibitions, too. Her doubts.
Averting her gaze to somewhere less...dangerous...she worked moisture back into her mouth. Then checked out the symbols once more. Honestly, they were like a magnet, drawing her attention again and again.
Heat still stinging her cheeks, she opened her mouth to say something clever and charming, only to cringe when all that came out was a croak more often associated with Kermit the Frog than a highly intelligent, confident woman.
She tried again, this time managing a breathless, “Hi.”
So much for dazzling Kane with her wit and tantalizing conversation. Good thing she wasn’t here to talk.
He looked beyond her as if searching for the reason she was there. Finally, his gaze settled on her, his green eyes giving nothing away. “You lost, Red?”
Red. That was the tired and unoriginal name he’d christened her with upon their first meeting a few weeks ago. She supposed it was better than Freckles. “No.”
“Then the building had better be on fire and you woke me to save my life.” The implicit threat in his low words wasn’t the least bit softened by the huskiness of his sleep-laden tone.
“It’s after noon,” she said. “Time to wakey-wakey.”
“I work nights. I don’t wakey-wakey until at least 2:00 p.m.”
“I worked last night, too. But I’m up and dressed. And pleasant.”
“This is you being pleasant?”
“I’m extremely pleasant,” she snapped before getting herself under control. She inhaled, counted to five, then exhaled slowly. “I realize we haven’t seen the best side of each other.” Only because he brought out the worst in her. The man was infuriating. How Sadie could even tend bar for him was beyond Charlotte. “But suffice it to say, I’m an incredibly nice woman.”
He stared at her, obviously not believing it. And he kept right on staring, as if he had all the livelong day to stand there.
She crossed her arms. Tapped her foot. Felt the minutes tick-ticking away.
Dropping her arms, she huffed out a breath. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
“Hadn’t planned on it.”
Un-freaking-believable. Taking matters into her own hands—the best way to get things done—she shoved open the door and brushed past him. “Anyone ever tell you you’re rude?”
One side of his mouth kicked up in a condescending smirk. “You’re the one who barged into my apartment without being invited, little girl.”
Little girl.
She stayed rooted to her spot, her scalp prickling, a lump forming in her throat. Sadie had called her little girl when they’d had their fight two weeks ago. It’d been a huge, ugly blowup. One Charlotte was afraid they might not be able to get past.
Then again, she was still mad enough she wasn’t certain she wanted to get past it.
And she wasn’t a little girl. She was a fully grown, competent, independent woman. Wasn’t she here to prove that?
She couldn’t let Kane get to her. Yes, he was an ass. An ill-mannered, overgrown rebel without a cause. He was everything she didn’t want in a man. Cocky. Arrogant. Snide.
She didn’t like him.
She didn’t have to. Not for this.
Kane walked into the tiny kitchen, granting her a view of the Aztec tattoo on his broad back—a large bird, its wings outspread across his shoulder blades. Black flames dripped from the wings, licked along Kane’s spine, which served as part of the narrowing tail. It ended in a sharp point between two fingerprint-sized indentations above the waist of his jeans.
She rubbed the pads of her thumbs against her forefingers. Wondered what it would be like to press them there. To have all of that skin, those lean muscles under her hands.
Wondered if she had the courage to find out.
She rolled her head like a boxer preparing for round one. Guess she’d soon know.
Charlotte set her purse on the table by the door, then joined him in the kitchen where he poured distilled water into a large, and expensive, coffeemaker.
“Need any help?” she asked, trying for cheerful but falling somewhere in the vicinity of aggrieved.
He didn’t even glance her way. “Don’t make me call the cops to come and haul you out of here.”
She puffed out her cheeks. The least he could do is look at her. She hadn’t wiggled into these jeans for her health. Was probably damaging a few internal organs by wearing the tight denim. Not to mention how bad her feet hurt. But the overall effect was worth it. The stupid heels added to her considerable height and the dark jeans made her legs look endless, cupped her butt and gave the illusion she had hips—no easy feat. Her shirt was silky and cut low enough to give a glimpse of her black lace bra. She’d straightened her hair, taken time with her makeup.
She’d been cursed with too many cute genes to ever pass for beautiful, but right now, she looked hot. Sexy.
Kane was obviously too blind to notice.
Leaning back against the counter, she subtly arched her back, held on to the edge with her hands, pushing her chest out. “Your apartment is...” She glanced around. “Uh...nice.”
Lovely. If you liked worn, beige carpet, walls that needed a fresh coat of paint—preferably something other than the current dingy yellow—and a kitchen straight from the 1970s, complete with orange Formica counters. At least it was clean. Then again, he kept O’Riley’s, the bar downstairs, his bar, spotless.
A point in his favor.
“You’re very neat,” she blurted.
Biting the inside of her lower lip, she winced. Neat? Was that the best she could come up with? Next thing she knew she’d be complimenting him on his straight teeth and bringing up the weather.
Oh, sure, now he looked at her, when she was blushing and mentally kicking herself. Not just looked, either, he studied her, rather intently. “Are you off your meds or something?”
She giggled—giggled, for God’s sake—the sound forced, high-pitched and way too loud. Why did flirting have to be so hard? It was as natural as breathing to Sadie. You’d think that was the kind of genetic trait that could be passed from sister to sister.
Charlotte swatted his arm, meant for it to be playful, but ended up hitting him hard enough to make her palm sting. He didn’t so much as blink.
“Don’t be silly,” she said, seemingly unable to bring her tone back to its normal range. “I just meant that, well, you’re so...” Rough. Hard. Dangerous. She gestured to him in all his bare-chested, tattooed glory. Let it go at that. “I thought you’d be—”
“A slob?”
“No,” she breathed, the lie like a stone in her throat, choking her. “I mean, maybe I’d briefly considered you’d be...less tidy. With a motorcycle in the living room, a pet boa constrictor and a closet filled with scarred leather jackets.”
“Stairway’s too narrow for my bike,” he said solemnly. “But who says the other two aren’t true?”
She swallowed. He was probably kidding about the snake. Still, she stepped closer to him, kept an eye out for any sudden, slithering movements. “Anyway, it’s nice. That you’re tidy. Did you learn that in the military?”
In the act of getting a coffee mug from an upper cabinet, he paused. “I never told you I was in the service.”
“Everyone knows. Small town. No secrets.” Though seeing him now, he seemed a far cry from a spit-shined soldier. “Do you miss it? Being a Marine?”
He looked at her as if she’d just slapped his face and called his mother ugly. “I was a Ranger. In the Army.”
“Ranger. That’s Special Forces, right?”
He grunted.
So charming.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “I always get them confused. Is it one grunt for yes, and two for no?”
No smile. No glint of humor in those green eyes. Nothing. He simply watched the coffeemaker as if it held the answers to life’s most pressing questions. Since he refused to notice what a fetching image she made, she straightened. She needed a few more sessions at the yoga studio before she could hold the arched pose for any length of time, especially after a twelve-hour shift in the E.R.
Covering her mouth with the back of her hand, she yawned so hard her eyes watered. A shift that was quickly catching up with her.
She wandered into the living room. His apartment was small, maybe half the size of her own, with a view of the empty armory building next door and the Dumpster in the alley.
She continued her exploration, trailing her fingers over the back of a checked high-back chair when he stepped into the doorway. He leaned against the doorjamb, the angle causing his stomach muscles to clench, the ridges clearly defined. Steam rose from the mug in his hand as he sipped his coffee, his biceps rounding with the movement.
Now that was somebody who knew how to pose.
She felt his gaze on her, steady and searching, as she crossed the room, so she put a bit of sway into her walk, and wished there was more to see, to pretend to study, but the man put the minimal in minimalist. Other than the ugly chair, the only furnishings in the room were a small, flat-screen TV on top of a scarred wooden end table and a lumpy floral couch. No knickknacks. No decorative pillows or throws. No pictures or personal effects at all.
She glanced down the small hallway. The door to the right was shut—bathroom?—the other, at the end of the hall, open far enough to give her a glimpse of his bed, the covers rumpled, the pillow still indented from his head.
She imagined him getting out of that bed, tugging his jeans on, cursing and muttering about people interrupting his precious sleep.
Was the bed still warm from his body? Were his sheets soft or crisp? Did his scent linger on the pillow?
She crossed to stand in front of him. Funny how now that he looked at her, she felt more vulnerable, exposed, though he was the one only half-dressed. She had no idea what to do, what to say to get him to cooperate with her. That was the problem with not making plans. No road map. She needed one. Her sense of direction sucked.
“Uh...I’m...uh...thinking of getting a tattoo,” she said.
He raked his gaze over her, from the top of her extremely smooth hair to the tips of her ridiculously high heels. “That so?”
Did he have to sound condescending? So disbelieving?
“That’s so.” She edged closer, breathed in the rich scent of coffee, the spiciness of his soap, surprised by how pleasant she found the combination. “Did they hurt?” she continued, her tone husky. Breathless.
He shrugged. Lifted the mug to his mouth again, almost clipping her on the chin.
She wanted to swipe it out of his hand, throw the damn thing against the wall. Couldn’t he see she was flirting with him? The least he could do was reciprocate, especially when she was so out of her element.
Hard not to be when he was the epitome of physical perfection. She should have known he’d look like some freaking underwear model.
While she was too tall. Too thin. With small breasts and more angles than curves.
She’d have to make sure they kept the lights off when it came time to get naked.
When he lowered his arm, she touched the tip of the sword on his biceps. Traced her fingertip up the sharp line to the flame. His skin was warm. Softer than she’d expected.
“What does this one mean?” When he didn’t answer, she tried a teasing smile, one that would bring out her dimple—and hopefully loosen him up a bit. “Or did you just think it was pretty?”
His body went rigid. “In some cultures it symbolizes judgment.”
“Judgment,” she whispered almost to herself. “I would have thought you’d choose a different emblem, something more...antiestablishment. Skull and crossbones or a hand with the middle finger sticking up.”
“What are you doing?”
His question startled her, the low timbre of his voice causing gooseflesh to prick her arms.
She licked her lips. His eyes, following the movement, narrowed to slits. “Wha—what do you mean?”
He looked pointedly at her hand still on his arm, her fingers caressing the smoothness of his skin as if of their own will.
Her first instinct was to leap back, to put as much distance between them as possible. But that would defeat the purpose of her visit, wouldn’t it? She could do this.
She’d come too far to back down now.
Charlotte flattened her palm against his biceps, and he tensed, the muscle flexing momentarily before relaxing. “I’m touching you,” she said softly, smoothing her hand up his arm and settling it on his shoulder.
Oh, please don’t let my palms start sweating. Not now.
“Why are you touching me?”
Seriously? You’d think it was the first time the man had been hit on by a woman. Jeez. “Because I want to.”
Determined, and more than a little terrified, she laid her other hand on his opposite shoulder and held his gaze, annoyed and deflated when his remained steady. She wanted to fluster him, for him feel a fraction of the nerves, of the crazy energy, she felt whenever they were together.
Thanks to her high heels, it was easy, incredibly easy, to link her hands behind his neck and tug his head down. Her heart pounded painfully. Good Lord she hoped she didn’t have a coronary. Not now, not when his mouth was inches from her own, his breath mingling with hers.
She brushed a soft kiss across his mouth. Leaned back, her stomach in knots. But Kane didn’t jerk as if she’d tossed acid in his face, didn’t push her away as if she were some leper come to spread her disease. Didn’t treat her as if she were unattractive. Unwanted.
As James had when she’d kissed him.
Kane simply watched her. Patient, curious and waiting for her next move.
Emboldened, she stepped closer until their thighs touched, her breasts pressing against his chest, his warmth seeping through the silk of her shirt. She wished he would take the initiative, would sweep her up in his arms and carry her to his bed. That he’d take control and show her how this was done.
He didn’t move.
She should kiss him again, a real kiss, one with tongue, but she was frozen, unable to move. Unable to think. There was something about the way he looked at her that made her want to curl into herself, to slink away. But she wasn’t a quitter. The only way to get what you wanted was to go after it.
And what she wanted was Kane.
“Take me to bed,” she told him, albeit a bit shakily. “Now.”
* * *
WHY HIM?
Kane sighed, the movement causing his shoulders to rise and fall, which in turn caused Red’s breasts to brush against his chest. She didn’t have a lot going on in that department, but she had enough for his body to notice.
Hell.
Reaching behind his neck, he tugged her hands apart, then set her away from him. “Sorry, Red. Not interested.”
He went into the kitchen, but not before seeing the hurt, the embarrassment, cross her face.
Not his problem, he told himself, pouring more coffee into his cup. It wasn’t up to him to soothe or coddle her. She’d come here, had come to him. He hadn’t asked for her attention or her clumsy attempts at seduction.
She stomped after him, the embodiment of a woman scorned, complete with narrowed eyes and red splotches coloring her cheeks. She’d come to him and obviously wasn’t in a hurry to leave.
“What do you mean you’re not interested?” she asked, sounding incredulous. Disbelieving. “You’re a man. I’m a woman.”
Sipping his coffee, he looked her up and down. Her hair, red as a clown’s wig and stick-straight, fell past her shoulders. Heavy makeup hid the freckles on her nose and upper cheeks. She’d done something to her eyes, had lined them in thick black, used dark shadow on the lids then coated her pale lashes with what looked to be several layers of mascara. Her lips were a glossy pink.
She looked like a kid who’d gotten into her mother’s makeup.
“Just what I meant,” he said. “Not interested.”
Maybe he’d been a little bit interested a few minutes ago. She was right about one thing; he was a man. And she had been plastered against him. Not that skinny women with bad attitudes did much for him, but her hands had been soft on his arm, her fingers warm. And, he had to admit, she smelled good, really good, her perfume subtle and sweet. A contrast to her do-me heels and the permanent scowl she wore around him.
Practically vibrating with fury, she slapped her hands on her hips, the move tugging her shirt open and giving him a glimpse of smooth, creamy skin and the edge of a lacy black bra.
His body stirred. It was that damn man thing again.
“Oh, no. You are not doing this to me. Do you have any idea how long it took me to straighten my hair?” she asked, jabbing at her head hard enough to drill her finger right into her brain. “I can’t breathe, my feet hurt and I paid one hundred dollars for this stupid push-up bra.”
He let his gaze drop to her chest for one long, lazy moment. When he raised his eyes back to hers, she swallowed visibly. He smirked. “You might want to get your money back.”
She blanched before color rushed into her cheeks. She opened her mouth, no doubt to lay him flat, but then she shut her eyes and inhaled deeply, which, admittedly, did some interesting things to those small breasts.
On second thought, maybe that bra had been a good investment.
She opened her eyes, the glint in the light blue depths warning him he may have made a misstep.
Wouldn’t be his first.
She stormed up to him, all painted-on jeans, long legs and bad humor. “We are going to have sex, you hear me?” To punctuate her statement, she undid the top button of her shirt.
Kane paused in the middle of taking another sip of coffee. Raised an eyebrow. It was a bluff, that single button. It had to be. She didn’t have the guts to undo another one.
He hoped.
“Right here,” she continued, proving him wrong by yanking another one free. “Right now.” And another. “So stop pretending to be noble and take what is being offered to you.”
She dragged her shirt off her arms and threw it on the ground like a football player spiking the ball after a touchdown. Held his gaze, her breathing ragged, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her pale skin fairly glowing in his dimly lit kitchen.
His body responded to the sight of the soft curve of her breasts, her flat stomach and the ever-so-slight indentation of her narrow waist, and he considered, seriously considered, doing just that. Whether it was due to her being half-naked, his recent sexual dry spell or simply his resistance being down didn’t matter. In that moment, he wanted her. It pissed him off, this sudden, vicious need to have her.
Again and again and again.
That’s what his father would have done. What Kane had been brought up to do. Take what was so easily offered, so carelessly given. He’d been born into a wealthy family. A powerful one. Raised to believe he was better than others by virtue of his last name and his father’s financial worth.
Throw in his looks, and there had never been a shortage of available females ready and willing to do whatever it took to make Kane happy. To get his attention, to be on his arm—or in his bed.
There was a time when he wouldn’t have cared that Red was his employee’s sister, that they barely knew each other. That she didn’t want him so much as she wanted to use him. He would have used her, too, then set her aside without another thought or care.
He liked to think he wasn’t that big of a prick anymore.
“Seriously?” Red asked through gritted teeth, her arms splayed as if to point out she was, indeed, partially naked and offering herself to him. “This is something you have to think about?”
“No,” he told her in all honesty as he set his mug down. “I don’t have to think about it at all.”
He closed the distance between them, noted how she started to step back before catching herself. She lifted her chin as if facing the grim reaper head-on.
Kane moved closer, stopping shy of actually touching her. “You want me, Red?”
Her eyes widened. She licked her lips. “Yes,” she said, holding his gaze, all stoic and brave, her pale skin beckoning him to touch, the pulse beating rapidly at the base of her throat enticing him to taste. Her scent wrapped around him, making him want something he had no business wanting, something he never would have even considered before she barged into his apartment and stripped off her shirt.
“You want me to touch you?” he asked, his voice rough, his caress whisper-soft as he slowly trailed his fingertips up her arms.
A blush started at the base of her throat, bloomed in her cheeks. He wanted to press his lips to the side of her neck, to feel the warmth of that color washing over her skin. She swallowed hard, then nodded once, a quick jerk of her head.