To my critique partners Louise Foster,
Renee Halverson and Melissa Green. Thanks for
your insightful comments, friendship and support.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Coming Next Month
It was lust, Amy Logan decided as she pressed the dough into the pie crust with extra fervor. Pure and simple lust.
After all, it would be unnatural to live with such a handsome man for three years and not have the occasional urge to see him naked.
Having no sex in years probably didn’t help, either, Amy thought, her lips twisting upward in a wry smile. Or the fact that this morning she’d slipped upstairs to get Emma her backpack and caught him just out of the shower.
Oh, he’d been perfectly presentable with a Turkish towel wrapped firmly around his waist. And she’d certainly seen him with his shirt off before.
Every summer he went to the pool at the country club with her and Emma at least a couple of times.
But there was something different about knowing that he’d been naked only moments before. Something about seeing the droplets of water clinging to his broad chest. Something about smelling that delicious mixture of soap, shampoo and clean masculine flesh.
Amy inhaled deeply. Even now if she closed her eyes, she could still—
“Got any coffee left?”
Amy’s eyes popped open and she stilled, grateful she faced the wall. Otherwise the object of her desires might think she was having a sensual experience with a pie crust.
Schooling her features into what she hoped was a nonchalant expression, Amy turned.
Dan Major stood in the center of the large modern kitchen wearing her favorite suit. The cut emphasized his broad shoulders and lean hips and the navy color brought out the brilliant blue of his eyes. Still damp from the shower, his short dark hair fell into a careless wave on his forehead.
He was an inch or two over six feet and easily the most handsome man she’d ever known. It only made sense that she’d want to see him naked. What didn’t make sense was why that desire had taken so long to surface.
She and the hunky widower had lived side by side for almost three years. Amy had always considered Dan a good friend. But over the past six months she’d found herself thinking of him in a different way, seeing him not just as her employer and friend but as a desirable man.
“Amy?”
His lips curved upward and she realized with a start that she’d been staring.
Without a word, she reached over and lifted the pot from the warmer. “Can I pour you a cup?”
“I can get my own,” he protested as he pulled out a chair and took a seat at the table.
Amy smiled. Dan was the quintessential modern man with one major exception. Despite being only thirty-four and having been raised in a progressive twoincome family, Dan rarely helped out around the house.
Unfortunately she had only herself to blame. She’d refused his offers of help so many times, he’d quit asking. The truth was she loved to pamper him and Emma. Keeping his house spotless and clothes laundered filled her with immense satisfaction. She prided herself on the fact that he could always count on a well-balanced, home-cooked meal at the end of the day.
A successful architect at one of Chicago’s largest and most prestigious firms, Dan alternated between working in the office or from home.
His schedule was so varied, Amy never knew if he’d be home, at the office, or out meeting with clients. It didn’t really affect her. Emma was in first grade this year and gone all day. The only difference was if Dan was home she’d make his lunch and maybe offer a snack in the afternoon.
After all, that’s what he was paying her for; that and taking care of his young daughter, Emma. And not only did he pay her, he paid her very well. With the extra money she saved by living-in, she’d been able to get enough cash together to start a small catering business.
Last year when she’d shown Dan her business plan, he’d been surprised, then concerned. He’d asked her point-blank if she was planning to leave. But when she’d reassured him that this was just something extra she wanted to do for herself, he’d been supportive.
Shortly after that he’d had the antiquated kitchen in the large older home remodeled. And best of all, he’d solicited her input and hadn’t batted an eye at her request for commercial-grade appliances.
For now she limited her efforts to catering small parties on the weekends and providing specialty desserts to a couple of restaurants. But she held high hopes for the future. One day she’d make enough so she could have her own home—
“I’d be happy to get my own coffee…”
Dan’s bemused voice broke through her reverie pulling Amy back to the present. She glanced down at the coffeepot she still held loosely in her hand. Ignoring Dan’s teasing comment, Amy quickly poured a cup and set the steaming brew in front of him. No need to ask if he wanted cream or sugar. She had his likes and dislikes memorized.
“Cinnamon roll?” she asked, appealing to his sweet tooth. “I made them this morning. Or I could whip up some bacon and eggs? It would only take a second—”
“I’m afraid this will have to do.” Dan glanced at the clock on the wall, took a hasty sip of coffee and pushed back his chair. “I have a meeting at the office at nine and I should’ve been gone by now.”
At the first scrape of the chair legs against the hardwood floor, Amy sprang into action. Grabbing the travel mug from the cupboard, she filled it with the rich Columbian blend that was his favorite.
By the time she was done he was already in the doorway. He turned. “I should be home early, around five-thirty.”
Amy let her gaze sweep over him, like it did over Emma every morning, making sure everything was in place. She frowned.
“Wait.” She popped the lid on the travel mug and quickly crossed the room. But instead of handing him the coffee, she placed it on the counter and stepped close. “Your tie needs some help.”
Grabbing the silk fabric, she loosened the off-center knot and with well-practiced ease, quickly retied it. But instead of taking a step back, she let her fingers linger.
Dan was in a hurry. He’d made that perfectly clear. Her head told her to step back, hand him the travel mug and send him on his way. But her feet wouldn’t move. The air surrounding them grew thick. It was as if an invisible web encased them. Time, which had been ticking onward with rhythmic precision, came to an abrupt halt.
The subtle scent of his cologne teased her nostrils. Heat emanating from his body washed over her.
She wanted to pull him close and press her lips to his, relieve this tension that had built up inside her. Instead she dropped her hands, placed them on her rounded hips and gave him a once-over. “Now you look presentable.”
Amy had learned long ago the perils of being foolish. And thinking that Dan—handsome, successful Dan, who could have any woman he wanted in the entire city of Chicago—was attracted to her would be the height of folly. He liked her, admired her, appreciated her. But any electricity she felt was definitely one-sided.
“Thanks.” The dimple in his left cheek flashed. He reached down and picked up the mug she’d placed on the counter. “And I appreciate the coffee.”
Somehow Amy managed an easy smile. “Anytime.”
She stood at the door and watched him get in the car. As he drove off, she lifted her hand and waved goodbye, then took a few steps and collapsed in a nearby chair. What in the world had she been thinking?
Dan wasn’t interested in her. And even if there was a tiny spark of something between them, there was no way she could compete with Tess Major’s memory and come out ahead. Other women had tried and they’d all failed. And that’s what Amy needed to remember before she did something she’d live to regret.
The smell of warm peach pie filled the large kitchen and Amy smiled as she wiped down the counters. Some women needed fancy clothes or trips to exotic ports, but all it took for her to be happy was a neat, orderly kitchen…
“Something smells good in here.”
Amy whirled. Dan stood in the doorway to the dining room, a lazy smile on his lips.
“You’re home early.” The minute the words left her mouth Amy wished she could pull them back. She’d made it sound as if he was unwelcome when nothing could be further from the truth.
It was just that she always liked to have everything ready and in its place when he came home. But it was only four-thirty and she hadn’t expected him for at least an hour. The table wasn’t set and Emma was still down the block playing at a friend’s house.
“Now that’s a warm welcome.” Dan smiled and that familiar dimple in his left cheek appeared. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you didn’t want me.”
His gaze settled on her and she forced herself not to glance away. But it was hard. The intense look in his blue eyes sent a shiver up her spine. “Tell me something, Amy. Do you ever think of me when I’m not here?”
That same electricity charged the air and Amy moistened her dry lips. She shifted from one foot to the other, not knowing how to answer. This morning he’d looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time.
This was another first. In all the years she’d worked for Dan, he’d never spoken to her like this before. There had always been a professional boundary that had never been crossed.
“Of course I think of you,” she finally managed to stammer.
He smiled and paused as if he expected her to elaborate.
But what else could she say? She certainly wasn’t about to bare her soul and confess her desire for some skin-to-skin action. Not to mention that her heart had lodged itself in her throat, making speech impossible.
Thankfully Dan didn’t press her for more. Instead he crossed the room, flung his suit jacket over a chair and loosened his tie.
Amy could feel her cheeks warm. She turned back to the counter and scrubbed a nonexistent spot with her sponge.
He stopped directly behind her, so close she could smell the spicy scent of his cologne and feel the heat from his body.
She turned and he was right there. Just like this morning it struck her how big he was, how tall. How overwhelmingly male in every way.
Her heart picked up speed.
His gaze lazily appraised her and his eyes darkened. “You’re so beautiful.”
The compliment rolled from his lips like warm honey. It wasn’t true, of course. The sprinkle of freckles across her nose and the extra twenty pounds she constantly fought made her wholesome, rather than beautiful. But suddenly, under his admiring gaze, for the first time in her twenty-eight years, Amy felt beautiful.
“Thank you.”
His lips quirked. “You’re very welcome.”
Could she be any worse at this flirting stuff? It didn’t seem possible.
She started to ask if his meeting had gotten canceled when he took another step forward and his body brushed hers. In that instant Amy forgot how to breathe, much less talk.
With the gentlest of touches, Dan slid his fingers into the warm silky mass at her nape, letting his thumbs graze the soft skin beneath her jaw.
Waves of chills and heat raced through Amy until she was nearly dizzy. He was going to kiss her; she could see it in his eyes. She tossed the sponge to the counter without shifting her gaze from him.
His lips lowered and she let her eyelids drift shut, anticipation coursing through her…
The front door slammed shut.
Amy jumped as if she’d been shot. Panic raced through her. Emma couldn’t find the two of them together. She raised a hand to push Dan away and found only air.
Her gaze darted around the room and after a long second it finally sank in…she was alone. There’d been no Dan and no almost-kiss. Heat rose up her neck. She’d had vivid dreams before, but never with Dan as the star player.
“Amy, I’m home.” Emma’s childish voice rang out from the foyer.
“In the kitchen,” Amy called back. She rubbed her mouth with the back of her hand. Though it had been only a dream, her lips still tingled.
“Is it ’bout time for dinner?” The petite six-year-old bounded into the kitchen, a streak of dirt on her cheek and a grass stain on one knee. “I’m hungry.”
Amy couldn’t help but smile. Dan often joked that the little girl’s stomach was a bottomless pit. Emma could eat and five minutes later be hungry. “Once your father gets home, we’ll have dinner. He shouldn’t be too late.”
Amy opened her arms and the girl ran to her. When Amy had been Emma’s age, hugs had been in short supply. She’d vowed when she had children, she’d make sure they knew they were loved.
Amy couldn’t imagine anything better than having a family of her own—a husband to love, a child to cherish.
Her arms tightened around Emma. One day she’d be a mother. But for now, she had Emma to love.
Emma laid her head against Amy’s chest. “I love you.”
Tears sprang to Amy’s eyes at the child’s sincerity. “I love you, too, pumpkin.”
Yes, for now this would most definitely do.
Out of the corner of his eye, Dan Major saw a stylish young woman across the bar and realized he knew her. He smiled and she waved.
“Another Dan fan?” Jake Stanley’s lips curved upward. “How in the world do you do it?”
“Stuff it, Jake.” Dan grabbed some peanuts from the basket in the center of the table and popped them in his mouth.
Seeing old girlfriends only reinforced why Dan found it hard to date. He liked the companionship but women always seemed to want more. Bree was a perfect example. Though she’d professed to being devoted to a singles’ lifestyle, after a couple of months, she’d changed her tune.
Dan sighed and glanced around the bar. Although it was only Thursday night, the place was crowded with women from nearby businesses. He suspected that was why Jake had insisted on coming to this bar.
Looking for love in all the wrong places…
For some reason the words to the vintage song popped into Dan’s head. But the lyrics didn’t fit his life. The last thing Dan was looking for tonight, or any other night, was love.
Jake shot Dan a speculative gaze. “Speaking of Dan fans, how’s it going with Miranda?”
“Her name is Melinda.” Dan kept his tone deliberately offhand. “And we’re not seeing each other anymore.”
“Let me guess.” Jake lifted a finger to his lips and pretended to think. “You broke up with her.”
Dan grabbed another handful of peanuts, strangely irritated by the knowing look in his friend’s eyes. “What does it matter who decided to end it? The point is it wasn’t working.”
“It wasn’t working because she wanted more than sex,” Jake said conversationally, resting his arms on the table. “Things heat up, you back off.”
“You don’t know squat.” Dan’s tone was sharper than he’d intended but it had been hard losing Melinda. Just like Bree, she was a nice woman and he’d enjoyed her company. But he refused to promise more than he could deliver.
Jake placed his drink on the table and lifted his hands. “Whoa, buddy. I wasn’t saying there was anything wrong with playing the field—”
Dan ignored the envious look in his friend’s eye. The truth was Dan didn’t like being on the dating merry-go-round. But the longer he was with a woman, the more they seemed to want, the more they seemed to need. He’d yet to find a woman who was content to keep it casual. “I made it clear from the very beginning that I didn’t want to get married again. Why is that so hard for women to understand?”
“Because regardless of what they say, they want that ring on their finger.” Jake lifted a hand and motioned for the waiter to bring him another drink. “I know you’ve got this thing against marriage but I think you should reconsider.”
Dan took a sip of beer. Jake had it all wrong. He didn’t have anything against marriage. He’d loved being married to Tess. From the time he’d first laid eyes on the perky blonde, he’d known she was the one. When they’d said “I do” he’d happily planned on spending the rest of his life with her. His heart twisted.
“You’d have someone to warm your bed and that little girl of yours would have a mother,” Jake continued.
Dan shoved aside his memories and smiled at the thought of his daughter. Of all the things he valued most in his life, his six-year-old topped the list. “Emma is coping with the loss of her mother. Amy takes good care of her.”
Amy had been his daughter’s nanny for three years and Dan knew she loved Emma as if she were her own. She’d made the house a home for both of them.
“Which is all well and good,” Jake said. “Until ‘nanny’ finds a man and decides to get married and leave you.”
Amy wouldn’t leave me.
Dan bit back the words, shocked at the strength of emotion the thought evoked. He started to say Amy didn’t even date, but stopped himself again. There had been one guy recently…
He’d been surprised—stunned would actually be closer to the truth—when Amy had casually mentioned she was going to the movies with someone she’d met at her cooking club. In all the years she’d lived under his roof, Dan couldn’t remember her dating before. Amy just never seemed like the dating type.
Not that she was ugly or anything. Far from it. With her brown hair, green eyes and a smattering of freckles across her nose, Amy had that natural, all-American look that any man would find attractive. And she was smart. While she always had an opinion on the latest current events, she also liked to listen. Any man would be lucky to have her for a girlfriend or wife.
A tightness filled his chest. Jake was right. If she left, he’d be stuck. He’d never find another nanny like Amy. He might even have to do what Jake suggested and remarry. A chill traveled up Dan’s spine.
Since he’d been fifteen, Tess had been the only woman Dan had ever wanted in his life. His wife had been beautiful, smart and a rising star in the fashion world with her innovative clothing designs. For the first five years of their marriage, life had been wonderful. Their careers had flourished and the old house they’d purchased in Lincoln Park was perfect for a growing family.
But after Emma was born, Tess had decided there would be no more children. She loved her daughter but her pregnancy had been difficult and Emma was a fussy baby. And when her new line took off like a skyrocket, her career began demanding more of her time and energy.
Dan had reluctantly put away his dream of a large family, but he hadn’t given up completely. When Emma was two he’d convinced Tess to have one more, promising her a full-time nanny. That’s when Amy had come to live with them. But the second baby he’d wanted so much had died along with Tess.
Guilt washed over him, mixed with an overwhelming sense of loss. He’d give anything to be able to go back and tell Tess he didn’t care about having another child or a playmate for Emma, he only cared about having her in his life.
“Mark my words, it’s going to happen.” Jake, appearing to revel in his role as a prophet of doom, pulled Dan back to the present. “It’s just a matter of time.”
“Amy isn’t going to get married.” Even if he didn’t fully believe them, saying the words out loud made Dan feel better.
She couldn’t leave. He depended on her to keep his household running smoothly. And he really liked having her around. Over the past couple of years they’d become good friends. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like if she wasn’t there.
“She’ll get married.” Jake nodded his head to punctuate the point. “She’s hot, in a plump sort of way. If she lost some pounds, I might be interested in dating her myself.”
Despite knowing Jake’s penchant for women who were model-slim, the comment set Dan’s teeth on edge. Maybe it was because he knew how Amy struggled with her weight and how self-conscious she was about the few extra pounds that made her more curvy than pencil-thin.
“Amy doesn’t need to lose an ounce,” Dan said. “And even if you wanted to date her, I know you too well to let that happen.”
Jake just laughed.
“Can I interest you two in some wings?” The waiter leaned across the table and slid Jake’s second drink in front of him.
Dan’s stomach growled and he realized with a start that lunch had been hours ago. He glanced at his watch and swore. Reaching into his pocket, Dan brought out a couple of bills and tossed them on the table.
“I’ll take a plate of the barbecued ones,” Jake said to the waiter before shifting his gaze to Dan. He lifted a brow. “You’re leaving?”
“I’m late.” Dan grabbed his briefcase and rose to his feet. “Amy will have dinner on the table.”
“I forgot.” Jake sat back in his chair, an inscrutable look on his face. “Superwoman does it all—cleans your house, cares for your kid and makes your meals. If you could just get her naked, you’d have it made.”
Dan ignored the crude comment—and the hint of envy in his friend’s tone—and simply smiled.
It was true. Amy had breakfast waiting for him every morning and dinner ready every night. The house was always spotless and, when he entertained, she worked behind the scenes making sure every little detail was covered. Best of all, she cared for Emma as if the child were her own.
No, as long as Amy was in his house, all was well in Dan’s world.
“Dinner was fabulous, Amy.” Dan wiped the corners of his mouth with the linen napkin and heaved a contented sigh. “And that dessert—”
“It was good, wasn’t it, Daddy?” Emma’s blue eyes sparkled the way they always did when her father was in the room.
“It certainly was, princess.” Dan’s fond smile lingered on his daughter. “Amy is a great cook.”
Amy pushed back her chair and rose, unable to stop the warm flush of pleasure at the compliment. There was nothing she enjoyed more than trying new recipes. She hadn’t been sure how Emma and Dan would react to the citrus-glazed salmon, but she’d been fairly certain they’d love the sour cream peach pie with homemade ice cream.
She hadn’t allowed herself even the tiniest of bites. A Moment On The Lips, Forever On The Hips had become her new mantra.
“Can I get either of you anything else before I clear the table?” Amy’s gaze shifted from Dan to Emma.
“No, thank you,” Emma said.
Amy shot the little girl a smile of approval. She’d been working with Emma the last couple of months on her manners and it was obviously paying off.
“And how about you?” Amy’s gaze settled on Dan. She’d lived in his house for over three years and firmly believed she knew him better than he knew himself. Like now, she couldn’t help but notice the lines of fatigue edging his eyes. Lately he’d been working too hard…and socializing too much.
Last Friday night, she’d lain awake until 1:00 a.m. waiting for him to come home before she’d finally fallen asleep. She wasn’t sure what time he’d come in but the next morning he’d been at the table at eight, ready to take Emma to the zoo as promised. Saturday night he’d stayed in. They’d all gone to the park and had a picnic, then came home and played board games on the porch until it was time to go to bed.
Being home on a Saturday night had been just one of the signs that another of Dan’s relationships had come to an end. It hadn’t surprised her. Melinda had been calling a lot and trying to cozy up to Emma. Amy could have told her such behavior was the kiss of death. If a woman wanted to keep Dan Major’s interest, she had to act like she didn’t care. That’s why Amy had kept a tight lid on her burgeoning desire for him. As far as he knew, she didn’t feel anything more for him than simple friendship. She was his housekeeper, his daughter’s caregiver and his friend.
Occasionally he’d confide in her, knowing what he said wouldn’t go any further. She savored those times and the closeness she…
“Earth to Amy.” Dan’s voice broke through her reverie.
She looked up with a start to find Dan and Emma staring at her.
Emma giggled. “You were spacing out.”
Amy blinked and warmth crept up her neck.
“What were you thinking about?” Dan asked, a curious glint in his eye. “You had the most interesting smile on your face.”
I was thinking about you.
The words rose unbidden to her tongue and when Emma giggled again, for a second Amy feared she’d said them aloud. She searched for a plausible explanation. “I was thinking about Steven.”
“Steven?” Dan frowned. “Who’s that?”
“He’s her boyfriend,” Emma said. “Amy and Steven sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love—”
“You were kissing a man?” The shocked look on Dan’s face would have been funny at any other time. “In front of Emma?”
“Of course I wasn’t, I didn’t,” Amy said quickly, embarrassed warmth coloring her cheeks. She shifted her gaze to Emma. “And Steven is my friend, not my boyfriend.”
“You talked to him for a long time on the phone today,” Emma said. “And you were smiling when you hung up.”
“He’s my friend,” Amy repeated. She glanced at Dan. “I’ve told you about him. He’s the guy from my cooking club. We were exchanging lasagna recipes.”
Dan’s dimple flashed. “Lasagna recipes?”
“That’s right.” Amy lifted a brow. “You find that amusing?”
“Not at all,” Dan said smoothly. “I think it’s nice that you two have so much in common.”
Amy pulled her brows together, not sure if he was being serious or insulting.
“We both like to cook,” she said finally.
Dan’s finger traced the raised pattern on the lace tablecloth and when he spoke his tone was decidedly offhand. “You two have been going out for what—a couple of months now?”
“Something like that,” Amy said. She still didn’t think of Steven as a boyfriend since, until recently, most of the “dates” had revolved around cooking group events.
Something flickered in the back of Dan’s eyes but he remained silent.
Unexpectedly Emma lifted her gaze to Amy. “Do you love him like my daddy loved my mommy?”
The girl’s question took Amy by surprise and she answered honestly. “No, I don’t.”
“Do you think you could love him?” Dan asked.
“I don’t know,” Amy said when she realized Dan expected an answer. “I guess anything is possible.”
Dan tucked Emma into bed and reveled at this perfect child he and Tess had created. He loved her with an intensity that took his breath away and his heart ached at the thought of all the pain she’d had to endure in her short life. All because of his selfish desire to give her a brother or sister.
“Good night, princess.” He brushed a kiss across her cheek. She was his priority and nothing mattered more to him than ensuring her happiness. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Daddy.”
“Amy will be up in a minute to say good-night.” His stomach tightened into a knot. Usually he and Amy tucked Emma in together. But tonight, Steven had called and Amy had said to go on without her.
A tear trailed down Emma’s cheek and her brows pulled together. With her big blue eyes and honey-blond hair, she looked more and more like her mother every day.
Dan’s heart tightened. “What’s the matter, sweetie?”
The little girl’s bottom lip trembled and a few more tears fell. Though Dan wanted to make better whatever was bothering her, he forced himself to wait. He’d learned you couldn’t rush Emma. When she was ready, she’d tell him what was bothering her. Then he’d make it all better.
“Is Amy going to marry Steven?”
The words hit him like a punch to the chest. Dan didn’t like the idea of Amy marrying Steven, either, but somehow he managed to keep a smile on his lips. “She said he was just her friend. Remember?”
“But sometimes friends get married.” Emma pushed herself up to her elbows. “When Grandma Ann married Grandpa Hal she said he was her good friend.”
Dan’s mother had been widowed for many years when she and her old friend Hal had decided to tie the knot. Theirs wasn’t the romantic love she and his father had shared but they were content together. Even if Dan could explain it adequately, he wasn’t sure a six-year-old could understand.
“Daddy.” Emma’s voice trembled. “Amy’s not going to marry him and leave us, is she?”
Dan’s jaw clenched at the thought of his daughter enduring one more loss. But Dan knew it wasn’t just Emma who’d suffer. If Amy left it would leave a hole in both their lives.
“She’s not going to leave.” He pulled Emma close and planted a kiss against her hair. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”
The resolve in Dan’s heart resounded in his voice. He didn’t care what the cost. He’d do whatever it took to keep Amy in his household…and Emma happy.
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