Kitabı oku: «The Missing Husband», sayfa 4

5

If there was a moment when Jo woke up and thought it was David lying next to her in bed then she must have missed it. Her sister hadn’t left her side all night and the reward for her efforts was an elbow in the ribs as Jo scrambled around to find her mobile, which had slipped from her grasp while she slept.

Her eyes were still bleary but she could see enough to know there were no missed calls or messages. The slithering fear that had begun to wrap itself around her the night before tightened its grip around her chest, but it was the violent lurch of her stomach that sent Jo flying out of bed and into the bathroom where she dry retched into the toilet bowl. She kept one hand over her abdomen in a vain attempt to settle the baby who objected to being jostled about, its kicks making her stomach flip all the more.

Her body shook violently and she swallowed back the bitter taste of bile before turning to her sister who had followed her into the en suite. ‘What time is it?’

Steph held out a glass of water. ‘Almost seven.’

A second later, the radio in the bedroom burst into life. Jo often woke up just before the alarm and despite the traumas of the night before her body clock was ticking along as if nothing had happened. She clung on to this fragment of normality as she stood up and took a sip of water.

‘I’d better get ready for work.’

‘You are not going in, Jo.’

Jo chose to interpret the command as a question. ‘Of course I’m going in. What use am I waiting around here?’

‘But …’

‘David is due in work too. I’d rather be there in the same building waiting for him to arrive than phoning his office every two minutes and annoying everyone.’ Jo sensed another ‘but’ coming and quickly added, ‘And you have to go to work too. I’ll be fine, Steph. I have to be.’

‘And what if David doesn’t turn up?’

‘Then I’ll phone his mum to see if he’s there. And if he isn’t,’ she continued, predicting Steph’s next question, ‘then I promise I’ll phone the police.’

‘Let’s hope it won’t come to that.’

Jo bit down hard and let the pain in her lower lip focus her mind on something other than the possibility that she might have to face another night like the last one. ‘It won’t,’ she said. ‘Now, can I have some privacy? I need to get ready.’

It was only when Jo had closed the door that she dared to look in the bathroom mirror. She recalled her haunted reflection the morning before when she had stood in the hallway draped in shadows. The shadows were there again but this time no amount of downlighting could dispel them. She hoped she was doing the right thing. She prayed David would turn up at work and put her out of her misery but more than anything, she hoped and prayed that he wasn’t lying in a ditch waiting for her to come to his rescue …

‘You look absolutely awful,’ Kelly said.

At times like this, when Kelly failed to apply any kind of internal filter before speaking, Jo would often suggest a more diplomatic turn of phrase or, if she was in a less forgiving mood, provide a sharp retort. But today Kelly’s remark barely raised a ripple in Jo’s consciousness. ‘Can you cancel all of today’s appointments for me? I’m going to spend the day in the office catching up on paperwork.’

‘OK,’ Kelly said but didn’t move. She was waiting for further explanation.

‘My first meeting was for nine so you’ll need to get a move on,’ Jo persisted. She was holding Kelly’s gaze but she sensed her assistant was concentrating more on her bloodshot eyes than the warning glare she was giving her. ‘Kelly?’

Finally on her own again, Jo turned her attention to her computer screen and the time-management system that was busily registering the arrival of staff in Nelson’s Liverpool office as they swiped in. David Taylor’s time log showed that he had left work on Tuesday night at 17.38 but she already knew this because she had left with him. She closed her eyes as she recalled David next to her in the car as they pulled up outside the house. She could feel his breath on her neck as he leaned in to nuzzle her. She could recall the sensation of his lips brushing against her neck then gently pinching soft skin between his teeth.

‘What are you after?’ she whispered as if he was right there next to her.

Squeezing her eyes tight, she willed the tears not to fall again. If only she could go back in time she would agree to give him a lift; in fact, she would say yes to anything David wanted if only he was there next to her. But when she opened her eyes and checked the information on the screen, her husband remained frustratingly out of reach. Tuesday evening was the last recorded event. Wednesday was blank because he had gone straight to Leeds and then there was Thursday. So far it too was blank. Jo refreshed the screen, hoping that a series of digits would magically appear. The screen didn’t even flicker.

To compound her misery, Jo forced herself to open up her calendar. She stared at an entry at the beginning of that week. It marked the start of what was meant to be an amazing two-week adventure across America. David had sent the invitation months earlier and had even attached an itinerary: if things had turned out differently, they would be in San Francisco now. She hadn’t accepted the invitation but neither had she declined it. She hadn’t wanted to crush one of David’s dreams, not when her own had just been conceived, so the appointment was left pending.

Closing the calendar, Jo checked the time log again, her hope rising only to drop to earth again with a thump. The log hadn’t changed. Unable to concentrate on anything else she stood up and gazed out of the window. The previous day’s storm had returned with a vengeance and battle-grey clouds thick with rain smeared the horizon. Completely immobilized, Jo lost all sense of time and drifted back to her last evening with David, desperate to recall every detail. She tried to remember the very last thing she had said to him.

After the initial war of words in the car she had said less and less, each syllable too much of an effort. After months of being patient and understanding, she had had enough and it was time for David to accept once and for all that they were having a baby. He had been excited about the idea of fatherhood once and she had caught glimpses of that excitement in recent weeks, but the irrational fears that had made him want to postpone their original plans were still there and she was at a loss as to how to break through them.

She could see herself standing in the living room. ‘I’m tired so I’m going to bed. That’s what happens when you’re pregnant.’

By all appearances, her husband was engrossed in a TV programme and didn’t respond.

‘You can’t make me feel guilty for ever, David,’ she said as her parting shot.

Her remark hit its target and he turned to face her. ‘I don’t want you to.’

‘Then what do you want?’

The pained look on his face softened and there was a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. ‘You’ll see.’

His smile had done nothing to improve Jo’s mood and she had stomped upstairs to bed without a second glance, unwilling to engage in a game of cat and mouse. But that was exactly what it felt like now and David’s last words cut into her heart like jagged claws.

You’ll see.

What did that mean? Was he trying to prove something and if so, why be so cruel?

When the phone rang, jolting her back to the present, the rush of adrenalin made Jo’s heart thump painfully against her chest.

‘Hello?’ Her voice shook and by the way the phone rattled against her wedding ring, so did her hand.

‘Hi Jo, it’s Jason.’

‘Hi,’ she replied, already trying to think of an answer before David’s colleague had even asked the question.

‘Erm, David was meant to be in a meeting that started ten minutes ago and we were wondering where he is.’

‘Me too.’

There was a pause: Jason was clearly thrown by the remark but then said, ‘Jo, is everything OK?’

She took a deep breath that was meant to compose her but her words still trembled. ‘I don’t know where he is, Jason. He didn’t come home last night from Leeds. Well, he didn’t come home to me. You wouldn’t know … Is there anything he said …?’

Jason and David had worked in the same office for several years and spent most of their working lives together, so if David had been planning something, he might have confided in his colleague.

‘Jesus, Jo, I’m sorry but no, I never saw this coming. You think he’s left you?’

So far the only person Jo had told was her sister, but if David had left then she would have to face that particular shame at some point. Not just yet though, and not with someone she barely knew. ‘I don’t know. What other explanation is there?’

Before Jason had a chance to come up with his own theories, Jo quickly continued, ‘Look, Jason, I don’t know what’s happened yet, but it looks like he’s not coming into work either. I’ll put in a request for emergency leave on his behalf and hope that he gets in touch soon. In the meantime, if you hear anything – the minute you hear anything – promise me you’ll let me know.’

‘Of course, Jo. Of course I will.’

Unwittingly, Jason had forced Jo to accept that David wasn’t going to show up any time soon, and the sense of despair was crushing – but a sudden spark of anger kept Jo’s mind focused enough to write the email to cover her errant husband’s absence. If David was doing this deliberately, then he was going to feel her wrath. As soon as she pressed send, Jo picked up the phone again. She had no idea what she was going to say beyond the opening line.

‘Hi, Irene. It’s Jo.’

Her mother-in-law wasn’t used to receiving calls from her daughter-in-law without good reason, especially not at ten o’clock in the morning on a weekday, so she was immediately on the alert. ‘Hi, Jo. Is everything all right?’ she asked.

Irene was in her late fifties and had devoted much of her life to being a wife and mother. The sense of purpose that came with the role had diminished once her boys had left home and then disappeared completely when her husband had died. Her grief had eased over the last two years but it was the change in circumstance that continued to affect her deeply. She was searching for a new role in her family’s life but had lost confidence and needed constant reassurance from her sons, which frustrated Jo because she knew her mother-in-law was far more capable than she gave herself credit for.

When Jo didn’t answer her quickly enough, Irene added, ‘Is the baby OK?’

‘Fine,’ Jo said, momentarily taken aback. She had become attuned to her baby’s movements and normally kept track of them throughout the day but since leaving the house the only time she had thought about little FB had been to consider the role it played in her husband’s disappearance. These were not pleasant thoughts. ‘I was looking for David.’

Irene took a moment to respond as if she didn’t quite understand the question. ‘But why would he be here?’

Jo was finding it hard to breathe. The last shred of hope had been viciously snuffed out by Irene’s gentle words. She gulped for air. ‘He didn’t come home last night. I don’t know where he is.’

‘Have you phoned the police?’ Irene’s soft voice had developed a distinct wobble.

‘No,’ Jo said as if she was pleading with Irene not to open a door that would allow a pack of wolves to rush in and tear her life apart.

‘Are you at home? I’ll come over.’

‘No, I’m at work.’

Irene spluttered her reply as if she couldn’t quite comprehend what she was hearing. ‘He could be lying in a ditch somewhere and you’ve gone to work?’

Jo put a hand over her face, rubbing her forehead then massaging her temples as she tried to push that particular scenario from her thoughts. It was an impossible task. ‘I didn’t know what to do, what to think. I was hoping that, wherever he’d stayed last night, he would turn up here today.’

‘Oh my God, I feel sick. He wouldn’t disappear without telling you, without telling me. What’s happened to him, Jo? Where’s my son?’

Jo pursed her lips as she considered telling Irene about the missing passport but Irene would snatch at the ray of hope in a way that Jo couldn’t; he wasn’t abandoning his mother, only his wife. Before she could say anything, Irene made the decision Jo had been putting off. ‘The police have to be told. I’ll do it.’

‘No, I will,’ Jo said quickly. She had already looked up the number for the local police station and knew it by heart now. Her fingers played with the buttons on the telephone base as she imagined making the call that terrified her most.

Glancing up, Jo caught Kelly watching her from the open-plan office. She had twisted her seat around so that she could keep Jo in her sights. They made eye contact and Kelly quickly looked away. A second later, Gary appeared in front of her office and was reaching for the door handle.

‘I’ll do it from home, Irene.’

‘When, Jo? You can’t leave it until tonight.’

‘No, I’ll go home now,’ she said as Gary stepped through the door.

He waited for Jo to finish her call and then said, ‘What’s going on Jo? I’ve had a call asking me what to do about a certain member of staff going AWOL.’

For a moment, Jo didn’t know what to say, then blurted out, ‘David didn’t come home last night.’ She paused, and looked searchingly at his face, as though her mentor and friend could provide answers, but he looked dumbstruck. ‘Is it all right if I go home?’

Gary’s eyes narrowed as he considered his reply. She knew how his mind worked. He wouldn’t be wondering whether or not to agree to her request but deciding whether to say yes and take a step back until Jo was ready to talk, or probe a little further. ‘Take the rest of the week off if needs be,’ he said at last. ‘I’ll work with Kelly to reorganize your diary but phone me if you need anything or if you think you’ll need more time off next week.’

‘Thanks, Gary,’ Jo said, trying not think of the possible reasons why she would need more leave the following week.

She held her composure, but only until Gary had left the office. She started swallowing back air in desperate gulps as she scrambled for her mobile and dialled. Tears stung her eyes as she waited impatiently for the recorded voice to stop prattling on so she could leave a message. ‘I don’t know where you are but you’re scaring me, David,’ she said. Her fingers dug into the hard, uncompromising plastic of the phone that refused to let her make contact with her husband. She released a sob of frustration. ‘I love you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything and I’ll do whatever it takes to put things right.’ She looked down at her bump. ‘Anything. Just come home. Oh God, please come home, David. I love you so much and this is killing me!’

She hung up and held her breath, refusing to let the tears fall, but when she tried to stand, she was hit by a wave of dizziness that turned her legs to jelly and then they buckled. Collapsing back on to her chair, Jo bent over and tried to put her head between her legs or as near as her pregnancy would allow. She thought she heard the door opening again but the sound was all but drowned out by the whooshing of the rising blood pressure inside her head. After a few minutes she sat up to find Kelly standing there.

‘I’m here to make sure you go home. Gary’s orders,’ she said.

‘I’m going,’ Jo agreed and was thankful that her training was finally paying off. Kelly didn’t ask any more questions.

6

There was no warm glow to greet Jo this time when she turned into Beaumont Avenue. The incessant rain had beaten the golden carpet of autumn leaves into a sodden brown mulch, but on a positive note, the bad weather had forced Jo to concentrate on the road, giving her brain a temporary reprieve from thoughts which would otherwise paralyze her with fear. But she couldn’t escape them for ever and as she pulled into the drive she knew she was about to face her fears head on. A familiar car was parked outside the house and through its steamed up windows she had spotted Irene and David’s brother Steve.

‘Any news?’ Irene asked, already at the side of the car as Jo opened the door.

Jo shook her head. ‘Let’s get in out of the rain.’

The house felt empty and abandoned despite the stampede of footsteps and flutter of coats that dripped puddles on the hallway floor. It was almost eleven but the daylight refused to step over the doorway and lights were flicked on as they trudged into the kitchen where Jo switched on the heating and then the kettle.

So far no one had broken the silence. Her in-laws had only just entered this nightmare but already had that same haunted expression Jo had seen reflected in her bathroom mirror. She wondered if they too had convinced themselves that their worst fears wouldn’t be realized unless they were spoken aloud.

‘Coffee OK for everyone?’ Jo asked. ‘I’m afraid it’s only decaf.’

Two heads nodded. Steve had taken a seat at the dining table but Irene stayed close. While Jo absorbed herself in lining up three mugs in a perfectly straight line, each one equidistant and with handles pointing to the right, Irene found the teabags.

‘So it’s tea then?’ Jo asked.

‘Hot, sweet, tea. That’s what’s needed,’ Irene said.

Jo considered reminding Irene that she had stopped drinking caffeine while she was pregnant and that included tea but it didn’t seem so important any more and the two women continued the seemingly complicated task of making the drinks without another word.

When Jo passed a mug to Steve she couldn’t look at him. He was younger than David by a couple of years but he had the same bright blue eyes. His deep brown hair was cropped in a similar style too, long enough to run your fingers through but only just. David’s features were perhaps a little rounder and the dimple on his chin more pronounced. Of the two, Steve was arguably the more attractive but where Steve was the charmer, David was the joker who could raise a smile in the darkest of hours and right now that was what they were all missing.

‘So when exactly did you see him last, Jo?’ Steve asked, as the silence became too much to bear.

Guilt leaked warmth across Jo’s cheeks as her mind replayed the moment David had leaned over to kiss her goodbye while his stubborn wife feigned sleep. ‘He left for Leeds early yesterday for a training course. He texted to say he was on the train home and it was due in at Lime Street around seven. The battery on his phone was running out so we didn’t talk and – and I didn’t hear from him after that. He was going to get another train to West Allerton but I’ve no idea if he did … I don’t know where he went … I don’t know where he is.’

‘I haven’t seen Dave since the weekend but he seemed OK to me. I’ve checked with all our mates and no one else has seen him either,’ Steve said, answering the question that Jo hadn’t asked. ‘And I’ve tried phoning him, but no luck.’

‘Something’s happened to him,’ Irene said in a tone that wouldn’t be denied. ‘I know you’re scared but I can’t believe you didn’t phone the police last night. They should already be looking for him. You need to phone them, Jo. Now!’

Jo’s body was so tense that she was barely able to nod, but when she saw Irene reaching for the phone, she quickly said, ‘I’ll phone from the living room.’ She didn’t want anyone listening in when she confessed to the police that she had misplaced her husband, but as she slipped out of the room Irene was right behind her.

Jo stared down at the phone standing to attention in its cradle while her hands wrapped tightly around her mug of tea which she was loath to put down.

It was Irene who eventually picked up the phone, but even she seemed frightened to hold it and quickly offered it to Jo. ‘Do you know the number for the local station or should we just dial 999?’

‘I’ve got the number.’

Jo pressed each memorized digit slowly and deliberately. It was delaying the inevitable, but unlike the fruitless calls to David, this call was answered almost immediately.

To her surprise, Jo’s concerns weren’t instantly dismissed although she did have to explain her situation three times before she was put through to a Detective Sergeant Baxter who made a formal record of her call. She spent much of the call reassuring the police officer that her husband was bound to turn up eventually. In fact if Irene hadn’t been standing next to her, leaning in so close that Jo had to fight the urge to push her away, she might have asked him to close the enquiry there and then. DS Baxter agreed that in all probability David would return of his own accord, but in the meantime he took down all the relevant details.

As well as the basic information about David and his last known movements, DS Baxter asked Jo some necessary but intrusive questions about the state of her husband’s mind, their marriage and any particular stress points in their lives. Her answers weren’t as open as they could have been, not with Irene listening to every tremulous word that reverberated in Jo’s mind like a nail being driven into a coffin. The best she could hope for was that the casket contained her marriage and not her husband.

‘He’s taken his passport?’ Irene asked when Jo replaced the receiver.

Jo nodded.

The sigh of relief was accompanied by a ‘Thank God,’ but when she saw the look of dismay on Jo’s face, Irene added, ‘Sorry, I just mean it’s a possible explanation. However irresponsible and – I can’t believe I’m saying this of David – however heartless it would be of him, it’s better than considering what else could have happened. But I can tell you this much, Jo, he’ll be getting a piece of my mind when he does come home.’ Irene sighed and shook her head. ‘But right now I’d—’

‘Forgive him anything?’ Jo offered in complete agreement.

‘Are they sending someone round?’

‘Yes, later on this evening, assuming we still haven’t heard anything, and I’ve got a number to ring if David does show up.’

‘Right,’ Irene said, nodding her head, letting the news sink in.

Jo had been dreading the call, afraid that the police would simply dismiss her concerns but terrified that they would convince her that something bad had happened. What DS Baxter had actually told her was that they would be taking David’s disappearance seriously, but to hold out hope that the call had been unnecessary. She should have felt relieved but instead she felt a crushing sense of anti-climax. What was she meant to do now? David was still missing, now it was simply official. She couldn’t move forwards and she couldn’t travel back in time; she was caught in limbo.

Irene took Jo by the arm and led her back into the kitchen. ‘I’ll make us another cuppa,’ she said.

Jo didn’t argue when Irene yanked a half-full mug of tea from her grasp – her mother-in-law clearly needed to keep busy, and if making a fresh brew that no one wanted was Irene’s way of coping then so be it. They would all have to find their own ways of coping over the next hours, days or, God forbid, longer.

Turning her attention to another of Irene’s errant sons, Jo asked, ‘Where’s Steve?’

‘I heard him go upstairs; he probably nipped to the loo.’

When Jo stepped into the hallway, she stopped to listen. There were no signs of life and judging from the grey light glancing off the walls on the landing the bathroom door was ajar. There was only a slight hesitation before she began to climb the stairs. She might have to accept that very soon every inch of her life would be scrutinized but this was still her house and no one, especially Steve, had the right to poke his nose in her life.

Jo didn’t trust her brother-in-law at the best of times. Steve had relied on his charm a little too much to get him through life. The twinkle in his eye which said ‘I know you want me,’ had fooled some women but not Jo. She preferred the brother with the mischievous smile and eyes that simply said, ‘want me.’ And she had wanted him. She still did.

However, despite their differences, the two brothers were as thick as thieves, as David had proved some five and a half months ago. A picture formed in her mind of David in the living room. April sunshine streamed through the window, warming his face and softening the frown furrowing his brow.

‘I can’t believe you’ve just done that,’ she had stammered, looking from her husband’s face to the phone still in his hand.

He ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. ‘What did you expect me to say?’

‘I don’t know, David. Perhaps tell Sally the truth?’

‘He’s my brother, Jo.’

‘And I suppose Sally is only his wife,’ Jo concluded.

‘She phoned on the pretext of offering me and Steve a lift on Saturday but you know as well as I do that she was only checking up on him. And I didn’t lie; I will be with Steve and I’m happy to be the designated driver.’

‘But unless I’m very much mistaken, you’ve been designated to drive to the races, not the golf course,’ Jo said as she continued to glare. ‘Why the lie?’

‘You know what Sally’s like. She’s counting the pennies and wouldn’t approve of him throwing money away on the horses.’

‘Counting the pennies so she’s not left destitute when Steve leaves her high and dry,’ Jo countered. She watched David draw a breath and knew what he was going to say so added, ‘And yes, he would do that. You know it’s only a matter of time before their marriage disintegrates and you’re not helping.’

‘He’s my brother, Jo,’ David said again.

‘And you’d cover his back no matter what.’

‘Yes, I would.’

‘Including lying to his wife?’

‘Well, yes, if I was forced to.’

‘And would he do the same for you?’

‘Yes!’ David said with a passion that vanished once he saw Jo’s eyes widen. ‘I mean, no! There’s nothing I’d ever do that would ever, ever require Steve to lie for me. Not ever, Jo.’

He was half-laughing while Jo remained grim-faced. She had cornered him on purpose so she could enjoy watching him squirm, but her thoughts had been drawn to her own deceit. She was feeling distinctly uncomfortable and didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t exactly lied to David. She had told him she was getting impatient to start a family and he knew her well enough to know that she would take matters into her own hands. If he asked, of course she would tell him she had come off the pill. If he asked …

‘You are the most important person in my life, Jo,’ David continued. ‘More important than any other living being, including myself.’

Jo caught the twinkle in his eye that dared her to want him. Resuming their game, she glowered back.

Unabashed, David turned his attention to the mantelpiece, his eye drawn to the long silver tray holding three church candles of varying heights. He reached over and nudged the tray off-centre then looked back for Jo’s response. He was going for her Achilles heel.

Jo’s eyes narrowed as her discomfort returned, only this time it was caused by three blocks of wax that were out of alignment.

He pushed the tray an inch further and her patience along with it.

‘Stop it,’ she warned, but a smile was now pulling at the corners of her mouth.

‘Come here and say that.’

The memory was strong enough to bring another smile to Jo’s lips as she reached the top of the stairs. They had enjoyed making up after the fight and if Jo wasn’t very much mistaken, it had been the night she had conceived. David’s art of seduction may not have been textbook, but it had worked. Refocusing on the present, her smile faltered and when her stomach lurched she did her best to ignore her baby’s kick. She had been the first to breach the trust in their relationship, so wouldn’t David be justified in breaking it completely? Would there be any making up this time or had he had enough? Was he using his unconventional powers of seduction on someone else at that very moment? Unwilling to contemplate the answer, Jo concentrated her mind on the brother she could hear scuttling around in the study.

‘What the hell?’ she began, leaving it to Steve to finish that particular statement. He had heard the door opening and was jumping back from the desk even as she entered the room.

‘That was quick! Did you phone the police? Any news?’

‘Not really, they’re sending someone round later,’ Jo replied but wouldn’t be distracted. ‘So?’

‘I thought there might be something here, some clue to suggest he’s gone away of his own accord. Have you checked the wardrobes? Is anything missing?’

‘You mean you haven’t gone through my knickers drawer yet?’ she asked, raising an eyebrow. The comment broke the tension and she relaxed a little. ‘I’ve done this already, Steve, and no, nothing is missing.’ She held back from telling him about the passport because the last thing she needed was someone else rejoicing at the possibility that David had deserted her. She still couldn’t believe it of him, not really, and yet she wouldn’t consider anything else. Her eyes darted to the world map that was David’s pride and joy as if it could provide the answers. It covered almost one entire wall and was peppered with a dozen green pins marking all the places they had been and a scattering of red ones to pinpoint destinations that David still planned to visit. The pin piercing the ‘San’ in San Francisco burned red, searing Jo’s conscience.

‘I’ve gone through every drawer, every file, even the ones on his computer but there’s nothing.’

Steve shook his head. ‘There must be something.’

‘I know everything there is to know about David.’ The statement was meant to give her courage but instead it knocked Jo off kilter. They lived and worked together but there was a healthy degree of separation too. Right now it felt like a chasm. ‘Or at least I thought I did.’