Kitabı oku: «The Lone Wolf's Craving»
Dear Reader
Changes in life. We all go through them. Some of those changes make us stronger … and some of them have the power to bring us to our knees. The hero and heroine in THE LONE WOLF’S CRAVING, part two of the Men of Honour duet, are both going through such a change. They each struggle with the realisation that their lives will be forever altered as a result. They must make a choice: accept what the future holds and move forward, or rail against fate and remain trapped in a vicious cycle of anger and bitterness.
Thank you for joining Luke and Kate as they face the heartbreak that comes with change and search for the courage to overcome. Best of all—they find love along the way. I hope you enjoy reading about their journey as much as I enjoyed writing about it!
Much love
Tina Beckett
Born to a family that was always on the move, TINA BECKETT learned to pack a suitcase almost before she knew how to tie her shoes. Fortunately she met a man who also loved to travel, and she snapped him right up. Married for over twenty years, Tina has three wonderful children and has lived in gorgeous places such as Portugal and Brazil.
Living where English reading material is difficult to find has its drawbacks, however. Tina had to come up with creative ways to satisfy her love for romance novels, so she picked up her pen and tried writing one. After her tenth book she realised she was hooked. She was officially a writer.
A three-times Golden Heart finalist, and fluent in Portuguese, Tina now divides her time between the United States and Brazil. She loves to use exotic locales as the backdrop for many of her stories. When she’s not writing you can find her either on horseback or soldering stained-glass panels for her home.
Tina loves to hear from readers. You can contact her through her website or ‘friend’ her on Facebook.
The Lone Wolf’s Craving
Tina Beckett
Dedication:
To those who have faced life-altering events. May you always find the strength to face the future.
Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
EPILOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
HAD SHE FIGURED out who he was before or after she’d had sex with him?
Because Dr. Lucas Blackman sure as hell hadn’t known the petite blonde American wandering around his emergency room was his wartime hero’s long-lost daughter. Not when he’d pressed her against the wall in the supply closet and buried himself inside her. Not after it was over. In fact, she’d disappeared as quickly as she’d come.
He groaned at the unintended pun. And then again as memories of his actions yesterday washed over him: the snick of the lock; the fumbling with clothing; along with every second of pounding urgency that had happened afterward. Damn it if he wouldn’t do it all over again, even knowing what he did now. That she’d probably used him to get what she’d wanted.
Not that he’d been the slightest bit hesitant at the time.
And that memory made his already sucky day even suckier. Walking to the physical therapy center to see how his friend was doing, and seeing the woman he’d had the best sex with—well, in a long damn time—standing beside him sent shock waves rolling through him that rooted him to the spot. Nick introducing her to one of the therapists as his daughter just made it that much worse.
He decided to back away while he still could.
Then her eyes met his and flitted away, making a painless getaway impossible. He could swear he saw a trace of guilt in the deep blue depths. At what? Their naughty rendezvous? At having coffee with him for the last two mornings, all the while being coy and secretive about her reasons for visiting the hospital?
Nick spied him, calling him over just as the therapist disappeared back into the rehabilitation center. His friend winced slightly as he rotated his upper body, his surgery site evidently still tender. “Come and meet Kate—er, Katherine.” His friend glanced at her in question. “My daughter.”
“Kate,” she answered in the same low Southern drawl that had drawn him like a moth to a flame. First in the hospital cafeteria. Then in the tiny supply closet. He could still her soft moans as he’d taken her. Who knew a drawl during sex could be so damned hot. She’d reminded him of warm lazy summers by the lake, of county fairs and high school football games.
All things American.
He’d been homesick yesterday and devastated after losing a patient in the E.R., and there she’d been. As if sent just to ease his pain. And she had. She’d sent him right over the edge.
And she was his hero’s daughter. The man who’d once saved his life. His daughter!
Hell, today had officially taken a nosedive.
He moved closer and held out his hand, forcing her to do the polite thing and take it. When she tried for a quick grip and release, he curled his fingers around hers and held on, his thumb gliding over her soft skin.
Where do you think you’re going, Miss Kate? No running away for you. Not this time.
She’d taken off out of that supply closet like a bat out of hell. Before he’d even finished catching his breath. Just like Cinderella. Only she hadn’t left a shoe behind. Just a pair of lacy panties, which he’d shoved into the pocket of his slacks before heading out the door. By then she had been long gone.
“Yes, Kate and I have already been...” he let his deliberate pause and raised brows get his message across, before completing the phrase “...thoroughly introduced.”
Her soft gasp said his inference had hit its mark.
Nick glanced from one to the other. “You have? When?”
“Yesterday,” she said, stretching the truth. Luke released her hand, watching as she took one step back, and then another. “I was looking for your room and he...helped me.”
Helped her.
Oh, he’d helped her all right. Right up onto the scrub sink in the corner of the tiny closet. After he’d hiked her skirt up around her waist. He swallowed. What had happened after that was a blur.
One he’d never forget for as long as he lived.
A muscle in his jaw clenched as he stared at her and said, “I didn’t know who you were at the time.”
“I—I know. And I’m sorry. I should have said something.”
So she had known he was Nick’s doctor, and probably that they were friends, as well. A wave of disappointment washed over him. He should be used to it by now. The “being used” part, that was. His mother hadn’t thought twice about using him to collect her monthly welfare checks, all the while earning a small fortune on the side by sleeping with other men. His father hadn’t hesitated before sending him into a store to pick up a thing or two—without paying for it, of course.
And now Kate.
As cynical as Luke thought he was, he hadn’t managed to see past those baby blues to the person beneath her melt-in-your-mouth sweetness.
And, damn, had she ever melted. The second his lips had met hers.
He hardened everything that wasn’t already hard. “Yes. You should have.”
She hadn’t been in the cafeteria this morning, like she had the past couple of mornings, so he’d assumed he’d never see her again. Yet here she was. All twitchy and apologetic. And the only thing he wanted to do was yank her out of the room and find that closet all over again.
Not going to happen.
Nick stretched his back. “Well, I should probably head in to my physical therapy session.”
That was his cue to leave. “And I have some patients to see so, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll head back.”
“Wait! I want to...”
When he turned his head to look at her, Kate’s teeth were digging into that delectable lower lip, as if trying to keep the rest of her sentence from coming out in a rush.
She glanced at Nick. “I’ll come back when you’re finished with therapy, if that’s okay.”
“Of course.” The other man touched her arm. “It was good to finally meet you in person.”
Well, Luke wasn’t the only sucker, it would appear. She’d had his savior fooled, as well.
By the time he realized she meant to follow him down the hallway, it was too late to stop her. So as soon as they were a safe distance away, he turned to face her, propping one shoulder against the long narrow wall in the hallway to take some of the pressure off his now aching leg.
Pale silky hair, with just the slightest hint of a wave, fell over her shoulders, caressing her collarbone with every turn of her head. He remembered licking along that very spot.
He forced his gaze back to her eyes. “Yes?”
“I...I wanted explain.” Her words tumbled over themselves. “I don’t normally... I don’t ever...” The flourish of a hand finished her thought.
She didn’t normally sneak off and “do” her father’s doctors?
“And you think I should know this because...?”
“I don’t want you to think badly of me.” Her hands caught each other, fingers twisting together.
She was nervous. Embarrassed by what they’d done. He stood upright before the realization could affect him. “I don’t really even know you, so why does it matter?”
She flinched. “I guess it doesn’t. But you’re Ni—my father’s doctor. I’d rather you didn’t say anything to him about yesterday.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re not going to tell him?”
“I’m not Nick’s doctor. Not anymore.”
Her breath hissed out. “So you are going to tell him...about us?”
And risk being shipped home to the States on the first available flight out of London? Not likely. He’d fought too hard to get this position. “No, I’m not going to tell him.”
“Thank you.” Her whole body went slack with relief. “I appreciate it. How’s he doing, by the way? Was the surgery a success?”
That same feeling of unease washed over him. Surely she didn’t think their time together had been a game-changer? “I’m afraid I can’t give out that kind of information.”
“But I’m his daughter.”
“You’re not listed as his next of kin.”
“Because I’ve only just met the man.”
And Luke had just barely met her. That hadn’t stopped her from wrapping her legs around his waist. And it certainly wasn’t keeping him from wanting to relive that moment...a whole lot slower this time. Definitely not something he wanted her to know.
“That’s not my problem.”
“Okay, I get it. You can’t give me any details. But his life isn’t in danger anymore, right?”
Luke made a tsk noise low in his throat, trying to keep his irritation from showing. The feeling of being used grew at her persistence. “Get him to add you to his list of relatives, and then we’ll talk.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Oh, but I am.” Despite his annoyance, his fingers itched to brush across that smooth, pale cheek and watch it come to life beneath his touch. Except he knew her skin wasn’t the only thing that would come to life. Something else he didn’t want her to realize.
“So, if he’ll admit to being my father—in writing—you can tell me what’s going on?”
He inclined his head. “It’s a start. As long as he’s okay with it.” He held up a hand. “Which also has to be in writing.”
Her lips thinned. “And if he refuses?”
“Then I can’t tell you a blessed thing. Now, if you’ll excuse me...”
She hesitated, her mouth opening as if ready to argue further, then she snapped it shut again, hitching her purse higher on her shoulder. “If that’s the way you want it.”
“I don’t make the rules.”
But he sure didn’t mind breaking them. Hadn’t he already proved that in the supply closet?
“Of course you don’t.”
He couldn’t prevent the twitch of his lips at her waspish tone. She might be all peaches and cream on the surface, but underneath she had all the fire of a good Indian curry. You didn’t notice it until the first three or four bites, but your tongue remembered the flavor long after you’d finished your meal.
Just like he’d remember the flavor of Kate’s lips.
She blinked then swung away from him, preparing to walk back toward the physical therapy center.
For some reason he couldn’t let her slip away without making her squirm one last time. “Oh, Kate, I almost forgot.”
She turned back toward him. “Yes?”
He gave her a slow, wolfish smile. “I still have your panties.”
* * *
He had her panties.
What had he expected her to do about it? Hold out her hand and demand he give them back to her right there at the hospital?
Kate ran her wrists under the cool stream of water in her hotel room, hoping to soothe her burning skin. It did no good.
God. What had she been thinking? Men like Dr. Luke Blackman were so far out of her league.
What did she do now? Call and make an appointment to pick up her errant piece of clothing? Or did he plan to keep them as a trophy?
And just where did he have them? At home? In his desk drawer? Above the deep sink with the words Kate was nailed here penned beneath them?
She held her wet hands to her cheeks and stared into the mirror, remembering the feel of his fingers on her skin as he’d yanked those very panties down her thighs...his eyes never leaving hers. Then he’d tossed them aside and reached for her hips...lifted her onto the sink.
A wave of heat rushed over her body. Kate had never in her life experienced anything so frighteningly sensual in her life. It had all been over in a matter of minutes. But she knew instinctively she’d never experience anything like that ever again.
She stared into the eyes reflected back at her.
She didn’t look any different on the outside. Not a single scorch mark lingered on her skin, although she could still feel each and every place his lips had lingered.
Little had she known all those months ago that the picture and accompanying letter she’d found in a shoebox in her mother’s closet—along with letters from scores of other men—would lead her to discover that the father she’d grown up with wasn’t her biological father. Or that all her pent-up anger and frustration over the lies by those closest to her would build to the point that it had sought release—no matter what the source.
Luke had been the only person handy at the time.
She’d exploded all right. In a most delicious way.
And now she had to live with the consequences. At least, the emotional ones. Luke had taken care of the physical ones, muttering about the need for birth control, even though her mind hadn’t exactly been up to the subject of unwanted pregnancies.
But thank heavens he’d taken precautions. Luke wouldn’t need to disappear from his kid’s life without a trace, like Nick had. And Kate wouldn’t have to lie to her own child about his or her origins—about who its father was. Her eyes moistened. She wouldn’t have to die—like her mother had—in order for her child to know the truth.
And most important of all, the only person in the entire world who’d have to live with the consequences of what she’d done in that supply closet...was herself.
CHAPTER TWO
“SHE HATES ME.”
Perched on one of the chairs that lined the glass wall of the therapy center, Nick’s bald statement took him by surprise. Luke didn’t have to ask who his friend was referring to.
“No, she doesn’t. When she was here yesterday, she seemed...worried.” That was as good a word as any.
His friend’s jaw tightened. “I wish I could believe that. That’s not the vibe she was giving off when I met her.”
“It’s a shock, I’m sure. You said she only learned about your existence a month ago, after she found a picture?”
“That’s what she said.” Nick scrubbed a hand over his head, making his hair stick up at odd angles. “I had a fling with a tourist just before I shipped out with my unit. She’d taken some pictures of us with her camera over the course of the evening. Large quantities of alcohol were involved, so I’m a bit fuzzy on all the details. Anyway, I left her a note the next day before I headed out. I had no idea the woman had got pregnant that night until much later.”
“You’ve had contact with the woman?”
“Not since that day. Kate says she died six months ago.” Something flashed through his eyes. Regret?
“And she’s just now decided to find you?”
He gave a hard laugh. “She found the picture and my note stuffed in a shoebox. She got the bloke who raised her to admit he wasn’t her real father.” One shoulder went up. “She came looking for me at the house while I was in the hospital. Nearly ruined things for me and Tiggy in the process.”
“Ouch.” Kate did seem to have the ability to stir up trouble wherever she went. He hadn’t slept much for the past two nights. “Things are okay between you and your wife now, though?”
Nick nodded, a smile curving his lips. “She’s pregnant. I never thought I’d want kids, and now I find I have a grown daughter as well as a baby on the way.”
“Congratulations!”
“I guess.”
“Come on, Nick. What more could you ask for?”
“I could ask for my daughter to give me a chance.”
“I’m sure she’ll come round. She asked how you were doing. I couldn’t tell her anything because of patient confidentiality.” He paused. “Maybe I could talk to her. Tell her you’re a regular hero.”
Whoa, why the hell had he offered to do that? Being around Kate was not good for his equilibrium, especially now.
“I’m not a hero. Especially not in her eyes.”
“She just doesn’t know you yet. Maybe you should tell her what you did in the service. For men like me.” Luke hated remembering his injury, how he’d had to fight his way back from the depths of despair when he’d realized his leg would never be right again. He knew he should be grateful it was still there. But on the days when it ached like nobody’s business, he wished he’d just had it lopped off and been done with it.
“I was doing my job.” His friend studied him for a moment. “If she asked you how I was doing, she must care. At least a little.”
“Of course she does.”
“What did you tell her?”
“That you had to sign off on her being your daughter first, giving the hospital permission before I could share any information.”
“That could work...”
He frowned. “I’m not sure I follow.”
“If I sign the papers, maybe you could be the one to talk to her for me, like you said. And the medical discussion could turn personal. You could feel her out.”
Well, he’d already done that. It wasn’t something he should do again if he wanted to maintain his sanity. And definitely not something he wanted to admit to Nick. The man who’d saved his leg could very well rip it back off with his bare hands if he found out what he’d done to his newfound daughter.
“You know,” Luke said slowly, “I think it might be better coming from you.”
“Didn’t you just offer to talk to her for me a few minutes ago?”
Yes, and he’d already decided that was not a good idea. “I’m thinking a father-daughter discussion might be more direct. Just tell her that you shipped out right after you were with her mother and over your years of service you saved a lot of men’s lives.”
“It would be stronger coming from a friend.” Nick cocked his head. “One of those very people I saved.”
Wow. He’d never expected Nick to play the you-owe-me card. And, in all honesty, he probably wouldn’t have now if he hadn’t offered to talk to Kate, like a damned fool. His fingers went to his leg, a familiar ache reminding him of what could have been had Nick not been there.
“Not fair.”
“I know.” His friend’s voice was low. “But I’m feeling desperate. She’s due to leave for the States in a week or two, and I want to make sure things are okay between us before she goes.”
“What do you expect me to do? Drop my pants and show her firsthand what a great job you did on my leg?”
He hadn’t even done that in the supply closet. He’d simply unzipped and...
Oh, hell. This was not a good idea.
“No pants-dropping allowed. I may have just found out she’s my daughter, but that doesn’t mean I want you coming on to her. I’ve heard about your reputation from a couple of the nurses.” His voice sharpened a bit. “You’re still a hotshot, just like you were ten years ago.”
Nick might be surprised. He wasn’t guilty of half the stuff floating around the hospital grapevine. And his physical hotshot days were long gone. He might still have the use of his leg, but he’d never be a marathon runner. Or climb the Alps. Or even carry a woman across the threshold. He’d surprised himself by actually getting Kate up onto that sink—although he could lift things just fine, it was walking and lifting together that did him in.
Luckily, he wouldn’t have to fess up to what had happened between him and Kate, because that was obviously not something Nick would be thrilled to hear. And Kate didn’t want Nick knowing either, judging by her quiet plea in the hallway. “So you don’t want me to charm her.”
“I want you to talk to her.” Nick’s voice softened. “Tell her I’m not a bad-boy-love-’em-and-leave-’em type. Just an honest working man who made a mistake. One he regrets.”
“So you want someone who you think is a Lothario to tell your daughter you’re nothing like that.”
Nick grinned. “Exactly.”
Just then an attractive redhead dressed in scrubs came into the center and dropped a kiss on his friend’s cheek. “I thought I’d check up on you. How are you feeling?”
“Better.” He nodded at Luke. “Tiggy, you remember Dr. Blackman...Luke.”
“Of course. He’s the one who called and told me you were in the hospital.” She smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Hello again. I don’t know if I’ve ever thanked you properly for what you did. I’m very grateful.”
“I’m glad Nick still had you listed as his next of kin.”
“So am I.” She laid her hand on her husband’s shoulder. “Nick’s told me a little about how you met.”
Luke tensed, but forced himself to return her smile. “Nothing bad, I hope.”
“No, just that you came across each other while in the service. I didn’t even know that we did joint missions with the Americans.” She took her husband’s hand in hers.
So that’s what Nick had told her.
No hint that she knew about Nick yanking him from the jaws of death. Or that he’d refused to saw his leg off on the spot, like one of the other medics had wanted to do.
Luke relaxed. He may have told his friend to come clean with Kate about what he’d done in the field, but Luke himself told very few people about that day. Some of his buddies from his service days knew, but only because they’d been there when it had happened. Luke preferred it that way. Anyone who saw his scars and was brave enough to ask about them got a very watered-down version of what had actually gone down.
Hell. Nick was right. He owed the man a debt he could never repay.
Backing out of talking to Kate seemed pretty selfish in the face of it all. He made a quick decision. “About that favor you asked for. I can’t promise anything, but I’ll give it a shot. I’ll need you to sign the paperwork, so I have an excuse to approach her.”
His friend’s eyes closed for a second and he took a deep breath before looking back at him. “Thank you. I owe you.”
No. He didn’t. And that was exactly the point.
* * *
Kate frowned as she took the envelope from the man at the front desk. It couldn’t be from her father back in Memphis, he’d have simply emailed her if he couldn’t reach her. And she didn’t know anyone in London except Nick.
Oh, and one very enigmatic doctor.
And she didn’t even know him. Just that he made her pulse explode...along with other things. Things she was trying very hard to forget.
Walking toward the twin elevators, she slid a thumb beneath the seal of the envelope and popped open the tab. A single sheet of paper was inside.
Could you call me when you get in? I’m at
20-5555-6731
Thanks, Dr. Lucas Blackman
A wave of panic went through her before she realized it probably wasn’t anything related to Nick’s health. If it were, he wouldn’t have left a note. Then she gulped as she remembered his parting shot from yesterday. This couldn’t be about her panties, could it? She’d prefer he just burn them and be done with it. It was just too humiliating to talk about over the phone. Or in person, for that matter.
But if she didn’t call, she’d always wonder.
She wasn’t sure what kept her from booking a flight out of London. She’d done what she’d come to do: looked her father in the eye and drawn her own conclusions. She’d expected that to be fairly quick and easy, but nothing had gone the way she’d planned.
Nick wasn’t the type of person she’d braced herself to find. He hadn’t denied being her father—which surprised her—but then again it was kind of hard to deny the obvious. But there was something in his face that made her want to take a step back and rethink her position. Especially in the face of all those other letters she’d found in the shoebox. Did the man who’d raised her even know about those other men?
She hardened her heart. If those closest to her hadn’t thought twice about lying to her, why not the man who’d contributed nothing to her life other than his DNA?
Her mom had been trying to spare her feelings, she was sure. But surely with all her grandparents’ money, her mother would have been able to track Nick down and tell him about the pregnancy. Or about the baby, once she’d been born. So why hadn’t she?
Her mother wasn’t here to answer any of those questions. Maybe she would have told her someday, but had never gotten the chance.
Or maybe she knew something about Nick that was so terrible she hadn’t wanted her daughter to have any contact with him. Maybe Nick had...forced her, or something.
She stepped off the elevator. No, she had found the note Nick had left the next morning. He wouldn’t have done that if something bad had happened between him and her mother. And her mother certainly wouldn’t have saved a picture of them together had that been the case.
Unlocking her door, she went into her room and dropped her purse on the bed. Her suitcase was still packed, sitting on the mahogany luggage rack. She could just shut the lid and leave with everything she’d come with.
Except answers. And, of course, one pair of panties.
Ugh. She smoothed out the note and traced her finger over the bold strokes of handwriting, smiling at the typical doctorlike scribbles. Luckily she’d had to decipher many notes like these during her physical therapy training, and later, with actual patients, to understand what their doctors wanted.
There was nothing for it but to call and find out what he wanted.
She punched the number that would allow her to reach an outside line and then dialed the rest of the digits listed on the note.
“Blackman here.”
His voice sounded sharp, hurried. “Oh, I’m sorry. You left me a—”
“Kate?” His tone immediately changed. Softened. “I didn’t expect you to call so soon.”
She blinked and glanced at the note again. No time stamp. Was it possible he’d left it only a short time ago? “Oh, I...I just got in.”
“Listen, I’m swamped right now. But basically your father’s listed you as next of kin and has given me permission to fill you in, if you’ve got some free time.”
“I can be there in a half hour.”
There was a pause. “Can we do it somewhere else? I have something of yours I need to return, and I’d rather it not be at the hospital.”
If only he’d been that conscientious a couple of days ago.
And meeting him in her hotel room was out of the question. Not because she didn’t trust him but because she didn’t trust herself. If she’d have sex with him in a public hospital, what would stop her from peeling his clothes off in a private room?
“How about a restaurant?” No, not a restaurant, dummy. “I mean a coffee shop.”
“A restaurant sounds great.” He said something to someone with him then came back to her. “I’ve really got to go. I’ll pick you up when I get off. Say around six this evening.”
“Oh, um...”
“Say yes, Kate.” His voice had gone all soft and gravelly, and she shivered. It was almost identical to the tone he’d used in the supply room. Do you want this, Kate?
She had. She’d said the word that had unleashed them both. And damn if she wasn’t about to say it all over again.
“Yes.”
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