Kitabı oku: «Homecoming Day»
“Seth, what exactly is our relationship?”
Laura looked at him, trying to get an answer. “I mean, for the last month I’ve seen you almost every day. I don’t know—”
He cut off her sentence by kissing her. Not some platonic buss on the cheek, or even a friendly kiss on the lips.
This one spoke of attraction and a hunger that Laura suddenly felt keenly. Or maybe it wasn’t that sudden.
Maybe she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge that she’d felt something more than friendship for Seth for a while. It had been so long since she’d been held like this. Her lips pressing his. Soon it wasn’t a tentative exploration, but a deeply passionate awakening….
Dear Reader,
I have always been a reader. I tell people that I was raised by Tolkien, Lewis, Heinlein and McCaffrey, and I’m only half kidding. Their stories—along with so many others—have taught me so much about acceptance and faith…about love. Living my life without reading? I’d miss so much.
That’s why my character JT’s functional illiteracy was so compelling to me. According to the National Right to Read Foundation, “42 million American adults can’t read at all and 20 percent of high school seniors can be classified as being functionally illiterate at the time they graduate.” As a writer, I find these figures tragic; as a lifelong reader, I think they are a crime. And eHarlequin.com feels the same way. They have a book challenge on their website that benefits the National Center for Family Literacy. I’m thrilled to work with a publisher that promotes literacy in such a concrete way.
Despite that heavy subject, the real theme of the story is that life gives second chances…and sometimes so does love.
The last thing Laura Watson is looking for is love. She’s lost her fiancé, had his baby…she just wants peace. But when Seth Keller comes into her life, she finds love. So does he, and he’s not looking for it either. But finding love and embracing it are two different things. It takes a certain strength. And that’s the question for both Laura and Seth. Are they strong enough to take a chance on love again?
I hope you enjoy their journey!
Holly Jacobs
Homecoming Day
Holly Jacobs
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
In 2000 Holly Jacobs sold her first book to Harlequin Enterprises. She’s since sold more than twenty-five novels to the publisher. Her romances have won numerous awards and made the Waldenbooks bestseller list. In 2005 Holly won a prestigious Career Achievement Award from RT Book Reviews. In her nonwriting life Holly is married to a police captain, and together they have four children. Visit Holly at www.HollyJacobs.com, or you can snail-mail her at P.O. Box 11102, Erie, PA 16514-1102.
To all my friends on the eHarlequin Boards,
Twitter and Facebook…you all give me glee!
And a special thanks to Lisa,
forwarder of nice reviews and great French translations!
CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
EPILOGUE
PROLOGUE
LAURA WATSON WATCHED the monitor.
The staff had long since turned down the volume, but she could still see the numbers rise and fall on the screen over Jay’s head. Blood pressure. Heart rate. Those numbers should have been comforting. They meant Jay was still here with her.
But she knew those numbers were a lie. Despite the fact that Jay’s heart was beating, he was gone.
His mother and father stood on the other side of the bed, their faces as ashen as Laura suspected her own was. His mother clutched his unmoving hand.
“We need to honor…” Laura’s voice broke. She took a moment and tried again. “We need to honor Jay’s wishes.”
They were the hardest words that Laura had ever said. But she knew it was the right thing to do. It was what Jay would have wanted. It was what he made her promise.
Not that he’d planned this.
Jay was a cop and even in a small city like Erie, Pennsylvania, there was always a chance that he’d end up here in a hospital and this decision would be on her shoulders.
As they’d planned their future, planned their wedding, they’d discussed everything, including this possibility. Jay didn’t want to linger, held to this life by machines.
But, despite all their conversations about the future, they hadn’t envisioned this, because it wasn’t a bullet that put Jay here. It was bacterial meningitis. Jay wasn’t laid low in the line of duty, but by a tiny bacterium.
“He’s not coming back,” Laura said. “The doctors were clear.”
Even if his body could survive this illness, his mind was gone and he’d never be Jay again.
They’d never be married. Their June wedding, only two weeks away, would never happen. No minister would ever pronounce them husband and wife. Jay would never know this child.
Laura’s hands rested on her still-flat stomach. And this baby would never know its father.
The thought was a physical pain that tore at her.
She remembered the night she told him about her suspicions. They were engaged and already planning a fall wedding, but she’d still felt nervous, afraid that he’d be unhappy about a baby coming so soon.
She remembered his whoop of joy as he’d hurried across the room, scooped her up and swung her around in his excitement.
She remembered his moment of concern as he realized he was swinging around a pregnant woman.
She remembered his tender kiss and his assurances that this baby was welcome, wanted and was already loved. He’d been the one who’d urged her to push the wedding forward. He’d held her and whispered that he loved her and their child so much, he couldn’t wait until fall.
The memory burned brightly. Tears streamed down her face. She’d fallen in love with Jay all over again. That’s how it was with Jay. Every time she thought she loved him as much as humanly possible, he’d do something that would make that love grow exponentially.
“I hope she’s beautiful like her mom, both inside and out. Blond hair and blue eyes,” he’d whispered. “Smart, creative, sweet…” He’d kissed her cheek after each descriptive word, as if punctuating it.
She touched her cheek, willing herself to feel the imprint of his lips there, but it had long since gone cold.
Now, weeks later, she looked at Jay’s parents, her unborn baby’s only grandparents. Since she and Jay weren’t married yet, his parents were the ones who would have to sign the papers that would allow the staff to remove the life support.
“He made it clear that it’s what he wanted,” she told them gently.
Jay’s mother’s face was suddenly animated with anger. “We won’t pull the plug, Laura. You can’t ask it of us.”
“Mrs. Martin, the doctors said he’s not going to recover, knowing what his job might entail, Jay was clear—”
Adele Martin was a tiny, elfin-looking woman who’d been so much more than her fiancé’s mother or Laura’s future mother-in-law. Laura loved her. But looking at her now, so upset, Laura admitted she didn’t really know her at all. Laura was taken aback by Mrs. Martin’s rage.
“You have no idea how hard a parent will fight for a child, for a miracle,” Jay’s mother said. “I’m not giving up on my son just because you have.”
“Mrs. Martin, I haven’t given up on anything.” Nothing except her heart…her dreams. “I—”
“Get out, Laura. Go. My husband and I will look after Jay. We don’t need you here.”
Laura stared at the woman—the woman who’d asked her to call her Mom. Laura recalled laughing and telling Adele, After the wedding, when it’s official. When she’d said those words, she’d planned on a life with Jay, and his parents becoming her parents. Finally, after years of being on her own, she’d belong to someone—to a family. She could still see the fragments of that imagined future. And the knowledge that it would never happen was crushing.
Her heart broke as she pushed back the chair and stood, facing the Martins. She knew there wasn’t anything left she could do for Jay except honor this one last request and she didn’t have the power to do it. “He didn’t want this.”
She leaned down and kissed his still-warm cheek. It would be so easy to deceive herself. To watch the machine and believe its lie—believe that Jay was there and that somehow they’d still have a life together.
Filled with sorrow, she said goodbye to the family she’d hoped to belong to, then turned and walked from the room.
Laura realized that the idea of the family she’d wanted was an illusion.
But this baby growing inside her—her child and Jay’s—was the reality. And the family she’d build with the baby would be real, too.
CHAPTER ONE
LAURA WATSON COULDN’T SAY being in Erie City Hall was the last place on earth she wanted to go, but it was close. Actually, the last place was the warren of offices nestled in the back of the building.
Her long brown coat fluttered against her pants as she strode down the hall, thankful at least to be out of the November cold. Erie, Pennsylvania, was set on the edge of the Great Lake that shared its name. Winter hit early and hard as the cold Canadian air blew across the lake’s open water. She reached the police department’s door and gripped the handle a little too tightly, a little too long, before pulling the heavy door open.
She could do this.
The baby in her stomach kicked, as if in agreement, affirming that she could. Reminding her that she wasn’t alone.
Laura rested her hand on the top of her huge stomach. It now stretched her coat to its capacity. She only had four or five weeks left of her pregnancy, but already she was missing knowing that her baby would be with her always, and always safe.
She knew that life was uncertain. Once her baby was born, there were so many things that could go wrong, both physically and emotionally. She could do everything in her power to protect him or her, but in the end, her best might not be good enough.
The image of Jay in that hospital bed flashed through her mind as it had daily these last six months.
She pushed the image aside. Right now she had to focus on other things.
Laura made her way into the small anteroom. There was a counter with a glass barrier separating her from those on duty.
“Can I help you?” The woman at the desk closest to the counter got up and moved toward her.
Laura felt a wave of gratitude that she didn’t know the clerk. Maybe her luck would hold out and she wouldn’t see anyone she knew. Most of patrol would be out on the street, and she didn’t know many of the support staff. “I’m here about Jillian Thomas.”
The woman consulted a file in front of her, and then looked up at Laura. “Are you her mother?”
Laura shook her head. “No, I’m her teacher. Her mom’s on her way, but JT—Jillian—asked me to come down and wait with her. I suspect she’s afraid.”
The clerk nodded and smiled sympathetically. “I suspect that you’re right. Let me get someone to show you where she is.”
Laura noticed the wall of pictures. Fallen officers. Her stomach twisted in knots for the families they’d left behind. Jay might not have died in the line of duty, but she knew the pain of losing someone. She wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
She’d spent hours trying to remember every detail of their last night together. Jay had been on third shift, which meant he didn’t have to be into work until ten at night. They’d had dinner together. Spaghetti. She’d pulled out her wedding file and showed him her seating chart and they’d talked about the ceremony they’d advanced because of the baby. They were to be married in two weeks.
She’d told him about the doctor’s appointment that day, and they talked about going out with friends. They’d talked about childbirth and parenting classes.
A little before ten, he’d kissed her goodbye. She’d tried to remember exactly what time, but couldn’t. And the fact that she couldn’t bothered her. She knew it was probably about nine-thirty. That’s the time he generally left. But was it nine twenty-nine or nine thirty-one? She should know. She should be able to remember.
Jay had kissed her, but he’d never mentioned a headache, or not feeling well. That was the next morning when he’d come home.
That last night had been normal. A prelude of all the nights they anticipated having together.
Years. Decades worth of nights like that. Of dinners and conversations about little bits of nothing. A chance to reconnect and share their lives—even the most trivial parts—at the end of the day.
Fate had stolen her lifetime of moments with Jay.
“Miss?” A male officer with very short light brown hair and a nice smile opened the door to the right of the reception desk.
Laura felt an immediate wave of relief. She didn’t know this officer, either. He looked familiar in a vague sort of way. Maybe she’d seen him at the police picnic, or maybe she’d spotted him last April when Jay’s car had been in the shop and she’d driven him to work for a week. Or maybe she recognized him from the long line of officers who had filed into the funeral home to pay their last respects to Jay and his family. But whoever he was, he wasn’t anyone she knew. He wasn’t one of Jay’s good friends.
“Hi—” she glanced at the bars on his uniform “—Lieutenant. I’m here about Jillian Thomas.”
The officer was maybe three or four inches taller than her and the military cut of his hair might have made him look severe if it wasn’t for his eyes. They were a sort of golden-brown that softened the hard lines of his face. Right now, those eyes were staring at her, as if weighing her up, and Laura found herself wondering what he was thinking.
He didn’t say, he simply finished his assessment, nodded and said, “Right. You’re her teacher?”
“Yes. Her mom’s coming, but JT asked me to be here and wait with her. I wasn’t sure if you’d allow me to see her, or not, but I promised I’d come.”
“We don’t normally allow people to do so, other than the parents, but if you don’t tell, I won’t. This way.” He smiled as he held a door for her. “I’m Seth. Lieutenant Seth Keller.”
“Laura Watson,” she replied. His name sounded familiar, but Laura still couldn’t place it and for that, she was grateful.
“I’m the new liaison between the department and the school district,” he said, answering her unasked question, as they walked down the hall.
Laura was too distracted to really register what he was saying. She felt exposed here. Any minute, from around any corner, someone Jay knew could appear. She didn’t want to see any of his friends. Not that they weren’t kind. They were. They were so kind and considerate that there were times Laura felt she’d suffocate from it all.
She’d tried to distance herself, but the men in Jay’s group didn’t take a hint.
She never knew what she’d find coming home from school. The lawn mowed, the leaves raked, the garbage cans carried to the curb.
She didn’t even want to think about what it’d be like once the baby arrived. She’d done her best to dissuade their help, but Jay’s friends kept on despite her protests.
Thankfully, the hallway was deserted. The lieutenant showed her into a small room with a long table and a few chairs. “I have her in here, waiting for her mom.”
JT tossed the lieutenant a defiant look as they entered, then spotted Laura and surprise registered on her face. “You came?”
“Of course I did, JT.”
“I wasn’t sure you would, figured you’d track my mom down. The cops are having problems finding her. I don’t think they’re too bright,” she added, with a mock whisper.
“Why don’t I leave you two to talk,” the lieutenant said, ignoring JT’s comment.
Laura smiled at him. “Thanks.”
“Sure.” He nodded at her then shut the door behind him.
“It might be a while, Ms. Watson. Mom’s got a new boyfriend, so she’s busy.”
JT’s words might have sounded like a sneer to someone else, but Laura had been keeping an eye on the girl for weeks. There was something going on with her, and Laura wasn’t sure what. JT was smart and talented. She excelled in Laura’s art classes, at least, she did when she bothered to show up.
“I’m sorry,” Laura said. And she was. Sorry that JT was here. Sorry she was having problems. Sorry that she was obviously in pain and Laura didn’t know how to help her.
Teens were supposed to feel angst. It seemed like a rite of passage. But whatever was happening with JT was more than normal teen moodiness, or even a kid adjusting to being in high school.
“Want to talk about it?” she asked, not for the first time. “This is more serious than skipping my class, or not turning in an assignment. And it looks like we have some time.”
“I know. I know I was stupid to get in the car with Courtney. I wasn’t drinking. You can ask that cop. They Breathalyzed me. No alcohol at all in my system. But I knew Courtney’d had a beer. I swear I didn’t know she was drunk, if I did, I wouldn’t have gotten into the car with her, but I’d’ve stopped her from driving, too. I could have taken her keys. I mean it, Ms. Watson. I never would have—”
“It’s okay, JT. I believe you.”
Her shoulders sagged, as if Laura’s belief had eased something in her.
Laura studied the girl. JT was tiny. She didn’t look as if she could be in high school, not even a freshman. She was maybe five feet tall. She’d shaved her auburn hair almost as short as the lieutenant’s. She had a row of earring studs in each ear, one in the side of her nose, and a small hoop in her right eyebrow. And JT wore a lot of black. Today, she had on skintight black pants, a small T-shirt and black leather jacket.
“My mom’s going to kill me,” she said miserably.
“I’m sure she’s going to punish you, but I doubt death will be involved.”
JT’s expression said she didn’t believe a word Laura was saying. But she didn’t say as much. Instead she asked, “So how are you feelin’? The kid’s comin’ soon, right?”
“I’m feeling fine, and the baby’s fine, too. Thanks for asking.”
“Did you get a room ready for it yet?”
“I’m working on it.” The room was filled with boxes and bags. Laura had dutifully bought what the baby needed, but couldn’t find the enthusiasm to assemble furniture, sort clothes or even decorate. Every time she thought about starting, she’d think of Jay, and how they’d planned on doing it together and she simply couldn’t do it alone.
“It will get done in time,” she said more for herself than to JT.
“I was thinking…” JT stood and pulled a sheet of paper out of her back pocket. “I mean, you do art, and I’m sure you’ve got the kid’s room painted real cool, but if not, maybe you’d like something like this…” She shrugged, offered the paper to Laura, then turned away to stare at some indistinct point on the slate-gray wall.
Laura studied the well-worn piece of notebook paper. It looked as if JT had carried it around in her back pocket for a long time. The girl had sketched in a beautiful mural. There was a castle and, judging by their crowns, a princess and prince riding on horseback in a field that surrounded it.
“I figured if it was a girl, she should know right off that she can do anything a boy can do, and if it’s a boy, he should learn that girls are just as good. Might save you some headaches later.”
Laura chuckled as she continued looking at the sketch. There was a dragon setting a table for tea, and a tree that appeared to be growing… “Bubbles?” she asked, pointing.
JT nodded. “Yeah, anyone can paint an apple tree. But a bubble tree? Now that’s something. I have this idea of iridescent paint and… Well, if you’re interested.”
“I’m more than interested, JT. I’m delighted. The baby would love it.”
JT took the paper back, folded it along the creases and stuffed it in a pocket. “Well, maybe if I’m not grounded forever, I could do it for you as a baby gift.”
“It would take a lot of time. And I know that you’re behind in a few classes.”
“I—”
Whatever JT was about to say was cut off by the woman who charged into the room. “JT, what the hell?”
“Mom, I wasn’t drinking. You can ask him.” She pointed at the lieutenant who was standing behind JT’s mother in the doorway.
“The test said she wasn’t, ma’am,” he confirmed. “But she was in the car with a friend who had been drinking and was driving.”
“You really work at making my life miserable, don’t you? You’re like your father. Two of a kind. Maybe it’s his turn to take you.” The woman paused, then said, “Oh, wait, he doesn’t want you, either.”
Laura was aghast that any mother would speak to her child like that. “Mrs. Thomas, I don’t think that kind of talk is beneficial. Maybe—”
JT’s mom ignored Laura and spoke over her, addressing the officer. “Can I take her now?”
The lieutenant nodded. “Yes, ma’am. You signed the papers, right?”
“Yeah, I signed your papers. Come on.” JT’s mother grabbed her arm and pulled her from the room. Laura picked up her purse and followed them down the hallway, not sure what else to do.
The lieutenant walked beside her, not saying anything.
They got outside and Laura saw Mrs. Thomas and JT climbing into their car. It was obvious they were fighting. But when Mrs. Thomas reached over and smacked JT, Laura’s jaw dropped, as if she’d been the one who’d been slapped.
The lieutenant brushed by Laura and charged across the small parking lot. He knocked purposefully on the driver’s side window. Laura couldn’t hear what was said, but he leaned in and spoke earnestly to the woman for a minute, then stepped back as she pulled out of the parking space and drove onto the street.
A gust of cold wind blew by and he hurried toward the building.
“You let her go.” Laura had wanted to chase after JT’s mom as well, but given her size, walking was enough of a trial.
“There’s nothing more I could do. It was only a slap, I’d be hard-pressed to make an abuse charge stick. The woman was disciplining her daughter.” The lieutenant’s words sounded calm, but there was a hint of something in his tone—something that said he was as upset at that slap as she was.
“I don’t believe in hitting kids. Ever,” he said. “But I don’t write the laws. I simply enforce them. But I did tell her that I’d be checking in with JT next week at school. And you’ll contact me if you see anything I can make stick.” He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a business card. “Call me. Anytime.”
“Thank you, Lieutenant.”
Laura clutched the card as she started across the parking lot to her own car.
“Laura,” came a voice that wasn’t the lieutenant’s. She recognized it and knew that her luck had run out. Every fiber of her being wanted to keep walking, but she didn’t. She turned to face the man who reminded her of what Jay might have looked like if he’d lived to be his father’s age.
“Sir.”
Mr. Martin looked as if he’d aged a decade since Jay’s funeral. She’d made it clear that she didn’t want to see him or his wife, and they’d stayed away, though they called to ask about the baby’s progress. The conversations were stilted and uncomfortable at best. But now, here he was and she’d been right, seeing him hurt. “How are you?” he asked.
“The baby’s fine,” she answered, knowing that was his real question. Chief Martin wanted to know about his grandchild, not his son’s almost-wife.
“We’ve missed you.”
Laura looked at her watch. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
Knowing she was a coward, but not caring, she hurried to her car as quickly as she could given her ponderous size. And she purposefully didn’t glance back at the man she’d once thought would be her father.
Her hand rested on her stomach. This baby was all the family she’d have.
And that was enough.
SETH WATCHED THE TALL BLONDE waddle to her car.
“Why was Laura here?” Chief Jameson Martin asked Seth.
The deputy chief’s voice was choked with emotion, but Seth understood the unwritten code of manly conduct and ignored it. He simply answered his boss’s question. “One of her students, Chief. Ms. Watson came to wait with her until the girl’s mom picked her up.”
“You gave her a card?”
Martin didn’t miss a thing. “Yeah. She’s worried about the girl. So am I. The mom smacked the kid, but no reason to suspect anything more than a parent at her wit’s end. Still, I talked to the mom and I told Miss Watson to call me if she saw any evidence that there’s more than an isolated slap going on.” He paused and asked, “You know her?”
“She was Jay’s fiancée.”
Shit.
Seth knew Martin had lost his son last spring. He’d gone to Kloecker’s Funeral Home, like the rest of the department. They’d all filed through, offering condolences, shaking hands, even hugging Mrs. Martin.
He remembered there was a fiancée, but he hadn’t known until now that she was pregnant. And from her reaction, things were not very amicable between her and the chief. Seth wasn’t sure what to say about it or what to do, so he stood and waited.
Martin finally spoke, breaking the silence. “She doesn’t want anything to do with us. If we call, she’s polite enough, but she’s put a wall between us. It’s killing my wife. That baby is our last connection to our son, but more than that, my wife loves Laura.”
Seth was pretty sure it was killing Martin, too, but he didn’t say it.
“I’m sorry.” His mother once told him that there are some pains that are so great that those are the only words that can be offered. And yet, he wished he had something more to offer his chief. “Maybe she’ll come around.”
“I’d like to think she will, but…” Martin’s voice cracked, and he was silent a moment. “You’ll tell me if you see her again? If there’s anything she needs, you’ll let me know? A lot of guys from Jay’s group have been taking care of some work around her house. Not that she asks. She keeps insisting she’s fine. But how can she be?”
There were three patrol groups on the Erie Police Department. Martin’s son, Jay, was assigned to a different group than Seth’s. They’d known each other, but never worked together. Seth figured Jay’s group would consider Laura Watson one of their own, as they should. Even if she insisted she didn’t need their help, they’d help.
“Sure,” he promised. “I’ve got to go into her school next week. Why don’t I make it a point to check in with her about her student?”
“I’m not asking you to spy on her, or break any confidence,” Martin assured him hastily. “It’s that she’s our only link left with Jay. Her and the baby. But it’s more than that. We loved Laura as if she was our own. When we lost Jay, we lost her, too, and it hurt. We’d do anything for her, if she’d let us.”
“Sure thing, Chief. I’ll keep an eye on her.”
He turned and walked back into the office, his mind on Laura Watson.
The very pregnant Laura Watson.
And that thought made him remember Allie. Not that he ever forgot her. She was there with him, every day. At first, Allie had been there every minute, a constant pain that ached with every breath he took. Now, that pain wasn’t as fierce or frequent, but as it faded, he was left with this huge hole in his life. And he didn’t know how to fill it.
He could really understand Laura Watson’s pain at losing her fiancé. Losing that one person you loved more than life itself—it was the kind of thing you never actually got over. You might learn to live, despite the loss. But you were never truthfully the same.
He shut off such thoughts. He was at work and couldn’t afford the distraction. Later, tonight, he’d remember, and if he was lucky, he’d dream about Allie.
That’s all he had left.
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