Kitabı oku: «Another Chance for Daddy»

CHAPTER ONE

TROUBLE was coming up Rebecca Saunders’s front walk. As she looked out the window, she pressed her hands against her stomach, took a deep breath and held it until her nerves steadied.

Trouble was her ex-husband, Clay.

He drove a midnight-blue, four-wheel-drive Ford Explorer that had scattered gravel in all directions when it swept into her driveway and parked behind her little green Honda. He had a way of stepping down from the vehicle, stretching a six foot two inch frame until every chest and shoulder muscle rippled beneath a black snap-front shirt, placing a cowboy hat on a head of deep auburn hair and examining the neighborhood through dark green eyes. She knew he had taken in everything at one glance, judged it, and probably found it wanting.

This was not the kind of neighborhood they had ever lived in together. Their apartments had all been in modern buildings lacking in uniqueness, whether they had been located in Louisiana, Texas, or Mexico.

This home and this neighborhood were unique; each house was different, from her own small three-bedroom bungalow to the Emerson’s sprawling two-story whose trim had recently been painted hot pink. This was the kind of neighborhood where she had always wanted to live, but Clay hadn’t. He had never wanted the responsibility and upkeep of a home. Besides, he had said, a house would be too hard to sell when they moved on to his next job—a statement that had always made Becca’s heart sink to her toes because she had feared his attitude would never change—and it hadn’t.

As she watched, he walked down the driveway to her front gate, then strolled along the brick sidewalk with a leisurely pace.

He looked over her yard, at the brown grass that would turn green in a few weeks, the forsythia and rosebushes that rattled dry branches against the picket fence, and the flower beds where crocuses were poking their first tentative green shoots through the rich brown soil as if sending up scouts to see if winter truly was finished.

Even as she berated herself for doing it, she searched Clay’s face for signs of approval, but saw only mild interest.

Then she studied his face because in the past it had given her so much pleasure to do so. It was a strikingly handsome face with deep-set eyes, a long, straight nose, and a rarely-seen grin. She used to love that grin. It had always seemed like a gift when it appeared. At one time it meant laughter, fun, good times. She didn’t see that grin now. In fact, she never saw it. There was nothing of laughter, fun, and good times between them now.

Becca stood behind her lace curtains, knowing that she was acting cowardly, that she should throw the door open and invite him right in. After all, he had called ahead, made all the necessary arrangements. This visit wasn’t a surprise. She had thought she was prepared; she had been up cleaning house since six that morning to work off her nervousness, but it plagued her with butterflies beating frantically inside her.

Becca had moved out almost a year and a half ago. Their divorce had been final for six months. She wondered how much longer it would be before she stopped having this physical reaction to him—this burning sensation that swept up from her stomach to her throat and then her face. True, she was still attracted to him. What red-blooded woman wouldn’t be? But that wasn’t the reaction she was having now. It almost felt like embarrassment, but she had nothing to be embarrassed about. She had done what was best for herself and Jimmy, who was then barely five years old. She had moved the two of them back to her hometown of Tarrant, Colorado.

Clay had fought the divorce, as she had known he would, but she had held her ground until the final decree had been granted and she had been free to start life again, this time as a single mother. She had family in Tarrant; her stepmother and her half-sisters, aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was home, and it was safe and comfortable. She needed a secure routine and some emotional comfort after her years with Clay.

She had certainly achieved a secure routine, but little emotional comfort of any kind and she felt it anew every time she saw him now.

. There had been bitter words, hard feelings, and trouble in general between her and Clay ever since she had left him. However, when he had called a couple of weeks ago, Clay had asked for a truce. He was going to be leaving the country soon to take an engineering job in Venezuela and would be gone for several months. He wanted to have Jimmy during the youngster’s spring break from school. They were going skiing. Clay apologized for the hard time he’d given Becca since the divorce, saying that he now realized the whole situation would be much easier for Jimmy if he knew his parents were on friendly terms.

Becca had been so relieved by this overture of peace, that she had immediately agreed to the skiing trip. Now Clay was here, and she hoped she hadn’t made a terrible mistake.

She heard his boots on the front porch, then his knock on the door. Before she could prepare herself any further, or give herself a pep talk about seeing him face-to-face, a whirlwind in the form of her son whipped by her.

“I’ll get it. It’s Dad. I saw him from my window,” Jimmy shouted as if his mother had suddenly been struck with deafness.

Excitedly, he wrestled the door open, then leaped straight into the air and into his father’s outstretched arms, shouting, “Daddy, you came. I knew you’d come.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t let my guy down. You know that.” Clay’s deep voice was muffled as he buried his face against Jimmy’s neck.

Standing in her living room and watching the tender scene in the doorway, all Becca could see was the top of Clay’s black Stetson. It obscured Jimmy’s head, too, so that the only things visible were his little back and his short, jeans-clad legs. Clay’s arms were wrapped tightly around his waist.

Becca’s eyes filled with tears and she turned her head away as she blinked them back. Clay and Jimmy had always been close. Even though he’d never been around an infant before his son’s birth, Clay had never balked at the diaper-changing and floor-walking associated with a baby—and Jimmy had been a sick, fussy baby. She wanted to see that closeness continue even though it meant that she would have extended contact with Clay herself.

When Clay pulled away from Jimmy and lifted his head, Becca braced herself. In spite of his request for a truce, she expected to see censure in his eyes as she had for the past two years. Instead, they were cool and guarded, as was his smile.

“Hello, Becca. How are you?” he asked as his gaze traveled over her, taking her in, from her long chocolate-brown hair, which was pulled back into a neat French braid, to the steady look in her aquamarine eyes, to the set of her full lips and the angle of her narrow chin.

As he examined her, Becca was glad that she had foregone her usual loafers, jeans, and sweater for her dressy boots and a calf-length dress of soft sky-blue flannel. It helped to know that she looked her best.

“I’m fine, Clay,” she answered, and was quite pleased with the cool confidence in her tone. “Come on in,” she invited with a sweep of her hand. “Jimmy’s been up since the crack of dawn, watching for you.”

Clay’s right eyebrow rose a fraction. “I’m here exactly when I said I would be.”

“Yes, yes, of course,” she said hastily. “It’s just that he doesn’t tell time very well yet. He’s only in the first grade, you know.” She was not going to mention the number of times that work had made him break promises to Jimmy, or to her. Nor would she let him think that she had been speaking badly about him to his son. “I told him you would be on time, but he didn’t really understand when ten o’clock would arrive.” Becca stopped suddenly, realizing that she was babbling.

She stepped back and her hand fluttered out. “Why don’t you sit down for a few minutes? Jimmy just learned to read his first book on his own and his teacher let him keep it over spring break so he could read it to you.” She glanced down at her son, who was now clinging to his father’s leg. “Honey, why don’t you go get your book now? Since it belongs to the school library, you can’t take it on your trip with you, but you can read it to your dad before you go.”

Jimmy grinned up at her, showing a gap where his new front teeth were coming in. His hair and eyes were so much like Clay’s that sometimes it hurt. He occasionally had Clay’s stubbornness, too, but today he was all smiles. “I’ll bring my gear, too.”

Jimmy turned and ran off, taking with him the whirlwind of excitement that followed him everywhere.

Becca gestured for Clay to sit on the sofa. See? she told herself. This could be easy if they both worked at it. Their meetings didn’t have to degenerate into the hot words or cold silences of the past. Those silences had been her greatest frustration in their marriage. She came from a family that talked out, even yelled out, their problems. Except in moments of passion, Clay had never shown his deepest emotions.

Becca gave herself a mental shake. She didn’t know why she was thinking about Clay and moments of passion. In fact, she didn’t know why she was going over any of this now, except that every time she saw him, the unresolved feelings surfaced.

Becca forced a smile. “Jimmy’s packed and repacked his duffel bag six times,” she said. “There’s no telling what you’re going to find when you open it.”

“Just so he has his ski clothes and boots.”

“He does.”

Clay sat after he had removed his hat and placed it upside down on the coffee table. He stretched his long legs out, extended his arm along the back of the sofa, and relaxed. Becca perched nervously on the chair opposite, wishing she could be at ease the way he was. After all, this was her house, the kind she had always wanted when they were married. The living room was comfortable with its deep, overstuffed sofa and chairs upholstered in blue and cream checked fabric, the big window swagged with lace and muslin, and the touches of country charm that decorated the walls, bookcase, and tables. She’d had one of her cousins, a carpenter, build plate rails and shelves along the top of the wall in the dining room to display her collection of pre-Depression glassware.

Becca cleared her throat and gave him a bright smile. In spite of her best efforts she knew it looked as fake as a three dollar bill. “I’m quite pleased with Jimmy’s teacher this year. She puts a real emphasis on reading and math. He’s doing very well.”

Again, Clay gave her that steady look, which was beginning to unnerve her. “Yeah, I figured that out from the copy you sent of his report card.”

“Oh, oh, of course.” Becca’s heart sank. This was harder than wading through cold molasses.

She turned her head and looked out the window at the clear March sky. There had been a time when conversation between them had flowed easily and naturally. They had been able to talk about anything—or so she had thought. She realized now that their conversations had never really dealt with the overwhelming differences between them—his need for adventure and hers for safety and security. Their conversations had certainly never touched that secret place that Clay had always kept locked away from her.

Clay, a mining engineer, had been working on a short-term contract for an oil and gas company. The company’s owner had taken Clay to discuss a possible easement for a gas line. across her father’s, Hal Kelleher, property. She had been there, too, that day, picking up her youngest sister, Brittnie, for a trip to the orthodontist’s in Durango. She had almost missed Brittnie’s appointment because once Clay had arrived, she had lingered at the ranch, intrigued and yet terrified by the impact of meeting him.

He had sought her out that night, locating her at her job, managing the local movie theater. He had taken her out and they had talked until nearly dawn, then they’d been together every free minute after that. They had fallen immediately into lust and married after a three-week courtship. At the time, she had thought it was like a fairy tale. She realized now that their speedy marriage had possessed exactly as much substance as a fairy tale.

Even after all this time, the memory of their meeting still brought her intense joy, followed by sorrow. How could they have known things would go so wrong?

Determined to get through this short visit with as much civility as possible, Becca bought her attention back to Clay and discovered that he was studying her with the clear-eyed intensity he brought to everything he did. She met his eyes for a fleeting instant and saw sharp emotion there, but it was gone before she could identify it. His face went blank, as if he was expecting her to make the next gesture. Becca sighed inwardly. She had made all the gestures so far. She had to admit that this was better than fighting with him, but she didn’t know what he was thinking. At least when they had fought, she had known what was going on in his mind—somewhat.

Did he feel the same regrets she did? She had no idea and that was basically what had lain at the root of all their problems when they had been married.

“Can I offer you some coffee, Clay?” she asked, and wished her voice sounded less strained.

“Sure,” he said. “Thanks.”

Relieved to be doing something, Becca hopped up and headed for the kitchen, but was distressed to glance back and discover that he was following close behind her.

“I’ll bring it out here, Clay,” she said, giving him a fleeting smile over her shoulder.

He answered with a steady look. “You don’t have to treat me like a guest, Becca. I can drink coffee in the kitchen.”

“All right,” she agreed, but she felt an edge of irritation. Why couldn’t he make such a simple thing easy? “Won’t you sit down?”

She already had the coffeemaker set up, so she flipped the switch to start it brewing, then began getting cups from the cabinet and cream from the refrigerator. When she had fiddled with the preparations as long as she could, she finally turned around, folded her arms across her waist, and wished she could think of something to say.

Clay had pulled out one of the four chairs that went with her oak table and sat now with his long legs stretched out before him and his strong miner’s hands resting casually on the polished wood. Glancing at the centerpiece of dried prairie grasses in a squat terra-cotta jug, then at the tabletop beneath his hands, he said, “This is new.”

“Yes, it is.” She brought their cups to the table, handed him his with just the amount of cream he liked stirred into it, then sat down opposite him. “It’s new to me at least. Mary Jane found it in the barn after Dad died. It was my grandmother’s. I had it refinished.” She wasn’t sure why she added that last bit. It wasn’t as though he cared. Heirlooms such as her grandmother’s table had never meant much to him.

He nodded. “In fact, it looks like you’ve finally got the place you always wanted.”

She listened for censure in his tone, but hearing none, she glanced around at her lovely little home and said, “Yes, I do.”

“So things are all set for you, then?”

There was something in his deep voice that made her shift uncomfortably in her chair, then hide her discomfort behind a sip of coffee. “Jimmy has made friends here in the neighborhood and at school. Things are going fine. How about you? When did this job in Venezuela come up?”

“A few weeks ago. George Cisneros called, said they needed me for some preliminary work on a mine they’re opening down there.” He shrugged. “And now there’s no reason for me not to go.”

There was no accusation or self-pity in his tone. He was matter-of-fact, but she felt a twist of guilt knowing that their divorce was the reason he was now free to take a job in South America. He’d wanted to years ago, saying the cultural changes would be good for them. Since they both spoke some Spanish, living in South America wouldn’t be hard for them. Becca had fought the move, reluctant to be so far from her family for such a long time. Mexico had been a great enough distance for her.

Before she could respond, Jimmy struggled into the room, pulling his overstuffed duffel bag with one hand, and clutching his book with the other. The tip of his tongue peeked from the corner of his mouth and a lock of dark hair flopped over his forehead. Clay started to his feet to help the boy out, but when Jimmy had the bag two inches inside the kitchen, he abandoned it in the doorway and rushed to climb into Clay’s lap.

Clay grunted when Jimmy’s elbow connected with his stomach. Rubbing the tender spot, he looked at the book’s cover, then gave Becca a questioning glance. “Gems and minerals?” he asked.

“I admit the book’s a little thin on plot, but most of it is written at his level, and it’s his favorite subject,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “He must have inherited it from you.”

Clay grinned, the first natural smile she’d seen from him since he had arrived, and she relaxed against the back of her chair. Since she had read, and heard, the book several times already, she sipped her coffee and watched Clay as he helped their son with such words as “feldspar” and “sandstone.” She wasn’t sure how much of the book Jimmy actually understood, but he loved rocks of all types, was a fount of information about them, and could be counted on to volunteer interesting tidbits at any given moment.

When he finished, Jimmy gave a satisfied sigh, jumped down from his father’s lap and dashed away to put the book back in his room.

“His teacher said he’s the only child to check that book out of the school library in two years. He’s kept rechecking it every week for a month. He should have it memorized by now.”

Clay nodded, then smiled at her with such pride in his son, that Becca felt tears clog her throat. This is the way it should always be between them, sharing in their son’s accomplishments.

“We went up to the old Lucy Belle mine a few weeks ago,” she continued when she knew she’d conquered the tears. “He was convinced he could find gold there, even thought it was a silver mine. He had on a pair of sweatpants with big pockets that he filled so full of rock samples the seat hung down past his knees. He walked around all day with his feet wide apart to keep his pants from falling down. He looked as if he was saddle sore, but he couldn’t bear to leave even one rock behind. He was sure they were pure gold.”

Clay smiled again, then his face grew thoughtful. “You two didn’t go up there by yourselves, did you? Those old mines are pretty dangerous, rotting timbers, standing water....”

“We weren’t alone,” Becca broke in hastily, then busied herself picking up her coffee cup and carrying it to the sink. “We were with Barry,” she added in a tone that she hoped sounded casual. “Would you like more coffee?” She had the feeling, though, that she resembled someone who, when meeting a bear in the woods, throws a decoy in one direction and runs in the other praying for a distraction while hotfooting it toward safety.

“Barry Whelker? Your boss?” Clay’s tone was deceptively soft. “Is he interested in abandoned mines?”

Becca turned to face him, her back to the sink and her hands behind her, gripping the edge of the ceramic tile counter. “Not very much. But he knows Jimmy is.”

“Why should he care?”

“He’s a nice man,” she said carefully.

Clay’s mouth firmed into a straight line. “So you’ve said, but why does he care about Jimmy’s interests?”

Her eyes darted away, then back to meet his. Her chin came up. “You see, Clay, Barry and I have been dating.”

“Dating?”

His voice had dropped to a low rumble. Becca swallowed hard and told herself she wasn’t afraid of him, or of his reaction. Her social life really wasn’t any of his business. “Yes, you remember dating, don’t you? It’s that getting-to-know-you activity we didn’t do enough of before we got married.”

“I see, and you’re taking my son along on these dates?” Clay rose from his chair and leaned forward, the tips of his fingers resting on the tabletop. His eyes had gone as dark as the sea before a storm.

“Occasionally, if it’s a family activity....”

“But not on the private activities between the two of you?”

Anger flushed Becca’s face red, brought her hands to her waist and her chin higher into the air. “Just exactly what are you implying, Clay?”

“I’m not implying anything. I’m asking if you’re being careful around Jimmy.”

“We’re certainly not doing anything wrong, Clay, and furthermore, I don’t see why you would think it was any of....”

The back door flew open and banged against the wall, startling them both. They whirled around to see Becca’s youngest sister, Brittnie struggling into the room. Her arms were full of a large scrapbook and several photograph albums. A small baker’s box rode precariously on top. Her face was turned away as she steadied the box against her cheek.

“Hi, Sis,” she huffed, reaching behind her with her foot to shut the door against the March breeze, and at the same time, making a grab for the sliding box. “I picked up the stuff you wanted from Dan’s Bakery. His wedding cakes are the best in town. He sent a photo album of his best cakes and a sample of the lemon one. I had the chocolate one last year at Brenda Luna’s reception. It was wonderful. I think you and Barry will be happy with any of them.” Abandoning her struggle with the door, she turned around and said, “Hey, can you help me out here? I’ve got my hands full, you know, and you’re just standing there like your shoes are nailed to the...” Her eyes widened and her voice trailed off when she spotted Clay. “Floor,” she finished in a sinking tone. She darted a quick glance at Becca, licked her lips and said meekly, “Hi, Clay.”

“Hello, Brittnie.” He straightened away from the table and moved toward her with a smooth, gliding stride that made Becca think of a stalking panther. “What did you say you’ve got there?”

Brittnie, whom Becca had always considered to be the fast thinker in the family, whipped around, dumped the articles on the counter behind her sister, then stood shoulder to shoulder with her and gave her former brother-in-law a big, empty-headed smile. “Oh, nothing, just some...Oh, nothing.”

Clay stood before the two of them and tried to peek over their shoulders. “What was all the talk about wedding cakes?”

“Dad, I put my book away,” Jimmy shouted from the living room. His pounding feet were fast approaching the kitchen. “Can we go now?”

When he skidded to a halt in the doorway, Becca looked at his expectant face, then threw a frantically pleading glance at Brittnie, who leaped away from the counter and swooped toward her nephew.

“Hey, Sport,” she said cheerily. “Your mom and dad need to have a little talk. Why don’t you show me your rock collection?” Over his loud protests, she swept him into her arms.

“You already saw my rock collection,” he insisted, arching away from her and giving his parents ah anxious look. “Are Mom and Dad gonna have a fight?”

“No, no, of course not,” Brittnie assured him though her voice had an edge that said she didn’t believe that, either.

“’Cause I don’t like it when they fight.”

“They won’t fight,” she reassured him as she hustled him away.

In the kitchen, Becca stared at Clay, as fascinated as a cobra held fast by a mongoose. Bit by bit, the polite but cool expression he had worn for the past half hour crumbled away as if a stone mask was being chipped off.

His eyes darkened, his thick brows drew together like gathering thunderclouds and his jaw tightened. “Wedding cakes, Becca?” he asked in a silky tone. “Now just why would you be interested in wedding cakes? And why would Barry be interested in wedding cakes right along with you?”

Becca felt as if her heart had dropped to her stomach, then bounced back up again. Now it was stuck behind her esophagus, cutting off her air. She cleared her throat and opened her dry mouth to speak, but it was a moment before anything came out.

“We...uh, we...he...’re getting mar...married,” she wheezed, stretching the words out, then could have kicked herself for reacting as if she’d been caught doing something wrong.

“Married?” he asked, moving to stand towering over her. “You and Barry?”

“That’s...that’s right.”

“This is the first I’ve heard of it, Becca. In fact, I just learned five minutes ago that you two are dating.”

“Well, well, we are,” she bluffed, holding her chin at such an exaggerated angle that she feared her jaw would crack. “I’ve been dating Barry for three months now.”

“And now you’re going to many him?”

“That’s right. We...we just made the decision a few days ago.” Finally, her fear of his reaction began to fade and her natural stubbornness kicked in. “And frankly, I don’t see that this is really any of your business, Clay.”

“The hell it isn’t. Anything that affects my son is my business and your remarriage will definitely affect him. What does he think of this, by the way?”

Becca glanced away. “He likes Barry.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Clay reached out, snagged her chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced her to look at him. “What does Jimmy think about having Barry for a stepfather?”

Although the rough callouses on his thumb chaffed her skin, Becca didn’t pull away. She met his eyes steadily.

After a moment, Clay’s eyes widened in shock, his hand dropped to his side and he said, “I’ll be damned. You haven’t told him yet, have you?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Why the hell not?”

Now she was losing her defensiveness and getting angry, too. “Don’t swear at me, Clay. I haven’t told him yet because I was waiting for the right moment.”

Clay’s hands rose slowly to his waist and his jaw thrust forward belligerently. “And just when would that be? Five minutes before you walked down the aisle?”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. I didn’t tell him yet because I didn’t want to spoil his skiing vacation with you.” Immediately, she knew she had said the wrong thing, but she couldn’t backtrack now.

Clay jumped on her mistake like a cat landing on a mouse. “Are you listening to yourself?” he asked in a scoffing tone. “If news of your marriage would spoil his vacation, then it must not be good news.”

Becca’s hands dropped and curled into fists. “I meant that he would be thinking about it a great deal and not enjoying his time with you.” Finally, she just shut her mouth, knowing she was doing nothing but making things worse. She took a deep breath. “Listen, this isn’t getting us anywhere. Why don’t you go on your skiing trip and have a good time? When you get back, we’ll sit down together with Jimmy and explain everything.”

Clay stared at her. “Fat chance.”

“You said yourself that his reaction to our divorce would be much easier for him if he thinks we’re on friendly terms.”

“I wasn’t talking about this! Besides, why would he think we would be on friendly terms about you marrying again, Bec? We haven’t been on friendly terms about much of anything in two years.”

“Then it’s time we started,” Becca snapped.

She longed for him to leave, to let her sit down, rub away the headache that was beginning to pound in her temples and figure out how she had made such a mess of this when she’d had it so carefully planned.