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Kitabı oku: «The Baby Magnet»

Terry Essig
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Unfortunately for Luke, his new and unexpected role as papa had made him desperate.

He needed somebody who knew anything about children—young girl children to be specific.

From what he’d seen so far, Marie fit the bill. Serendipity had brought them together and Luke was determined it would take them a whole heck of a lot farther. He was going to pick her brain until he knew everything she knew about kids. Then he’d walk away. Because getting involved with someone like Marie would be complicated. And he didn’t need complicated.

Decision made, Luke picked up his daughter and held her in his arms to keep himself from grabbing Marie and repeating the kiss.

Kissing Marie was dangerous, he’d just discovered. And he was not above using the child to help him keep sight of his goals.

Dear Reader,

March roars in in grand style at Silhouette Romance, as we continue to celebrate twenty years of publishing the best in contemporary category romance fiction. And the new millennium boasts several new miniseries and promotions…such as ROYALLY WED, a three-book spinoff of the cross-line series that concluded last month in Special Edition Arlene James launches the new limited series with A Royal Masquerade, featuring a romance between would-be enemies, in which appearances are definitely deceiving….

Susan Meier’s adorable BREWSTER BABY BOOM series concludes this month with Oh, Babies! The last Brewster bachelor had best beware—but the warning may be too late! Karen Rose Smith graces the lineup with the story of a very pregnant single mom who finds Just the Man She Needed in her lonesome cowboy boarder whose plans had never included staying. The delightful Terry Essig will touch your heart and tickle your funny bone with The Baby Magnet, in which a hunky single dad discovers his toddler is more of an attraction than him—till he meets a woman who proves his ultimate distraction.

A confirmed bachelor finds himself the solution to the command: Callie, Get Your Groom as Julianna Morris unveils her new miniseries BRIDAL FEVER! And could love be What the Cowboy Prescribes… in Mary Starleigh’s charming debut Romance novel?

Happy Reading!


Mary-Theresa Hussey

Senior Editor

The Baby Magnet
Terry Essig


www.millsandboon.co.uk

For my father, who actually read encyclopedias for entertainment.

Books by Terry Essig

Silhouette Romance

House Calls #552

The Wedding March #662

Fearless Father #725

Housemates #1015

Hardheaded Woman #1044

Daddy on Board #1114

Mad for the Dad #1198

What the Nursery Needs… #1272

The Baby Magnet #1435

Silhouette Special Edition

Father of the Brood #796

TERRY ESSIG

says that her writing is her escape valve from a life that leaves very little time for recreation or hobbies. With a husband and six children, Terry works on her stories a little at a time, between seeing to her children’s piano, sax and trombone lessons, their gymnastics, ice skating and swim team practices, and her own activities of leading a Brownie troop, participating in a car pool and attending organic chemistry classes. Her ideas, she says, come from her imagination and her life—neither one of which is lacking!

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter One

“All right now, let’s go through this once verbally before you actually try it.”

“Will you quit treating me like a baby?”

“I’m not treating you like a baby. I would never let a baby behind the wheel of a car. Trust me on that. Now backing out of a parking spot can be tricky. If you turn your wheel too soon you can sideswipe the car next to you. You have to back straight out for—”

Rolling his eyes impatiently, Marie Ferguson’s nine-years-younger-than-herself but still uncle Jason turned the key in the ignition and ground the engine. “I know how to do this, Marie. I’ve done it a million times before.”

“You’ve only had your permit for a month and to date have only had a handful of behind-the-wheel opportunities at your driver’s ed class. I sincerely doubt you’ve done this a million—Wait! No! Don’t gun it! Look out!” A sickening crunch accompanied Marie’s warning. “Oh my God, you didn’t check behind you. You hit somebody!”

Jason slammed his hand on the wheel and, in the manner of adolescents around the globe, prepared to defend himself by casting blame on the nearest adult. “It’s not my fault. If Dad didn’t have such a boat maybe I could maneuver it a little better. I told you to talk to him about trading this thing in. It’s a dinosaur. An antique. The driver’s ed car at school is this cool little—”

Marie sighed and tiredly massaged the ache in her temples with her fingertips. Pain had become her constant companion since taking over Jason’s care for her ailing grandfather. “You can harp on Grandpa’s choice in automobiles later. Right now we’re going to have to get out and exchange insurance information with whomever you just walloped.” Marie unlatched her door and struggled out of her safety belt. Then she prayed—out loud so the Almighty would be sure to hear.

“God, please don’t let this be somebody with a temper. The day’s not even half over and I simply cannot handle any more abuse, verbal or otherwise.”

Marie grimaced to herself as she stepped out on the heated blacktop and then concentrated on reversing her frown, doing her best to change it into an apologetic smile which she aimed in the direction of the car behind them. Her smile died before being truly born and Marie cringed at the sight of the ugly dent in the side of Jason’s victim’s car. The overall visual effect of the scene was greatly worsened by the fact that her grandfather’s rear fender was virtually embedded in the other auto’s side.

“Lord,” she moaned quietly to herself. There was a lot of damage and Marie doubted the recipient of all that damage would be willing to write it off as crash testing. The fact that his car was made of a metal that crushed easily was his problem but Marie didn’t think she should even bother bringing that up.

A man climbed out of the injured auto. A very large man, Marie couldn’t help but notice. An oversize intimidating male specimen hewn from granite by the looks of him. The sun was still on the ascendant. It had now reached a position directly behind Jason’s victim, making it impossible to distinguish facial features. Marie could, however, tell that his hair was both thick and dark. The mirrored aviator sunglasses he wore and his slightly overlong locks were paired with perfectly fitted good quality dress black, or maybe navy—it was hard to tell with the glaring nimbus behind him—pleated slacks, a white shirt that was crisp-looking even in this heat that stretched over yard-wide shoulders, and a red power tie. A modern-day pirate. Oh, God. “Jason,” she hissed. “Get out of the car and make nice to the man. Apologize. Grovel. Promise him your firstborn child. Do whatever you have to do to get us out of here alive.”

Oh, why couldn’t it have been a sweet, understanding, grandmotherly type? Somebody who’d raised children and understood what she was going through. If it had to be a guy, why couldn’t it have been somebody wimpy? Anybody other than this body-by-Schwarzenegger type with a face that looked like it would break if he attempted a smile.

Luke Deforest ground his teeth as he reached behind himself with one hand and slapped his car door shut. Damn, but he didn’t need this right now. Not that anybody ever needed a car accident, but today, when his temper was greased and he was running tight on time…Well, now was not a good choice.

Luke slammed his hood with his fist in frustration and turned away from the apprehensive duo approaching him. Get a grip, he advised himself. Accidents will happen. The kid hadn’t intentionally picked the worst day of Luke’s life to back into his three-month-old-interior-still-smelling-like-new-candy-apple-red car of his dreams—the little donkey’s heinie.

Luke’s knuckles whitened as he continued to list like a litany all the reasons he shouldn’t knock the little jerk’s head right into the middle of next week. But damn, he needed to make a good impression today. An awful thought struck and Luke ruthlessly pushed it back. Certainly the car was still driveable. Of course it was. Luke glanced down the side of his car. No, it wasn’t.

Luke took a deep breath, turned back to face the duo and pinned the driver of the offending vehicle with his gaze. Even through the glare of today’s strong sun, he looked young, Luke thought and was immediately appalled. When had teenagers started looking like such babies, he mused. Was it a sign of his own creeping dotage that had him wondering when they’d started allowing ten-year-olds to start driving?

Nah, he was only thirty-four. It wasn’t Luke getting old, it was just this child dressed in adolescent’s clothing pretending to be sixteen. No way. Luke directed himself to the woman who’d climbed out of the passenger’s side. He hadn’t gotten a good look at her yet, but she at least appeared to be of legal age. On the short side of average, she was slender and trim. Her hair glinted red in the sunlight, her skin was pale, and even from this distance he could see her eyes were blue. In fact, she bore a striking resemblance to his brother’s wife. He squinted and did a double take. Good God Almighty, it was Marie. Wasn’t it?

“Marie?” he checked.

Marie did her own double take. No. It couldn’t be. Then she sighed philosophically. Well, her life had certainly been going to hell in a handbasket of late. This would certainly be right in keeping. Somehow Jason had managed to ram her grandfather’s car right into her ex-brother-in-law. Wonderful. Wade’s brother had seemed to almost purposely avoid them after their wedding. She doubted he’d be any too happy to see her now.

“Luke?”

“Yeah. It’s me.”

“What are you doing here? I thought you lived up in Michigan somewhere.” And if he’d only stayed there Jason wouldn’t have hit him. Jason was right, the accident wasn’t his fault. It was Luke’s. Luke didn’t belong here in Elkhart, Indiana. He belonged far, far away. The farther the better. She didn’t need any further reminders of her previous life, especially not Wade’s incredibly handsome big brother who’d always made her feel like an adolescent with a crush. Thank God no one knew about that. She’d never breathed a word to a soul. She’d met Wade first and fair was fair.

Luke nodded his head toward Jason. “He old enough to be behind the wheel?” he asked. “I’m going to be mighty upset if you’re letting him drive around without any insurance coverage,” he warned.

Marie swallowed hard. If he was trying to be intimidating, it was working. She definitely felt threatened. She hastened to reassure him. “Oh, yes, he’s old enough,” Marie said. “Fifteen and a half, as a matter of fact. Jason has a learner’s permit rather than an actual license, but he’s permitted to drive so long as there’s a licensed driver in the car with him.”

Jason, obviously insulted at this slur to his character, had already produced his permit. He reverently unfolded it and smoothed out the crease before presenting it for inspection.

“Hmm.” Luke studied it and all but grunted. “You’ve got insurance?” He pinned Jason with a laser stare.

“Sure I do,” Jason retorted, then turned to Marie questioningly. “Don’t I?”

“Absolutely,” she assured him with a nod of her head. “I took care of that before I even took you over to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles to get your permit.” She took a deep breath and approached Luke. “We’re definitely covered.” She extended her hand. After a brief pause, Luke took it. “How’s it going, Luke? It’s been a while.” Since your brother’s funeral to be exact, she silently added.

Luke’s handshake was quick and cursory, the amenities covered then forgotten. Good thing she hadn’t attempted a hug or anything else that would have really invaded his personal space. How could she have ever wanted this man? “You remember my, uh, uncle, Jason Fort. You met briefly at the wedding and again at the, um, funeral.”

Luke reluctantly nodded his head. “Jason,” he acknowledged. “First time I haven’t seen you all slicked up. Didn’t recognize you for a minute there.” Luke turned his head to glance significantly down the length of his car. “We’ve got ourselves a little problem here, Jason, old buddy,” he said as he viewed the wound in his red compact.

Jason nodded glumly. “Yes, sir.”

Luke and Jason stood there with their hands in their front pockets studying the damage with grim looks. They studied it so long, in fact, that she began to worry. Men, she’d noticed from her own relationships, tended to take damage to their automobiles as a personal affront. You’d think he’d be grateful nobody was hurt, Marie thought waspishly. But no, the way he was staring at his car’s backside, you’d think he felt its pain. “It’s not terminal, or anything,” she said. “I mean, it can be fixed. Right?” she asked a bit helplessly as she gestured to the ugly gash.

Luke grunted.

Marie took that for affirmation.

Luke never took his eyes off his scarred but still proud automobile. Finally, he drawled, “I suppose it’s fixable. It’s just not driveable in the here and now.”

“What’s that mean?” Marie asked suspiciously.

“It means I’ve got an appointment in Kalamazoo in a little over an hour.”

Marie looked at her own watch as if to verify his appointment. “You’re not going to make it.”

“I know. Especially if we don’t get a move on here. Well, I hope you and Jason don’t have plans for the rest of the afternoon. If you do, you’ll have to cancel them. I must have something in the trunk Jason and I can use to pull the metal away from the wheel. I’ll leave my car in the lot here. There’s no time to mess with it now. I’ll have to deal with it when we get back.”

Marie stared at her former brother-in-law in dismay. “What are you talking about, we? I’m not going anywhere except home to some extra-strength pain reliever and a darkened room.”

“That’s what you think. You wanted a nap, you shouldn’t have let Crash here behind the wheel of a car.”

“I didn’t know I was going to need to lie down until five minutes ago,” Marie muttered through clenched teeth. Men. She was surrounded by them and they were all bent on driving her insane. As soon as her grandfather was home from the hospital and operating without a walker she was joining a convent. For real this time.

Luke shrugged and glanced at his watch. Damn, it would have to be Marie. She was a hell of a looker and Luke had noticed. Man, had he noticed. It was one of the only times in his life he could remember being jealous of a brother whose life, in Luke’s estimation, had been pitiable. A shallow man interested only in the surface. It angered Luke that he himself found Marie’s surface interesting when she was very likely every bit as shallow as his brother. She’d married him, hadn’t she? Luke had stayed away as much as possible, disgusted with himself and the situation. Women watched soap operas with plots like this. He certainly wasn’t going to star in one. But today he had no choice.

“There’s a drugstore in the mall. Run in and buy yourself whatever you need for your headache. We’ve got a little under five minutes before I absolutely have to be on the road. Buy enough for two. Better make it extra-strength whatever it is. I seem to be developing a major migraine myself in the last few minutes.”

And men complained women were illogical. She’d like to see a researcher try to flow chart a man’s thought processes some time and see how far they got. “Luke, what are you talking about? I mean, I’m sorry if you have a headache and certainly I’ll be contacting our insurance company and we’ll take care of any damages but—”

“You’re down to three minutes,” Luke interrupted, checking his watch once more. “Then we’re leaving for Kalamazoo. And by the way, I’ll be doing the driving.”

“Kalamazoo!” Marie yelped. “I can’t—”

“Come on, Crash, give me a hand here. I think I’ve got a tool kit back in the trunk.” Luke popped his trunk and seemed surprised to see Marie still standing there when he glanced up. “Move, woman! My headache and my incapacitated automobile are both courtesy of you and your uncle. The least you can do is help me keep my appointment.”

Marie closed her eyes in defeat. Forget it. She’d never win. Her headache had reached such proportions she doubted anything would help. “Never mind,” she sighed but she doubted they heard, so engrossed was the twosome in debating the merit of one tool after another for its metal-bending properties. Marie trudged her way back to the driver’s side of her grandfather’s car’s. Climbing in, she turned the key in the ignition and gently, carefully pulled slowly forward, disengaging her grandfather’s bumper from her dead ex-husband’s brother’s car. Marie shook her head. Her life had hit an all-time low with this one. Surely things would improve from this point on. After all, they could hardly get worse. Could they?

They could.

And did.

Marie rested her head on the steering wheel while she waited. Evidently she was on her way to Kalamazoo. Brief moments later Luke opened the door behind her and threw a shopping bag into the rear seat. Jason slid in beside it. Luke then opened the driver’s door. “Move over,” he directed.

Marie thought about arguing, decided it wasn’t worth it. “Fine,” she muttered as she scooted over. “Let the macho man drive. God knows a mere woman can’t be trusted behind the wheel of a car.”

Luke wasn’t feeling overly charitable when he switched on the engine. “Glad you realize it. Saves time. Now, fasten your safety belt.”

“Yes, sir,” Marie grumbled. Even a poor pitiful specimen such as herself knew enough to strap in, for heaven’s sake. Especially when a close relative of the original kamikaze pilot was steering. Ah well, she was numb anyway. She probably wouldn’t even notice all the close calls. Provided they remained close calls.

“You can just drop me off on your way out of town,” Jason called from the back seat.

Like hell, Marie thought. Why should she be the only one to suffer?

“No time,” Luke said, denying the request before Marie could open her mouth. “It’s going to be close as it is.”

He had them out of the lot and headed toward Kalamazoo and away from home base before Jason could do more than sputter.

Marie couldn’t help but admire his style. And Luke was a surprisingly good driver. His brother, Marie’s ex, had driven like a maniac. Live by the sword, die by the sword, Marie thought once more. She was only grateful Wade had been alone the day he’d finally done himself in. Marie gradually relaxed as Luke competently handled the wheel. She rode in silence, head back, eyes closed, letting her headache ease as the car smoothly ate up the miles.

“Idiot,” Luke muttered as he was cut off. He braked sharply and the shopping bag he’d tossed onto the back seat tipped over.

Jason righted the bag and began stuffing the spilled contents back in. “Little old for stuffed animals, aren’t you?” he asked as he retrieved a plush teddy bear from the floor-board and tossed it back into the bag.

“Why’d you cut things so close if all you needed was a baby gift?” Marie asked irritated all over again that he’d been where he shouldn’t have been, thus causing the accident.

“It’s for the meeting,” Luke muttered while he checked his mirror, signaled and zipped around a slow-moving truck.

“What kind of meeting requires teddy bears?” She turned around in time to see Jason pick up a thermal-weave blanket with satin binding and bound into a neat bundle with paper tape and plastic wrap. “And baby blankets?” she inquired suspiciously. “What, you’re on the board of the Kalamazoo orphanage?” Somehow the image just didn’t fit with his current piratical, swashbuckling look and her former impression of him.

“I’m picking up my, uh, daughter,” Luke admitted grudgingly, his cheeks stained red for no reason Marie could think of. “I have to meet with some social workers first.”

Marie’s brows rose and her eyes widened as she considered that tidbit. Well, there was certainly little that could be said. First of all, she hadn’t even known he had a daughter. For sure Wade had never mentioned it and she’d never seen hide nor hair of a child in any of her previous encounters with Luke.

“How old is your daughter?” Marie inquired before caution got the better of her.

“Two. I think.”

He thought? He didn’t know his own child’s age? Marie sat back in her seat. Well, she’d figured out the Deforest family was seriously messed up about a month after her wedding. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised that Wade’s older brother had to have his toddler released to him by a social worker. And she wasn’t exactly in a position to throw stones, was she? Her only family seemed to be specializing in the bizarre and unusual themselves, what with her taking on the task of raising her own uncle. Well, it was certainly nothing to her, Marie decided. She’d simply make sure she was out of the picture by the end of the afternoon. Luke could have the social worker come and live with him for all she cared. Marie just felt sorry for the poor, obviously neglected child.

“What’s her name?” she couldn’t help but ask.

“Carolyn.”

“Pretty.”

“It’s okay, I suppose.”

“You don’t like it?”

“Not particularly.”

“Then why’d you pick it?” Marie’s headache was beginning to flare up again.

“I didn’t. Her mother did. I had no say.”

The mind boggled. What was the mother, a female sumo wrestler? Marie couldn’t begin to imagine a circumstance, any circumstance where Luke Deforest wouldn’t have a say—wouldn’t make darn sure he had a say.

Marie decided not to pursue it, however. The answer was bound to only further confuse her. The entire day had taken on a surreal quality. Nothing was making sense. She’d read stories where people walked through mirrors or wardrobes and found themselves trapped in an alternate world. Under the circumstances, the best thing to do was go through the motions and pray for the sun to set. Maybe by the time it got around to rising again she’d wake up on the right side of the mirror.

One could always hope.

Unfortunately, more often than not of late, she’d found herself spending time on the backside of the mirror.

Actually, she was developing a certain bizarre fascination with life on the wrong side. One never knew what would pop up next. Rabbits with pocket watches, incredibly arrogant and macho—not that Marie was into macho, because she most certainly wasn’t—pirates in red sports cars. Who could predict?

“What do Jason and I do while you’re at this meeting?”

“I don’t know. Read a book or something.”

“What book? You hijacked us from the mall parking lot, remember?”

“Okay, so take a walk.”

“Is the area safe where we’re going?”

“I’ve never been there before.”

Marie threw up her hands. “Fine. Great. I’m taking a nap now. Wake me when the nightmare’s over. Good night.” And she leaned back, folded her arms across her chest and closed her eyes.

In the rear seat, Jason apologetically cleared his throat. “Ahem. Marie’s a little high-strung. You have to learn to just kind of ignore her like I do.”

Marie didn’t open her eyes, but she snorted her opinion of that.

Luke wove his way through a knot of cars. “Maybe you ought to listen a little harder, at least when she’s giving driving instructions.”

Amen to that, thought Marie and crossed her arms the other way.

Luke glanced at the boy in the rearview mirror. “And as for my learning to tune her out, we don’t see enough of each other to make it worth worrying over.”

Amen to that, too. And let it stay that way.

Marie actually fell asleep. When she startled awake, the car was parked on a shady street with the windows all left open a few inches for air circulation. She rubbed her eyes, sat up and looked around. Where was she?

Turning around to glance down the block, she found Jason in the back seat with earphones plastered on his head and his portable CD player making him deaf. He wiggled his fingers at her in a gesture of recognition as his head bobbed rhythmically. “Where’s Luke?” she mouthed and Jason pointed to the building across the street.

Marie briefly studied the building, but it wasn’t giving away any secrets so she turned her attention back to Jason. “You’re going to lose your hearing, you know,” she said.

Jason pointed to his ears and shrugged, indicating he couldn’t hear her over the noise being pumped in.

Marie sighed and turned around. At least he wasn’t sharing his musical choice with her. She should be grateful for small favors.

Marie tipped her head one way and then the other. She glanced at her watch. Good grief. She’d been asleep for almost forty-five minutes. No wonder she had a crick in her neck. To tell the truth, she was a little worried with the way she fell asleep at the drop of a hat lately. Her periods were off, too. It had to be the stress. Please, God, let it be stress.

Unfastening her belt, she opened the door and stepped out onto the sidewalk. She needed to stretch out. At the end of the block she turned around and marched back up the street. By her fourth passby she’d developed a ‘glow’—her mother had always insisted ladies didn’t sweat—and all the kinks were well worked out of her legs. She strode quickly by Jason’s lanky reclining-yet-still-rhythmically-twitching form when suddenly her quiet humming was drowned out by ungodly screeching.

Startled, she swiveled about. Half a legion—at least—of women were being raped or abducted somewhere, but where?

She searched the area, and what to her wondering eyes should appear but Luke, coming down the steps of the building Jason had pointed out earlier. He held a toddler in his arms, but rather than cradling her up against his body, he held the little one out and away from himself, as though he wanted to distance himself from his own daughter, the source of all that noise. And he had an exceedingly pained expression on his face.

“Curiouser and curiouser,” Marie murmured and crossed the street to him.

“Hey, hey,” she said and rubbed the child’s back soothingly. At the same time she pushed the child up and against Luke’s chest. The pained look on his face became even more pronounced.

“It’s all right, sweetheart,” Marie crooned. “Daddy’s got you. Everything’s okay. Daddy will fix everything, won’t you, Daddy?” When Luke didn’t speak up quickly enough to suit her, Marie poked Luke in the ribs as a prompt to answer. It was her feeling Daddy shouldn’t have to think quite so hard before responding.

“Ouch! What’d you do that for?” He glared at her. Damned woman had been a pain since the moment he’d run—scratch that—she’d run into him.

Marie glared right back and gestured to the sobbing toddler. The noise level had dropped but people were still staring and they were still only a few decibels below eardrum shattering.

“Oh, right.” Luke cleared his throat. “Marie’s right, Carolyn. Dad’s got the situation under control.” He wished. “You can stop screaming. It’s not going to change anything, after all and if you’ll just stop and think for a minute I’m sure you’ll realize—”

Marie reached up and snatched the baby right out of his arms and hugged her to her breast. “Oh, for God’s sake. Come here, sweetie. Let Auntie Marie hold you.” Marie wrapped her arms snuggly around the baby so she’d feel secure, rested her cheek on the top of little one’s head and began to rock in place. “Shh, shh, Auntie Marie’s got you now and she won’t let anything happen to you.”

Luke rolled his eyes and muttered, “Oh, brother.”

Marie sent him an evil look and mouthed, “Go get the blanket you bought.”

“What? I can’t hear you. Carolyn, you’ve simply got to pipe down before you permanently damage our hearing. Now, what did you say?”

Marie refrained from kicking him in the shins. Barely. Very softly she instructed, “Go and get the baby blanket you bought.”

“You’re still mumbling,” Luke complained. “Did you say you wanted the pink blanket? What for? Marie, look at her. She’s all red and overheated. The last thing she needs is a blanket. She must be getting heavy. Let me take her back.”

She finally blew up. “So you can make her cry again? The blanket’s a comfort thing, you dolt! You probably had one yourself at her age. Or maybe you didn’t and that’s what’s wrong with you. Now would you just quit arguing and go get it?”

Luke backed away and made a calming gesture. “All right, okay, I’m going, see? But I’d just like to point out I’m not the one who made her cry again. If you were all that good with kids you’d know not to yell like that. It upsets them.”

Marie ground her teeth. For two cents she’d hand the child off to him and sit back to watch the show. Unfortunately they’d all be sharing the same car for the next hour and the screaming was already grating on her nerves. “There, there, sweetheart, I’m sorry. It’s just that men are such morons, sometimes your only option is to cut loose.” Marie continued to rub Carolyn’s back while she vilified all men in a soft croon. “You’ll see. Someday you’ll come to me and say, ‘Auntie Marie, I remember back when I was no more than two and you told me all about men. You were right, Auntie Marie. They are dolts.’ Now let’s go down to the car, all right, honey? I’ll introduce you to another of the species. Homo Sapiens Adolescenti, an absolutely pitiable group. The worst of the worst. You remember that when you’re sixteen and don’t have anything to do with them, okay, sweetheart? Save yourself all kinds of grief.”

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