100 Of The Best Curses and Insults In Italian: A Toolkit for the Testy Tourist

CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Learn How To Give ’Em Hell Like A Native!

Pronouncing Italian

Situation #1: Off the Hook

Situation #2: Like A Virgin

Situation #3: Fendi Fake-Out

Situation #4: Buy, Buy Baby

Situation #5: Waiter Hater

Situation #6: Oh, Man!

Situation #7: Mamma Mia

Situation #8: Public Enemy #1

Situation #9: License To Drive

Situation #10: Get A Room!

Situation #11: Striking Out

Situation #12: I Scream, You Scream

Situation #13: Room Disservice

Situation #14: Out Of Order

Situation #15: Track Attack

Situation #16: Missing the Boat

Situation #17: Hell, No!

Situation #18: Walk Of Shame

Situation #19: The Prada Put-Down

Situation #20: Mchatin’ It

Situation #21: Foul Play

Situation #22: Tour De Farce

Situation #23: All the Rage

Situation #24: Going Wi-Fry

Situation #25: Cut the Fat

Situation #26: Sweet Revenge

Situation #27: Driver’s Dread

Situation #28: Busted!

Situation #29: Bull(Y)Sh**t!

Situation #30: Pity In Pink

Situation #31: Head’s Up!

Situation #32: Crossing the Line

Situation #33: All Tapped Out

Situation #34: The Breaking Point

Situation #35: The Tip-Off

Situation #36: Dinner For One

Situation #37: Down And Dirty

Situation #38: Under the Tuscan Run

Situation #39: Just Beat It!

Situation #40: Taken For A Ride

Situation #41: Black And Blue

Situation #42: Space Invasion

Situation #43: Bleat Street

Situation #44: Holy Crap!

Situation #45: Urn Burn

Copyright

About the Publisher

LEARN HOW TO GIVE 'EM HELL LIKE A NATIVE!

I must preface this book by saying: I heart Italy. I'd even go so far as to say it's my first true amore. I've traveled to many other remarkable places, but Italy and I, you see, we've had a love affair for almost 20 years. In fact, now that I think about it, my actual romance with Italy is pretty much gone, our relationship remaining profound but in a more platonic way. Sort of like the couple that has lived together so long that things like bad breath no longer matter. Italy and I, we're now old friends.

Once a year, I return to it, like an overused cell phone in need of a good charge. If I were to create my own romantic fresco depicting what I adore most about Italy, it would include the world's finest shoes, pasta, wine, art, gelato, architecture, and (I'm married now, so I'll include this last "element" with a nod to the past) men.

And though my fresco would not include the following, it's not to say they don't exist in Italy (and in fact, sometimes in abundance—especially in certain regions!): aggressive beggars, pickpockets, snobs, hotheads, mobsters, bullies, ingrates, slobs, liars, vultures, and perverts. Yes, they're there. Italy may very well be superior to the rest of the world in most ways, but is indeed just like the rest of us in others in that it is resplendent in its own vermin as well as beauty.

And so it is in response to the latter group, the people who might try to intercept your love affair with Italy, that I equip you with the following hundred-plus insults. Fight back. Be brave. And it's quite likely you'll discover Italy as your lover, too. Just as long as you don't forget, those are my sloppy seconds!