Kitabı oku: «Rewrite the Stars»

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Author’s Note

Epigraph

i

ii

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Also by Emma Heatherington

About the Publisher

Author’s Note

A key theme of Rewrite the Stars is Charlotte’s love of music and her desire to fulfil her passion of song-writing. I’m a huge music fan and my very first writing efforts were in the shape of some very cheesy pop songs written on my synthesizer when I was about 12. What do you mean you’ve never heard of my big hits ‘Mystery Man’ and ‘The Boy Next Door’??!!!!!

When I was writing this book, the idea came up that there could be an actual song featured that readers could listen to afterwards – I’m being careful not to give anything away in the form of spoilers, but thanks to Claire Fenby, Emily Yolland and Iona Teixeira Stevens for the enthusiastic chat about this when Jade and I were over at HarperCollins in London. The seed was sown and as much as I love writing lyrics myself, I thought the book deserved something a bit more polished!

So, I began scouting around for existing songs that would suit the story, but then something even better happened … an amazing song was written especially for the book by one of my favourite songwriters, Gareth Dunlop, whose compositions have featured in films including Nicholas Sparks’ The Best of Me and Safe Haven, as well as (drumroll) … ABC’s hit series Nashville! I am still pinching myself. The book has its very own song!

I’m absolutely thrilled to bits that Gareth took the time to write and record the song ‘You’ which features in such a poignant scene in Rewrite the Stars. It really is a beautiful, mesmerising and moving song, and even better than I could ever have dreamed of.

A huge thanks to Dianna Maher of Moraine Music Group, Nashville for helping to make this happen – Dianna, you might notice a very subtle thank you in the form of a character being named after you in the story! Most of all, thanks to Gareth for suggesting a brand-new song instead of using something already out there, for following my brief and for coming up with something so wonderful. I’m so honoured to have your beautiful lyrics, melody and voice attached to my work.

And on that note, I urge you all to go and find the song ‘You’ by Gareth Dunlop via his website (www.garethdunlop.com), then close your eyes, think of your special someone, kick back and give your heart a treat!

Emma x

Epigraph

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

i
Dublin, December 2010

I was twenty-two years and nine months old when I first fell in love with Tom Farley.

Elbow-deep in a sink full of suds in our student kitchen, I watched him come in through the back door with my brother Matthew, steal my heart on his way past with his old-school, movie-star-type swagger and I knew my life was never going to be the same again.

My mother used to joke about how I was born cynical, and I was definitely way too sceptical to believe in love at first sight, but this person’s very presence hit me like a bolt of lightning.

He turned my head like no other man had done before, and like none would ever do again.

Tom Farley, with his mega-watt smile, tousled brown hair, dark stubble on a chiselled jawline, the cheekiest dimples you ever did see and bold, devilish eyes of turquoise green, made me weak at the knees. Maybe the attraction was in knowing he was musical, like me. Maybe it was his rugged, ruffled, rough-round-the-edges good looks, or maybe love at first sight did exist and I was now living proof and the latest victim of the old cliché.

Whatever it was, I found myself instantly hooked.

‘What on earth are you wearing?’ my brother Matthew snorted, clearly showing off in front of his new friend. Matthew didn’t have much room to talk when it came to fashion. He was sporting a pair of lilac spray-on jeans with a hideous see-through lemon linen shirt that clashed with his cranberry-coloured hair. Between the two of us, we certainly looked like the circus had come to town.

I glared out the window onto a red brick wall that divided our terraced house from an identical row behind us, turned down James Blunt who was aptly singing his number one hit ‘You’re Beautiful’ and desperately thought of something smart to say in return, but my head was too busy spinning with unadulterated lust.

I was speechless.

My glow-in-the-dark Disney-themed pyjamas with Doctor Marten boots at three in the afternoon was all a bit of an eyesore, but I was a student, on my day off, and how the hell was I to know that the man of my ultimate dreams would pass me by in a whiff of leather and tobacco when I was dressed like a clown?

Yes, Tom Farley, with his air of beauty and superstardom, had just rocked my world and I couldn’t wait to see what happened next, so I ignored my fashion crisis, took a deep breath and dried my hands quickly to go and take a closer look at him.

‘Stick the kettle on, will you Charlie?’ said Matthew when I reached the tiny sitting room where it looked like they were about to set up office. He called me Charlie, which meant he was really showing off now. No one ever called me Charlie. No one was ever allowed to call me Charlie.

I gulped and tried to compose myself in front of this absolute hunk of burning love who was now looking at me just as eagerly as I was at him. Late twenties, I guessed, no wedding ring which was a good start and, despite his bourbon rock-star looks, he had an air of shyness mixed with an inner confidence that made him all the more attractive. I could feel his eyes burn through me, so I looked around the room instead of directly at him to try to keep my cool.

‘Well, I would stick the kettle on, but I was just about to go—’

‘Where?’

Nowhere was the answer. I was about to go nowhere but there was no way I was going to be treated as the tea lady in this whole operation without a proper introduction.

A heap of vinyl with names I’d never heard of was stacked in the middle of the brown carpet, the room stank of stale, spilt beer and weed, while a cactus plant we’d named Jarvis Cocker (because it had prickles) looked as gloomy as the winter weather outside, but Tom Farley brightened up everything in my dull-as-dishwater world. Who was he? Why was he here? My brother was in the process of forming some sort of new age rock band, so I gathered they were here to talk business.

‘I’m OK for tea, thank you … Aren’t you going to introduce us, Matt?’ asked the dreamboat on the sofa and my mouth dropped open when I heard his voice for the first time.

He had the most delicious, gravelly, deep American-Irish accent, which sounded so deeply mysterious in comparison to my own plain old Irish twang. This man, this absolutely gorgeous being, was becoming more appealing by the second.

‘Oh, sorry, this is Tom Farley, our drummer in Déjà Vu,’ said Matthew, finally remembering his manners. ‘He’s probably the best drummer in Dublin.’

Probably the best-looking drummer in Dublin, I’d have added to that sentence, not that I knew many drummers in Dublin or anywhere else for that matter.

Tom held up his hands in a display of modesty.

‘Tom, this is my sister, Charlotte. The bossy baby of the house I was telling you about,’ said Matthew.

I nodded a hello, not knowing whether to thump my brother for calling me bossy, even though it was him telling me to ‘stick the kettle on’, or to hug him for bringing this piece of heaven into my life. Then I stuttered out a proper hello and giggled in a girly way that made me want to thump myself.

‘Nice boots,’ said Tom the drummer, looking me up and down. ‘Snap.’

He pulled up his faded blue jeans ever so slightly to show off identical cherry-coloured Doc Martens and my heart sang. It was destiny. It had to be. He ran his fingers through his tousled hair. I may have swooned out loud. I clenched my own empty fingers, wishing they could touch his hair, too.

‘We’re holding a meeting here shortly,’ said Matthew, clearing his throat. ‘You know, about the new band?’

‘Ah, that’s right,’ I said as if I’d forgotten. As if I could forget. Matthew had talked about nothing else except ‘the new band’ for months now and had been scouring every avenue for the right talent to join him. ‘Is there anything I can do to help, apart from make tea?’

Matthew looked at me wide-eyed.

‘Er, no.’

I knew this was code for ‘Piss away off, sister, or just get the drinks in’, but I wasn’t taking the hint.

‘You know, I always wanted to play the drums, ever since I saw the gorilla in the chocolate ad banging out the beats to that Phil Collins song,’ I sighed, leaning on the doorframe. I even pouted a little. Boy, I hadn’t flirted like this since forever.

Tom laughed, in an endearing way.

‘And Larry Mullen Junior from U2, of course,’ I added, trying to redeem myself. ‘He’s a really good, um, drummer too.’

Matthew was gritting his teeth. ‘I didn’t know you wanted to play the drums, Charlotte,’ he replied swiftly. He seriously looked like he was going to throw something at me now.

‘I do,’ I lied, knowing I was really pushing the boundaries at this stage. ‘Do you teach drumming, Tom?’

Tom was still staring back at me, smiling, his chest moving up and down, and I knew for sure now, as much as my brother was about to kill me for my blatant flirting, that Tom liked me as much as I liked him. He slid out of his heavy jacket and I gulped at the sight of his tanned, toned arms under a khaki green T-shirt, his gaze never leaving mine with a smile that made my stomach do a backflip.

‘I could certainly try to, er, teach you,’ he said, and his voice cracked a little when he spoke. ‘So, you’re the budding songwriter then? Matthew was telling me that you—’

I was just preparing my response when we were both ever so rudely interrupted.

‘I was telling you she writes country songs about men in Stetsons who drink too much beer and break too many hearts,’ said Matthew, clearly put out by the chemistry in the air. ‘She’s not a real—’

‘No, I’m not a real songwriter,’ I said, finishing my brother’s sentence for him. I was evidently embarrassing him with my very presence, so he was doing exactly the same in return as Tom shifted in his seat, watching us battle it out in front of him. We would row about this later.

‘Well, I’d love to hear your songs one day,’ said Tom, much to my delight and surprise. He leaned forward, resting his drummer-boy arms on his knees. The top of his T-shirt gaped open ever so slightly, allowing me to glimpse a light sprinkling of very manly chest hair, just enough to make me want to reach out and touch him. I may have swooned out loud. Again.

‘You really wouldn’t want to hear them,’ said Matthew. He sniggered a bit. I so wanted to swing for him, briefly recalling a time we took lumps out of each other as we fought over who was the funniest character in Friends or when we wrestled over the last mango in the supermarket, much to our mother’s humiliation.

‘I really would,’ said Tom. ‘I think we all need to be educated on how to drink more beer and break more hearts. Maybe you could teach me something too, er, Charlie?’

He quickly sat up and drummed on his knees a bit, reflecting my irregular, pumping heartbeat, and all of a sudden I felt a bit sweaty in my Disney pyjamas that had seen better days. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ears, wishing I was looking more presentable, but I was smitten, and so it seemed, despite my somewhat unique appearance, was Tom Farley.

And he called me Charlie.

We stood there in momentary silence, breathing in and out, not having to say a word as the universe weaved its magic around us.

‘Why don’t you go get your guitar, Charlotte?’ Matthew suggested seconds later, with a cheeky grin on his face while emphasising my proper title. It was obviously OK for him to shorten my name, but not for anyone else, especially if it was meant in an endearing way. ‘Go on. Give us one of your country songs. No time like the present, is there?’

I took a long, deep breath through my nose then pursed my lips to consider the challenge. He was really trying to get rid of me now.

‘But I thought you were having a meeting?’ I said. ‘You know, about the band?’

‘We can wait,’ said Matthew. He had just scored a goal and he knew it. ‘You have time for a song, don’t you, Tom?’

Tom beamed that glowing smile at me again.

‘Of course I do,’ said Tom, not knowing if he was giving the right answer. ‘The others are running late so if you don’t mind, Charlie, I’d love to hear some of your work.’

My brother’s grin echoed his now, only Matthew’s was much wider and full of sarcasm as opposed to Tom’s smile of anticipation. He was really going for gold in the embarrassment stakes.

I weighed up my options for as long as I could get away with. I couldn’t do it. No way was I going to let myself down in front of my brother’s hot new band member by singing my cheesy lyrics of how I’d loved and lost (or thought I had) in my wonder years. I’d only written a handful of stuff and most of it was for my ears only. But then out of the blue something struck me. Something told me that I’d an opportunity to either make a fool out of myself or, on the other hand, to really impress this delight in front of me. Something told me to go for it that day, that in fact I’d nothing to lose, and I think that ‘something’ was the energy between me and Tom Farley. I had a feeling, despite my brother’s indifference, that Tom was going to like my humble efforts, even if my writing was in a genre that turned my brother’s stomach.

‘OK, I’ll do it,’ I said, surprising even myself. ‘I’ll sing you a song.’

‘What?’ Matthew burst out laughing and looked at Tom, but he wasn’t laughing at all. He was beaming in my direction, convincing me more that the sudden confidence within me was indeed coming from him. He was giving me strength to take a chance on this, to bare my soul and risk it that he might just like my music.

‘You go for it, girl,’ said Tom. His full lips looked so inviting. I could see his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed hard in my direction. ‘That’s just what I love to see – some good old pride and determination. I’m all ears and ready when you are.’

I stood up straight, and instead of scarpering off like a scared mouse as my brother hoped I would, I put my hand on my hip, took a deep breath and decided to go ahead and call Matthew’s bluff.

‘No problem at all,’ I said to them both. ‘You can get the drinks in, Matthew, while I go and get sorted. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be right back with a country song that will break both your little hearts.’

Tom Farley winked at me again and nodded his head in approval.

It was official. I was prime time in love.

ii

Twenty minutes later, now wearing my favourite retro flared pale blue jeans, a crisp, clean grey vest top and with my long, bleached curly hair hanging down round my shoulders, I strummed the last chord on my guitar.

The song I’d carefully chosen to sing for him was called ‘By Myself’ (a song I’d written about the very first break-up I’d experienced but he didn’t need to know that) and I’d picked it out from my humble collection knowing the deep rhythm and sultry lyrics would be just enough to get his attention.

As the final pluck of the guitar strings echoed around us in the little room, I waited for his reaction. I looked up slowly, half closed my eyes and, when I opened them, I realized my hands were shaking.

‘I can’t believe I remembered the words,’ I said, a string of apologies going through my head for making his ears bleed, but I was worrying in vain because when I looked in his direction, he didn’t look disappointed or bored at all. He was, in fact, wide-eyed in awe, shaking his head, looking at my face, then at my hands, then at my mouth, and back to my eyes.

‘Wow,’ he said eventually, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and then he applauded slowly. ‘I mean wow! I’m literally drooling here! That, young lady, was bloody awesome!’

We laughed in relief – at exactly the same time. And then we stopped laughing in disbelief – at exactly the same time. Matthew was not laughing.

‘Matthew Taylor, what the hell!’ said Tom. ‘Your little sister has absolute, magic in her words and melodies! Seriously!’

I smirked at Matthew, feeling his pain and discomfort at the tangible harmony and the intense meeting of minds that had beautifully backfired on him.

‘Well, I’m – I’m glad you think so,’ stuttered Matthew. ‘But you should try living with her. She’s—’

‘She’s incredible,’ Tom said, and I fleetingly felt sorry for Matthew who was so removed from this moment between us. ‘Matt, you told me she could sing but you didn’t tell me we’d the next Stevie Nicks on our hands! She even looks like her, too. And as for those lyrics! Did you write that, Charlie? Really?’

He called me Charlie again.

‘Yes, I wrote it. All of me, all by myself,’ I said to him, quoting my very own lyrics. I sat up straight and put down my guitar then flicked back my hair. It’s wonderful how a quick wash, a lick of mascara, a spray of perfume and a change of clothing can help up your game, plus I was feeding off his hunger and energy. ‘Oh, and Stevie Nicks? I’ll take that. Thank you, Tom.’

I should say that I absolutely loved that he called me Charlie and that I loved saying his name too. Tom. It was manly enough to make me flutter inside and if I was Stevie Nicks to him, to me he was a scruffy, unkempt young Bradley Cooper. Those eyes could stop the world.

Later I would look up the name Tom online to see what it meant and find out that it translated as ‘twin’, which wasn’t as romantic as I hoped it might be, but then I decided that he was my soul twin. Yes, I liked that. We were kindred spirits, meant to be.

‘I’d really like to hear more of your work,’ Tom said, still shaking his head in awe. ‘Please tell me there’s more where that came from?’

I gasped at his approval. No one had ever said that to me before. No one had ever really listened to my songs, not even my mother who, despite being quite cool in so many ways, was totally convinced that for me music was a hobby for behind closed doors and not something I would ever pursue in the real world. With a super-talented big brother like Matthew and a perfectly turned-out sister like Emily, I was never quite sure what to do to get my parents’ attention, and any efforts I made didn’t always turn out in my favour, you might say.

‘You sure you want to hear more?’ I asked Tom.

I was shaking inside but doing my best to look cool and confident on the outside.

‘For sure I’m sure!’ he said, standing up from the sofa. ‘Look, you need to get those songs out there, big time, Charlie.’

I could feel my brother wince every time he called me Charlie now. At home and to everyone I knew, I was Charlotte Jane Taylor, named after the Brontë sister of the same name and as a nod to my mother’s favourite novel of all time, Jane Eyre. My older sister was Emily Maria and Matthew James, the first born, often joked that he just about escaped being named Heathcliff as my dad got to choose his name.

‘I mean, why are you even busting your ass with university?’ Tom asked me. ‘You’re gifted, girl. You don’t need a degree! Your qualifications are all in there already.’

He pointed at his temple to emphasize how I already had all the accolades I needed in my creative brain.

‘But I’m going to be a teacher,’ I told him. ‘So, as much as I love what you’re saying, in the real world I kind of need a degree.’

Tom hunkered down in front of me and looked me right in the eye. His hands were on either side of me, on the arms of the chair. I could feel his breath on my skin. I could smell his woody, aromatic cologne. I thought I might explode.

‘No, no, no!’ he said, looking up at me. ‘You, Charlie Taylor, aren’t going to be a teacher. You are going to be a huge star.’

My heart rose into my mouth. He had a presence, a charm, and the electricity between us was filling me up and making me feel weak at the same time. He was so close to me now his arms were almost touching my legs.

And you’re going to be my muse, I wanted to say in return, wishing he would just stay there right in front of me forever.

He stood up, pushed his hair from his face and, when he sat down again on the couch, I silently thanked my brother for bringing Tom Farley into my life. He was everything. The way he looked at me and the way he just made me feel was nothing like I’ve ever felt before. I was dizzy with lust and sheer admiration. I was brimming with confidence, more than I’d ever been in my whole twenty-two years on this planet.

‘Go on, give us one more,’ said Tom, resting back on the sofa now. He put one leg across the other to show he was in no hurry whatsoever.

Matthew was almost green with envy.

‘It’s almost three thirty, Tom,’ he said, really peeved now. ‘We could make a start before the others arrive? I really want to go over some poster ideas for our new dates and we’ve a press pack to pull together.’

Matthew looked at his watch, but Tom was still looking at me.

‘I think we should wait on the others instead of having to repeat yourself, Matt,’ he said, grinning my way. ‘Plus, I want to see if Charlie is a one-hit wonder, or if there’s more to come from such a genius mind. Go on, give us one more song, Charlie.’

And so, I sang another one, and then another, neither of us noticing that Matthew had by now left the room, leaving us to it as we got lost in the music. I was singing for him. I was actually singing my very own songs for this beautiful stranger who was making me feel like I was the most important person in his world right now.

‘Hang on,’ Tom said while I was just about to finish a chorus. ‘Gimme that again.’

He grabbed my brother’s guitar from the corner of the room and strummed along with me, then harmonized when he caught on to the chorus. All the time when we sang together, our eyes were locked and I felt like my heart might burst.

‘Keep singing that part,’ he said to me at one point. ‘I wanna try something here.’

And so I did what he said and it made perfect sense. We were making music together. It was the most thrilling rush ever and this was shaping up to be the best day of my life.

‘You’ve blown my mind, Charlie,’ Tom said to me after the third song. He sat the guitar to the side and shook his head. ‘I could seriously listen to you, and look at you, all day. You’ve got it, Charlie. You’ve just got it!’

He was in genuine disbelief. I tried to absorb all this unexpected praise from him.

‘And you know what? The most beautiful thing is you have no freakin’ idea just how good you are!’

I tried to catch my breath in the intensity of it all as we stood there in the middle of this tiny, smelly, hormone-filled student sitting room, our breath patterns moving to the same rhythm. As Monday to Friday university accommodation to my brother, me and our friend Kirsty, the room had hosted many booze-filled parties and late nights over the past four years, but never had I experienced electricity in the air as I did right then with him.

‘You can sing too and play guitar as well as drums,’ I managed to stutter. ‘You’re a mighty fine talent in yourself, so I can’t take all the credit for what just happened.’

I tried to divert the compliment back to him, but he wasn’t having it.

‘No, no, Charlie Taylor. I can play, yes, but you have star quality. You’re on a totally different level and I don’t say that lightly. You’re amazing.’

My bottom lip quivered, and I pushed my hair behind my ears.

‘You really think so?’

‘I really know so,’ he said, holding my gaze. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at all this attention from someone so gorgeous and talented who seemed to be so much in awe of me.

Matthew had always been known as the creative one in our family. He was the colourful one who wanted to sing in a band as well as study to be an architect, so he was the one we all looked up to, cheering him on along the way. I was going to be a teacher and any musical notions I had were brushed under the carpet when we were growing up. It just wasn’t how my family saw me. Matthew was the cool, talented one, Emily was the middle child, the quiet, sensible one who obeyed all the rules, and I was the quirky, hippy dippy baby, the rebellious clever kid, and the one with brains to burn whose way with words would be best suited to a classroom where others would benefit from my wisdom. I just dressed a little funny and sometimes found myself in hot water, but that could all be fixed. Or so my parents hoped.

‘I’ve never properly sung these songs for anyone before,’ I confessed to Tom. It was dropping dark now outside, so I walked past him and pulled the curtains closed.

He gently took my hand on the way back.

‘You have magic, I mean it,’ he whispered. ‘Please believe me, Charlie. You can’t ignore what happened just now.’

We stood there, frozen in the moment. I could barely catch my breath.

‘I think I’m going to get you into trouble,’ I told him.

His eyes widened. ‘I think so too,’ he said.

‘With the band, I mean!’ I retorted quickly. ‘I mean, I hope I don’t get you into trouble with the band. Sounds like the others are here now.’

Our hands parted and he rubbed his forehead, which told me he’d been thinking of a totally different kind of trouble.

‘Yeah, yeah, the band. That’s what you meant,’ he said, then looked at the ceiling and blew out a long breath.

That accent of his was a killer and could get me into trouble any day, I thought. I closed my eyes for a second. I wanted him to reach out and touch me again, to tell me that he didn’t care if he got into trouble. He said I had magic. He said I was amazing. He said so many things I’d never been told before and I wanted to pause this moment so that we didn’t have to just leave it at this.

I wanted more of Tom Farley and when I opened my eyes I could see from the pain in his face that he wanted more of me, too.

‘I suppose I should make a move,’ he said, but his eyes told me he didn’t want to go. I didn’t want him to go either.

Now that we’d stopped singing, I could hear the rest of the band members chatting in the kitchen. Matthew was going to kill me. Not only had I taken up so much of Tom’s time and attention, but I’d also taken over the living room with our unplanned mini concert which was totally stealing his thunder.

Tom whispered to me.

‘Look, Charlie, between you and me,’ he said. ‘I know some people who aren’t a million miles away right now who would die to have just an ounce of the talent you have. You can’t just hide these songs away or ignore this gift you have. You must send your songs out to some record companies. Believe me, you’d be signed up in seconds.’

Record companies? I’d never even thought of doing such a thing, yet I felt a wave of imagination flood my mind. I laughed out loud at the idea.

‘You mean, do this for a living?’ I asked him. ‘Write songs? As a job?’