Published by Avon an imprint of
HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
1 London Bridge Street,
London, SE1 9GF
First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers 2019
Copyright © Bella Osborne 2018
Cover illustration © Kim Leo
Cover design © Cherie Chapman Book Design 2018
Bella Osborne asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Source ISBN: 9780008258221
Ebook Edition © April 2019 ISBN: 9780008258207
Version: 2019-02-12
For Patty – with love.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Keep Reading …
About the Author
Also by Bella Osborne
About the Publisher
Anna knew she was blinking more times than was necessary but Sophie’s words had stunned her. She never believed Sophie would ever actually leave Dave. Sure, they annoyed the crap out of each other, but that was normal for them. She shut her front door behind her and licked her lips as she tried to think of the appropriate thing to say.
‘Well, say something,’ said Sophie, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks.
Anna stepped forward and enveloped her friend in a tight hug and held her until the crying had subsided. Anna could foresee it being a long evening where Sophie would offload all her woes about Dave and his PhD-level uselessness whilst Anna nodded in the right places and then Sophie went home to shout at Dave a bit more. Anna held her at arm’s length. ‘I’m going to make us ridiculously calorific hot chocolates and then you’re going to tell me all about it. Okay?’
Sophie bobbed her head. ‘I’ll finish unpacking while you get the drinks.’ Anna looked like she’d stepped into a revolving door the wrong way – confused and slightly stunned. She opened her mouth but no words came out. Sophie disappeared into Anna’s spare room.
Anna had a number of conversations in her head whilst she was making the hot chocolate, most of them ending in ‘… but you’re not actually moving out. Are you?’ although the fact Sophie was unpacking her stuff and neatly folding it into Anna’s IKEA chest of drawers told her it wasn’t going to be straightforward. Anna stared at the hot chocolates and for the first time in a very long while she wished they had been alcoholic. She scattered some mini marshmallows on top, took the laden mugs into the living room and waited for Sophie. Maurice stretched out on the sofa next to Anna and gave her arm a pat with his paw. She absent-mindedly stroked him and he started to purr like a small motor.
Sophie came in and flopped into the chair opposite. ‘Right, the case is unpacked. I’ll go back for more stuff tomorrow. Thanks for this. Yum,’ she said, picking up the mug.
Anna wasn’t sure how best to tackle this. ‘When you say, you’ve left Dave …’
Sophie pursed her lips. ‘I’ve had enough. Causing a scene with Hudson was absolutely the last straw.’ Sophie was resolute. Anna hadn’t seen her quite like this before.
‘But what about Arlo and Petal?’
‘Oh, I’m not leaving them.’ Anna did a sigh of relief followed by a sharp intake of breath and she almost inhaled a marshmallow. If she wasn’t leaving the children was she expecting to move them in too? Sophie continued. ‘I’m going to get up early so I’ll be there when they wake up and then they’re off on holiday with the Kraken for two weeks.’
Anna was hugely relieved about this. She’d forgotten Karen was taking the children away for a while. ‘It might do you both good to have two weeks together without the children.’
Sophie was already shaking her head. ‘No way. I can’t do this any more.’ Her voice cracked and she pulled a tissue from her pocket and blew her nose loudly. ‘This isn’t what I wanted, Anna. I wasn’t meant to end up like this. I don’t know how it happened.’ She looked wretched sitting crossed-legged in the chair with her swollen belly stretching her top to the max. She was six months pregnant and she looked it. ‘I had plans … big plans. I was going to go places … see stuff. Not stay in the Midlands and wipe bums for the rest of my life.’
Anna put down her drink and went and gave Sophie another hug. She hated to see her like this. ‘What needs to change to make you happy again?’
Sophie sniffed. ‘Swapping Dave for Hudson would be a start.’ She gave a hiccup of a laugh.
‘You’d soon get fed up with his pretty face and perfect body. Yuk.’ Anna gave a pretend shudder, passed Sophie back her hot chocolate and Sophie gave a brief smile. ‘And I bet he leaves wet towels on the floor too.’
‘If it means he’s walking around naked, that’s fine with me.’ Sophie sipped her hot chocolate and gave herself a creamy moustache. ‘Hmmm,’ she said contentedly and Anna wasn’t sure if it was the hot chocolate or the thought of a naked Hudson making her emit the happy sound.
‘Dave isn’t all bad, though. I’m sure we can come up with a list of his good points.’ Anna scanned the room for a pen and paper. She had various ways to solve problems.
‘I’m not workshopping my marriage,’ said Sophie emphatically.
‘Fair enough.’ She had a point. ‘How about Relate counselling?’ Sophie shook her head. ‘Then how do we resolve this?’
‘I don’t think we can,’ said Sophie and she sniffed back more tears.
Anna’s phone pinged and she quickly scanned the message. Thanks for a great evening. Hope you got home safe. C.
Anna couldn’t hide the small smile before her eyes darted back to Sophie. Sophie was watching her. ‘It’s just Connor. Carry on,’ said Anna, gesturing with her hand.
‘I’m such a rubbish friend. You had your first date in like forever and I forgot to ask you how it went.’ Sophie’s forlorn expression reflected her slumped body language.
Anna waved the comment away. ‘Doesn’t matter.’
‘No, come on. I need cheering up. Tell me what you found out about the mysterious Connor.’ Sophie seemed to perk up. She tucked her feet underneath her and eyed Anna expectantly.
‘He’s two years younger than me, he works with mobile phones, lives in Coleshill and is close to his mum.’ Anna was pleased with her summary.
‘Come on I need more info.’ Sophie pouted. ‘What’s he look like? Did you get a photo?’
Anna pulled a face. ‘No, how weird would that have been?’ Sophie opened her mouth but closed it again. ‘He’s tall …’
‘Everyone is tall from the angle you view them.’
Anna stuck her tongue out and continued. ‘He looks younger than he is. He was clean and tidy … He was quite shy but he was nice.’
‘Nice?’ It was Sophie’s turn to pull a face. ‘Not rip-his-clothes-off sexy? Or pant-wettingly funny? Or awe-inspiringly clever?’
Anna realised it wasn’t the biggest compliment. ‘I liked him, he was …’ she paused to stop herself repeating nice ‘… pleasant.’
‘Ouch. Pleasant is worse than nice. He sounds as exciting as an out-of-date ready meal. No spark then?’ Sophie looked disappointed.
‘Not necessarily, but that’s not always instant. And even if it is, does it make for a lasting relationship?’
‘He was ugly,’ concluded Sophie and Anna swiped her with a cushion. Anna had been quite happy with the evening until now but she had to admit there had been little in the way of attraction between them. Maybe it would take a few more dates. Question was, was it worth finding out? They sipped their hot chocolates in silence as their thoughts wandered off.
Next morning Sophie had left by the time Anna stirred. She had a quick squiz around the spare bedroom in the hope Sophie had had a rethink during the night but whilst the bed was made her empty case was still there and her hastily grabbed things were still in the wardrobe. Anna sighed and she and Maurice padded through to the kitchen to get breakfast. Something caught Anna’s eye, a small brownish something with a tail balancing on the edge of Maurice’s food bowl.
‘Maurice,’ she whispered, pointing at the mouse. It was completely still, like a tiny statue. Maurice flopped on the floor and rolled over. Then all at once he spotted the mouse and the chase was on. Maurice landed in the food bowl sending the dry food inside catapulting across the kitchen floor. The mouse scurried along the line of the cabinets and disappeared into the hall at lightning speed. Maurice skidded on the laminate floor as he tried to turn quickly and went careering after the mouse. Anna grabbed a tea towel and followed the trail of destruction as cushions flew and vases and photo frames wobbled.
Maurice finally cornered the mouse in the spare room. It was cowering next to Sophie’s open case, trying to do a good impression of a luggage wheel. Anna scooped up a surprised and unimpressed Maurice, plonked him in the hall and shut the door. In one fluid movement she dropped the tea towel on the mouse, wrapped it up, bundled it into the case and shut the lid. She’d deal with it after she’d had breakfast and a shower.
As the suds soothed Anna’s shoulders, she planned herself a quiet evening in front of the telly and an early night. She needed some time to give the Sophie and Dave situation some serious thought. It worried her that Sophie hadn’t relented and gone home last night. This was far more serious than Anna had wanted to admit. They needed their heads banging together. She loved them both and she was convinced this wasn’t really the end of their relationship; she just had to work out a way of convincing Sophie that was the case.
A piercing shriek made her jolt. Sophie was back. Anna didn’t rush from the shower – she could work out that Sophie must have found the mouse. Uncharitably she wondered if a free-running mouse might be enough to send Sophie back to Dave.
A day of back-to-back meetings was finished off with her one-to-one session with Liam. So far she had failed to get any useful information out of him but she was hoping she might be able to today. Anna brought the coffees and would have liked a little more gratitude than ‘Ta’ from Liam for the large expensive shop-bought variety with an extra shot and syrup just how he liked it. She answered his first few questions about the programme and while he jotted some notes she decided to ask a few of her own.
‘How’s Tabitha?’ She prepared a lovely sweet smile for when he looked up, which he did very slowly, like a soldier looking over a trench.
‘I’m sure she’s fine but we’re not together any more.’
Anna changed her smile to what she hoped was a surprised but sympathetic guise. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Really.’
‘It was fun but you know?’
She didn’t and she didn’t want to know either. ‘You’ll be delivering your verdict soon then,’ she said. Liam merely glanced up. ‘When are you presenting it?’
Liam put his pen down. ‘No date as yet.’
‘Big changes then, I guess.’ She maintained eye contact.
‘You’ll be looking to move jobs soon, won’t you?’ he asked.
Anna didn’t like the way he said it. Was he trying to imply she’d need to move soon? ‘Nope. I love working here. I’m planning on staying.’
Liam’s eyebrows twitched up a fraction. Bugger, she thought. She doubted she’d be featuring on any structure charts he was drawing up.
Liam picked up his pen and twirled it nonchalantly as if he was considering something. ‘I could give you the inside track if you like?’
This is easy, thought Anna. ‘That’d be great.’ She leaned forward in her seat, keen to grasp every snippet.
Liam chewed the side of his mouth, gave a slow blink. ‘Though I’d need something in return, obviously …’
Okay, not so easy after all, thought Anna. She could feel her neck prickle with sweat. Was this a trap to see if she’d reveal something she shouldn’t? But then Roberta had said to give every cooperation to Liam and she wasn’t aware anything was off limits. Too many thoughts overloaded her brain at once. She snatched up her coffee and took a swig but the lid wasn’t on properly and she tipped a slug of it all down herself.
‘Bugger!’ Anna hurriedly pulled tissues from her pocket and tried to mop up the worst of it. ‘How I missed my mouth, I’ll never know,’ she said, trying to hide her fluster levels.
‘You okay?’ he asked.
‘No, I’m not really comfortable with the whole “I’ll need something in return” scenario.’ She was feeling brave and she liked Liam’s surprised expression.
‘Oh, I meant … the coffee.’ They both swallowed and looked uncomfortable. ‘It’s nothing prohibited. I just wondered what your thoughts are on … us?’
Anna’s hand wobbled and she returned her cup to the safety of the table for fear of a second dousing. She narrowed her eyes as she stared at him for a moment. Was he joking?
‘Umm, I don’t know what you mean, Liam.’
Liam stretched his legs out, dug his heels into the carpet tiles near to Anna and pulled himself and his wheelie chair up close to her. ‘I’ve tried hard to ignore it. But being around you … I think we acted too hastily when we said it was over.’ He gave a practised smile and Anna almost laughed.
‘Now you’re joking. Aren’t you?’ She still wasn’t sure.
‘No.’ His forehead puckered. ‘I spoke to Hudson and I didn’t get the feeling he saw you as anything more than a fling.’ Anna was momentarily offended and then she remembered and gave herself a shake. ‘Anna, you and I were great together. I’m willing to give our relationship another go if you are.’ There was that smile again.
‘Bugger me,’ said Anna. Liam gave a lascivious look and opened his mouth. ‘Don’t even go there,’ she said, her tone harsh.
He leaned a fraction closer and went to take her hand. ‘What do you think?’
Derision slid across Anna’s face. ‘Liam, I think you are a supercilious shit, beyond deluded, and so far up your own bottom you’re inside out. And not only is my mind thinking “no”, it’s screaming it.’
For once Anna had said what she thought and it felt great. Liam’s face was a picture but Anna feared she may have just sealed her redundancy. She raised an eyebrow, stood up and left.
Anna was sitting in the communal lounge with Bert. It was good to see him being a bit more sociable rather than shutting himself away in his room. They both had large takeaway cups of coffee and sipped them in unison.
‘What’s new?’ asked Anna.
‘These bloomin’ chairs for starters,’ said Bert, wriggling himself about in the large armchair. Anna realised the room was filled with them. All in dark green, very uniform and inoffensive.
‘Are they uncomfortable?’
‘Hmm, it’s not like the old chair I used to sit in. I liked that one better.’ He gave an uncharacteristic pout.
‘Us humans aren’t good with change. I’m sure you’ll get used to it.’
He nodded but was still pouting. ‘How’s Maurice? Has he brought you any presents?’ he asked.
‘He’s excellent, thanks. He’s brought me a few mice.’
Bert brightened. ‘Oh, that’s just the start.’ He chuckled to himself.
‘I’ve bought him some sponge balls to play with instead,’ said Anna hopefully.
Anna hadn’t been to visit for a while so she had lots to update Bert on. It was like bringing someone up to speed on a long-running soap opera when they’d missed a few episodes.
When she’d finished Bert nodded sagely. ‘On my reckoning that makes three.’
‘Three what?’
‘Young men who are after courting you.’
Anna shook her head. ‘No, just Connor and Liam. And seeing as Liam has already let me down and I am very much over him, it leaves Connor.’ She’d only met Connor once, and they’d spoken on the phone a couple of times since. They were taking things very slowly at her request, but so far, so good.
Bert was frowning hard. ‘But what about the American?’
‘Hudson. He never was in the running.’
Bert relaxed back into his chair and breathed out slowly. ‘At first you hated Hudson because he was doing your job.’
‘Hate’s a little harsh …’
Bert gave a slow nod. ‘You disliked Hudson at first. Then the two of you clubbed together against Liam. You seemed to be close through the summer until you found out he wasn’t in a homosexual relationship …’ Anna noticed a few heads turn in their direction but Bert was unaware so he continued. ‘So how has finding out he’s not gay put you off him?’
Anna opened her mouth. ‘I was never on him!’ Realising what she’d said and the sound of hearing aids being turned up she decided a more carefully considered reply might be better. Bert did have a good point. ‘The thing with Hudson is I liked him as a friend. As a gay friend, I guess. And now he’s not my gay friend it all feels a bit weird.’ It was the truth. She had relaxed into an easy friendship with him knowing there would never be anything else between them. It had been safe and comfortable and there was no pressure to be anything other than herself around a very good-looking man without worrying about her behaviour and, if she was being honest, how she looked. Now she wasn’t sure what their relationship was. They were still rubbing along okay at work but things did feel different between them. She finished her coffee and put the cup down.
‘This Connor chap then. Too good to be true?’ asked Bert.
Anna was taken by surprise by the comment and a snort of a giggle escaped. ‘I don’t know. He seems nice enough.’
‘Nice?’ Bert pulled a face. He was as judgemental as Sophie over her word choice.
‘Yes, nice is a good thing. I like him.’
‘Hmm,’ said Bert, feeling for the table to put his cup on. ‘If I ask you a few questions you have to answer honestly with which of the two men pops into your mind. Okay?’
‘Not really. It sounds like being on Jeremy Kyle.’
‘I can’t stand him, the whining West Ham supporter. Come on, humour an old man,’ said Bert, shuffling to the edge of the seat.
Anna let out a loud sigh. ‘O-kay.’ She closed her eyes and concentrated. ‘Ready.’
‘Going to the cinema.’
‘Connor. Hudson and I can’t decide on anything.’
‘Trapped in a lift together.’
Anna was tempted to ask what floor they were on: if it was high up in one of those glass ones she’d probably pass out anyway so it wouldn’t matter who she was with. Connor would be calmer than Hudson but Hudson was a better talker. ‘Hudson, if we’re going to be stuck for anything over half an hour.’
‘Have a row with.’
‘Hmm, Hudson. I don’t think I could have a row with Connor.’ Her lips lifted at the edges as she thought of how easy-going Connor was.
‘Dress shopping.’
‘Connor. Hudson doesn’t have the patience.’
‘Be silly with.’
Anna paused. She was going to say Connor again but she couldn’t recall laughing with him like she could remember laughing with Hudson. ‘Either.’
‘No. That’s not the game. Choose one.’
‘Okay. Hudson, I think.’
‘Tickle fight.’
‘Tickle fight?’ Anna’s eyes popped open.
‘Yep. Imagine having a tickle fight. Who is it you’re fighting with?’
The image was already in her mind and it confused her. ‘Hudson. Why?’
A satisfied smile crept onto Bert’s lips. ‘You know tickle fights always end in a kiss?’
‘Err, I think that’s the end of that game,’ said Anna, suddenly flustered.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.’ Bert reached out a hand and Anna took it.
‘You are cheeky.’
‘No point getting old if you don’t get crafty,’ said Bert, and they both laughed. But he had sown some seeds for Anna to dig about in. ‘Now, there’s someone I’d like you to meet. Rosie, are you there?’
A perky little lady almost sprang from a nearby armchair and Anna realised she must have been watching them all this time. ‘Yes, Bert. Are you okay?’
‘I’m fine. I’d like you meet a friend of mine. This is Anna,’ he said, pointing in her general direction and smiling proudly. Anna felt a warm glow of affection for the old man. ‘Nice to meet you, Rosie,’ she said, shaking the bony hand.
‘And you, dear. He talks about you and Maurice all the time. And all the men in your life. It seems very exciting.’
‘She exaggerates,’ said Bert, a little flushed.
‘So does he,’ said Anna, wagging a finger at Bert.
Sophie had been having the same conversation for what felt like slightly longer than forever when Anna pulled up. Hopefully she’d be able to make sense of whatever Mrs Nowakowski was going on about.
Mrs Nowakowski was now waving her arms frantically. ‘D’ese is not that sort of neighbourhood. You look like you’re advertising burdel. Shame on you!’
‘What’s the matter?’ asked Anna, butting in.
They both started to speak at once and Anna held up her hands to stop them. ‘Sophie, hang on.’ Anna gave her best ‘bear with me’ face before turning to the older woman. ‘Mrs Nowakowski, what seems to be the problem?’
‘You make this nice place look like burdel. That is problem.’ She crossed her arms and gave a sharp nod of her head.
‘I think she means brothel.’ Sophie dissolved into giggles and felt the baby kick in response.
‘Why? What have we done?’ asked Anna.
‘The bra hanging in your window.’ Mrs Nowakowski pointed round to the side of the building where Anna’s lounge window was. Anna walked round and as the laughter died Sophie followed. When they reached the window the three women stopped and stared at the large bright red bra hanging there.
Anna looked at Sophie and gave a tip of her head. ‘What?’ said Sophie. ‘It’s not mine.’
Anna unfolded her arms and pointed to her chest. ‘Well, it’s definitely not mine!’ Anna was grinning.
‘Is it the international symbol for brothel?’ asked Anna.
‘According to Mrs Nosy-kowski,’ whispered Sophie.
As the two friends descended into yet more giggles Mrs Nowakowski shook her head and went home. Eventually they realised they were alone and went inside. Anna tugged down the bra that was hooked over the handle of the window, shook her head and dropped the bra in the dirty clothes bin.
Sophie didn’t really understand why Anna had hung the bra up, but it had made her laugh and she had to admit it was like one of hers but she was wearing her big comfy maternity bras at the moment, so it couldn’t have been. She thought for a second how funny Dave would think it was, then remembered her situation. Suddenly emotion swamped her and she had to swallow hard to keep it in check. Perhaps the break from Dave was having a bigger impact on her than she cared to admit.
Anna made chicken Caesar salad for dinner and they ate it in silence, interrupted only by the pitiful begging mews of Maurice trying to snag a little chicken. He’d already wolfed down his own meal of Ocean fish in a light gravy but some days it was hard to fill him up. Anna was still smiling to herself about the bra. She had no idea why Sophie had hung it in the window unless it was purely to wind up Mrs Nowakowski. Sophie no longer looked amused. She was violently spearing croutons, making her current mood very apparent.
‘What’s up?’ asked Anna.
‘I had to say goodbye to the kids and I know they’re going to have an amazing time on holiday with Granny Kraken and it means I don’t have to go to Butlins but it still felt horrid.’
‘Were they okay?’
‘Oh, yeah. I think that made it worse. Arlo had a strop because we made him get out of the car to kiss us both goodbye and Petal happily waved and blew raspberries as she was driven away. They couldn’t have cared less. It was horrible.’
‘Kids take things in their stride. How was Dave?’
‘He wound me up. I came back here to escape and got hijacked by Mrs Nowakowski and bra-gate. I thought she was nice but today she really put the cow in Nowa—’
‘Now, now. She might have had a point. What did Dave do to wind you up?’
Sophie dropped her fork and it clattered onto her plate. Maurice gave her a haughty look at the disturbance. ‘Arlo brought home all his schoolbooks and I was looking through them. When I was away on the team event, Dave had to check Arlo’s homework. It was one sodding line, that was all, and he never bothered to check it.’ She was shaking her head.
‘What was wrong with it then?’
‘Arlo had written, “I love cock!” with an exclamation mark at the end. Which to be honest I thought was really advanced for his age …’
‘Cock?’ asked Anna, her face distorted with the effort of not laughing.
‘Yes. Obviously he meant Coke,’ said Sophie, giving her friend an old-fashioned look. ‘Which, more to the point, Dave shouldn’t have been letting him drink either. Anyway, his teacher had corrected it and put a smiley face …’
‘Dave’s a cock,’ said Anna, and Sophie nodded her agreement. They looked at each other across the small table and dissolved into hysterics.
When they were all called together for a 9 a.m. briefing they knew it would be Liam’s presentation and there he was standing at the front of the room looking smug. Liam watched her walk in but his expression remained fixed. Bugger, thought Anna. She’d already calculated her redundancy. It wasn’t a lot, but it should mean she wouldn’t have to look for something until the new year, which was a bonus. Perhaps she’d take herself off for a holiday.
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