Kitabı oku: «Suddenly Last Summer», sayfa 2

Kayla gave a faint smile, but didn’t argue. “I know how close you are to Walter. You don’t have to explain to me.”

“He is the nearest thing I have to family. And Jackson, of course. It makes me very happy to think he will marry you soon. And Elizabeth and dear Alice. And Tyler is like a brother to me, even though sometimes I want to punch him. It is normal for siblings to sometimes want to punch each other, I think. I love you all with every bone in my body.” The dark side of Élise’s life was carefully locked away in the past. Loneliness, fear and deep humiliation were a distant memory. She was safe here. Safe and loved.

“And Sean?” Kayla lifted an eyebrow. “Where does he fit into your adopted family? Presumably not as another brother.”

“No.” Just thinking about him made her heart race a little faster. “Not a brother.”

“So you won’t be telling him you love him? Aren’t you worried he might feel a little left out?”

Élise frowned. “You are not funny.”

“Is this a good time to warn you he’s coming home?”

“Of course he is coming home. He is an O’Neil. The O’Neils always stick together when there is trouble and Sean hasn’t been home for a while.”

And she was worried that was her fault.

Was it because of what had happened between them?

“So it isn’t going to feel awkward when he shows up?”

“Why would it feel awkward? Because of last summer? It was just one night. It’s not so hard to understand, is it? Sean is un beau mec.”

“He’s a what?”

“Un beau mec. A hot guy. Sean is very sexy. We are two adults who chose to spend a night together. We are both single. Why would it feel awkward?” It had been her idea of the perfect night. No ties. No complications. A decision she’d made with her head, not her heart. Never again would she allow her heart to be engaged.

No risks. No mistakes.

“So seeing him isn’t going to bother you?”

“Not at all. And it isn’t the first time. I saw him at Christmas.”

“And neither of you exchanged a single look or word.”

“Christmas is the busiest time of year for me. Do you know how many people I fed in the restaurant? I had more important things to worry about than Sean. And it is the same now. We probably won’t even have time to say hello. All he thinks about is work and I am the same. It is only a week until the Boathouse Café opens and at the moment it doesn’t have a deck.”

“Look, I know how much this project means to you—to all of us—but it is no one’s fault that Zach crashed his dirt bike.”

Élise scowled. “He is their cousin. Family. He should have shown more responsibility.”

“Distant cousin.”

“So what? He should have finished my deck before he crashed!”

“I’m sure that’s what he told the boulder that jumped into his path.” Kayla gave a fatalistic shrug. “He has O’Neil DNA. Of course he is going to indulge in dangerous sports and have accidents. Tyler says he’s lethal on a snowboard.”

“He should not have been indulging in anything lethal until my deck was finished!”

“So does that mean Zach has been struck off the list of people you love?”

“You make fun of me but it is important to tell people you love them.” It wasn’t just important to her, it was vital. Sadness seeped into her veins and she breathed deeply, trying to block the spread. Over the years she’d learned to control it. To keep it locked away so it didn’t interfere with her life. “I should never have let Walter step in. It is because of me he is lying there all full of tubes and needles and—”

“Stop!” Kayla pulled a face. “Enough.”

“It’s just that I keep imagining—”

“Well, don’t! Talk about something else?”

“We can talk about how I have ruined everything. The Boathouse Café is important for Snow Crystal. We have included the projected revenue in our forecasts. We have a party planned! And now it cannot happen.”

Frustrated with herself, Élise stood up and gazed across the lake, searching for calm. The evening sun sent flashes of gold and silver over the still surface of the lake. It was rare that she saw the place at this time of day. Usually she was in the restaurant preparing for the evening. The only time she sat on her own deck was in the dark when she returned in the early hours, or immediately on rising when she made herself a cup of freshly brewed coffee and sipped it in the dawn silence.

Morning was her favorite time of day in the summer, when the forest was still bathed by early morning mist and the sleepy sun had yet to burn off the fine cobweb of white shrouding the trees. It made her think of the curtain in the theatre, hiding the thrill of the main event from an excited audience.

Heron Lodge was small, just one bedroom and an open plan living area, but the size didn’t worry her. She’d grown up in Paris, in a tiny apartment on the Left Bank with a view over the rooftops and barely room to pirouette. At Snow Crystal she lived right on the lakeshore, her lodge sheltered by trees. At night in the summer she slept with the windows open. Even when it was too dark to see the view, there was beauty in the sounds. Water slapping gently against her deck, the whisper of a bird’s wing as it flew overhead, the low hoot of an owl. On nights when she was unable to sleep she lay for hours breathing in the sweet scents of summer and listening to the call of the hermit thrush and the chattering of the black-capped chickadees.

If she’d slept with her window open in Paris she would have been constantly disturbed by a discordant symphony of car horns punctuated by Gallic swearing as drivers stopped in the street to yell abuse at each other. Paris was loud and busy. A city with the volume fixed on maximum while everyone rushed around trying to be somewhere yesterday.

Snow Crystal was muted and peaceful. Never, in the turmoil of her past, had she imagined one day living in a place like this.

She knew how close the O’Neil family had come to losing it. She knew things were still far from secure and that losing it was still a very real possibility. She was determined to do everything she could to make sure that didn’t happen.

“Can you find me another carpenter? Are you sure you’ve tried everyone?”

“There is no one. Sorry.” Looking tired, Kayla shook her head. “I already made some calls.”

“In that case we are all doomed.”

“No one is doomed, Élise!”

“We will have to delay the opening and cancel the party. You have invited so many important people. People who could spread the word and help grow the business. Je suis désolée. The Boathouse is my responsibility. Jackson asked me for an opening date and I gave him one. I anticipated a busy summer. Now if Snow Crystal has to close we will all lose our jobs and our home and it will be my fault.”

“Don’t worry, with your talent for drama you could easily get a job on Broadway.” Kayla paced the deck, obviously thinking. “We could hold the party in the restaurant?”

“No. It was supposed to be a magical, outdoor evening that will showcase the charm of our new café. I have it all arranged—food, lights, dancing on the deck—the deck that isn’t finished!” Frustrated and miserable, Élise walked into her little kitchen and picked up the bag of food she’d packed for the family. “Let’s go. They’ve been at the hospital for hours. They will be hungry.”

As they walked along the lake path to the car, Élise thought again what a good thing it was that Jackson had employed Kayla. She’d arrived at Snow Crystal only six months earlier, the week before Christmas, to put together a public relations campaign that would boost the resort’s flagging fortunes. The intention had been that she would stay a week and then return to her high-powered job in New York, but that had been before she’d fallen in love with Jackson O’Neil.

Élise felt a rush of emotion.

Calm, strong Jackson. He was the reason she was here, living this wonderful life. He’d saved her. Rescued her from the ruins of her own life. He’d given her a way out from a problem of her own making, and she’d taken it. He was the only one who knew the truth about her. She owed him everything.

The Boathouse Café was a way of repaying him.

Élise had always known that Snow Crystal needed something more than the formal restaurant and the small, cramped coffee shop that had been part of the resort since it was built.

On her first stroll down to the lakeshore she’d seen the derelict boathouse and envisaged a café right on the water’s edge. Now her dream was almost reality. She’d worked with a local architect and together they’d created something that matched her vision and satisfied the planners.

The new café had glass on three sides so that no part of the view was lost to those dining indoors. During the winter the doors would be kept closed, but in the summer months when the weather allowed, the glass walls could be pulled back to allow guests to take maximum advantage of the breathtaking position.

In the summer most of the tables would be set on the wide deck, a sun-trap that stretched across the water. The building should have been finished in June, but bad weather had delayed essential work and then Zach had crashed the bike.

Kayla slid behind the wheel and drove carefully out of the resort. “How long do you think Sean will stay?”

“Not long.”

And that suited her perfectly.

They probably wouldn’t even have any time alone together and she wasn’t going to worry about something that didn’t represent a threat.

Sean was entertaining company, charming and yes, insanely sexy, but her emotions weren’t engaged. And they never would be. Never again.

Memories slid into her, dark and oppressive and she gave a little shiver and stared hard at the forest, reminding herself that she was in Vermont, not Paris. This was her home now.

And it wasn’t as if she was living without love.

She had the O’Neils. They were her family.

That thought stayed in her head as they arrived at the hospital and it was still in her head as Kayla walked into Jackson’s arms.

She saw Kayla reach out her hand and curl her fingers into Jackson’s. Saw her friend rise up on the balls of her feet and brush her lips over his in a kiss that somehow managed to be both discreet and intimate. In that moment she’d ceased to exist for either of them. Their emotions were definitely engaged.

Witnessing it robbed her of breath.

She felt a pang and looked away quickly.

She didn’t want that.

“I will go and see Walter and drop off this food while you two catch up. Give me the keys, Kayla.” She held out her hand. “You can go home with Jackson later. I will try to persuade Alice to come back with me now.”

She didn’t succeed. Walter looked pale and fragile and when she eventually left the room it was with the image of Alice, his wife of sixty years, sitting by his side with her hand on his, her knitting abandoned in her lap as if by holding hands they might prevent their life together from unraveling.

All Alice had talked about was Sean. Her belief in her grandson’s ability to perform miracles was as touching as it was worrying.

Élise was on her way out of the hospital when she saw him.

He walked with confidence and authority, comfortable in the sterile atmosphere of the high-tech medical facility. The well-cut suit and pristine white shirt couldn’t conceal the width of his shoulders or the leashed power of his body, and her heart gave a little dance in her chest.

Despite the air-conditioning, her skin heated.

It had been just one night, but it wasn’t a night she was likely to forget and she doubted he would, either.

Like her, Sean had no interest in forming deep romantic relationships. His job demanded control and emotional detachment. The fact that he applied the same rules to his personal life had made everything simple.

She walked briskly across the foyer toward him, determined to prove to herself and anyone who happened to be watching that this meeting wasn’t awkward. “Sean—” she rose on tiptoe, placed her hand on his shoulder and kissed him on both cheeks. “Ça va? I’m so sorry about Walter. You must be out of your mind worried.”

It was fine. Not awkward at all. Maybe her English wasn’t as fluent as usual, but that sometimes happened when she was tired or stressed.

As her cheek brushed against the roughness of his jaw she was almost knocked flat by a rush of sexual chemistry. Rocked off-balance, she tightened her fingers on his shoulder, feeling the thickness of muscle through the fabric of his suit. If she moved slightly to the left she’d be kissing his mouth and it shocked her just how much she wanted to do that.

Sean’s head turned slightly. His gaze met hers and for a moment she was mesmerized.

His eyes were the same startling blue as his twin brother’s but she’d never felt anything this dangerously potent when dealing with Jackson. Some people might have waxed lyrical about blue skies or sapphires but for her those eyes were all about sex. For a moment she forgot the people around them, forgot everything except the sexual energy and memories of that one night. She hadn’t closed her eyes and neither had he. Through the whole breath-stealing madness of it, they’d held that connection and it was all she could think of as she lowered her heels to the floor and stepped back.

Her heart was racing. Her mouth was dry. It took all her willpower to let go of his shoulder. “How was your journey?”

“I’ve had worse.”

“Have you eaten? I brought food. Alice has the bag.”

“I don’t suppose that bag contains a good Pinot Noir?”

It was a typically Sean response.

Even in a crisis he projected calm. It washed over her, as welcoming as cool air in a heat wave and for the first time since that awful moment when Walter had collapsed at her feet she felt her mood lift slightly. It was as if someone had taken off some of the weight she’d been carrying.

“No Pinot Noir. But there is homemade lemonade.”

“Oh, well, a guy can’t have everything. If you made it, I’m sure it’s good.” He loosened his tie with long, strong fingers, cool and composed, and she wondered if he remembered it had been Pinot Noir they’d drunk that night. “Where is the rest of my family?”

“They’re with your grandfather.”

“How is he?” His voice was gruff, those thick dark lashes failing to conceal the concern in his eyes. “Any change?”

“He looks frail. I hope the doctors know what they’re doing.”

“It’s a good hospital. And how are you?” He caught her chin in his fingers and turned her face to him. “You look like hell.”

“Is that your medical opinion?”

“It’s the opinion of a friend. If you’re asking me as a doctor I’ll have to bill you—” his hand dropped and he tilted his head as he calculated “—let’s say, six hundred dollars. You’re welcome.”

Her heart rate slowly returned to normal. “You trained all those years to tell people they look like hell?”

“It’s a vocation.” He was smiling, too, and that smile made her heart kick hard against her ribs.

“And there I was congratulating myself on looking good in a crisis.” She’d forgotten how easy it was to relax with him. He was easy to talk to and charming. And dangerously attractive.

“I have to go. I need to see Grams.”

“She won’t leave his side and she’s exhausted. She thinks you’re going to be able to perform a miracle.”

“I’ll go to her right now.” His hard features softened fractionally as he spoke of his grandmother. “You’re driving back to Snow Crystal?”

“I just wanted to see him for a few minutes, keep Kayla company and bring food.”

“You still haven’t told me how you are.” Sean’s gaze didn’t shift from her face. “You’re very close to Gramps.”

How was she?

The person she loved most in the world was in the hospital and the Boathouse still wasn’t finished and wasn’t going to open on time.

There would be no opening party. She’d let Jackson down.

She’d had bad days before, but this had been the king of bad days.

But Sean didn’t need to hear that. Their relationship didn’t involve cozy confidences.

“I’m fine,” she lied. “It’s different for me. I am not family. Although I’d also like you to perform a miracle if you have time.”

“I think my grandfather would be the first to dispute that you’re not family.”

“Walter would dispute anything. You know how he loves to argue. He is my perfect man. I love him so much.”

“Now you’ve broken my heart.”

She knew he was joking. Sean was too busy with his career to be interested in a relationship, and that suited her just fine.

“I will see you soon.”

“Are you safe to drive home?” He caught her wrist and pulled her back to him and just for a moment, standing toe-to-toe with him, she forgot the people around her.

“Of course.” She was torn between being touched that he’d noticed how badly affected she was and appalled that she was so easy to read. Why couldn’t she be cool and enigmatic like Kayla? “It has been a long day, that’s all.”

He gave her a long, searching look and then let go of her wrist. “Drive carefully.”

As she walked to the car, she congratulated herself on how well she’d handled that encounter. No one watching would have guessed that they’d once generated enough heat to melt a frozen ice cap.

They had their feelings under control.

There was nothing about Sean O’Neil that threatened her life here.

When it came to love, she was invulnerable.

CHAPTER TWO

“THE PRODIGAL GRANDSON RETURNS.” A familiar voice came from behind him and Sean turned to find Tyler standing there holding two cups of coffee.

He took one without invitation. “Didn’t realize the whole family was here.”

“They are now that you walked through the door and that’s Jackson’s coffee you’re drinking. You look like a banker, not a doctor. What happened to the scrubs?”

“I wear those when I’m operating. The rest of the time I wear a suit.”

“Why? So you can charge more?” The banter did nothing to disguise the tension in Tyler’s shoulders and Sean felt a rush of concern.

“This may come as a surprise to you given your TV viewing preferences, but most people don’t like doctors covered in blood.” He took a sip of coffee, coughed and handed it straight back to his brother. “That is disgusting.”

“Straight from the machine, the way you hate it. That’s your punishment for stealing something that wasn’t yours in the first place. Believe me, when you’ve been in this place all day it tastes like nectar.”

“How’s the leg?”

“Behaving. I never thought I’d say this, but it’s good to see you.” Tyler gave a laugh. “Listen to me, getting all mushy on you.”

“Yeah, suddenly I’m worried.”

“Don’t be. The only reason I’m pleased to see you is because now you can do the boring incomprehensible bit of talking to the doctors and I can focus my attention on more important things.”

“Would those more important things be female?”

“They might be. Was that Élise I saw leaving? Did you know she was with Gramps when he collapsed?”

“Jackson told me. She didn’t mention it.” Which, now that he thought about it, was a little strange.

What had they talked about?

All he could remember was the brush of her cheek against his, the silk of her hair and the scent that had slid into his veins like a drug. And the chemistry. Always the chemistry, simmering in the background like a summer heat wave.

The doors to the nearest elevator opened and Sean saw Jackson standing there with Kayla.

“Élise texted me to tell me you were here. We weren’t expecting you for another hour at least.”

“I may have broken a few speed limits.” Sean wondered how long it had been since his twin had slept. “Any change?”

“Not that I can tell, but I’m not the doctor. It’s hard to get information from anyone. For all I know they might be useless at their jobs. You need to speak to them.”

“I called from the car. This place has one of the highest heart attack survival rates in the country. They took him straight to the cath lab for balloon inflation and stenting. They had him out of the E.R. in seventeen minutes. That’s impressive.” It came as a relief to discover that even though he was affected personally, the doctor in him was still able to detach and analyze.

Jackson glanced at Tyler, who shrugged.

“Don’t look at me. I never understand a word he says. It’s all those books he reads. Don’t suppose his patients understand him, either, but they’re probably reassured by the expensive suit and the astronomical fees he charges.”

It was a relief to relax with his brothers for five minutes. “You could wear a suit occasionally, Ty. If you tidied yourself up you might even get laid.”

“The reason I’m not getting laid is because my teenage daughter is living with me. I’m a shining example of parenthood.”

Sean grinned. “It must be killing you.”

Jackson intervened before the conversation could degenerate. “Can we focus on Gramps for a moment? Explain again, and this time use plain language.”

“The artery was blocked, so they unblocked it by inflating a balloon against the artery wall and inserting a stent, like mesh, to hold it open—” Sean used his hands to demonstrate. “All the studies show that if they can do that within ninety minutes of the original attack, there is a better chance of survival and fewer complications. Time from the onset of symptoms to reperfusion is an important predictor of outcome.”

Jackson pressed a button on the elevator and the doors closed. “I asked for plain language.”

“That was plain language.”

Tyler rolled his eyes. “If he ever gives us the complicated version I’m going to need a large drink.”

Jackson was frowning. “So is that good news?”

Relatively speaking.

Sean decided they didn’t need to know all the potential outcomes. “How did it start? Was Gramps sick? Did he have chest pain?”

“According to Élise, one minute he was standing up, the next minute he was on the ground.” Jackson watched as the buttons illuminated one by one, stopping at what felt like every floor to let people in and out. “He was working on the deck of the old boathouse.”

“Why?”

“We’re converting it into a café.” It was Jackson’s turn to sound irritable. “Don’t you read your emails?”

“I get a ton of emails. So why was Gramps doing the work?”

“Because there wasn’t anyone else. We’re stretched to the limit. Gramps wanted to help and I don’t have the luxury of being able to stop him, even supposing I could. Everyone has been doing what they can to keep the place afloat.”

Everyone except him.

Sean stared straight ahead, feeling the guilt cover him like sweat. He was the only one not doing anything to stop the family business from sinking.

He turned his head to speak to Jackson and wished he hadn’t because his brother was kissing Kayla. A slow, lingering kiss that had as much eye contact as lip contact.

Immediately he thought of Élise. Of that single, hot night the summer before.

The night neither of them had ever mentioned.

He looked away. “Could you put each other down just for two minutes so we can focus here?”

“You’re witnessing true love,” Tyler drawled, “and it’s a beautiful thing.”

“Sorry, but it’s been a tough day and we don’t see that much of each other.” Kayla rested her head on Jackson’s shoulder. “But that’s going to change soon. One more week!”

Sean frowned. “You’ve given up your job in New York?”

“Yes. I’m going to be working and living here full-time. You knew I was doing that.” Kayla twisted the engagement ring on her finger. “I told you at Christmas.”

At Christmas he’d been focused on surviving three days of living in close quarters with his family without revealing the rift with his grandfather. He’d given virtually no thought to the way anyone else was feeling.

“Right. I guess I lost track of time.”

So Kayla was giving up her life to come and live here at Snow Crystal. Another person sacrificing everything for love. What the hell was he supposed to say to that?

Congratulations?

Have you thought this through?

What happens when you wake up and start resenting everything you gave up to live here?

“I hope you’ll both be very happy.”

“We are and we will be.” Jackson looped his arm around Kayla’s shoulders. “Ignore him. He’s just jealous. He can’t keep a woman long enough to learn her name, that’s his problem.”

“I’m not the one with the problem.”

Commitment meant putting your own needs second and he was too selfish to make that sacrifice for anyone. He wanted to be able to work when he needed to without feeling the constant tug of duty and responsibility. He wanted to travel without always feeling there was another place he should be. He wanted freedom. He didn’t want to feel trapped and stifled in the same way his father had.

10,11,12—the elevator had to be the slowest ever. He felt like getting out and pushing.

“Tyler, you should go home.” Jackson still had his arm around Kayla. “Gramps won’t thank us if he comes home and finds the place neglected.”

“He never thanks us, anyway,” Tyler muttered and Sean slid his finger around his already loosened collar.

“I’m not expecting a warm welcome.”

“You could come home more often,” Jackson replied mildly. “That would help.”

Tyler eyed his suit. “He doesn’t have the right clothing. You can’t walk around Snow Crystal in silk shirts and Armani.”

“It’s Brioni. I bought it when I was presenting at a medical conference in Milan.” He didn’t add that moving to Snow Crystal permanently would be one sacrifice he wouldn’t be making anytime soon. “A good suit is an investment. I seem to remember you owning a decent suit once. Several, in fact. Of course, that was in the days before you let yourself go.”

The exchange with his brothers was comfortable and familiar and kept him sane until the elevator finally stopped. He strode out before the doors were fully open, relieved to be out of the confined space, trapped with emotions he didn’t want to confront.

Tyler was right on his heels. “I can’t stand hospitals. All those white coats and beeping machines and people using incomprehensible words.” His face was noticeably paler than usual. “It’s like being on an alien spaceship.”

Sean wondered if being here reminded his brother of his accident.

For him, hospitals were exciting places, centers for research, full of possibilities.

He felt completely at home and his brothers seemed to know that because Jackson slapped him on the shoulder.

“You know your way around this spaceship. Ready to kick some butt?”

“Do aliens have butts?”

Kayla rolled her eyes. “You sound like a bad movie.”

“What sort of movie?” Jackson’s eyes were on her mouth. “You mean like a porn movie? Because if you want to do bad things to me, that’s fine.”

Sean caught Tyler’s eye. His brother shrugged.

“Like I said—true love. It will happen to you one day when you least expect it. And the next thing you know you’ll be walking around with your lips glued to some chick making embarrassing noises like our beloved brother here.”

And not long after that the sacrifices would start. I became us and along with us came a giant dollop of compromise and suddenly your life didn’t look anything like the way you’d once wanted it to look. You stared into the mirror and asked yourself how the hell did I end up here?

There was no way, no way, that was ever going to happen to him.

“There’s an ice machine at the end of the corridor.” Sean glanced at the signs and found the direction he wanted. “You two should go sit in it while I talk to Gramps.”

ÉLISE SPENT THE evening cooking. Combining flavors and textures was a way of occupying her mind and soothing her anxiety. She told herself it was work, that she needed new recipes for the café, but in truth it was distraction. Distraction from thoughts of Walter and that horrible moment when he’d collapsed at her feet.

It had been hours and she’d heard nothing. She’d texted Kayla twice and received no response. The next step would be to call the hospital and she was close to doing that.

It was almost midnight. Why hadn’t Kayla called?

Dark fell over the lake.

An owl hooted.

Unable to contemplate sleep, she cooked and wrote notes on the laptop she kept permanently on the countertop in the kitchen. Some of the recipes would make it into her repertoire and would be used in the restaurant or the café. Others would never be used again.

She pulled a tray of savory mushroom pastries out of the oven and set them aside to cool, pleased with the result. Picking up a fork, she cut into one. The pastry was a pale golden-brown, crisp and buttery. It flaked in the mouth and melted on the tongue, blending perfectly with the creamy filling.

“Something smells good.” Sean’s voice came from behind her and she turned sharply, her pulse rate doubling.

He stood in the doorway, his broad shoulders blocking her view of the lake.

It was the first time he’d been to her lodge since she’d been living in it. The fact that he’d come in person could only mean bad news.

“Something has happened to Walter? Is he—?” The fear was brutal. Her head spun and her vision felt distant and strange.

She didn’t see him move, but the next moment strong hands clamped her shoulders and she was being guided into the chair.

“Put your head down.” His voice was calm and sure. “You’re fine, sweetheart, you’ve just had a long day. Gramps is good. He’s doing well.”

She leaned forward, waiting for the world to stop spinning. “Is that the truth? You’re not lying to me?”

“I never lie. Some women would say it’s my biggest failing.” He crouched down next to her and closed a hand over hers. “Better?”

“Yes.”