Ich war mir über die Risiken meiner Arbeit bewusst, als ich den Job bei der Jameson Force Security Group annahm. Ich dachte, dass meine Zeit als Marine mich auf die Gefahr vorbereiten würde, der ich mich zu stellen hatte. Aber kein Training hätte mich jemals auf die Hilflosigkeit vorbereiten können, meine Teamkollegen sterben zu sehen, den qualvollen mentalen und physischen Schmerz der Folter oder die Verzweiflung während der Gefangenschaft.

Als ich nach einer fehlgeschlagenen Mission nach Pittsburgh zurückkehre, bin ich voller Schuldgefühle und werde von Albträumen heimgesucht. Ich verbringe meine Tage damit, den Teil von mir wiederzufinden, den ich in der Wüste verloren habe. Der Teil, der mich zu dem Malik Fournier gemacht hat, der ich einmal war.

Während die körperlichen Auswirkungen der Folter nachlassen, erweisen sich die emotionalen als viel hartnäckiger. Trost finde ich ausgerechnet bei der Person, bei der ich niemals Mitgefühl suchen sollte, denn Anna Tate hat durch diese Mission noch mehr verloren als ich. Nun ist Anna Witwe und alleinerziehende Mutter einer Tochter, die sie kurz nach dem Tod ihres Mannes zur Welt gebracht hat.

Sie bietet mir Trost, den ich nicht verdiene. Während meine Gefühle für Anna wachsen, mache ich mir Sorgen, dass sie mich verlässt, sobald sie die Wahrheit über das, was wirklich passiert ist, erfährt. Ich ziehe Anna genauso fest an mich heran, wie ich sie von mir wegschiebe. Die Hoffnung auf diese verbotene Liebe wird mich vor dem Geist retten, zu dem ich geworden bin.

Teil 5 der Jameson Force Security Group-Reihe von New York Times-Bestsellerautorin Sawyer Bennett.

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