Kitabı oku: «Forever and a Day», sayfa 2

She stood and hurried to the opposite couch, throwing her arms around her neck. She sobbed against his shoulder, deep sobs racking through her body. Roy clung to her, shaking too from the outpouring of grief.

“I’m so sorry,” he choked, his voice muffled by her hair. “I’m so, so sorry.”

They stayed like that for a long time, holding each other, shedding every tear they needed to, squeezing out every last drop of pain. Finally the crying ceased. Everything became silent.

“Do you have any more questions?” Roy finally said quietly. “I’m not going to keep secrets from you anymore. I’m not going to hide anything.”

Emily felt exhausted, spent with emotion. Her father’s chest rose and fell with each deep breath he took. She was so tired she felt as if she could fall asleep right here in his arms. But at the same time, she still had a million questions burning in her mind, but one more than others.

“The night when Charlotte died…” she began. “Mom filled me in with some stuff but she only gave me one side of the story. What happened?”

Roy’s arms tightened around her. Emily knew it was hard for him to remember that night but she desperately wanted to know the truth, or at least his version of it. Maybe she’d be able to plaster together the three parts – Patricia’s, Roy’s, her own – and create something that made sense.

“I’d taken you for Thanksgiving and Christmas,” Roy began. “Things weren’t going well with your mom so she stayed home. But then you both came down with the flu.”

“I think I remember,” Emily said. She’d flashed back to some childhood memories of fevers. “Toni’s dog, Persephone, was there. I collapsed in the hall.”

Roy nodded, but he looked embarrassed. Emily knew why; this had been a turning point in his affair with Toni, the point when he’d been brazen enough to have his mistress’s and his children’s lives intersect.

“Do you remember your mom turning up unannounced?” Roy said.

Emily shook her head.

“She’d wanted to be there to look after you both since you were so sick.”

“That doesn’t sound like Mom,” Emily said.

Roy laughed. “No, it doesn’t. Maybe it was an excuse. She suspected the affair and it was her way of turning up unannounced and catching me in the act.”

Emily let out a subdued nod. That was more her mother’s style.

“You must have blocked out the argument because I’m sure we were shouting loud enough for them to hear at the harbor.” He shrugged. “I don’t know if it was that that woke Charlotte up. She was on medicine that made her groggy. You both were. But she woke up and I suppose she got confused looking for us, or was just generally feeling unwell and on medication. She ended up in the outhouse with the pool. I suppose you know the rest.”

Emily did. But what she didn’t realize was how little of a role she’d had to play in it all. It wasn’t her fault for not waking when Charlotte did and stopping her sister wandering away. Nor was it her fault for speaking so enthusiastically about the new pool and planting the excitement in her sister’s mind to go and see it. She’d been ill, confused, possibly even terrified by their parents’ fight. None of it had been her fault. Not a single bit.

Emily felt a sudden sense of release. Weight she hadn’t even realized she’d been carrying lifted from her shoulders. She’d been clinging onto her guilt over Charlotte’s death, even after her mom had clarified that it hadn’t been her fault. Now she felt as if her father had given her permission to let go of that guilt.

She snuggled in to him, feeling a new sense of peace settle over her.

Just then, the quietness was broken by the sound of soft knocking on the door. Daniel peered around.

“Daniel, come in,” Emily said, beckoning him. She wanted him here now that she and her dad had gotten everything out in the open. She needed his support.

He came and perched on the edge of the couch opposite them. Emily wiped the tears from her lashes, but remained clinging to her father, curled up like a child beside him on the couch.

“Does anyone need anything?” Daniel asked softly. “A tissue? A stiff drink?”

It was just what the moment needed to cut through all the heaviness. Emily hiccupped out a laugh. She felt Roy’s rumbling laugh in his belly.

“I could do with a drink,” she said.

“So could I,” Roy replied. “Is the bar stocked?”

Daniel took the lead. “It is. Come on. It’s so fantastic in there. I’ll make us drinks.”

Emily hesitated. “Dad, is that a good idea?” she said.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Roy replied, looking confused.

Emily lowered her voice. “Because of your drinking problem.”

Roy looked astounded. “What drinking problem?” Then his face paled. “Did Patricia tell you I was an alcoholic?”

“You were an alcoholic,” Emily replied. “I remember you drinking. All the time.”

“I drank heavily,” Roy admitted. “We both did, your mom and I. It’s one of the reasons our relationship was so volatile. But I wasn’t an alcoholic.”

“What about the eggnogs for breakfast on Christmas?” she asked, remembering how testy her father had been when she’d kicked his drink over.

“That was just Christmas!” Roy exclaimed.

Another piece of Emily’s past realigned itself. She’d fallen for Patricia’s bitter, skewed version of events, had allowed them to replace her own memories of her father. She felt a surge of fury at her mother for making Roy into the villain of their most traumatic experience.

They went into the speakeasy and took seats at the bar. Daniel got to work on the cocktails.

“We have a bartender in the evenings to do this,” he explained to Roy. “Alec. He’s fantastic. Better than me anyhow.”

He poured them each a margarita. Roy took a sip.

“That tastes fantastic,” he said. Then, a little coyly, he added, “I must say what a fine young gentleman you’ve turned out to be.”

Emily felt her heart soar. She smiled, elated finally, feeling like everything was how it ought to be.

“I have you to thank for that,” Daniel replied, shyly, not quite looking Roy in the eye. “For introducing me to things I cared about. Fishing. Sailing.”

“You still sailing?” Roy asked.

“I have a boat at the harbor. Restored thanks to Emily. We take it out as a family. Chantelle loves it too. She’s great at fishing.”

“I still sail a lot as well,” Roy said. “When I’m not working on a clock I spend my time out on the boat. Or in the garden.”

“Do you remember that day you taught me how to grow vegetables?” Daniel asked.

“Of course,” Roy replied. He smiled, reminiscing. “I’d never seen such a scruffy punk of a kid work so hard with a trowel.”

Daniel laughed. “I was eager to learn,” he said. “To take the opportunity. Even if on the outside it looked like I hated the world.”

Emily found it strange to see them joking and laughing. There was so much less hurt between them. It was more like a camaraderie. Daniel had been forever thankful for the man who’d given him a chance when he needed it, even if that same man had disappeared on him as well. Maybe it was just a surprise to Emily to realize how close they had been once, knowing, also, that the summer they’d spent together had been a summer she and her father had spent apart.

Her phone buzzed then and she saw a text from Amy about their scheduled arrival that afternoon. She and Jayne had some urgent business stuff to attend to and were making a stop so would be arriving later than planned. Emily realized, guiltily, that she’d completely forgotten they were on their way. She’d been so caught up with her father everything else had gone out of her mind.

She quickly texted back and then returned her attention to her father and Daniel. They were laughing breezily again.

“I’m so glad that the boat managed to hold,” Daniel was exclaiming. “Who’d have thought the weather would turn like that? A storm in the middle of summer.”

“It was unfortunate timing,” Roy replied. “Considering it was your first ever boat ride.”

“Well, I had the best teacher so I wasn’t that scared.” He smiled, his eyes far away in reminiscence. “Thank you for introducing me to boats, to the water and sailing. I can’t imagine my life without them now.”

Emily watched on as Roy smiled along with Daniel. Now that she had released her anger she felt an overwhelming sense of peace, of rightness. This should always have been how it was. Her dad hanging out with her fiancé, enjoying one another’s company, looking forward to soon becoming part of the same family.

It may have come a little late, but she was going to do everything she possibly could now to enjoy it.

*

As the evening wore on, Daniel made another batch of cocktails. He set a glass down in front of Emily just as her phone buzzed with an incoming call.

“It’s Amy,” she explained. “I’d better take it.”

“Amy? From high school?” Roy asked, raising an eyebrow.

Emily nodded. “We’re still friends,” she informed him. “She’s a bridesmaid. She’s helping with a lot of the wedding preparations.”

Emily dashed out of the speakeasy and took the call.

“Em, we’re so sorry,” Amy began. “The call took ages and now we’re both too exhausted to drive. We’re going to have to stop here over night. Don’t hate us.”

“I won’t,” Emily told her, secretly relieved that her friends weren’t going to interrupt the reunion with her father.

“We’ll leave first thing in the morning,” Amy added.

“Honestly, Amy, it’s fine,” Emily said. “Some stuff’s come up here anyway.”

“What stuff? Wedding stuff? Daniel? Sheila?” She sounded concerned.

“It’s nothing like that,” Emily explained. Then she took a deep breath. “Amy, my dad is here.”

There was a long silence. “What? How? Are you okay?”

Emily didn’t know how to answer that, and she really didn’t want to go into it too much now. She hadn’t fully absorbed it yet. She needed time to untangle her emotions and make sense of it all.

“I’m fine. Let’s talk about it when you get here.”

Amy didn’t sound convinced. “Okay. But if you need someone to talk to, call me right away. See you tomorrow.”

Emily ended the call and went back to the speakeasy, to the joyful laughter of Roy and Daniel. Old bosom buddies back together again.

“Well,” Roy said, draining the last of the liquor from his glass. “I think it’s probably time for me to make myself scarce. Looks like you have guests to attend to.”

Emily felt panicked at the thought of Roy leaving. “I have staff, they’re covering everything. It’s fine for us to spend time together. You don’t have to go.”

Roy noticed her panic-stricken appearance. “I just meant that it might be time to retire. To sleep.”

“You mean you’re staying?” Emily said, surprised. “Here?”

“If you have space?” Roy said meekly. “I didn’t mean to be presumptuous.”

“Of course you can stay!” Emily exclaimed. “How long are you planning to be here?”

“Until the wedding if it’s not a problem. I could help out a bit with preparations if needed.”

Emily was stunned. Not only was her father here, but he was planning on being here for over a week! It really was a dream come true.

“That would be wonderful,” she said.

They went upstairs and checked Roy into the room beside his study. Emily knew he’d want to go in there at some point, probably alone.

“Will this room be okay?” she asked.

“Oh yes. It’s quite lovely,” Roy replied. “And right beside my secret staircase.”

Emily frowned. “Your what?”

“Don’t tell me you never found it,” Roy said. There was a glint of mischief in his eye, one that revealed the brush with madness he’d once had, the spiraling downward that had turned his playful nature for treasure maps into secrecy and locked vaults with hidden combinations.

“Do you mean the staircase to the widow’s walk?” Emily asked. “I found that. But it’s on the third floor.”

Roy clapped loudly then, as though suddenly delighted. “You never found it! The servants’ staircase.”

Emily shook her head. “But I’ve seen the schematics of the whole house. Your speakeasy was the last hidden place on there.”

“Something’s not hidden if it’s on schematics!” Roy exclaimed.

“Show us,” Daniel said. He seemed excited, like he had been when the bar had been discovered.

Roy led them into his study. “Didn’t you wonder why there was a chimney breast against this wall?” He knocked it, and it let out a hollow sound. “All the other chimney breasts are on external walls. This one is internal.”

“It didn’t even cross my mind,” Emily said.

“Well, it’s behind here,” Roy said. “If you wouldn’t mind giving me a hand, Daniel.”

Daniel readily obliged. They removed what Emily saw now was a fake wall, papered to be the same as the rest of the room. And there it was. A staircase. Plain, nothing particularly beautiful to look at, but it was its very existence that excited them.

“I can’t believe it,” Emily said, stepping inside. “Is this why you chose this room as your study?”

“Of course,” Roy replied. “The stairs were a shortcut for the servants to get to the sleeping quarters without being seen by the people in the house. It just goes from here down into the basement, which is where the servants would have slept back in the day.”

“And this is the only way in,” Emily stated, realizing now why she hadn’t found it. The basement still contained rooms unexplored to her, and her father’s study was the room she’d messed with the least.

Roy nodded. “Surprise.”

Emily laughed and shook her head. “So many secrets.”

They headed out of the study and Roy went into his bedroom. Emily went to close the door behind him, but he reached out for her and gave her a kiss goodnight.

Emily stopped, stunned. Her father hadn’t kissed her for so many years, even well before he’d walked out of her life.

“Good night, Dad,” she said hurriedly.

She shut the door and scurried to her room. Once safely inside, Daniel immediately wrapped her up in a much needed hug.

“How are you holding up?” he asked softly, gently rocking her in his arms.

“I can’t believe he’s really here,” she stammered. “I keep thinking this is a dream.”

“What did you guys talk about?”

“Everything. I mean I know I’m still processing everything but it was cathartic. I feel like we can put all the hurt behind us now and start afresh.”

“So those are happy tears making my shoulder wet?” Daniel joked.

Emily drew back and laughed at the dark patch on Daniel’s shirt. “Oops, sorry,” she said. She hadn’t even realized she’d been crying.

Daniel kissed her lightly. “There’s nothing to apologize about. I get that this is going to be tough. If you need to cry or laugh or shout or anything, I’m here. Okay?”

Emily nodded, so grateful to have such a beautiful human in her life. And now with her dad here, she felt like everything was really slotting into place. At last, after so many years living an unfulfilling life, she felt like she was now finally going to get to live the life she deserved.

Her wedding was only a week away. And now, for the first time, with everyone around her whom she loved, she felt truly ready for it.

Now it was time to get married.

CHAPTER TWO

The next morning Emily awoke earlier than usual, feeling elated. She skipped downstairs to make breakfast, cooking up a feast of eggs, toast, bacon, and pancakes, humming happily to herself the whole while. Daniel came down with Chantelle a little while later. Emily looked at the clock as time passed, becoming worried that her father hadn’t yet made an appearance.

“Why don’t you knock on his door?” Daniel suggested, clearly having picked up on the reasons behind her furtive glances.

“I don’t want to disturb him,” Emily replied.

“I’ll do it,” Chantelle said, leaping up from the breakfast bar.

Emily shook her head. “No, you eat. I’ll go.”

She wasn’t sure what it was that was worrying her so much about disturbing her father. Perhaps it was the niggling feeling in the back of her mind that he wouldn’t be there when she knocked, that it would all reveal itself to be a dream after all.

She approached his room cautiously, then cleared her throat, feeling silly. She knocked loudly.

“Dad, I made breakfast. Are you ready to come down?”

When there wasn’t a reply, Emily felt her first jolt of panic. But she talked herself down from it. Roy might well be in the shower, unable to hear her.

She tried the handle of his door and found it unlocked. She opened it and peered into his room. His bed was empty, but there was no running water sound coming from the open en suite door, no sign of Roy at all.

Emily immediately gave up on trying to contain her fear. All at once it whooshed at her. Had she pushed him too far last night? Made him too uncomfortable to stay?

She rushed out of the room and into the corridor, then flew down the staircase into the kitchen. It was only the sight of Chantelle’s bemused blinking from the breakfast bar that prevented her from screaming for Daniel. Instead, she skidded to a halt and managed to compose herself.

“Daniel, could you give me a hand quickly?” Emily said, trying to stop her face from cracking.

Daniel looked up and frowned. Evidently he could see right through her plastered-on smile. “What with?”

“Umm…” Emily floundered. “Heavy lifting.”

“Lifting what?” Daniel pressed.

Emily blurted the first word that came into her mind. “Toilet rolls.”

Chantelle giggled. “Heavy toilet rolls?”

“Daniel,” Emily snapped. “Please. Just help me for a moment.”

Daniel sighed and got up from the table. Emily grabbed his arm and pulled him out into the corridor.

“It’s Dad,” she whispered. “He’s not in his room.”

By the change in Daniel’s expression, Emily knew it had finally sunk in why she was behaving so oddly.

“He won’t have left,” Daniel reassured her, rubbing her arms. “He’s probably wandering the grounds.”

“You don’t know that,” Emily replied. She was fully giving in to her panic now and was starting to tear up.

“I’ll check the yard,” Daniel said. “You check the house.”

Emily nodded, glad to have been given direction. Her own mind had blanked out from fear.

Daniel hurried outside and Emily took the stairs, rushing two at a time. She checked each of the open guest rooms but to no avail. Through the windows in the landing she could see Daniel out in the yard, rushing about. So he hadn’t had any luck either.

Then Emily hit on a brain wave. She ran to the end of the corridor and flung open the door to Roy’s study.

The room was dark, the curtains drawn, but the desk lamp was on, creating a spotlight effect on the surface of the wood. Hunched behind it was the unmistakable silhouette of Roy Mitchell, bent over something, tinkering.

Emily let out a huge sigh and dropped her shoulder against the door frame, letting it support her weight as the tension left her body.

“Oh, good morning,” Roy said innocently, looking up at the sound of her exhalation. “I was just fixing this.” He held up a cuckoo clock, its back door hanging open. He closed it gently and the cuckoo sprang out the front. Smiling, he set it back down. “Good as new.”

Emily’s panic disappeared and was replaced just as swiftly with happiness. Seeing her father tinkering away was odd in its familiarity. It was like he’d always been there. The sight filled her with joy.

“Are you ready for some breakfast?” Emily asked.

Roy nodded and stood up. As they went downstairs together, Emily knocked on the window of the landing where she could spy Daniel rushing around the yard. He looked up at the noise and Emily flashed him a thumbs-up sign. She watched him sag with relief.

They went into the kitchen, where Chantelle was still eating her breakfast, oblivious to the goings-on.

“Looks like you put on a feast,” Roy said, chuckling as he slid into the seat beside Chantelle.

“How did you sleep Papa Roy?” Chantelle asked. She had fallen asleep the night before in the process of cleaning her room and was only now seeing him again.

Roy poured himself a glass of juice. “Wonderfully, thank you, my dear. The bed was just as comfortable as the one I used to sleep in when this was my house.”

As she heard his words, Emily had a sudden worry. The house still was his. She’d taken it on the assumption that he was missing presumed dead, but now that that was no longer the case, he legally had every right to take it back from her.

Daniel came in to rejoin the family breakfast.

“Early morning stroll?” Roy asked him as he took his seat.

Daniel caught Emily’s eye knowingly. “Nothing like fresh air first thing in the morning,” he said with a hint of sarcasm that Emily knew was for her benefit.

“Papa Roy was just telling me about when this was his house,” Chantelle informed Daniel.

“Well, it actually still is,” Emily explained. She looked up at her father, worried. “Do you want it back?”

Roy began to laugh then. “Goodness, no! I’m thrilled for you to have it, darling. It’s not like I’m planning on moving back to Sunset Harbor.”

Emily should have felt happy to hear confirmation her father wasn’t planning on taking the house back from her, but instead it was sadness she felt at the confirmation that he was only here temporarily. She wasn’t sure what she’d been thinking, whether she had even thought that far ahead at all, but it now felt so stark that he would be leaving her all over again.

She forked her grapefruit glumly and took a bitter bite.

“How long will you be staying with us?” Chantelle asked in her innocent childhood manner.

“Just until after the wedding,” Roy explained in a soft voice that he seemed to save just for Chantelle, one that Emily remembered him using with her when she was that age. “That’s why I’m here. To help prepare.” He looked up at Emily. “Is there anything you’d like me to help with?”

Emily was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that Roy’s appearance in her life was to be brief and fleeting, that no sooner had he returned than he would be leaving again. The last thing she could think of now were the things that needed organizing! And anyway, he was a bit late to the game. It was just over one week before the wedding, so pretty much most things had already been done.

“You could keep an eye on Chantelle when I’m rushed off my feet with things,” Emily said. “If she doesn’t mind?”

Chantelle grinned. “We can fix up Trevor’s greenhouse!”

Roy looked interested. “Trevor’s greenhouse?”

“Trevor Mann from next door,” Emily began. Then she shut her mouth. Her grief over Trevor’s death was still raw. She wasn’t quite sure how to explain the situation. “We became friends recently and, well, he passed away. He left me his house in his will.”

Roy’s eyebrows rose. Emily could tell from the expression on his face that his own relationship with Trevor had been bad.

“Trevor Mann left you his house?” Roy asked, surprised.

Emily nodded. “I know. It was an unlikely friendship. I was there for him at the end.”

“How did he die?” Roy asked, softly.

“Perhaps we shouldn’t discuss this at the table,” Daniel interrupted, looking over at Chantelle, who had gone quite pale.

Roy turned his full attention to Chantelle. He dropped his voice into his soothing, paternal one.

“I’d love to fix up the greenhouse with you,” he said. “You can be the boss and tell me what needs doing.”

Chantelle brightened instantly. She’d been desperate to check on the fruit trees ever since Trevor’s passing, but Emily had always held back, not quite ready to open that wound.

“Can I show Papa Roy right now?” Chantelle asked, looking first from Daniel, then to Emily.

Daniel gestured to Emily, leaving the ball in her court. She’d spoken to him so many times about not being ready to set foot inside the house, he clearly thought it best for her to make the decision now rather than promise Chantelle something that they weren’t able to keep.

“Sure, okay,” Emily said.

She was a little reluctant to set foot inside the dead man’s home, but with her father and loved ones by her side supporting her, perhaps it wouldn’t be as painful as she anticipated.

*

Emily took a deep breath and turned the key in the lock of Trevor’s front door. It swung open, letting out the stale air that had been cooped up inside for months. The corridor was in darkness and Emily shivered, feeling unnerved.

She went in first, leading the way. Behind her, Daniel held tightly onto Chantelle’s hand, soothing the little girl.

As she walked along the corridor, Emily couldn’t help but recall snippets of the conversations she’d shared with Trevor. Memories flooded back to her as she took in the sight of the table where they’d sat and shared tea, of the plastered up bit of ceiling from when a storm had crashed into the house. This place was filled with memories of Trevor. It was overwhelming to think of one day organizing this place.

“The greenhouse is just through here,” Chantelle said.

Emily stood back and allowed the girl to take command. They all followed her out the back of the house and in through the glass door of the greenhouse.

Though Trevor had enjoyed sitting out here in his final weeks, the greenhouse was in a terrible state. Everyone glanced around, taking in the enormity of the amount of work that would need to be done in order to get this place restored to its former glory.

Chantelle pulled out her notepad and began taking notes. “I think we need a fountain,” she said. “Benches so we can sit and read in the summer. A swing, too. A place where Daddy can grow his vegetables. And a flower garden.”

“I know all about which plants grow in which climates,” Roy told Chantelle. “I can help you pick the right types.”

He was taking Chantelle very seriously, which delighted Emily to see. He was even carrying a matching notepad and pink feathered pen, which he used to write down supplies they needed.

“What color scheme were you thinking of?” Roy asked in a businesslike manner.

“Yellow and pink,” Chantelle said. “Or rainbow.”

“All excellent choices.” He jotted down some notes in his pad. “We’re going to need some new glass,” he added. “To make sure this place is watertight and to keep it warm. Want to go on a trip to the hardware store?”

Chantelle nodded excitedly. “Then we can go to Raj’s and get the seeds for the flowers.”

“Tell me, do you have your own gardening tools? Gloves? Apron?”

Chantelle shook her head.

“Then we’ll have to get all of that as well,” Roy explained. “Every gardener needs their own outfit. You’d look quite splendid in green gingham.”

Chantelle grinned and Emily found that she herself was smiling just as widely. Seeing her dad bonding with the child over the greenhouse was a moment she would treasure forever. She thanked Trevor silently for having given her such a generous gift that had allowed for such a beautiful moment to happen.

Daniel ruffled Chantelle’s hair. “Come on. I’ll drive you and Papa Roy to town.”

They headed back out into Trevor’s garden, then crossed the lawns in the direction of the driveway where Daniel’s pickup truck was parked.

“Are you coming too, Emily?” Chantelle asked as they reached the car.

Emily pulled open the back door and helped her inside. “I can’t,” she explained. “I have guests coming. Amy and Jayne. You remember them.”

Chantelle pulled a face. She hadn’t been so fond of Emily’s New York City friends last time they’d visited. Emily couldn’t blame her. They were hardly cuddly and calm like Papa Roy was.

Emily shut the door and Daniel gunned the truck to life.

“Have fun!” she called out, waving at her family in the truck as it began crawling out of the driveway.

It might not look like the conventional picture of a family, but it was hers and that was what mattered to Emily.

Just as they turned the corner and out of sight, Emily saw Amy’s car appear at the other end. She was struck with the sudden feeling that however crazy things had felt over the last day, the craziness was about to ramp up even more.