Kitabı oku: «Her Happy-Ever-After Family», sayfa 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

LORRAINE ORGANISED A working bee at the cemetery with all the speed and efficiency of a conductor’s flourish. ‘We can’t hold a memorial service there with it looking the way it is! It’s beyond time we tidied it up.’

Which was why Tess and the kids found themselves getting ready to return to the cemetery the following Saturday. Tess finally managed to convince Krissie that Fluffy would be much happier staying behind in her chicken mansion rather than attending a busy, noisy working bee. When she rose and turned she found Cam standing directly behind her and her skin flared and her stomach tumbled and a bubble of something light and airy rose within her.

Her heart fluttered up into her throat. She swallowed it back down into her chest and tried to pop the bubble with silent verbal thrusts. He’ll be gone soon. But her brain refused to cooperate. It was too busy revelling in the undiluted masculinity on display. In low-slung jeans, soft with wear, and a faded cotton twill work shirt—with buttons…buttons that could be undone—he made her fingers itch to run all over him in the same way they did whenever she was near a piano.

She took a step back. ‘Hello, Cameron.’

He blinked and that was when she realised he’d been staring at her as intently as she’d been staring at him. Her skin flared hotter. They both glanced away.

‘Are you coming with us to the working bee?’ Krissie asked.

‘Working bee?’

He glanced at Tess. She frowned. Hadn’t Lorraine spoken to him?

None of your business. She cleared her throat and folded her arms. ‘The town’s organised a clean-up of the cemetery. We’re just about to head out there now.’

‘I didn’t hear about it.’

She unfolded her arms. Well, why not? It—

None of your business. She folded her arms again.

‘You have to come,’ Ty said. ‘It won’t be the same if you’re not there.’

That was one way of putting it.

Cam smoothed a hand down his jaw. ‘The thing is, buddy, I was going to start on your vegetable garden today.’

‘But we want to help you do that, don’t we, Auntie Tess?’

‘We do.’

‘And the working bee is for our mummy.’ Krissie slid her hand into Cam’s. ‘Please…you have to come.’

Tess had to choke back a laugh. Talk about emotional blackmail! She clapped her hands briskly. ‘Okay, kids, grab your hats and, Ty, make sure you bring Barney’s lead.’

The kids raced off.

Cam stared at her. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. He followed the action and his eyes darkened. She released it again, her pulse pounding in her throat. She wheeled away to stare blindly at the backyard. ‘I don’t feel right about you working here without us being around to help. I want to learn.’

‘It’ll mostly be brute work today.’

‘Nevertheless.’

There was a pause. ‘Is that a roundabout way of saying you’d like me to come to the cemetery instead?’

‘I’d love you to come.’ And she meant it. She really wanted him to be part of the working bee, but she wasn’t quite sure what that meant. Except she needed to be careful. Very careful.

She needed to fight her fascination for this man, or it would all end in tears. If they were only her tears that wouldn’t matter, but…She glanced towards the house. ‘I think it’s only fair to warn you that I expect your mother, Lance and Fiona will all be there today.’

Again there was a long pause. ‘You think I’m afraid to come face-to-face with them?’

He stole all that I most cherished.

‘I think you’ve been doing your best to avoid them.’ A part of her didn’t blame him. She wouldn’t want to come face-to-face with the person she loved more than life itself on a daily basis and know they’d chosen someone else. And not just any anonymous someone else either, but a sibling. It’d be like ripping a scab off a wound again and again.

She could understand why he wanted to leave Bellaroo Creek. She could even see why he might need to. She couldn’t see that cutting himself off from the entire community in the meantime was the thing to do, though. He hadn’t done anything to be ashamed of.

‘You know—’ she planted her hands on her hips ‘—I think you’ve made it awfully easy for Lance and Fiona. It wouldn’t hurt them to have to see you on a regular basis and feel awkward and ashamed about what they’ve done.’

He laughed. It surprised her. ‘It’s nice to have you in my corner, Tess.’

Was that what she was? You want to be a whole lot more than just in his corner. She shook the thought off, refused to follow it, tried to focus on the conversation. ‘That’s your problem with your mother, isn’t it? You feel she’s not on your side.’

‘She’s not,’ he said bluntly. ‘She’s always favoured Lance. And, no, that’s not jealous sibling rivalry talking, Tess, but…’

Her heart stilled at the expression on his face. ‘But?’

‘I realised something when we were up at the school the other day. When my mother left my father, he withdrew into himself. He still managed the farm but he had no social life. He let all his friendships slip; he let his position in the community go. When he died he’d closed himself off so completely that the only person left to mourn him was me.’

She pressed a hand to her chest. ‘Oh, Cameron, I’m so sorry.’ What a terrible story. And what a sad household for a boy to grow up in. No wonder—

‘But I have no intention of following his lead.’

She stared at him for a long moment. ‘That’s one of the reasons you’re going overseas.’

‘I might never have a wife and children, but it doesn’t mean I can’t find meaning in something I’m passionate about. It doesn’t mean I can’t have adventures and contribute to the world.’

Helping to feed the world would be a huge contribution. Africa would be an amazing adventure. He’d experience the most awe-inspiring things and eventually his heart would heal. Eventually.

‘But in the meantime, it’s time to stop holing up like a hermit.’

She lifted her chin. ‘I think that’s an excellent plan.’

He stared at her and then pursed his lips. ‘But?’

This is none of your business. She lifted a shoulder. ‘Just because things didn’t work out with Fiona doesn’t mean you’ll never fall in love again.’

He shook his head. ‘I saw what love did to my father.’ His eyes grew grim, dark…shadowed. ‘No, thanks, once was enough. I’m not diving into that particular hellhole again. I’ll find satisfaction elsewhere.’

She grimaced. Feeding the world was all well and good, but an abstract concept couldn’t give you a big fat hug when you needed it. She opened her mouth but he held up a hand. ‘Leave it now, Tess.’

She moistened her lips and then nodded. He’d make friends on his adventure. They’d look after him. For no reason at all, a hole opened up inside her.

‘You know,’ she started, turning back towards the house, ‘I used to be really good at minding my own business.’

One side of his mouth hooked up. ‘I don’t believe that for a moment.’

The thing was, it was true. She’d been too caught up in her music to notice if anyone had been feeling down or worried. How selfish she’d been! She’d been too self-absorbed to involve herself in other people’s problems, in other people’s lives. In a way, she’d cut herself off as comprehensively as Cam had.

Her chest burned. Giving up music had been a good thing.

But that bubble of half-happiness half-excitement that had been floating around inside her ever since she’d turned and seen Cameron finally popped.

‘Would you like to come with us, Cam?’

‘I’ll meet you at the cemetery. I’ll run back home and collect a few tools first.’

She waved him off as Ty and Krissie piled into the car. She pushed her shoulder back and drew in a breath. A big one. These kids were worth every sacrifice she’d have to make. She’d choose them over music any day of the week—even when they were running her ragged. She’d choose them over a man.

Yes. She slid behind the steering wheel and nodded. This was the life they were meant to be living. I won’t let you down, Sarah.

Lorraine set the men to work with lawnmowers and whippersnippers clearing the scrub from around the fence line and mowing the paths. The women and children she set to work clearing weeds from around the graves and scrubbing headstones clean of moss and lichen. Having never been a part of a working bee before, Tess enjoyed the sense of camaraderie with the dozen or so other workers.

As expected, the handful of children eventually took off to play in the neighbouring paddock—eight children, three dogs and two soccer balls. One of the older women kept an eye on them. ‘Don’t worry yourself,’ she’d said to Tess when Tess had wandered over to check on them for the third time. ‘We know out here that at least one person needs to keep an eye on the children to avert potential accidents. And it’s a treat for me to sit in the sun like this and listen to the littlies.’

With her fears eased, she’d returned to work pulling weeds from around a grave.

Lorraine came up, touched her arm. ‘Tess, I want to thank you for convincing Cameron to come along.’

Tess sat back on her heels. ‘I had nothing to do with it. I was only surprised he didn’t know about it.’

The older woman’s hand fluttered about her throat. She glanced away.

‘When the children told him, though, he was more than happy to lend a hand.’

Lorraine turned back with an overbright smile. ‘All I can say is that it’s lovely to see him here.’

Tess met the other woman’s gaze. ‘Then you might want to tell him that some time.’

She blinked. ‘You think he’d…’ She swallowed. ‘It’s his birthday next Sunday, you know? It’s one of those birthdays that ends in a zero. Maybe I…’

Tess didn’t want to appear too interested. She went back to pulling weeds. ‘Are you planning anything special?’ Would she like Tess’s help?

‘Oh, no, I don’t think so. I don’t think he’d welcome that.’

The older woman’s sigh touched her heart. The secateurs suddenly felt heavy in her hands. What would she do if Ty and Krissie were ever at sixes and sevens the way Cam and Lance were? She suppressed a shudder. She’d do everything in her power to make sure that never happened. If it did, she’d do everything in her power to fix it.

But what if that wasn’t enough?

‘Listen to me rambling on! Time to get back to work.’

Lorraine moved away to oversee more job delegation. Tess glanced around until she found Cam’s broad capable bulk, whipper-snipper in hand, cutting a swathe through the long grass on the other side of the cemetery. He looked at ease, comfortable, in his element, and Tess followed his lead, giving herself up to working in the fresh air beneath an autumn sun that wasn’t too fierce.

‘Hello, I’m Fiona. We met briefly at the luncheon.’

Tess blinked to find the flawless blonde working on the other side of the grave. She suddenly found herself battling the desire to reach out and slap the other woman or to just get up and walk away.

Whoa!

She rocked back on her heels. ‘I remember,’ she managed, but something in her tone made the other woman flush.

Be nice! ‘Gorgeous day for it, isn’t it?’

‘Yes.’ Fiona didn’t immediately set back to work, but stared at a point beyond Tess’s right shoulder. ‘Cam is looking well.’

Ah…‘Well? Gorgeous more like.’ She turned to look too. ‘That man is a sight for sore eyes.’

When she turned back she found Fiona staring at her. ‘Are you and Cam—?’ She broke off. ‘Sorry, that’s none of my business.’

Tess went back to weeding. She had no intention of satisfying Fiona’s curiosity.

‘Look, Tess.’ Fiona set her clippers down. ‘What I really want to know is if he’s doing as well as he looks.’

Tess glanced up. ‘Why don’t you ask him some time? I understand you used to be close.’

The flawless skin suddenly flushed pink. ‘Oh! You think I’m a right piece of work, don’t you?’ She sat with a thump on the side of the grave—a cement rectangle with an angel atop the headstone. Tess kept her mouth very firmly shut. ‘I never meant for all this to happen. I never meant to fall in love with Lance and cause a rift between the brothers.’

And yet she had. And from what Tess could see, Fiona wasn’t doing anything about it—wasn’t trying to bridge gaps or make amends.

‘I know Cam is the better man.’

That had Tess’s head swinging around.

‘The thing is, you see, he never really needed me. He’s so strong and honourable and…self-sufficient. I can’t complain about the way he treated me—he treated me like a queen—and yet…I never felt I’d made much of an impact on him.’

How wrong Fiona had been! She opened her mouth and then snapped it shut again. She had no intention of betraying Cam’s confidence.

‘But with Lance…’

Fiona turned to glance at Lance and her whole face lit up. Tess’s stomach clenched.

‘Lance needs me.’ She turned back to Tess, her face earnest. ‘I feel I can help make him a better man. I don’t expect you to understand because you’re strong, like Cam.’

Her, strong? That was laughable.

‘Taking on your niece and nephew like you have proves that,’ Fiona continued. ‘But I’m the kind of person who needs to be needed. And that’s why I’m with Lance instead of Cam.’

Couldn’t she have found a different man who needed her instead of Cam’s brother?

A bustle at the front gates interrupted them. ‘It’s the CWA with lunch,’ Fiona explained, rising. ‘I’ll go lend them a hand.’

‘You do that,’ Tess muttered under her breath, pulling out a weed with a vicious tug. No doubt the CWA needed her. Man, what a flake! What on earth had Cam seen in her?

Other than her flawless skin.

And her perky blonde ponytail.

Oh, and her model-like figure.

She sat back on her heels scowling at the grave, but after a moment she started to laugh. Oh, did she have the green-eyed monster bad or what? Fiona was probably a perfectly nice woman. And to give her credit, she did seem genuinely sorry for hurting Cam and creating a rift between him and Lance.

Though, from what Cam had said, that rift had been widening well before Fiona had come onto the scene.

Mind your own business.

As for the jealousy, she had no right to that. No right whatsoever.

Cam was more than ready for lunch when it was announced. Breakfast seemed like hours ago and he expected they’d all worked up healthy appetites. He joined the throng around the CWA tables and started loading up a paper plate with sandwiches and party pies.

‘Hello, Cam, would you like a mug of tea?’

Fiona. He waited for his gut to clench. It did. A fraction. Not as much as he expected, though. ‘Thanks.’ He nodded.

‘Are you well?’

She was obviously trying to make an effort. ‘Never better.’ He went to ask her how she was, but his arm was suddenly tugged.

‘Cam,’ Ty asked, ‘can I feed Barney a party pie?’

‘Sure you can, buddy. Just make sure it’s cooled down first, okay?’

And then he found he’d wandered away from the table and he hadn’t made the polite enquiry of Fiona after all. With a shrug, he set off for a spot in the shade of a Kurrajong tree.

‘Hey, Tess.’ Lance called out from his spot in the sun on the other side of the gated entrance from Cam. ‘Why don’t you join us?’

Cam’s gut clenched up tighter than a newly sprung barbedwire fence. With his back stiff and rigid, he kept moving towards the Kurrajong tree.

‘No, thanks,’ Tess called back. ‘I prefer the view over here.’ And then she was sitting beside him on the newly clipped grass and gesturing at the scene spread in front of them. ‘It’s really starting to take shape, isn’t it?’

The woman stole his breath.

‘This working-bee idea is really something.’

He glanced around at the clumps of people settling down to have their lunch and his throat tightened. He’d honestly thought, once, that he could make his simple dream come true in this community. Days like today brought the disappointment home to him afresh. And yet…

He couldn’t deny it’d been invigorating working in the sun, side by side with people he’d known his entire life. He glanced at Tess—and some he’d known for less than a month.

‘Yeah, I guess it is,’ he finally agreed. And if she noticed the strain in his voice, she didn’t mention it.

I prefer the view over here.

He found himself starting to grin.

‘I think this will be the perfect spot to bury Sarah.’ She shrugged when he glanced at her. ‘Well, to inter her ashes or whatever it’s called. You know what I mean. It’s a nice spot for a final resting place.’

He supposed she was right.

‘What did you do with your father’s remains, Cameron?’

‘I scattered his ashes on Kurrajong Station. It’s what he wanted.’

She nodded and bit into a sandwich. ‘That’s nice too.’

What about her parents? Were they still living? ‘Will your parents come to the memorial service?’

‘I doubt it.’

She lowered her sandwich to her plate and he immediately regretted asking the question. ‘Forget I asked,’ he ordered. ‘It’s none of my business.’

She shot him a look that made him laugh, and then she shrugged. ‘I don’t mind. It’s kind of funny coming to a place like Bellaroo Creek. You’ve all known each other so long that you know each other’s histories.’

She turned those big brown eyes to him and he had to swallow. He shifted and covered his lap with his plate, and hoped she didn’t notice how tightly he gritted his teeth.

‘It’s nice,’ she finally finished.

‘You’re fitting in brilliantly.’

She flashed him a smile. ‘I’m not feeling insecure, but thank you. I know it’ll take time, but so far it’s going better than I’d hoped.’

That was okay, then.

‘My parents are…distant,’ she said, picking her sandwich up again. ‘Sarah and I actually came from quite a privileged background, but to be honest I’m not really sure why my parents had children. We were raised by nannies.’

The sweet vulnerable curve of her mouth turned down and her slender shoulders drooped for a moment, and an ugly darkness welled in his gut.

‘So, to be honest with you, I don’t really know them. Obviously they came to Sarah and Bruce’s actual funeral.’

But he could see now that they’d provided Tess with no support whatsoever.

‘And I very much doubt they’ll ever visit us out here at Bellaroo Creek. They’ve been living in America these last few years.’

He shifted. ‘Privileged, you say?’

She nodded.

‘So, you could’ve organised nannies for Ty and Krissie and kept your career?’

‘It’s what my parents wanted me to do.’

He saw now that Tess had too much compassion and natural sympathy, too much integrity to have abandoned her niece and nephew.

She rolled her eyes. ‘Apparently a daughter who’s a concert pianist and fêted classical guitarist has more cachet than one who is merely a mother and housekeeper.’

They should be proud of her and all she’d taken on!

‘I couldn’t let Sarah down,’ she said softly.

He reached out and briefly clasped her hand. ‘She’d be proud of you, Tess.’

‘I hope so,’ she whispered, her eyes suspiciously bright. She blinked and then resumed eating. ‘We always promised each other that if we ever had children we’d be hands-on parents—the opposite of our own.’

He understood that perfectly. He couldn’t imagine having a child and then farming it out for other people to look after. Even the folk around here who sent their kids to boarding school couldn’t wait for end of term time.

‘She left me a letter, you know?’

‘Sarah?’

She nodded.

‘She knew something was going to happen to her?’

‘I think after Bruce’s accident it really hit home to her how life can change in an instant. She said she wouldn’t offend me by asking me to raise Ty and Krissie as if they were my own—she knew I would. She told me all the good things I had to offer them. And then she told me about the life insurance policy she’d organised so we’d never have to worry about money.’

‘She wanted to be prepared,’ he murmured. In case life ever played her another nasty trick. She’d been smart.

‘Which is why you should get married and have kids, Cam. ’Cause, the way things currently stand, if anything happens to you Lance will probably inherit Kurrajong Station, and we can’t have that.’

He stared, and then he threw his head back and laughed. ‘You never give up, do you?’

‘Nope.’

He shook his head. ‘Sarah sounds like a hell of a woman, Tess.’

‘She was.’ Her eyes turned misty and faraway and he knew she no longer saw the cemetery and this golden autumn day. ‘She was four years older and became a bit of a surrogate mother to me.’

‘And you hero-worshipped her, right?’ She’d had the kind of relationship with Sarah he’d hungered to have with Lance. He promptly lost his appetite.

Tess laughed. He loved the sound. ‘I expect I plagued her half to death. But I remember…’

She leaned forward, her eyes dreamy and distant again. Thirst snaked through him and the longer he gazed at her, the thirstier he became, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. ‘What do you remember?’

‘Music was my passion.’ She sat back. ‘No, it was more than that. It drove me, rode me…obsessed me. I would practise for hours and hours, driven to get a piece just right. I’d stay up into the wee small hours, practising and playing and practising more and more. And Sarah would sit up with me, and when I was about to drop with exhaustion she’d put me to bed.’

His heart started to ache. Ty and Krissie had lost their mother, and that was a terrible thing. But Tess had lost a sister—a much-loved sister—and who had held her in their arms and let her cry out her grief?

Certainly not her parents.

Tears swam in her eyes. ‘I miss her so much.’

He reached out to touch her cheek, but suddenly a little dynamo in the shape of Krissie burst up between them. Her bottom lip wobbled as she stared at Tess. ‘Why are you crying?’

Tess held her arms open and Krissie threw herself into them. His heart clenched when Tess lifted her face to the sun and dragged in a breath to steady herself.

So strong!

‘I was just telling Cam about your mum and I got to missing her.’

‘I miss her too,’ Krissie whispered.

‘I know, chickadee.’

Krissie snuggled closer. ‘Tell me a story about when you and Mummy were kids like Ty and me. Were you ever naughty?’

‘Never!’

Tess feigned shock and Krissie giggled.

‘Except—’ she winked ‘—this one time when we were in high school. We both really, really wanted to see this movie—Charlie’s Angels—and we actually snuck out of school early to go and watch it.’

Krissie covered her mouth with both her hands, her eyes wide.

‘What’s more, we bought the biggest popcorn we could find and the biggest cola you ever did see.’

‘Did you get caught?’ Krissie breathed.

‘No, but we got the biggest tummy aches, which served us right for being such gluttons!’

Tess tickled Krissie until she squealed with delight and then ran back off to find what the other children were doing.

Cam wanted to hug Tess the way she’d hugged Krissie. He wanted to tickle her until she felt better too.

His lips twisted. Who was he trying to kid? He wanted to kiss her until neither one of them could think straight. But that wouldn’t make her feel better, not in the long term.

He blinked to find her eyeing him as hungrily as he did her. His skin tightened, but he ignored it. He had to tread carefully around this woman. She’d taken on a lot. She’d sacrificed a lot, and it would be cruel and thoughtless of him to make her life harder. She didn’t deserve that.

She deserved to grow roots and be surrounded by a community that would look out for her. She deserved to be loved by a man who could give her security and a loving family. She deserved a man who meant to stay in Bellaroo Creek.

He crushed his plate into a ball. He wasn’t any of those things.

But…

There was one more thing she deserved. ‘Tess?’

‘Hmm?’

‘I think you’re making a big mistake.’

She swung to him, brown eyes wide and alert. ‘About?’

‘Giving up your music.’

Her face closed up. ‘I haven’t given it up. I’m giving music lessons for the school, aren’t I? Ty, Krissie and I sing all the time—I’m teaching them to harmonise. As for being on stage—’

‘I’m not talking about being on stage. Tess, when was the last time you played the piano or picked up a guitar?’

She flinched. ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’

‘I think it has everything to do with it.’

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about.’

Every instinct he had told him he was right. Sacrificing something that was such a part of who she was would damage her in a fundamental way. Maybe not this year or the next, but eventually. ‘Do you think Sarah would approve of you punishing yourself like this?’