Kitabı oku: «The Last Marchetti Bachelor», sayfa 3

Chapter Three

A week after breaking the news to Luke, Madison stared at the blinking cursor on her office computer screen and silently begged it to spit out just the right words. He had taken her advice, made an appointment and would be there any minute. She had to hand him over to her associate. And she had to tell him she was going to have a baby. She’d done the test—several times, different brands. Pink and plus signs danced before her eyes until she couldn’t doubt it any longer. He had a right to know. But how could she dump that news on him now?

How could she not?

The intercom on her desk buzzed. She pushed the button. “Yes, Connie?”

“Mr. Marchetti is here to see you.”

“Send him in,” she said, then clicked off.

Moments later her office door opened, and in he walked. She was vaguely surprised that he wasn’t wearing business attire since it was the middle of the workday. But she had to admit his worn jeans and the black T-shirt that hugged his broad chest and muscular biceps could redefine business casual. As far as the females in the workforce were concerned.

The room seemed to shrink when he stood in front of her desk. Suddenly she didn’t have enough oxygen, and it wouldn’t have mattered if she had a tank of the stuff hooked up to a mask over her face. Besides it was a flammable chemical and could create a dangerous situation. Whenever she and Luke were in the same room they set off sparks like burning logs shifting in the fireplace. The stage was set for a monumental conflagration—emotional, personal, professional.

“Hello, Luke. How are you?”

“How do you think I am?”

She studied his face, the dark circles under his eyes, the deep creases bracketing his nose and mouth. He looked so tired. In spite of all her self-warnings, her heart went out to him before she could snatch it back. “Are you sleeping? You look awful.”

“Thanks very much,” he said, one corner of his mouth quirking up. He sat in one of the powder-blue barrel-backed chairs in front of her desk. “That’s the pot calling the kettle black. You don’t look so hot yourself.”

There was a reason for that, but she couldn’t just blurt it out. He would start to think she was Typhoid Mary. Every time he saw her she told him something life altering. He would start avoiding her like the plague. That might be for the best, she thought, as at the same time something deep inside her protested.

“I’m fine. Busy.” She laced her trembling fingers together and rested her clasped hands on the paperwork piled on her desk. “What can I do for you?”

“I want to discuss the will.”

“You talked to your mother?”

He nodded. “She confirmed that Brad Stephenson is my biological father.”

“I’m so sorry, Luke. I know it will take some time for you to deal with all the ramifications—”

“Like his estate,” he said crisply. “We should get business out of the way first.”

She ignored his implication that he had a second reason for being there. Probably personal. She had to nip that in the bud. But disregarding the wave of heat radiating through her at the very idea was considerably more difficult. “I’ll buzz Nate McDonald,” she said starting to reach for the phone. “I’ll send you down the hall to his office if he’s available. He has the file.”

Luke leaned forward and stopped her with a soft touch from his large, warm hand. “I want you.”

A shiver raced over her arm and down her back from the physical contact, but mostly from the intensity in his gaze, focusing so unwaveringly on her. She swallowed hard. “I can’t. We already talked about this.”

“Okay,” he said, nodding with resignation. “I need to grovel. I suppose I deserve it.” He gently squeezed her hand, then removed his own. “I apologize for doubting you. I should never have questioned your honesty and integrity.”

“Apology unnecessary but gladly accepted,” she said, missing the warmth of his touch.

“Thanks. You’re very magnanimous. Now about the will. Do you want—”

She shook her head. “You don’t understand, Luke. I appreciate the fact that you realize I wasn’t lying to you. But that doesn’t change anything. It’s best for you to see my associate.”

“Why?”

“You know why,” she said.

“Tell me again.” His mouth straightened to a grim line.

“All right.” She did her best to rein in her runaway emotions, not an easy feat when pregnancy hormones were thrown into the mix. “There must be absolute trust between attorney and client. If you could entertain the slightest doubt that I was telling you the truth, it’s best if you see someone else.”

“You have to admit what you told me was a shocker. If Mother Teresa had dropped that bombshell on me I’d have called her a liar.”

“But you didn’t sleep with her.” She looked at her clasped hands as heat suffused her cheeks. It was hard to maintain the upper hand while she sat there with humiliation in living color on her face. “It was a mistake. We can’t take it back. And it compromised our association. It changed everything.”

Boy did it ever. Tell him now, she thought. It would be relatively simple to segue into “You’re not going to believe what happened.” But the expression on his face stopped her. It was a look somewhere between anger and pain, laced with a healthy dose of irritation. She’d never seen anyone drowning, but Luke’s face showed her what a man would look like going down for the third time. Not now, she decided. She just couldn’t bring herself to do it yet.

“Look, Maddie, I just found out everything familiar to me is a fabrication. I don’t understand any of it—”

“It will take some time. But there’s no doubt in my mind that your parents love you. I think they were just trying to protect you.”

“That’s what she said.”

“Your mother?” she asked, chilled by the coldness in his tone. “You don’t believe her?”

“Why should I? She cheated on Tom and passed me off as his son all these years. Give me one good reason why I should believe her now, Maddie.”

She didn’t have the heart to correct him on the nickname. “Put yourself in her shoes, Luke. Wouldn’t you try to do what was best for everyone involved?” Madison folded her arms across her abdomen. She was beginning to understand a mother’s protectiveness toward the tiny new life she carried. “She’s your mother. Isn’t that reason enough to trust her to do what’s best for everyone, including an innocent baby?”

“Truth is the most important thing. Up front and as soon as possible.”

She winced at his sharp tone. “You think that now. But things aren’t always black-and-white. Just wait until you have children of your own.”

His eyes went hard and cold. “I don’t ever want kids.”

Her heart skipped a beat, followed by a crushing pain that stole her breath. “You don’t mean that.”

“The hell I don’t. Why would I want to bring a kid into this world? What could I give him? I don’t know who I am, and the people I once trusted aren’t who I thought.”

“All the more reason for you to see my associate.” That would give her time to catch her breath from the blow he’d just dealt her.

He stood up and set his palms on her desk as he leaned close. The fragrance of his aftershave drifted to her mixed with the essence of Luke. She’d spent just a single night in his arms, yet she remembered it so well. But in the flesh Luke was so much more compelling than her memories. If she spent time with him, how was she supposed to resist him? Yet he’d just told her he didn’t want children. Why would he want her? No, she had to keep her distance. The potential for pain was too great. Somehow she would pull herself together. Somehow she would tell him because it was the right thing to do. He had the right to know. But that time wasn’t now.

“Maddie, listen to me. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. But you caught me off guard. This is the bottom line—you’re the one person who had the guts to tell me the truth. I know you always will. I need that now more than ever. I don’t want a stranger. I want you.”

In spite of the curve he’d just thrown her, she felt his pain. She wanted to ignore her instinctive caution and give him what he needed. She almost blurted out that she would handle the matter. But spending time with him would be a disaster. The attraction hadn’t abated. On the contrary, it was stronger. At least on her part. They smoldered together. They could go up in flames without warning. It happened once; it would happen again. She was certain of it.

But she had a new little someone depending on her and her alone. Especially since Luke had made it clear that he didn’t want to be a part of the experience. Now, more than ever, it was important for her to build her career. Before it had been about justifying her own existence, showing the world that it could be a better place for her having been here. Now her job was about someone else’s well-being. A dalliance with one of the firm’s most influential clients was ethical gray area. But it could derail her career plan as easily as saying, “fiduciary responsibility.”

A small voice inside her said putting him off was more about protecting her heart. She was in charge of the Marchetti business file. But what he was asking her to do was personal, not business. It was her call whether or not to take it on.

“Luke, I can’t handle this matter for you. We crossed a line. There’s no way to go back, and neither one of us wants to go forward—”

“Speak for yourself.”

She stared at him. “That’s it. That’s the reason right there.”

“What reason?”

“Why I can’t handle this. You put a personal spin on everything.”

“You’re in charge of the Marchetti business—” He stopped, and his blue eyes went cold. “Is it because I’m not a Marchetti?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. No matter who your father was, you’re still the same exasperating man you always were.”

He grinned. “I knew you would do this for me. Why don’t you get the file and we can go over it. We can order in lunch. I’ll buy and—”

It would be so easy to let him sweep her away. Just like that night. But she couldn’t afford to lose her grasp on objectivity. She had to keep her eye on the ball. Her career was so much more important than ever before.

“No, Luke. It would be best if you talk to Nate about this. Let me call him in—”

He straightened and backed one step away from her desk. When she had the courage to meet his gaze, winter was back in his eyes.

“Forget it, Maddie.”

Without saying anything else, he turned and walked out of her office. She would have felt better if he’d yelled at her and slammed the door. She would have felt better if he’d slid her his boyish grin, his seductive smile, his wolfish, hang-on-to-your-hat-here-I-come expression. All of the above she could handle. But that look of abject desolation made her feel like the worst despicable lawyer joke she’d ever heard.

“Oh, Luke. Please don’t do anything desperate.”

From the picture windows in his family room, Luke stared down at the lights in the San Fernando Valley north of Los Angeles. A vision of Maddie came to him. There was something so fragile about her. Was that why he couldn’t stay angry at her for turning him down?

That feeling didn’t extend to his parents. He didn’t blame Tom, except for the conspiracy of silence. But his mother… How could she sleep with another man, then live a lie? Worse, how could she let him live a lie?

Anger still burned hot in him, but before he could explore it further, the doorbell rang. Maddie had turned her back on him. There wasn’t anyone he was expecting or even wanted to see. He was tempted to ignore whoever was there, but something made him curious.

He opened the door and was surprised to see Maddie, holding a large brown bag. Before he could stop it, a sensation of pleasure welled up inside him.

“Hi,” he said. He pulled the door wide. “Come on in.”

“Thanks.”

“You brought food if my sense of smell is still working.” He sniffed. “And I’m guessing it didn’t come from a Marchetti restaurant.”

“I was craving Chinese.” Her sweet, hesitant smile burrowed inside him and surrounded his heart.

“Then I’m guessing you’re going to join me?” At her nod, he took the bag from her. “Let’s go into the kitchen.”

“Okay.”

Her heels clicked on the entryway tile as she followed him, then went silent when they got to the plush beige living room carpet.

“I like your furniture,” she said, wryly commenting on the empty space. “It allows one’s imagination free rein.”

“I haven’t had a chance to furnish the room yet.”

“How long have you lived here?”

“A couple of years.”

“Ah. I see your dilemma of time versus motivation.” She slid him a saucy look. “Maybe you haven’t heard. There’s a handy little invention called a decorator. You just pick up the phone, tell them what you want and they do all the footwork. It can be done from the convenience of home or office.”

He glanced down at her and couldn’t help grinning. “Is that sass? From my attorney?”

“I’m not your attorney,” she reminded him.

In the kitchen, he set the bag on the tile of the center island and pulled two plates from the cupboard closest to the nook where the table sat.

“Sell it somewhere else, Counselor. Why else would you be here with food?”

“A peace offering.” She pulled several white cartons from the bag and started opening them. “Where do you hide serving utensils?”

“Why? Are you planning to cut my heart out with a spoon?”

“As appealing as that sounds,” she said, wrinkling her cute little freckle-dotted nose, “I just thought it would be easier than scooping up dinner with our hands.”

“The only spoons I have are in the drawer below where I keep the plates,” he said, not moving an inch from in front of that very spot.

“I didn’t come here as your attorney.” Head tipped engagingly to the side, she stared up at him, and her teasing look faded.

There was a wary expression in her eyes, as if she didn’t want to move that close to him to get what she was after. But she finally did and stood in front of him waiting for him to move. He took a deep breath, drawing in the sweet, flowery, innocent scent of her. It went straight inside him and made his blood flow hot through his veins.

Reluctantly he stepped to the side so she could reach in the drawer. “Why did you come, Maddie?”

She stuck spoons in the beef and broccoli and the fried rice, then met his gaze. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

She snorted. “Don’t go macho on me, Luke. I saw the look in your eyes when you walked out of my office earlier.”

“What look?”

“The last time I checked, you were smarter than the average bear. I think you know what I’m talking about. I’d rather have macho than moron.”

“Moron?” he said, his mouth twitching as he tried not to laugh.

He liked the way she met him—tough instead of touchy-feely. A straight talker, his Maddie. No, not his. She’d made that clear. And did he even want her to be his?

He’d never been in love. He’d reached a point where he considered the merits of just settling for someone as opposed to being alone. Then everything went crazy. Maddie had given him her innocence and what was probably the best night of his life. Then he’d found out his father wasn’t his father. Right now he didn’t know what he wanted, especially in the relationship department. All he could think about was this moment. And at this moment he was awfully damn glad Maddie Wainright was here.

“Don’t play dumb. It’s pretty unattractive. You walked out of my office like a thunderstorm ready to drop baseball-size hail on Encino.”

“You were worried about me,” he guessed. Inside he was doing a high-five.

“Good heavens, no.”

“You’re not a good liar, Maddie.”

“No? I thought the world-at-large perceived lawyers to be the best liars.”

He wondered why her expression changed from saucy to studiously blank. He wondered why he even noticed or how he knew her well enough to identify the look.

“This isn’t about your profession. Admit it. You were afraid I would do something rash, reckless.”

“Puhleeze,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic. I merely stopped by with food because you have to eat.”

He’d filled a plate, then set it on the table and stood beside it while he waited for her. “Okay, Counselor,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Your job is to wrestle the truth from witnesses. Mine is numbers. And my guess is there’s a 99.9 percent chance that you’re here because you have a guilty conscience.”

She dropped the spoon as her gaze snapped to his so fast he thought she would get whiplash. And her face went chalk white. “Wh-why would I feel guilty?”

“Because you turned down my request to handle Brad Stephenson’s estate.”

She finished putting a paltry amount of food on her plate, then joined him at the table. He came around and held her chair as she sat at a right angle to him. “I suppose that’s true. And I wanted to make sure you were all right. You looked so—desperate—I wasn’t sure what you might do.”

“I’m really okay,” he said.

“I see that. But don’t guys drive too fast when they’re upset? Do self-destructive things? I wanted to be certain you made it home.”

“Um, Maddie, there’s this handy little invention called the telephone.” He mimicked her earlier teasing tone. “You pick it up, dial my number, and if I answer, I’m okay.”

“I needed to see you,” she blurted out.

The words, unrehearsed, straight from her heart warmed him clear to his battered soul. “And do I look all right?” he asked, meeting her gaze.

Her green eyes widened slightly, and her breathing quickened just a fraction. In a voice that was just a bit unsteady, she said, “You look fine,” she said, almost whispering the last word.

“Is there another reason you needed to see me?” he guessed.

She put her fork down after moving the food around her plate. “Yes. I want to make certain you understand and are okay with why I can’t handle this legal matter for you.”

He was about to say he understood. She’d explained that it was business and the night they’d spent together precluded them from their former working relationship. He didn’t like it one single bit, but he got it. Then he noticed a little-girl-lost look in her eyes. Something told him to let her talk.

He put his fork down. “Okay. I’m listening.”

“It’s about my parents.”

He put his hand over his heart and three fingers up in the Boy Scout salute. “I swear I never did anything to them if that’s why you’re cutting me loose.”

She laughed. “I’m not accusing you of anything. Talk about a guilty conscience. And why does it always have to be about you? Has anyone ever told you that you’re self-absorbed?”

“Hey, I’m having a personal crisis, slick.” It felt so good to tease. Maddie was the only one he felt he could be like that with. He needed that now. She was good for him. “If you came here to stroke my ego and make me feel better, you’re not doing a very good job.”

“I need to tell you about me so you’ll understand why I have to take myself off your file.” She took a deep breath. “You know I have a brother. He’s six years older. He was the obligatory heir my mother was required to produce. He was in school and she was happily pursuing her own thing when she found out she was pregnant.”

“With you.”

“I once overheard her tell my father that I was an accident.” She drew in a deep breath. “By definition that’s an unforeseen, unwanted event resulting from carelessness. A nonessential property.”

How could anyone not want her? Nonessential? She was pretty important to him. That message had come through loud and clear when she’d refused to handle his legal affairs. But this was about her.

“It happens. That doesn’t mean they don’t love you,” he protested.

She had such an odd, half-hopeful, half-forlorn expression on her face. Damn, he wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her it was true. Not only that, he wanted her. But he knew it wasn’t what she needed just then. With a supreme effort of will, he sat without moving. “Of course they love you.”

She shrugged. “In their own way. Maybe. But that meant nannies and boarding school. Now they’re on the east coast and I’m on the west. And never the twain shall meet. The point is, my career is very important to me.”

He couldn’t help feeling she’d stopped short of saying it was all she had. “You don’t need to justify your existence.”

“Yes, I—” She stopped, then clasped her hands so tightly her knuckles turned white. “How did you know that?”

“I minored in psych in college. I needed to balance the math classes.” His father—Tom, he mentally corrected—had suggested that. “You’re a vital, valuable woman. Period.”

She twisted her fingers together. “Intellectually I know you’re right. But in my heart, I need to do something worthwhile. Maybe pro bono work, legal aid. Help people who can’t afford counsel. I’m on the fast track at the firm. The higher I go, the more I can do.”

“What does that have to do with representing me?”

“We can’t go back to the way things were before—” she stopped and briefly met his gaze “—that night. And we can’t go forward with a personal association. Neither of us wants that. You’re a confirmed bachelor.”

“Is that so?” Why did her assessment yank his chain?

“Of course. If you had wanted to settle down, you’d have done it by now. And I’m committed to my career and the power that success can give me. That cancels out moving forward.”

“I still don’t see what that has to do with handling the details of my late father’s estate.”

“You refuse to see. If I take care of your file, we would be working together. A lot. I can’t take the chance that our business dealings could take a personal turn and jeopardize my job. I told you once before that at the very least it’s the suggestion of impropriety.”

“You make a good case. And you’re right. I choose not to see. Because you’re a talented and gifted attorney. Two reasons why I need you to help me.”

“What’s the third?”

He waited to answer, long enough to let her gaze swing to his and lock there. “Good or bad, you know who your parents are. I never had the opportunity to meet my biological father, let alone get to know him. Now I never will. I won’t have the chance to like or dislike him. To try to be different—or the same.”

“To win his love?” she asked gently.

His gaze shot to hers, and he was relieved there was no pity in it. Nothing but gentleness. Sweetness. He could wrap himself in her softness if only she would let him. But he knew her reference to love was about herself and her ongoing battle with parents who didn’t show it. Or as she believed, just didn’t feel it. He wanted to throttle them. She would be so easy to love. He’d been drawn to her two years ago, the first time they met. Something about her still pulled him now. But emotionally, he had nothing to give her.

“This isn’t about love, Maddie. It’s about finding out who I am. I’ve lost my family. I don’t have any of the people I used to have. My support system is gone. I don’t even have the opportunity to confront the guy who is half responsible for the hell I’m living. You are the only constant in my life.”

“Luke, that’s not true. You have—”

“It feels true. It’s as true as you believing you have to validate your existence. You’re the only one I have left. I’m asking you to help me with this.”

She stood and walked to the sliding glass doors, staring at the lights of the valley for a long time. Her shoulders slumped, and finally she turned. “I have one condition.”

“Anything.”

“It has to be strictly business. I mean it, Luke. Nothing personal. At all. We can’t do wh-what we did. Never again. Lawyer, client. End of story.”

“Okay.”

“I mean it. I want your word.”

“If I had a Bible, I would swear on it.”

“I can’t do this,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re making a joke out of it.” She started for the front door.

He intercepted her easily and stopped her with his hands on her shoulders. Gently he tightened his grip until she lifted her gaze to his.

“Maddie, if I don’t joke I’m going to crack into a million pieces. Humor is keeping me sane. And you’re the one person I can count on for what I need—humor, teasing, and most important of all—the truth. Cut me some slack, okay? I don’t want anything personal any more than you do. My life is a shambles. Do you think I have room for a relationship? You have my word that there will be nothing between us but business.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “And you have my word that I’ll handle this matter to the best of my ability. With integrity, discretion and honesty.”