Kitabı oku: «Season of Joy»

Chapter One

A dark tidal wave of fear swept through Calista Sheffield as she paused at the door of the Downtown Denver Mission. She took a deep breath and wiped damp palms on the legs of her jeans. Her image was reflected in the glass door as clearly as in a mirror, the bright Rocky Mountain sunshine as backlighting. Giving her casual outfit a quick scan, she tucked a strand of honey-blond hair behind her ear and tugged at the hem of her black cashmere sweater. She prayed no one in the shelter would be able to tell the difference between Donna Karan and a knockoff, because she wasn’t here to impress anyone. She was here to volunteer.

Her reflection showed a pair of large green eyes shadowed with anxiety. Calista squinted, hating her own weakness. There was no reason to be afraid when she ran a multimillion-dollar company. She gripped the handle and swung it open, striding inside before the heat escaped.

The exterior of the five-story mission was a bit worse for wear, but the inside seemed clean and welcoming. In the center of the enormous lobby, a tall pine tree bowed under the weight of handmade ornaments and twinkling lights. Calista’s gaze darted toward a group of men clustered near the double doors at the far end. Probably the cafeteria. Maybe she was just in time to help serve a turkey dinner with trimmings. A vision of handing a plate piled high with steaming mashed potatoes and gravy to some desperate soul passed through her mind’s eye. This was going to be great.

No, this was going to be more than great; the start to a whole new life. Not like the lonely existence she had right now with only her passive-aggressive Siamese cat for company. No more pretending she had somewhere to go on Thanksgiving, then suffering through everyone else’s happy chatter after the holiday. It was her own fault for letting work take over her life, but that was all in the past.

This Christmas would be different.

Calista scanned the lobby for a secretary. The long, curving desk spanned the area between the elevator and far wall, but it was empty. An oversize wooden cross took center stage on a staggered section of ceiling that connected the lobby to the upper level. A small smile tugged at her lips, thinking of how that sight would have made her cringe just a few months ago.

A young man with the mission staff uniform and close-cropped dark hair exited the double doors, papers in hand. Calista stepped forward into his path.

“Excuse me, I need to see Grant Monohan,” she said, in the tone she reserved for secretaries and assistants. Her eyes flicked from his deep brown eyes to the ID badge pinned to his shirt to the solid pattern of colorful tattoos that covered both of his arms from biceps to wrist.

He paused, frowned a little, glanced back at the empty desk.

“The director,” Calista added, hoping she wasn’t speaking the wrong language. His dark coppery skin and angular features made her think of paintings she’d seen of the Mayans.

“Just let me drop these papers in the office and I’ll tell him you’re here,” he said, waving the stack of papers at her. He started off again without waiting for a response and punched in a series of numbers at the keypad by the far door.

The brown patterned couches were arranged in groups of three but none of them were occupied, except the very last one, near the large windows that faced the street. An older woman sat hunched in the corner, rocking and murmuring to herself. Her brown shawl slipped off one shoulder and pooled at her feet like a stain. Dark tangles framed a wrinkled, but somehow expressionless, face. Calista swallowed a sudden wave of anxiety.

A door swung open to her right and a wheelchair-bound woman rolled to a stop behind the desk. Her short gray hair was spiked on top and touched with violet. She maneuvered to the middle of the desk just as the phone rang.

“Downtown Denver Mission, this is Lana. How may I help you?” she responded in a cheerful tone.

None of this should have made her feel queasy, but the combination of the rocking elderly woman, the young man’s tattoos and the purple-haired handicapped woman had Calista struggling with her resolve. She wandered toward the windows and gazed out at the snowy sidewalk, taking deep breaths. Life isn’t pretty, she should know that. But after ten years of clawing her way to the top of the business world, Calista had buried any memories she had of imperfection. Memories of her own rough childhood in a place where there were worse things than purple hair and tattoos.

“Ma’am?” She snapped into the present at the word spoken quietly behind her. The young man was back. “The director is just finishing up but he can see you for a few minutes before his next appointment. Go ahead and have a seat.”

Calista nodded and smiled brightly. “Thank you,” she chirped, hoping she oozed positivity and enthusiasm. They wouldn’t want unhappy people around here. She was sure they had enough of those already.

* * *

Grant Monohan checked the balance-sheet numbers for the third time. He knew better than to get upset at the decreasing number in black and the increasing number in red. The shelter scraped by most of the year until they got to the season of giving, or the “season of guilting,” as Jose called it. God had provided every day of the past seventy-five years, so he wasn’t going to start worrying now.

A light knock at the door and Jose popped his head in. “We got another one.”

Grant wanted to roll his eyes but he nodded instead.

“Actress?” Aspen’s popularity had been great for them, even all the way out here in Denver. The megarich had started to settle in the area a decade ago and it showed right around the holiday season. Every year, right when the store windows changed to sparkly decorations and Santas, the famous faces started appearing. Most were dragged in by agents or managers, but a few came on their own. They would spend a few days, sign some autographs and go away feeling good about themselves. He wasn’t one to turn away help, especially when it came with good publicity and a donation, but it got real old, real fast. Last year they had a blonde starlet stumble in with a twenty-person entourage. Most of them were as high as she was. He cringed inside, remembering the scene that erupted as he informed them of the “no alcohol, no drugs” policy.

“Not sure. She’s pretty enough but she came alone.” Jose shrugged. Grant wished he would come all the way in, or open the door wider, but Jose always seemed to be in constant motion. It was all the kid could do to hold still for a few minutes.

“Why didn’t Lana call back here?”

He shrugged again. “The lady just came up to me and said she had to see the director.”

Grant frowned, wondering if it was worse to have a volunteer who demanded special treatment, or a volunteer who ignored the disabled secretary. He stood up and stretched the kinks from his back. Maybe he’d look into a better chair after the crazy holiday rush was over. The ratty hand-me-down was obviously not made for a six-footer like himself. Or maybe turning thirty was the start of a long, slow slide into back trouble.

“Tell her I’ll be right out.” Jose’s head disappeared from the doorway. Grant crossed the small office space and absently checked his reflection in the mirror near the door. He was looking more and more like his father every year. Women told him what a heartthrob he was, like a classic movie star. They never knew how close they were to the truth. But what he saw—instead of the dark wavy hair, strong jaw and broad shoulders—was the man who walked away from his mother when he was just a kid. Grant shook his head to clear it. All things are made new in You, Lord. He had a heavenly father who would never run away and he needed to remember that.

Grant pushed open the heavy metal door and stepped into the lobby, letting the door close with a thud behind him. It wasn’t hard to pick out the new volunteer. It wouldn’t have been hard to spot her in a crowd at the Oscars, she was that pretty. She had the California party-girl look with an added healthy glow, but had wisely left the party clothes at home.

At least she was dressed conservatively. If you could call cashmere and designer jeans conservative. He sighed. Rich people could be so clueless. He watched her for a few moments as she stood near the window, arms wrapped around her middle. She sure didn’t have the confidence of a professional actress. Unless the whole nervous attitude was an act.

She turned suddenly and looked straight into his eyes as if he had called her name across the lobby. Grant felt heat creep up his neck. He must look like a stalker, standing there silently. He strode forward, forcing a welcoming expression.

“Grant Monohan,” he said, extending his hand. She took it, and he was surprised by the steadiness of her grip.

“Calista Sheffield,” she answered. “Wonderful to meet you.” The name sounded familiar. Her smile was a bit too wide, as if she was worried about making the wrong impression. Or maybe she was turning on the star power. As if that sort of thing worked on him.

“Jose told me you wanted to see me. Would you like to sit down?”

She frowned down at the couch and said, “You don’t meet with anyone in your office?”

“Actually, I don’t. We have meeting rooms for groups, and we have a reception area. There’s another building at the south end of the block that we use for most of our administration needs.”

There was a pause as she tilted her head and regarded him steadily. He could see her processing that information. “Is it a shelter policy?”

She was quick, this one. “It is. To protect the residents and myself from accusations or suspicion. We have plans drawn up for a new office that will have glass partitions but that’s still a few years away.” He motioned toward the long lobby desk. “So, for now we have Lana get pertinent information on visitors first.”

She surprised him with a grin, green eyes crinkling at the corners. “That’s usually the way it’s done, isn’t it?”

Grant hesitated, adjusting her age upward. Not for the laugh lines but for the gentle ribbing. He’d been told before he was slightly intimidating but she seemed able to hold her own.

“There was no one at the desk when I came in, so I just asked Jose.”

He gave another tally mark, this time for remembering Jose’s name. She might not be a total loss after all. He wasn’t such a fool to think she’d stay more than a few days, but maybe she could do more than sign photos.

Grant motioned to the clean but worn couch behind her. “Let’s sit down and you can tell me why you’re here.”

She settled on the edge, hands clutched together. Her anxiety was palpable. “I’d like to volunteer on a weekly basis. Not just for Thanksgiving or Christmas.”

He plopped into the corner of the couch angled toward hers, putting a good three feet of space between him and those green eyes. “Why?”

She opened her mouth, but then closed it again. He raised an eyebrow and waited patiently. She looked down at her hands, then up at him again, emotions flitting across her face. Confusion, sadness, yearning.

Grant wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her it was going to be okay. Shocked at how fast he’d forgotten his professional role, Grant frowned, eyes narrowing. She was good at playing the little lost girl, that was clear.

“Miss...” He struggled to remember anything more than those eyes trained on him.

“Sheffield,” she whispered.

“Miss Sheffield, let me tell you a little about the mission. We welcome any and all support. Seventy-five years of serving the community of downtown Denver has made our organization one of the most respected in the country. We provide shelter, addiction counseling, parenting classes, transport for schoolchildren and job training. There are five separate buildings and almost a hundred staff members.” He paused, making sure she was following him. “But everything we do here is aimed at one goal, meeting the deep spiritual needs of all people. We want to be the Gospel in action, be His hands and feet in this world.”

Usually at this point in his speech, the new recruit’s eyes glazed over. They nodded and smiled, waiting for him to finish. She leaned forward, eyes bright.

“So, you mean to say that you provide for the physical needs but the spiritual needs of the person are just as important?”

“Just as or more. If it makes you uncomfortable, there is also the Seventh Street Mission a few miles away. They are a very respected shelter that doesn’t adhere to any spiritual principles.”

“No, it doesn’t bother me at all,” she said, her whole face softening. Grant struggled to reclaim his train of thought. Maybe he needed a vacation, had been working too hard. He felt as if he was a knot with a loop missing and that smile was tugging him undone.

“Good,” he said, eyes traveling toward the plain cross on the balcony overhang. “That’s the only reason we’re here. The only reason I’m here.” He sure wasn’t in it for the money. He paused for a moment, trying to get the conversation back on track. “Did you have anything specific in mind?”

“What about the cafeteria?”

A vision passed before him of men, young and old, lined up for limp broccoli served by a stunning blonde, while the regular servers stood abandoned, lasagna pans growing cold. “How about intake or administration? You would be working with Lana to get the paperwork in order and maybe interview new visitors or assign sleeping places.”

She blinked and then nodded. “That sounds fine.”

“We’ll need to get some basic information and do a background check for security reasons. But you can start today, helping out in the cafeteria. We’ve got a lot of prep work for Thanksgiving.”

“Of course.”

“Lana can help with the details.” He stood, offering his hand once more. “It was a pleasure to meet you and I’m grateful for your willingness to serve the disadvantaged in our community.”

She stood, gripped his hand and whispered, “Thank you.”

Grant’s heart flipped in his chest as their hands met and he looked into her eyes. Her heart-shaped face shone with hope and her bright green eyes glittered with unshed tears. There was more going on here than a rich person’s guilty conscience.

But there was no way he was going to try to find out what. He had enough trouble keeping the mission afloat without adding a woman to the mix. Even a beautiful woman who reminded him that he might need something more than this place. Plus, with the secret he was carrying around, no woman in her right mind would want to get anywhere close.

* * *

Calista stood up, gripping the director’s hand, his movie-star good looks bearing down on her full force. The man should have a warning sign: Caution: Brain Meltdown Ahead. She could just see him in a promotional brochure, that slightly stern expression tempered by the concern in his eyes. He reminded her of someone, somehow.

But her heart was reacting to more than his wide shoulders or deep baritone. The man had sincere convictions, he had substance and faith. There was nothing more attractive, especially in her job, where image was everything. She wanted to have a purpose in her life beyond making money and losing friends. She wanted to wake up in the morning with more to look forward to than fighting with her board of directors and coming home to a cat who hated her guts.

She met his steady gaze and felt, to her horror, tears welling in her eyes. She tried to smile and thank him for the chance to work at the mission, but the words could barely squeeze past the large lump in her throat. Heat rose in her cheeks as she saw his look of confusion, then concern. He probably thought she was completely unstable, crying over a volunteer gig.

She dropped his hand and immediately wished she could take it back. His hand was warm and comforting, but electrifying at the same time. A short list of things she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

“Let’s go get those papers from Lana, all right?” His voice had lost its brusque tone somewhat, as if he was afraid of causing her any more distress.

Calista cleared her throat and said, “Lead the way.” She blinked furiously and turned toward the desk, hoping he couldn’t see her expression. If only he hadn’t sounded so sympathetic. If only he was pleasantly distant, the way a CEO is with employees. But he wasn’t like that; he wasn’t like her.

Grant introduced them quickly. Lana was ready with a stack of papers and handed them to Calista. She could see why the mission had a purple-haired secretary. The woman was efficient and friendly.

“Tell me when you need me and I can adjust my schedule pretty easily.” Calista bent over to fill out the papers. One of the perks of being CEO was she could take time off when she wanted some personal time. Not that she ever had before.

Grant’s eyebrows went up a bit. “We’re short-staffed right now and we could really use some help in the mornings. Maybe Wednesdays?”

“Sure, I can be here at seven.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she wondered if that was too early. Maybe the staff didn’t get here until nine. But Grant only nodded, the corners of his mouth lifting the smallest amount. She wondered for just a moment what he looked like when he laughed...

Calista’s cheeks felt hot as she dropped her gaze to the papers. Grant turned away to speak to a slim young man who was waiting behind them and Lana took the papers, glancing over them. Her eyes stopped at the employment section. “You’re head of VitaWow Beverages? I could use someone with a knowledge of grant writing.”

“I’ve written a few grant applications but they weren’t for nonprofits. And it’s been a while.”

“It was worth a shot,” Lana said, shrugging and stacking the papers together.

“But I’m sure I could work on whatever you need,” Calista said quickly.

Lana looked up, and Calista saw genuine warmth in the woman’s eyes. “That’s the spirit,” she said. “We have a grant-writing team that meets on Thursday evenings. There are only two of them right now because it’s the holiday season and everybody’s busy. It would be great to get some of these applications turned in before the January deadlines. Is that a good day for you? They might change the meeting time if you can’t come then.”

“That’s fine. Thursday’s fine,” Calista said. Any evening was fine. Five years ago she’d been busy with the dinner-

and-drinks merry-go-round. Once she was promoted to CEO, she cut out almost all the dinners. Of course, after she’d done so, Calista realized her schedule was completely empty. She was friendless and alone.

“Grant is on the team, too. He can fill you in.”

“Does the director usually work in the evenings?”

Lana laughed, a lighthearted chuckle. “You don’t know the man. It’s all about the mission, all the time.” The smile slowly faded from her face. “I know he feels at home here, and we could never survive without him, but I wish...”

Calista waited for the end of the sentence, but Lana seemed to have thought better about what she was going to say. She regarded Grant, deep in conversation with the young man, and a line appeared between her brows.

“You’re afraid he’ll wake up one day and wished he’d put more time into his own life, something apart from the mission?”

“Exactly.” She appraised Calista with a steady eye. “You’re good at reading people.”

“I suppose I know what that feels like. And you’re right, it’s no fun.” Calista dropped her eyes to the desk, wondering what it was about this place that made her feel she could be honest. She wasn’t the CEO here, she was just a woman who had lost her place in the world.

She turned back to her paperwork and said, “I can find my way to the cafeteria—”

The end of her sentence was lost in the explosion of noise that accompanied a horde of children entering the lobby. They seemed to all be talking at once, the polished lobby floor magnifying the sounds of their voices to astounding levels. Just when Calista decided there was no one in charge of the swirling group of small people, two young women came through the entryway. One was short and very young, with a thick braid over her shoulder. The other was a powerfully built middle-aged woman with a wide face and large pale eyes. They were both wearing the mission’s khaki pants and red polos under their open coats. They were laughing about something, not concerned in the least that their charges were heading straight for the director.

“Mr. Monohan!” A small girl with bright pink sunglasses yelled out the greeting as she raced across the remaining lobby space. She didn’t slow down until she made contact with his leg, wrapping her arms around it like she was drowning. He didn’t even teeter under the full impact of the flying body, just reached down and laid a large hand on the girl’s messy curls.

A huge smile creased his face and Calista’s mouth fell open at the transformation. He was a good-looking man, but add in a dash of pure joy and he was breathtaking. She tore her gaze away and met Lana’s laughing eyes behind the desk. Of course, the secretary would think it was hilarious how women fell all over themselves in his presence. Calista gathered up the papers with a snap, when she realized she was surrounded. A sea of waist-high kids had engulfed them, with the two women slowly bringing up the rear.

She sidled a glance at Grant, hoping he would tell them to clear out and let her through. But he was busy greeting one child after another. How he could tell them apart enough to learn their names was really beyond her. They just seemed an endless mass of noise and motion, a whirl of coats and bright mittens.

“Miss Sheffield, this is Lissa Handy and Michelle Guzman. They take the preschoolers down the block to the city park for an hour every day.” He was still mobbed by coats and children calling his name, but his voice cut through the babble.

Calista raised one hand in greeting, trapped against the desk, but only Michelle waved back. Lissa seemed to be sizing up the new girl.

She stood with her arms folded over her chest, unmoving. But Michelle reached out and touched her on the shoulder. “It’s wonderful to have new volunteers,” she said, her voice warm and raspy, as if she spent too much time trying to get the kids’ attention. She smelled like fresh air and snow, and Calista smiled back. Her clear blue eyes reminded her of Mrs. Allen, her third-grade teacher. That kindhearted woman had given her confidence a boost when she was just like these little people.

“I don’t know how you keep them all from escaping. It must be like herding squirrels.”

Michelle laughed, a full-throated sound that came from deep inside. “You’re right. The key is to give them some incentive. They head to the park okay, and then I tell them we’re coming back, but Mr. Monohan will be here. Easy as pie.”

Calista glanced back at Grant, his wide shoulders hunched over a little girl who was excitedly describing something that needed lots of hand waving. He was nodding, his face the picture of rapt attention.

“He seems really good with the kids. Does he have any of his own?” She suddenly wished she could snatch the words back out of the air, especially since it was followed by a snort from Lissa.

Michelle ignored her partner’s nonverbal comment. “No, he’s never been married. I keep telling him he needs to find someone special and settle down. He was one of the youngest directors the mission had ever had when he started here, but this place can take over your life if you let it.”

“But that’s what he wants, so don’t stick your nose in.” So, Lissa did have a voice. A young, snarky voice, coming from a sullen face. She flipped her dark braid off her shoulder and stuck her hands in her pockets. Calista wondered how old Lissa was, probably not more than nineteen. Just the age when a girl might fall in love for the first time.

“You’ll understand when you’re older, Lissa. But there’s more to life than work, even if your work is filled with people like ours is here,” Michelle said.

Lissa’s face turned dark and threatening, like a storm cloud. “You always say stuff like that. I don’t think my age has anything to do with my brain.”

Spoken like a true teenager. Calista tried to smooth ruffled feathers. “Michelle’s right that everyone needs a family or friends separate from work.” Lissa’s face twisted like she was ready to pour on the attitude. Calista hurried to finish her thought. “But not everybody is happiest being married, with a family. Like me. I don’t think it would be fair to have a boyfriend when my work takes up so much of my time.”