Kitabı oku: «How to help yourself in a difficult moment. Invitation to a new life»

© Vladimir S. Lavrov, 2018

ISBN 978-5-4493-3214-1

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Introduction

Oh, how many difficulties can fall to the share of each individual! Cheating, betrayal, betrayal, bullying, rudeness, beating, sickness, loss… Negative past, whether we want it or not, every man has!

How to let go of your past and learn to live the present? How to let go of the people for whom you once lived? How to learn not to cling to those people who have left? It’s not easy, but let’s learn it.

Think: why do you hold onto your past? Because it was good for you there? But where did you get that can not be better? Do not you realize that the roots of many of your problems lie in your attachment to the past? Release it – and many of your problems will disappear!

You were not born to suffer. You were born and live to rejoice, laugh, feel like a happy person and share your joy with the surrounding people. Therefore, your duty to people is to find a way to get rid of suffering and start living again. No matter how hard you are now.

Yes, the losses hurt us. But the pain will pass if you release it. Just do not hold on to it. Do not think about it. And slowly, but surely get out of the swamp, which turned out to be. Now is the best time for this.

P.S. Initially, the book was written in Russian and only after that it was translated into English. Due to the specific differences between Russian and English, the author could allow minor inaccuracies in the translation. Do not judge strictly, for the English language for the author is not native. If possible, treat indulgently with possible mistakes and wrong words in the text. Remember that only those who do nothing do not make mistakes! Try to understand the essence of what the author wanted to say. Then you will get the most benefit from reading this book.

Chapter 1. The Swamp

How does it all begin?

All your problems, oddly enough, start with grievances.

Resentment is a feeling that arises when you think that you have been treated unfairly. They abandoned you, forced you to suffer, humiliated… And offended, you show that you want the attitude towards you changed. That you started to respect, appreciate, understand and love. But believe me, other people do not care about this… They are busy only with themselves. Unfortunately, this is the truth of life. And only you yourself can begin to respect yourself, appreciate, understand and love. It is unreasonable to demand this from others.

Why do you save your grievances? To the next quarrel to get them and present to their offender! But believe me, he wanted to sneeze at your grievances! If you are offended by someone and can not forgive the offense, then it will only be worse for you. If you want to continue to suffer, then continue to take offense. But if you want to start to rejoice and live fully, choose not to be offended! Forgiveness is not necessary! Just choose not to be offended and do not be offended anymore!

How to do it? Yes, it’s very simple! You just need to understand that other people do not owe you anything! They do not owe you anything! They are not required to do what you want! They do not have to run after you and fulfill all your desires and whims! Learn to respect them! And then they will respect you too!

Think: why did you give power to others in the hands of others? Do not you see that you have become their slave? Look, here someone is clicking on an invisible button (tells you, for example, that you are a pig) and you obediently take offense! And another clicked on another invisible button (for example, he left you and left) and you obediently began to suffer and experience! Do not you see how your own emotions control you like a doll? Shame on you?

You are the master of your destiny! You can stop at any time and say to yourself: “I do not want to go on about other people’s ideas! Let them do what they want, and I will still enjoy life!”

And if you still harbor some offense to someone and do not know what to do with it – so it happens, do not worry – just buy a dozen colored balls and start to inflate them, blowing in them all your resentment, all your rage and all your anger. As soon as you swindle, say to yourself: “in these balls, all the worst that happened to me” and start them to crumple, beat and bite! Watch how the balls burst and together with them all your grievances and problems disappear! Shovel them until the heart becomes light, warm and happy!

If the balls do not help or you think it’s too childish, then buy a punching bag and beat it.

Treason and betrayal

When you start a relationship with another person, you knowingly put yourself in a vulnerable position. You are pretty defenseless before betrayals and betrayals. When you are betrayed, you, of course, can humiliate a person, but this will make you feel even worse. You can take revenge, but from your revenge you can suffer yourself. So when you are betrayed, stop and take one step back to gather strength. After that, soberly appreciating what happened, be reconciled with the idea that it should be so.

Perhaps this is your personal guardian angel, taking care of your well-being, deprived you of the society of the person who led you to death? Maybe this is your personal guardian angel who has tried to lead you on your own road, where you will soon find your happiness? Such a thought can help you get rid of grievances.

Think, but what if, in fact, the person you lost could bring you even more serious problems in the future? Think about it, and suddenly you would not be happy with it! Think, what if your happiness is connected with another person whom you did not notice before? And the guardian angel helped you get off the wrong road leading to the accident, so you do not miss your way? Think about it.

No matter how hard you are now, think about the fact that everything always happens exactly as it should. All goes to good! And direct your energy, your strengths not to destruction, but to building.

In history, there are many examples where a devotee (outcast, humiliated, insulted or the like) was selected from the swamp of experiences and, having seriously taken up any business, rose above his experiences and fears. For example, the famous French composer Hector Berlioz, who for several years sought the location of the Irish actress Henrietta Smithson and rejected it, sent all the power of her emotions and feelings to create her “Fantastic Symphony”. In this symphony, he portrayed a disgusting witch who rejected him as an abominable witch, as a result of which he got rid of his torment and stopped loving her (by the way, they later got married and after a few years divorced – although this is not relevant, just a curious fact). Take this to your notice…