Kitabı oku: «Tales Written by the Dying in Awe», sayfa 2

On My Experience of Collecting Stars

When I lived on earth, I flew to an impossible height at night; walked on clouds, singing psalms; and collected stars in my pannier, and with happy laughter, I scattered them as if sowing seeds in forests and fields. Then, when the time to descend came, I saw that close to the earth’s surface, the stars transformed into fireflies. This is why I never could understand the difference between stars and fireflies. But I knew that I was able to collect the entire universe.

The most important thing was to fetch a big enough pannier. As for its weight, it weighed nothing, because the real universe is spiritual. Regardless of what telescopes people invent, they will not see the real universe. Regardless of what cosmic spaceships people build, they will not manage to get there.

In order to soar above clouds, there is no need for wings. In order to cry with happiness, there is no need for eyes. In order to kiss heaven, there is no need for lips. In order to hug a creation, there is no need for arms. In order to sing about your love to the highest being in existence, there is no need for a voice. In order to understand the Everlasting, there is no need for a brain. In order to live forever, there is no need for a body.

A man does not need anything. What he needs is only to receive the grace of reverence before the creator and before all that he sees and hears. Even if the creations of a human brain seem ugly, a vision of ugliness is nothing more than a distortion of an earthly perception. Everywhere there is the Great Inconceivable; everywhere there is its Holy Spirit. If by chance you do not see it, close your eyes and praise the creator; declare your love to it and to what seems to you to be different from what you would desire.

A time will come – though you see nothing of it – that you will not need spiritual wings, as you will acquire a celestial immobility. You will have no need for spiritual eyes in order to cry, because you yourself will become a happy cry. You will have no need for spiritual lips, because you will transform into a kiss. You will have no chance to hug, because you will be a hug itself. You will find yourself being an existing, soundless hymn of love that mysteriously echoes across the entire universe. You will be celestial love itself, and this is why it will turn out that you do not need a mind. Furthermore, there will be no trouble with taking care of your body or catering to it.

This is why you must let yourself be a person with peculiarities and shortfalls. Be yourself. And remember that at night, it is possible to walk on clouds and collect stars in a pannier.

Truth of Life

A clever townsperson starved in a village, while a stupid peasant lived in abundance. The townsperson had neither the skills nor the dexterity to grow food.

A one-legged man ran ahead of a three-legged man, because he pushed off harder.

A living creature without genitals reproduced itself more successfully than a living creature with huge genitals did, because it did so in another, easier way.

A blind person turned out to have more foresight than a five-eyed person, because he possessed a spiritual vision.

A person with no ears heard better than a four-eared person did, because his hearing organ was more perfect.

A headless person was cleverer than a two-headed one was, because he just thought with his heart.

On the other hand, a living creature with ten fingers could play the piano, while an armless one was not able to.

Happy and Unhappy Kings

Unhappy is the king who rules according to his moods or to speculative ideas. For a while, he is able to obtain respect or even love. But that time will pass away, and his people will curse both his fantasies or ideas and he himself; after all, any ideas on earth are false.

Happy is the king who feels himself a tiny particle of his human body – the king in whom his people’s blood circulates and who is full of his people’s spirit. Such a ruler does not point out the way to his subjects. He does not instruct them but exists with them in perfect unity. He is the precise incarnation of his people’s conscious desires and is happy to be so. But even more magnificent is the monarch who embodies the hopes that live only in his people’s subconsciousness.

Such a king is deified by his subjects, and they are not mistaken. It is happiness to be under the wing of such a ruler! His subjects realize clearly that this monarch is a messenger of heaven or maybe the son of God himself, a great prophet, the motherland’s savior. Such a ruler will remain a bright star in the people’s memory forever. And if this benefactor’s terrible crimes are discovered after his death, the people will not accept the denouncement. Any crimes committed by this favored person of God were crimes of the people themselves. Who is honest enough to blame himself for what has happened? And finally, who will commit the blasphemy of infringing on the holy will of the Everlasting and humiliate his messenger?

Discourses about Love

Once I tempted the hermit with the question of what love is.

“It is hardly possible to explain,” he replied.

But I didn’t give up. And this is what I heard: “Love is probably the most unusual thing in the world,” the hermit started reluctantly, “if, of course, one does not mean the passionate attraction between living creatures, or lust, which is even worse than that. It is fine to deify love. But in worshiping it, be careful, for love is created by the sky of heaven. It is the cause of love, and the cause of love is something that has no signs, something that is impossible to describe.”

“But people describe everything by assigning human qualities to the surrounding world, especially invisible phenomena,” I argued.

“This burden is on their conscience; it is up to them,” the hermit said. “As for me, I am a human. This is why I too venture to describe love. In my opinion, love is a medium, like shining spiritual bubbles similar to those that appear upon the opening of a soda bottle. These bubbles move slowly from the bottom of the bottle to the top and then down again. They seize our consciousness, penetrate our soul, fill it, and bring to it a state of unexplainable happiness. This is similar to staying inside of a spring. Forgive me, the marvelous one.”

“So love has a source as a spring does?”

“I think it has. A great source. This is why love is only a secondary cause creating something according to the will of the sky of heaven. Perhaps it is identical to the spiritual sky. Perhaps it is the third great thing created by the sky of heaven, along with the earth and sky.”

“To put it more precisely, with material and nonsubstantial matter?” I asked.

“You understand correctly.”

“Love is dispassionate. In this respect, it resembles its parent. And like this essence, this sexless parent, love has no signs.”

“That image that I described for you with regard to love is, of course, just a fantasy,” he said. “In the first place, this is because love is immobile. But it can enter and leave both the soul and the consciousness of a living creature. In Christianity, there exists a notion called the Holy Spirit, and in Taoism, there is te. This is what love is.”

“But if love enters and leaves, this talk is about motion, is it not? And in the Bible, it is written that the Spirit of God ‘was hovering over.’”

“I was imprecise. Love does not move, but rather it appears and grows thin. In order for it to be born, it is necessary to pray to the sky of heaven. But this is not enough. After it appears, love needs to be fostered. Otherwise it disappears. And then a living creature finds himself adrift in the waves of the sea of common life.”

“So love is mortal?” I asked.

“Can love die? Maybe, since it is birthed by the sky of heaven. But it seems to us that love is indestructible. Because after getting thin and disappearing, love appears again.”

“Is it correct that love moves to its antithesis – hatred – and then from that it transforms into the state that we call love?”

“Alas, you are in the grip of your customary notions. This pair of opposites, love and hatred, belongs to the area of passionate, dark affections. It has no relation to a spiritual love.”

I realized that all I had heard was too sophisticated and distant from earthly matters. However, it was my own fault; it is not worth asking something that cannot be answered. It is even worse to ask someone who does not think in an earthly way.

Consciousness, “Pure” and “Overshadowed”

Human brains, consciousness, how much they consist of! How many acts can be performed by a human being with the aid of the consciousness and brain! There are people who think that consciousness is almighty, that one’s fate depends entirely on it, both while living in one’s body and even after death. Nevertheless, my spiritual experience says that there exists an area of unconscious matters. For example, it is possible to go to a temple and renounce sins and, in defiance of one’s brain, to make one’s fate more favorable. The almighty consciousness turns out to be disgraced.

The brain of a common earthly living creature is overshadowed by passions and ideas: scientific ones, religious ones, artistic ones, sensual- pleasure ones, and so on. It seems to me that such brains (or such consciousnesses) stick to the action field of religions, of the great law of retribution – the law of cause-and-effect relations. People with such consciousnesses are prisoners of the ideas of right and wrong, truth and lie, light and darkness, and so on. Throughout their lives, such people struggle against the cobweb of their earthly notions and buzz plaintively. It does not matter how eagerly they try to overcome what is written about them in the Book of Life – here they are! It would seem that they have already broken the manacles of predestination! But destiny laughs at them. And here you are, brought to shame and struggling as those flies do, helpless, captivated by the worldwide spider.

Meanwhile, the brains of other people are awful, blasphemous apparatuses. Only just for a look it may seem overshadowed by a religion or a philosophy. But in fact, these brains glow with a monstrous purity and virginity. Unlike the ones described above, such brains are unaware of right and wrong. They feel no remorse. People with such brains are indefinitely impudent. And in this impudence they are inaccessible, above the world, and they rule it – or so it seems to them.

The virgin brain conceives or twists matters according to its own need for an unharmed, prosperous, sound, and even happy existence. It is higher than the mind of the world. This is why heaven’s punishment does not reach this brain. This brain reigns supreme not only in the community of earthly living creatures but maybe even in the entire universe.

Holders of such “pure” brains take possession of the world more and more often. Their spiritual commonality is widened and multiplied. It becomes overwhelming and gains features of the one creating existence itself. And we involuntarily bow down before this essence. It wins. As for those who oppose it, they are just destroyed. Such is the will of the Most High with regard to us. Let us thank it.

Say Only Nice Things to Me

Say only nice things to me. I want to know that there is a harmony in your soul. If this is truth, then let your lips be full of sonorities, and may a contradicting note never besmirch them. Act so when my consciousness stays on the sky. How easily will it be for me to pray then!

The honey of your speeches forces my psalms to shine especially bright yet invisible light. When love is the cause of your words, there is no need to speak about love. No, do not speak to me about it, because a word cannot express love.

It is enough that you love, and this is why I ask you to say only nice things to me. Those trifles that I hear from you resemble plants, fed with the underground moisture of your love. On earth, a drought is possible. But those plants fed by love are always juicy. They bloom and spread unearthly fragrance. I soak it up. Meanwhile, my body grows thinner. My soul is becoming free, and, having once been free already, it does not need words for communication at all. It hears only pleasant things. It penetrates and is penetrable. It is an expression of sonority itself. And this is what it is happy with. Its spiritual ringing arises everywhere across the universe. Meanwhile on earth, only you hear its sweet singing. And I do not need more than that, because I radiate my psalms for heaven, for its angels, and for you.

But if in an unkind minute my consciousness finds itself on earth, say nothing to me. Be silent; go away; be patient, because earth is not the place where I will stay for a long time.

Benefits of a Lie and Impudence

“Teacher,” I said, “I see that people commit moral crimes, and yet heaven does not punish them.”

“First of all, what is a moral crime?” the teacher asked.

“They say that objective values exist. Violation of these values is the crime. It is as if a man must pay for such transgressions with his fate, his health, the health of his children, and so on. Although often that does not happen.”

“Not everything is so simple,” the teacher said. “In society there coexist various groups of people with very different values. What is a moral crime to one group is not a crime to another group. The crime can even be a virtue.

“A problem arises if a person’s action is considered a crime in the group of people among which he is forced to exist. Then, in order to help him, his conscience proposes a lie and impudence.”

“I know that a lie is almighty. But impudence – ”

“In this case, impudence is very important,” the teacher said. “But certainly, a criminal needs to possess a quirky consciousness. Some of them are provided by heaven with such. So they prosper though they behave impudently.”

“But why does heaven do that?” I asked.

“Let us not fornicate by thoughts. First of all, a criminal with a quirky consciousness creates a myth for himself, according to which he did not commit any crime, but on the contrary, the crime was committed by his victim. The man memorizes his story. He repeatedly circulates it through his conscience, and he starts to believe it. Then, without reddened cheeks of shame, he tells the story to surrounding people. He even tells it in the temple and obtains “absolution of sins’!

“Besides, with the aid of his impudence, a criminal protects his consciousness from any remorse. As for the people in this criminal’s community, it is of no use for them to appeal to his conscience. When the man is fully accustomed to the myth he has created, believing himself absolutely right and noble and cruelly cheated by the person against whom he committed the moral crime, he creates a powerful psychological protection for himself. This protection enables him to live well, sometimes even leading an existence of full value.

“Think what would happen without lies and impudence. A criminal would perish, consumed by remorse. Things used to take place exactly this way. But now people say that the thing of highest value in the world is a human life.”

“Well, then, what changed?” I asked.

“Now there is no single morality; there are no approximately similar ethical attitudes, even inside of one country. Generally, a person can do almost everything. So under these conditions, a deceitful and impudent one survives and wins.”

“Well, what about you?”

“My fate is sad,” the teacher said. “I am overfed with communication from deceitful and impudent ones. But no one can say what echo lies and impudence would make on the fate of the confessor’s soul after the body’s death. After all, a man burrows into his myth so deeply that he is even confident of his well-being in the afterlife too. Meanwhile, what would the supreme being’s judgment be? How will it treat the lie and the impudence? We would not learn about it.”

“But how to live, then? Where is the anchorage? What can be a support?”

“Love heaven selflessly, and give awe and reverence to the Most High and its creations. Then you will be protected against lies and impudence, these new virtues, and you will always act in the correct way. However, forgive me; I said nothing to you.”

Embrace

Coming closer to Earth, I felt sympathy for it. Of course, there was something attractive in the color combinations of continents, oceans, and gases surrounding the planet. But most importantly, the noosphere seemed close to my soul. In a mysterious way, it attracted me. I took a deep breath, snapped my eyes shut, and hugged Earth.

Earth did not notice my embrace. This disappointed me. But I was not going to give up. Slowly and tenderly, I started kiss the planet with all my essence. Caressing the noosphere softly and fondly, I sensed Earth. I started uniting my breathing with its.

This turned out to be unpleasant and in fact more and more troublesome. With my spiritual vision, I looked into the planet’s conscience and found that it was significantly obscured. Compassion overtook me. My embrace became stronger and more tender and affectionate. Breathing became deeper. Straining in my desire to help, I tried to inhale the impurities of Earth in order return cleanness to it with my exhalations. I breathed this way and cried. Tears of my love spilled on the terrain. Especially on – nobody knows why – that part of it that is called by earthlings “América do Sul.” The name turned out to be too long for me. I breathed, wept, moistened Earth with love, and sang soundlessly, “Do Su-ul! Do Su-ul!”

Earth did not reply. Its heart did not let the spiritual lips of my heart come closer. It was not so because it was cold. The planet’s heart just did not accept my love!

When I realized this, I surrendered myself to despair. For a while, my affectionate embrace and purificatory breathing continued. Then, seeing the vanity of my efforts, I stepped back. As they say on Earth, love cannot be forced.

Of course, there is nothing peculiar about a one-way love as mine was for this planet. Clearly, there was no heavenly blessing on it. I thanked the Most High for the correction, for the love experience. Slowly, softly, I stepped back and started withdrawing. “Farewell forever, Earth, and forgive me! América do Sul, I love you!”

Earthly Games

For the one who seeks heaven, anything earthly is a fraud. Being on his way into other dimensions, he starts to find this fraud with every step. Finally, he realizes that all of the earth’s prophets and cult heroes are liars. Then he forgives them upon realizing the truth: they are prophets and cult heroes precisely for the earthly life. As for him, he, the one aiming for heaven, moves to the opposite side. A reasonable one aspiring for heaven does not enter into disputes with the earth. He pretends that he participates in its games, but he always keeps his fingers crossed in his pocket.

For one enjoying earthly things, heaven is foolishness or an earthly game. Nevertheless, there exist many believers in the earthly sky. For its sake they are inclined to violations, including assassination. A reasonable one aspiring for heaven would agree with the sincere believers in the earthly sky but take no part in their affairs. He understands the squalid nature of the earthly games. The most important thing is to be silent and to serve the sky of heaven in the invisible temple of his heart. This temple cannot be defiled. It is impossible to punish anyone for serving this invisible church.

—

Mutual Understanding?

An angel and a devil decided to make peace and start a friendly life together. They thought hard about how to understand each other. To this end, the angel started copulating promiscuously and drinking alcohol, while the devil devoted himself to prayer and pious meditations. However, the angel felt disgust and nausea, while the devil fell into a ghastly state of boredom.

“What a horrible life the devil leads!” the angel thought.

“What an idiot the angel is!” the devil thought.

To both of them, to the angel and the devil, their own lives seemed the only possible and right ones. They tried to convince each other with the aid of their fists. But they soon saw that this was useless. In spite of their wounds, each maintained his own position. Then they realized that for the angel, it was not worth trying to live in hell, nor was it worth the devil in trying to live in paradise. They concluded that it was impossible to understand things that are impossible to understand, that peace and mutual understanding between them were as impossible as between fire and water. And then, sadly, they drifted apart to their kingdoms, one to paradise and the other to hell.

God looked at them and smiled. He did not grant the mercy of nondistinction between good and evil to them. Why? The ways of God are inexplicable.