Kitabı oku: «Countess Kate», sayfa 11
Kate knew she ought to be very sorry, and greatly pity the bereaved father and mother; but, somehow, she could not help dwelling most upon the certainty that everyone would be much more hard upon her, and cast up this trouble to her, as if she had known of it, and run away on purpose to make it worse. It must have been this that they were talking about in Aunt Jane’s room, and this must have made them so slow to detect her flight.
In due time the train arrived, a cab was taken, and Kate, beginning to tremble with fright, sat by Mr. Wardour, and held his coat as if clinging to him as long as she could was a comfort. Sometimes she wished the cab would go faster, so that it might be over; sometimes—especially when the streets became only too well known to her—she wished that they would stretch out and out for ever, that she might still be sitting by Papa, holding his coat. It seemed as if that would be happiness enough for life!
Here was Bruton Street; here the door that on Saturday had shut behind her! It was only too soon open, and Kate kept her eyes on the ground, ashamed that even the butler should see her. She hung back, waiting till Mr. Wardour had paid the cabman; but there was no spinning it out, she had to walk upstairs, her only comfort being that her hand was in his.
No one was in the drawing-room; but before long Lady Barbara came in. Kate durst not look up at her, but was sure, from the tone of her voice, that she must have her very sternest face; and there was something to make one shiver in the rustle of her silk dress as she curtsied to Mr. Wardour.
“I have brought home my little niece,” he said, drawing Kate forward; “and I think I may truly say, that she is very sorry for what has passed.”
There was a pause; Kate knew the terrible black eyes were upon her, but she felt, besides, the longing to speak out the truth, and a sense that with Papa by her side she had courage to do so.
“I am sorry, Aunt Barbara,” she said; “I was very self-willed; I ought not to have fancied things, nor said you used me ill, and wanted me to tell stories.”
Kate’s heart was lighter; though it beat so terribly as she said those words. She knew that they pleased one of the two who were present, and she knew they were right.
“It is well you should be so far sensible of your misconduct,” said Lady Barbara; but her voice was as dry and hard as ever, and Mr. Wardour added, “She is sincerely sorry; it is from her voluntary confession that I know how much trouble she has given you; and I think, if you will kindly forgive her, that you will find her less self-willed in future.”
And he shoved Kate a little forward, squeezing her hand, and trying to withdraw his own. She perceived that he meant that she ought to ask pardon; and though it went against her more than her first speech had done, she contrived to say, “I do beg pardon, Aunt Barbara; I will try to do better.”
“My pardon is one thing, Katharine,” said Lady Barbara. “If your sorrow is real, of course I forgive you;” and she took Kate’s right-hand—the left was still holding by the fingers’ ends to Mr. Wardour. “But the consequences of such behaviour are another consideration. My personal pardon cannot, and ought not, to avert them—as I am sure you must perceive, Mr. Wardour,” she added, as the frightened child retreated upon him. Those consequences of Aunt Barbara’s were fearful things! Mr. Wardour said something, to which Kate scarcely attended in her alarm, and her aunt went on—
“For Lady Caergwent’s own sake, I shall endeavour to keep this most unfortunate step as much a secret as possible. I believe that scarcely anyone beyond this house is aware of it; and I hope that your family will perceive the necessity of being equally cautious.”
Mr. Wardour bowed, and assented.
“But,” added Lady Barbara, “it has made it quite impossible for my sister and myself to continue to take the charge of her. My sister’s health has suffered from the constant noise and restlessness of a child in the house: the anxiety and responsibility are far too much for her; and in addition to this, she had such severe nervous seizures from the alarm of my niece’s elopement, that nothing would induce me to subject her to a recurrence of such agitation. We must receive the child for the present, of course; but as soon as my brother returns, and can attend to business, the matter must be referred to the Lord Chancellor, and an establishment formed, with a lady at the head, who may have authority and experience to deal with such an ungovernable nature.”
“Perhaps,” said Mr. Wardour, “under these circumstances it might be convenient for me to take her home again for the present.”
Kate quivered with hope; but that was far too good to be true; Lady Barbara gave a horrid little cough, and there was a sound almost of offence in her “Thank you, you are very kind, but that would be quite out of the question. I am at present responsible for my niece.”
“I thought, perhaps,” said Mr. Wardour, as an excuse for the offer, “that as Lady Jane is so unwell, and Colonel Umfraville in so much affliction, it might be a relief to part with her at present.”
“Thank you,” again said Lady Barbara, as stiffly as if her throat were lined with whalebone; “no inconvenience can interfere with my duty.”
Mr. Wardour knew there was no use in saying any more, and inquired after Lady Jane. She had, it appeared, been very ill on Saturday evening, and had not since left her room. Mr. Wardour then said that Kate had not been aware, till a few hours ago, of the death of her cousin, and inquired anxiously after the father and mother; but Lady Barbara would not do more than answer direct questions, and only said that her nephew had been too much weakened to bear the journey, and had sunk suddenly at Alexandria, and that his father was, she feared, very unwell. She could not tell how soon he was likely to be in England. Then she thanked Mr. Wardour for having brought Lady Caergwent home, and offered him some luncheon; but in such a grave grand way, that it was plain that she did not want him to eat it, and, feeling that he could do no more good, he kissed poor Kate and wished Lady Barbara good-bye.
Poor Kate stood, drooping, too much constrained by dismay even to try to cling to him, or run after him to the foot of the stairs.
“Now, Katharine,” said her aunt, “come up with me to your Aunt Jane’s room. She has been so much distressed about you, that she will not be easy till she has seen you.”
Kate followed meekly; and found Aunt Jane sitting by the fire in her own room, looking flushed, hot, and trembling. She held out her arms, and Kate ran into them; but neither of them dared to speak, and Lady Barbara stood up, saying, “She says she is very sorry, and thus we may forgive her; as I know you do all the suffering you have undergone on her account.”
Lady Jane held the child tighter, and Kate returned her kisses with all her might; but the other aunt said, “That will do. She must not be too much for you again.” And they let go as if a cold wind had blown between them.
“Did Mr. Wardour bring her home?” asked Lady Jane.
“Yes; and was kind enough to propose taking her back again,” was the answer, with a sneer, that made Kate feel desperately angry, though she did not understand it.
In truth, Lady Barbara was greatly displeased with the Wardours. She had always been led to think her niece’s faults the effect of their management; and she now imagined that there had been some encouragement of the child’s discontent to make her run away; and that if they had been sufficiently shocked and concerned, the truant would have been brought home much sooner. It all came of her having allowed her niece to associate with those children at Bournemouth. She would be more careful for the future.
Careful, indeed, she was! She had come to think of her niece as a sort of small wild beast that must never be let out of sight of some trustworthy person, lest she should fly away again.
A daily governess, an elderly person, very grave and silent, came in directly after breakfast, walked with the Countess, and heard the lessons; and after her departure, Kate was always to be in the room with her aunts, and never was allowed to sit in the schoolroom and amuse herself alone; but her tea was brought into the dining-room while her aunts were at dinner, and morning, noon, and night, she knew that she was being watched.
It was very bitter to her. It seemed to take all the spirit away from her, as if she did not care for books, lessons, or anything else. Sometimes her heart burnt with hot indignation, and she would squeeze her hands together, or wring round her handkerchief in a sort of misery; but it never got beyond that; she never broke out, for she was depressed by what was still worse, the sense of shame. Lady Barbara had not said many words, but had made her feel, in spite of having forgiven her, that she had done a thing that would be a disgrace to her for ever; a thing that would make people think twice before they allowed their children to associate with her; and that put her below the level of other girls. The very pain that Lady Barbara took to hush it up, her fears lest it should come to the ears of the De la Poers, her hopes that it might not be necessary to reveal it to her brother, assisted to weigh down Kate with a sense of the heinousness of what she had done, and sunk her so that she had no inclination to complain of the watchfulness around her. And Aunt Jane’s sorrowful kindness went to her heart.
“How could you do it, my dear?” she said, in such a wonderful wistful tone, when Kate was alone with her.
Kate hung her head. She could not think now.
“It is so sad,” added Lady Jane; “I hoped we might have gone on so nicely together. And now I hope your Uncle Giles will not hear of it. He would be so shocked, and never trust you again.”
“You will trust me, when I have been good a long time, Aunt Jane?”
“My dear, I would trust you any time, you know; but then that’s no use. I can’t judge; and your Aunt Barbara says, after such lawlessness, you need very experienced training to root out old associations.”
Perhaps the aunts were more shocked than was quite needful and treated Kate as if she had been older and known better what she was doing; but they were sincere in their horror at her offence; and once she even heard Lady Barbara saying to Mr. Mercer that there seemed to be a doom on the family—in the loss of the promising young man—and—
The words were not spoken, but Kate knew that she was this greatest of all misfortunes to the family.
Poor child! In the midst of all this, there was one comfort. She had not put aside what Mr. Wardour had told her about the Comforter she could always have. She did say her prayers as she had never said them before, and she looked out in the Psalms and Lessons for comforting verses. She knew she had done very wrong, and she asked with all the strength of her heart to be forgiven, and made less unhappy, and that people might be kinder to her. Sometimes she thought no help was coming, and that her prayers did no good, but she went on; and then, perhaps, she got a kind little caress from Lady Jane, or Mr. Mercer spoke good-naturedly to her, or Lady Barbara granted her some little favour, and she felt as if there was hope and things were getting better; and she took courage all the more to pray that Uncle Giles might not be very hard upon her, nor the Lord Chancellor very cruel.
CHAPTER XIV
A fortnight had passed, and had seemed nearly as long as a year, since Kate’s return from Oldburgh, when one afternoon, when she was lazily turning over the leaves of a story-book that she knew so well by heart that she could go over it in the twilight, she began to gather from her aunt’s words that somebody was coming.
They never told her anything direct; but by listening a little more attentively to what they were saying, she found out that a letter—no, a telegram—had come while she was at her lessons; that Aunt Barbara had been taking rooms at a hotel; that she was insisting that Jane should not imagine they would come to-night—they would not come till the last train, and then neither of them would be equal—
“Poor dear Emily! But could we not just drive to the hotel and meet them? It will be so dreary for them.”
“You go out at night! and for such a meeting! when you ought to be keeping yourself as quiet as possible! No, depend upon it they will prefer getting in quietly, and resting to-night; and Giles, perhaps, will step in to breakfast in the morning.”
“And then you will bring him up to me at once! I wonder if the boy is much altered!”
Throb! throb! throb! went Kate’s heart! So the terrible stern uncle was in England, and this was the time for her to be given up to the Lord Chancellor and all his myrmidons (a word that always came into her head when she was in a fright). She had never loved Aunt Jane so well; she almost loved Aunt Barbara, and began to think of clinging to her with an eloquent speech, pleading to be spared from the Lord Chancellor!
To-morrow morning—that was a respite!
There was a sound of wheels. Lady Jane started.
“They are giving a party next door,” said Lady Barbara.
But the bell rang.
“Only a parcel coming home,” said Lady Barbara. “Pray do not be nervous, Jane.”
But the red colour was higher in Barbara’s own cheeks, as there were steps on the stairs; and in quite a triumphant voice the butler announced, as he opened the door, “Colonel and Mrs. Umfraville!”
Kate stood up, and backed. It was Aunt Barbara’s straight, handsome, terrible face, and with a great black moustache to make it worse. She saw that, and it was all she feared! She was glad the sofa was between them!
There was a lady besides all black bonnet and cloak; and there was a confusion of sounds, a little half sobbing of Aunt Jane’s; but the other sister and the brother were quite steady and grave. It was his keen dark eye, sparkling like some wild animal’s in the firelight, as Kate thought, which spied her out; and his deep grave voice said, “My little niece,” as he held out his hand.
“Come and speak to your uncle, Katharine,” said Lady Barbara; and not only had she to put her hand into that great firm one, but her forehead was scrubbed by his moustache. She had never been kissed by a moustache before, and she shuddered as if it had been on a panther’s lip.
But then he said, “There, Emily;” and she found herself folded up in such arms as had never been round her before, with the very sweetest of kisses on her cheeks, the very kindest of eyes, full of moisture, gazing at her as if they had been hungry for her. Even when the embrace was over, the hand still held hers; and as she stood by the new aunt, a thought crossed her that had never come before, “I wonder if my mamma was like this!”
There was some explanation of how the travellers had come on, &c., and it was settled that they were to stay to dinner; after which Mrs. Umfraville went away with Lady Barbara to take off her bonnet.
Colonel Umfraville came and sat down by his sister on the sofa, and said, “Well Jane, how have you been?”
“Oh! much as usual:” and then there was a silence, till she moved a little nearer to him, put her hand on his arm, looked up in his face with swimming eyes, and said, “O Giles! Giles!”
He took her hand, and bent over her, saying, in the same grave steady voice, “Do not grieve for us, Jane. We have a great deal to be thankful for, and we shall do very well.”
It made that loving tender-hearted Aunt Jane break quite down, cling to him and sob, “O Giles—those dear noble boys—how little we thought—and dear Caergwent too—and you away from home!”
She was crying quite violently, so as to be shaken by the sobs; and her brother stood over her, saying a kind word or two now and then, to try to soothe her; while Kate remained a little way off, with her black eyes wide open, thinking her uncle’s face was almost displeased—at any rate, very rigid. He looked up at Kate, and signed towards a scent-bottle on the table. Kate gave it; and then, as if the movement had filled her with a panic, she darted out of the room, and flew up to the bedrooms, crying out, “Aunt Barbara, Aunt Jane is crying so terribly!”
“She will have one of her attacks! Oh!” began Lady Barbara, catching up a bottle of salvolatile.
“Had we not better leave her and Giles to one another?” said the tones that Kate liked so much.
“Oh! my dear, you don’t know what these attacks are!” and away hurried Lady Barbara.
The bonnet was off now, leaving only a little plain net cap under it, round the calm gentle face. There was a great look of sadness, and the eyelids were heavy and drooping; but there was something that put Kate in mind of a mother dove in the softness of the large tender embrace, and the full sweet caressing tone. What a pity that such an aunt must know that she was an ill-behaved child, a misfortune to her lineage! She stood leaning against the door, very awkward and conscious. Mrs. Umfraville turned round, after smoothing her hair at the glass, smiled, and said, “I thought I should find you here, my little niece. You are Kate, I think.”
“I used to be, but my aunts here call me Katharine.”
“Is this your little room?” said Mrs. Umfraville, as they came out. The fact was, that she thought the sisters might be happier with their brother if she delayed a little; so she came into Kate’s room, and was beginning to look at her books, when Lady Barbara came hurrying up again.
“She is composed now, Emily. Oh! it is all right; I did not know where Katharine might be.”
Kate’s colour glowed. She could not bear that this sweet Aunt Emily should guess that she was a state prisoner, kept in constant view.
Lady Jane was quiet again, and nothing more that could overthrow her spirits passed all the evening; there was only a little murmur of talk, generally going on chiefly between Lady Barbara and Mrs. Umfraville, though occasionally the others put in a word. The Colonel sat most of the time with his set, serious face, and his eye fixed as if he was not attending, though sometimes Kate found the quick keen brilliance of his look bent full upon her, so as to terrify her by its suddenness, and make her hardly know what she was saying or doing.
The worst moments were at dinner. She was, in the first place, sure that those dark questioning eyes had decided that there must be some sad cause for her not being trusted to drink her tea elsewhere; and then, in the pause after the first course, the eyes came again, and he said, and to her, “I hope your good relations the Wardours are well.”
“Quite well—thank you,” faltered Kate.
“When did you see them last?”
“A—a fortnight ago—” began Kate.
“Mr. Wardour came up to London for a few hours,” said Lady Barbara, looking at Kate as if she meant to plunge her below the floor; at least, so the child imagined.
The sense that this was not the whole truth made her especially miserable; and all the rest of the evening was one misery of embarrassment, when her limbs did not seem to be her own, but as if somebody else was sitting at her little table, walking upstairs, and doing her work. Even Mrs. Umfraville’s kind ways could not restore her; she only hung her head and mumbled when she was asked to show her work, and did not so much as know what was to become of her piece of cross-stitch when it was finished.
There was some inquiry after the De la Poers; and Mrs. Umfraville asked if she had found some playfellows among their daughters.
“Yes,” faintly said Kate; and with another flush of colour, thought of having been told, that if Lady de la Poer knew what she had done, she would never be allowed to play with them again, and therefore that she never durst attempt it.
“They were very nice children,” said Mrs. Umfraville.
“Remarkably nice children,” returned Lady Barbara, in a tone that again cut Kate to the heart.
Bed-time came; and she would have been glad of it, but that all the time she was going to sleep there was the Lord Chancellor to think of, and the uncle and aunt with the statue faces dragging her before him.
Sunday was the next day, and the uncle and aunt were not seen till after the afternoon service, when they came to dinner, and much such an evening as the former one passed; but towards the end of it Mrs. Umfraville said, “Now, Barbara, I have a favour to ask. Will you let this child spend the day with me to-morrow? Giles will be out, and I shall be very glad to have her for my companion.”
Kate’s eyes glistened, and she thought of stern Proserpine.
“My dear Emily, you do not know what you ask. She will be far too much for you.”
“I’ll take care of that,” said Mrs. Umfraville, smiling.
“And I don’t know about trusting her. I cannot go out, and Jane cannot spare Bartley so early.”
“I will come and fetch her,” said the Colonel.
“And bring her back too. I will send the carriage in the evening, but do not let her come without you,” said Lady Barbara earnestly.
Had they told, or would they tell after she was gone to bed? Kate thought Aunt Barbara was a woman of her word, but did not quite trust her. Consent was given; but would not that stern soldier destroy all the pleasure? And people in sorrow too! Kate thought of Mrs. Lacy, and had no very bright anticipations of her day; yet a holiday was something, and to be out of Aunt Barbara’s way a great deal more.
She had not been long dressed when there was a ring at the bell, and, before she had begun to expect him, the tall man with the dark lip and grey hair stood in her schoolroom. She gave such a start, that he asked, “Did you not expect me so soon?”
“I did not think you would come till after breakfast: but—”
And with an impulse of running away from his dread presence, she darted off to put on her hat, but was arrested on the way by Lady Barbara, at her bedroom door.
“Uncle Giles is come for me,” she said, and would have rushed on, but her aunt detained her to say, “Recollect, Katharine, that wildness and impetuosity, at all times unbecoming, are particularly so where there is affliction. If consideration for others will not influence you, bear in mind that on the impression you make on your uncle and aunt, it depends whether I shall be obliged to tell all that I would willingly forget.”
Kate’s heart swelled, and without speaking she entered her own room, thinking how hard it was to have even the pleasure of hoping for ease and enjoyment taken away.
When she came down, she found her aunt—as she believed—warning her uncle against her being left to herself; and then came, “If she should be too much for Emily, only send a note, and Bartley or I will come to fetch her home.”
“She wants him to think me a little wild beast!” thought Kate; but her uncle answered, “Emily always knows how to deal with children. Good-bye.”
“To deal with children! What did that mean?” thought the Countess, as she stepped along by the side of her uncle, not venturing to speak, and feeling almost as shy and bewildered as when she was on the world alone.
He did not speak, but when they came to a crossing of a main street, he took her by the hand; and there was something protecting and comfortable in the feel, so that she did not let go; and presently, as she walked on, she felt the fingers close on hers with such a quick tight squeeze, that she looked up in a fright and met the dark eye turned on her quite soft and glistening. She did not guess how he was thinking of little clasping hands that had held there before; and he only said something rather hurriedly about avoiding some coals that were being taken in through a round hole in the pavement.
Soon they were at the hotel; and Mrs. Umfraville came out of her room with that greeting which Kate liked so much, helped her to take off her cloak and smooth her hair, and then set her down to breakfast.
It was a silent meal to Kate. Her uncle and aunt had letters to read, and things to consult about that she did not understand; but all the time there was a kind watch kept up that she had what she liked; and Aunt Emily’s voice was so much like the deep notes of the wood-pigeons round Oldburgh, that she did not care how long she listened to it, even if it had been talking Hindostanee!
As soon as breakfast was over, the Colonel took up his hat and went out; and Mrs. Umfraville said, turning to Kate, “Now, my dear, I have something for you to help me in; I want to unpack some things that I have brought home.”
“Oh, I shall like that!” said Kate, feeling as if a weight was gone with the grave uncle.
Mrs. Umfraville rang, and asked to have a certain box brought in. Such a box, all smelling of choice Indian wood; the very shavings that stuffed it were delightful! And what an unpacking! It was like nothing but the Indian stall at the Baker Street Bazaar! There were two beautiful large ivory work-boxes, inlaid with stripes and circles of tiny mosaic; and there were even more delicious little boxes of soft fragrant sandal wood, and a set of chessmen in ivory. The kings were riding on elephants, with canopies over their heads, and ladders to climb up by; and each elephant had a tiger in his trunk. Then the queens were not queens, but grand viziers, because the queen is nobody in the East: and each had a lesser elephant; the bishops were men riding on still smaller elephants; the castles had camels, the knights horses; and the pawns were little foot-soldiers, the white ones with guns, as being European troops, the red ones with bows and arrows. Kate was perfectly delighted with these men, and looked at and admired them one by one, longing to play a game with them. Then there was one of those wonderful clusters of Chinese ivory balls, all loose, one within the other, carved in different patterns of network, and there were shells spotted and pink-mouthed, card-cases, red shining boxes, queer Indian dolls; figures in all manner of costumes, in gorgeous colours, painted upon shining transparent talc or on soft rice-paper. There was no describing how charming the sight was, nor how Kate dwelt upon each article; and how pleasantly her aunt explained what it was intended for, and where it came from, answering all questions in the nicest, kindest way. When all the wool and shavings had been pinched, and the curled-up toes of the slippers explored, so as to make sure that no tiny shell nor ivory carving lurked unseen, the room looked like a museum; and Mrs. Umfraville said, “Most of these things were meant for our home friends: there is an Indian scarf and a Cashmere shawl for your two aunts, and I believe the chessmen are for Lord de la Poer.”
“O Aunt Emily, I should so like to play one game with them before they go!”
“I will have one with you, if you can be very careful of their tender points,” said Mrs. Umfraville, without one of the objections that Kate had expected; “but first I want you to help me about some of the other things. Your uncle meant one of the work-boxes for you!”
“O Aunt Emily, how delightful! I really will work, with such a dear beautiful box!” cried Kate, opening it, and again peeping into all its little holes and contrivances. “Here is the very place for a dormouse to sleep in! And who is the other for?”
“For Fanny de la Poer, who is his godchild.”
“Oh, I am so glad! Fanny always has such nice pretty work about!”
“And now I want you to help me to choose the other presents. There; these,” pointing to a scarf and a muslin dress adorned with the wings of diamond beetles, “are for some young cousins of my own; but you will be able best to choose what the other De la Poers and your cousins at Oldburgh would like best.”
“My cousins at Oldburgh!” cried Kate. “May they have some of these pretty things?” And as her aunt answered “We hope they will,” Kate flew at her, and hugged her quite tight round the throat; then, when Mrs. Umfraville undid the clasp, and returned the kiss, she went like an India-rubber ball with a backward bound, put her hands together over her head, and gasped out, “Oh, thank you, thank you!”
“My dear, don’t go quite mad. You will jump into that calabash, and then it won’t be fit for anybody. Are you so very glad?”
“Oh! so glad! Pretty things do come so seldom to Oldburgh!”
“Well, we thought you might like to send Miss Wardour this shawl.”
It was a beautiful heavy shawl of the soft wool of the Cashmere goats; really of every kind of brilliant hue, but so dexterously blended together, that the whole looked dark and sober. But Kate did not look with favour on the shawl.
“A shawl is so stupid,” she said. “If you please, I had rather Mary had the work-box.”
“But the work-box is for Lady Fanny.”
“Oh! but I meant my own,” said Kate earnestly. “If you only knew what a pity it is to give nice things to me; they always get into such a mess. Now, Mary always has her things so nice; and she works so beautifully; she has never let Lily wear a stitch but of her setting; and she always wished for a box like this. One of her friends at school had a little one; and she used to say, when we played at roe’s egg, that she wanted nothing but an ivory work-box; and she has nothing but an old blue one, with the steel turned black!”
“We must hear what your uncle says, for you must know that he meant the box for you.”
“It isn’t that I don’t care for it,” said Kate, with a sudden glistening in her eyes; “it is because I do care for it so very much that I want Mary to have it.”
“I know it is, my dear;” and her aunt kissed her; “but we must think about it a little. Perhaps Mary would not think an Indian shawl quite so stupid as you do.”
“Mary isn’t a nasty vain conceited girl!” cried Kate indignantly. “She always looks nice; but I heard Papa say her dress did not cost much more than Sylvia’s and mine, because she never tore anything, and took such care!”
“Well, we will see,” said Mrs. Umfraville, perhaps not entirely convinced that the shawl would not be a greater prize to the thrifty girl than Kate perceived.
