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No! No! And no again! Is it really useful?
– Many people want you to stay big, kind, and appeasable. You know, overweight people are considered friendly and soft.
They never say “no”. This is a great benefit for others. Have you learned to say “no”? Or you have always been able to do it?
– No, not always. Life has taught me. But it’s still hard sometimes.
Nikolay Ivanovich Kosenkov, member of Petrovskaya Academy of Sciences and Arts, Ph. D. of medical science
We cannot say “no” when it corresponds to our intentions. We cherish and demonstrate in every possible way our best quality – kindness.
This is the main mindset for many people: “A kindhearted person never says “no”. They say, fat person is a kind person, because he can’t resist delicious dishes and his desire for food.
But it’s not the worst thing. N. P. Bekhtereva, an academician of the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences, established that our brain has a special mechanism, so-called “Error Detector”. This mechanism continuously monitors thoughts of a person and compares them with actions: whether they correspond to his life attitudes and rules that were formed by his conscience during upbringing and education.
If such a comparison shows that a person repeatedly acts contrary to his conscience and principles, then the “Error Detector” forces a person to correct his behavior by using psychosomatic disorders as one of the mechanisms for influence on the person. We know that obesity is considered to be a psychosomatic disorder. This is often reflected in so-called compulsive actions and thoughts. These are the first obvious symptoms of psychological distress, manifested by inner anxiety, depression, fears, sleep disturbance, decreased concentration, and mental fatigue. At first, one psychosomatic disease occurs. If a person did not make any conclusions, another disease is added, then another one. If it does not help, a person does not want to correct his thoughts and actions, and the Error Detector starts up a self-destruction mechanism through very serious diseases or injuries.
The only salvation is to live in accordance with our moral instincts.
Live in harmony with ourselves, cherish positive thoughts, be kind, but do not demonstrate this quality everywhere and always, especially when you are not asked to be kind and to impose your goodness on a person..
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
– You are a lucky one. We’ll discuss this topic during our training for sure.
– I started to gain weight at the age of thirty-five. I’ve gained a lot of weight during the last four years. You know, hate myself sometimes.
– You shouldn’t. You know, I have an idea. Raise your hand if it is hard to say No for you… If you can’t say No… Be honest. One, two, three… Eight… Nine! Nine people! As you see, the problem is vitally important. Some people take advantage of you. They take your time, money, attention and energy. As a rule, overweight person gives everything to others again and again. Who is the one he cares the least?
– He himself.
– Yes! Exactly. Ok, we’ll work through this. You know, I’m really impressed to hear that you can say No. Great!
– Sometimes I can give a sharp refuse.
– I guess life taught you to act like that?
– Yes.
– Tayisia, what was the last straw for you?
– I’m so tired of all of this stuff! Anytime I meet a friend, I hear something like: “Oh, you are getting some weight!” And then they add:
“It doesn’t matter, you look great.”
– I bet friends notice every excess pound you gain? You gain another couple of pounds, meet your friend, and she tells you: “Oh dear me, you are getting so fat!” And she says it so joyfully that you would like to punch her, right?
– ☺
– If often happens to overweight people.
Joyful sympathy? Bingo, Elizaveta!
☺ Well, don’t worry, you will soon demonstrate your achievements to her. Let her sweat it out.
– I told my husband: “Stop gobbling up!” He looked at me and shot back: “If you are not hungry, don’t eat.”
– Is he overweight?
– No. My husband is tall. He’s got a big tummy, though. He has a job that requires hard physical labor, so…
– A woman from another group told me recently: “My husband proclaimed: “It’s not a tummy. It’s a bundle of nerves!”
– That’s exactly how my husband feels! ☺
– Do you overeat because of some stress?
– Yes.
We’ll talk about it. The problem must be settled. Snezhana?
– This year we went to the seaside. I didn’t want to go out because of my excess weight. If you want to visit some sightseeing, you have to climb into an off-roader. I just can’t do it! It’s too hard for me.
– Did it hurt your feelings?
– Of course! I’d like to go around.
– I ask these questions to make you think why excess weight disturbs you so much. I want you to realize how you feel about it physically and mentally. I bet it happened more than once.
– Yes. During that trip, one incident really disturbed me. My son is ten. He said that he wanted to have a roller coaster ride with me. But there was weight limit. I couldn’t ride with my son!
– I see. It’s really upsetting.
But I am glad that you are here. Many people feel sad, offended, and unhappy. But they go on living with excess weight and obesity and do not take any attempts to try any effective technique for weight loss.
Olga Vladimirovna Tsyganova, 28, economist, lost 110 lbs Just imagine what a great feeling it is when you meet acquaintances who you haven’t seen for a long time, and their jaws drop because they haven’t got accustomed to seeing you slim and beautiful! It is a strange feeling, funny and inspiring at the same time. It gives you desire to get even slimmer. Sympathy disappears while rivalry takes its place. Right, now you can compete with other women on equal terms! I often felt that my friends were scared. You used to be smart, but many people preferred beauties. Now you are smart and beautiful. You can outshine everyone with your charisma and appearance. You are not a drabbie anymore. But true friends are still with me. They love me even more by now, and I love myself too. It’s much easier for me to live now. I buy clothes in stores I always dreamed about, I run without any shortness of breath. I walk a lot, and – amazingly – my legs do not hurt anymore. I don’t have high blood pressure. It’s possible to get slim and maintain weight at the desired level. You live only once. It’s time to get out of your shell.
Hello Rolly Pollies!
– Victor, why does excess weight disturb you so much?
– Heart issues. And short of breath. I know how much I should weigh. I gained a lot of weight in the summer. My wife attended your seminar in winter. The results are awesome! I attended a gym, kept diet until summer. But then I went on a bender. You know, beer, fish, other summer delicacies. It’s hard to stop. Meanwhile, my wife eats often and stays slim!
Andrey Vasilyevich Trenogov, psychologist, psychiatrist: I’d like to say a few words about physical activity. To lose a pound of fat, a woman has to carry a 10-lbs load for seventy-five hours! As for men, they are lucky. They usually lose weight faster. In order to lose one pound of fat, a man needs to carry the same load for only fifty-five hours.
To burn the caloric value of a 3,5-oz bun, one has to jog for about forty minutes (which is, by the way, pretty dangerous for knee joints of an overweight person) or walk with a dog for four hours.
Why do so many people who start to attend the gym lose weight then?
It’s simple. When do people usually attend the gym? In the evening. When do they usually overeat? In the evening! Physical activity leads to the release of endorphins, the so-called hormones of happiness. People usually overeat when they feel upset, bored, lonely, and sad. As you see, physical activity has almost nothing to do with weight loss. Of course, there are those who train intensively (the process of fat burning starts up twenty minutes after the start of the cyclic dynamic loading). However, let’s be honest. There are just a few of them.
Do not think that I discourage you from using any physical activity in the course of weight loss. It is necessary not for weight loss, but to keep your muscles healthy.
Yet, there is another trap that almost everyone falls into. If I eat more, it’s enough to train longer. This works for a car. The more gas you pour into the tank, the longer you drive. If this works for a human, then as soon as the energy obtained with food came to an end, the person would immediately stop until someone re-fueled him. We spend energy that we have received long before this. To be precise, what you ate on Monday will be spent two days later, on Wednesday.
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
– How many pounds did you wife drop?
– At least thirty-three pounds. We have three children. But she is as slim now as she used to be many years ago.
– As you see, the training has been very productive!
– She commented on me. What a shame!
– ☺
– OK, got it. Mila, what about you? What was your last straw?
– I guess I was stressed when I found out that my weight is over 220 pounds. Another issue: I went on business trips and bought a new jacket every fall. I was at a size 18, but I bought clothing of 20 size. I prefer loose clothes. This year I found out that all my jackets are too tight for me. Size 20 is too small for me now. I was really terrified. Another scary moment: I noticed that when I met friends, I tried to pass by without greeting them. People are used to seeing me as a person I was before – a successful woman who’s capable of doing anything. I don’t want them to see me overweight like this.
– Quality of life deteriorates.
– And my self-esteem decreases.
– …which, in its turn, affects the quality of your life. OK. Nika?
– I began to gain weight after pregnancy. I feel bad. It’s getting harder to move. If I start rocking baby, I get short of breath.
– I see. Olesya?
– I buy 16 – 18 size clothing. Customers and colleagues hint that I am overweight. I heard a new customer said recently:
“Is this plump brunette your director?” Another customer uses to greet me like: “Hi Rolly Polly!”
– ☺
– Shame on him! I am trying to ignore it but being a director…
– It might be really frustrating. OK, I see.
Olga Vladimirovna Tsyganova, 28, economist, lost 110 lbs I am well aware of the problems with clothes. Once, I was at a size 24, even 26 sometimes. I know it sounds terrifying. How could I let myself gain so much excess weight? Every year I bought clothing of a bigger size. When I started to drop weight, almost my clothing ‘got slimmer’ together with me. I re-sew it because I knew that I didn’t want to stop, and buying new clothes every month would be costly and irrational. I am at a size 10—12 now. It’s fantastic, cause it’s so easy to find a nice trendy outfit for me almost in every store. It’s only the beginning. I’m still working for better results.
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
– Anzhelika?
– I don’t like myself anymore. It’s scary to look at myself in the mirror.
– What do you feel at that moment?
– Disgust. This is what I turned into…
– Is it frustrating?
– Yes. Excess weight affects my health well-being, especially when I am at work, even though my job is not related to any physical labor. Once my colleague and me walked from one office room to another one. She told me suddenly: “Anzhelika, you have a short of breath.” I felt embarrassed. It was like a slap in the face.
– Breathe. It’s normal that you are crying now. Here, take a napkin. I understand what you mean. During the training we will definitely work through all the feelings that you have accumulated. You haven’t let them go. They are still in your mind. Ksenya?
– Actually, it’s all the same. Eighteen months ago I was two sizes smaller. Then I gained five kilograms and couldn’t drop them for a year. I even gained more during Christmas holidays. In short, I frantically tried to figure out how to lose weight, rushed from one extreme technique to another. I haven’t tried any diet. Of course, I don’t eat in the evening. It helped me for a while. The last straw was when a shop assistant that was picking out clothes for me said: “I guess you wear a size 18”. I am concerned about these changes.
– What size did you wear before?
– I was at a size 12. In my opinion, I look a lot older and a bit vulgar now.
– We all feel spine-chilling after your words.
Where do you come from and where do you go?
Andrey Vasilyevich Trenogov, psychologist, psychiatrist: Before you start losing weight, you need to send a certain time clarifying a few uneasy issues.
In order to achieve the goal, you need to understand clearly where you come from and where you go.
To do this, you can do the following exercise: write down (no need to think it over, just write down everything that comes into your mind) all sides of your life affected by excess weight. How does it affect your physical and mental health, work, and relationships with relatives, friends, and other people?
How do you feel about it? Where are these feelings concentrated (in your head, chest, in the stomach, or in the whole body)?
Ask yourself: How do I see myself now? What image appears in your mind? It can be an abstract image, a metaphor, or something.
Then describe the environment where you want to get to. Move mentally to a moment of time when you have already achieved what you want and describe your new life in the present tense. Describe your health state, relations with friends, and relatives. Think about other positive changes weight loss brought into your life.
How do you feel while describing your new state? In what areas of your body the sensation is concentrated?
How do you see yourself in this situation? What image (symbol or metaphor) appears in your mind?
After completion of the exercise, you should have two images:
one for a “starting point” and another for a “destination point.” These images will affect you like a powerful magnet, pushing you away from the “starting point” and pulling towards the destination.
“Get slim at any cost!” she said and opened the fridge. How did you drop weight?
– I appreciate that you shared your feelings with me. One more question. What have you tried before to lose weight? We have to discuss the issue. So, let’s talk about it.
Gennadiy Arturovich Arustamov, 41, Ph. D. in Economics, a CEO of “Reka-More” company, dropped 90 lbs:
I’d start telling you the story about my transformation from the time when I weighed three hundred pounds. I’ve already met psychologist Artyom Andreevich Ovechkin, as once I attended his counseling session on issues unrelated to weight loss. I knew that he counseled people who suffer from obesity and stress, and decided to ask him for help. Well, that was over two years ago.
My excessive weight began a long time ago, after school. After graduating from college and starting to work full-time, I began to gain weight. In my youth, I was into sports. So, when I quit, the weight literally started going up. I have been trying to settle the problem of excess weight since I was twenty-four. I tried everything. Diets, fasting, that’s quite a story. I became pretty experienced in weight loss. Looking for different solutions, I tried different methods, specialized clinics – almost everything. Anyway, even if it had any effect, it was only temporary. Excess weight returned, even in a larger amount. In an effort to drop weight, I was doing sports actively and intensively. Perhaps, I put too much on my plate. Anyway, it didn’t lead to long-term results either. My physical condition was getting worse. I continued to gain weight. At the time, when I finally realized that I couldn’t handle it anymore, and Artyom and I started working on my problem, my weight was one three hundred pounds.
I felt really bad.
That was accompanied by a continuing crisis at work and constant emotional fatigue. As a result, at the age of forty, I was totally worn out; my nervous system was all gone. Then we started to work. And the changes began. Ironically, things occurred as follows: Instead of weight loss, we started working on stress, trying to determine and eliminate the primary cause, changing my attitude to stress, life, life perception, to myself and others. I read the recommended books. I listened to the bits of advice given by the authors. We worked hard. It is to my credit that I did my best. I was motivated to achieve significant results. At a certain point, weight loss wasn’t my main goal anymore. My mental state, inner harmony, and positive attitude became much more important to me.
It became my main goal, the primary motivation to move on and continue changing myself. Now, two years later, my weight is two hundred nine pounds. I’ve dropped ninety pounds. Yes, I also do sports. But now I do it properly, bearing in mind medical recommendations.
Speaking of success factors, I should admit that the first one is a mental condition, and the second one is a ration. As for sport, it’s on the third place. I guess, it is important to know about it if you are going to get slim.
Why did I set the priorities like this? That’s because I’ve tried everything! I had been trying to drop weight using sport, diets, fasting, both calculation and ignorance of caloric content, even the famous “K…” clinic, for ten years. I had been taken treatments in “K…” clinic for ten years. But, as I’ve already mentioned, my weight came up to three hundred pounds. I bet you wonder what methods are applied in the clinic. Ph. D. of medical science Kosenkov had nearly the same experience of fasting, and he described it in the book. So, you’ll read about it below. The main method of “K…” clinic is a kind of fasting too. Proper fasting, accompanied by different procedures. During the first four days of being there I ate nothing. I only drank a special broth. I drank rice water four-five times a day, and that’s all. No other food. On the fifth day, they started to bring me out of this state. I was given some juice. At the same they maintained my condition by doing lots of bowel cleansing procedures, so that I felt fine more or less. Then, for the rest of the time, I was carefully brought out of fasting. They slowly, very slowly increased my caloric intake and volume of food consumed. The food was pretty common but yummy. You start to feel the taste of the simplest products. You do not imagine how yummy the cucumber or tomato can be! It’s a taste explosion! Oh, wish you know how yummy common buckwheat porridge can be! I almost fell in love with it cause I suddenly found out how tasty it is. That’s true. Besides, there were supporting medical procedures such as massage, hydrotherapy, pelopathy, and so on. As a result, I dropped some weight.
Ten or fourteen days were enough to complete the treatment course. The most important results were as follows. First, it changed my eating behavior. Second, the stomach shrinks. As a consequence, it decreases the daily amount of food consumed. It usually lasts for two or three months. That’s all. During the next month, I dropped some weight because of the stomach shrinkage and decrease of daily food amount. Then you try to maintain weight, you feel well enough, you have energy. But, as I have told, the effect lasts for a few months only.
By and large, your life remains the same, and your mindsets, mental prism through which you look at life, remain the same too. You return to the same life that you’ve left. Now I understand that there is nothing surprising in the fact that you revert to old habits and responses. It’s impossible to change anything in your life without change of responses, habits, and life attitude.
I’d like to assess the experience of my interaction with the “D…” clinic, either. What did it give me? What are the main advantages? How long did the effect last? What prevented me from achieving long-term and significant results? Actually, it was also quite interesting. In my opinion, I get very important information about caloric content there. Now I realize that only one thing matters. It depends on how much energy you consume with food and on the amount of energy you spend then on physical activity and metabolism. There are no miracles, no magic techniques.
They explain it pretty clearly there. You try this method. They give you tools and explain how to calculate calories. They show you how it works. Then you get significant mindsets. The method includes basic psychological techniques aimed to make you feel disgusted with your favorite high-calorie foods. So, it helps to take away some of the addiction. You get a certain mindset that helps to realize: junky food is not that yummy as you thought before. There are breathing techniques that reduce appetite. That’s true, it works. They are aimed at suppressing appetite. There is a pretty interesting method to identify hunger.
It’s really helpful. As a result, I dropped twenty two pounds again. It’s nearly the same weight that I lost after the course at “K…” clinic.
Weight loss effect after “D…” clinic lasts a bit longer, about five months. That’s it. It brought some positive attitude for sure, and besides – some valuable information.
I’ve been thinking about my interaction with Artyom, our collaboration during the counseling, things we had done trying to understand why it led to such impressive and long-term changes: I dropped ninety pounds and maintain achieved weight. I will tell you about it in this book for sure.
Actually, I still keep my weight under control, ensuring that it continues to decrease. I drop pounds pretty slowly now. I still have a long way ahead of me. Nevertheless, I move on! I realize that I have already adopted some new eating habits and perceiving habits. Living this way is easier and more comfortable.
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
– We didn’t eat after 6 pm.
– I’ll write down everything. Gym. What else? Coding. I’ll write down all the methods, and then we will discuss them. Coding. Anything else? Fasting. What else? All kinds of diets and food rationing. Surgery? No? Great! So, you haven’t tried it yet. I believe there will be no need for surgery soon. What else? Pellets.
– Yes.
– Really? Pellets, slim teas, BAAs.
– Diuretics.
– Pellets, teas, herbs. As usual, they have a diuretic or purgative effect, or both sometimes, to give you a tiny bit of fun. “Getting slim at any cost!”
– ☺
– Acupuncture.
– Reflex therapy. They can use needles, pressing and cautery, and so on.
– Coding.
– Fasting. Once I attended a medical center. I hadn’t eaten for sixteen days.
– Yeah, I am serious. It was a sort of fasting marathon. Was it the “weight loss” clinic? I don’t remember. You shouldn’t eat 24 hours before the start. Then you go to the center, talk all night long there. In fact, I had to stay away from food for thirty days after it…
– I’d like to tell you a story now. There is a well-known “fasting counselor” in the city of… Three participants of his training died last year. One of them died on the eighteenth day of fast. But it doesn’t stop people from coming!
Remember, fast can be applied only in the clinic under the supervision of physicians! Besides, it is intended not for weight loss but in order to clean the body and improve the health state. During this period, the health condition of the patient should be continuously monitored. If you start fasting under the supervision of a scammer, it can turn out badly.
Nikolay Ivanovich Kosenkov, member of Petrovskaya Academy of Sciences and Arts, Ph. D. of medical science
I tried fasting twice. My weight decreased. But a year after, I gained twice the weight I had lost during fasting. Yes, I had an unusual experience at the time of getting out of fast. What a great taste diluted juice has! I had never tried such a yummy drink before. My taste and smell senses were heightened. At the time of fasting, I felt ease throughout my body. I was active and positive. But after fasting my weight went up as fast as ever! Fasting can be applied if you have medical evidence, but not for weight loss. It’s all up to you. Is that what you want?
Andrey Vasilyevich Trenogov, psychologist, psychiatrist:
Another interesting fact: Why does your weight go down during fasting? As it turned out, two-thirds of lost weight consist of fat, as for the rest – it’s muscles! Just think about it – muscles! Now, can you guess the “content” of the weight that returned after fasting? Right, we’ve got more fatty cells and no muscles. Your body becomes flabbier. You know, it’s pretty easy to gain a pound of fat. As for a pound of muscles, it will take a lot of time and effort.
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
– What else?
– Enemas!
– Oh my.
– Vomiting.
– Yes, there are some “weight-dropping” groups that gather at night. I am serious! I’d better not tell you the name. They gather at night, bring basins…
– ☺
– People are sitting and talking at the meeting, just like us. They are eating, with basins by their side. Before eating, they are given some water with a special emetic dissolved in it. Actually, people have no idea that there is emetic in their drink. “It’s a slimming cocktail!” People bring their favorite treats, delicious high-calorie food to the meetings. They eat, sitting in a circle with basins by their side. Then somebody starts vomiting. The others are carefully observing the process, and the same thing happens to them… Imagine what it would be if we were sitting here vomiting into basins. That would be impressive, right? It’s no surprise that people have a poor appetite after such meetings. They don’t overeat for a while.
– ☺
– Enemas. You know, there is an extremely popular lady. People come to her seminars in crowds. She easily gathers around two hundred people. They sit and listen for a few hours how great enemas are! What do you usually take with you when you go out of your house? Phone, keys. Have you forgotten your enema?! Oh no, all is lost!
– ☺
– You have to take enema in the morning and in the evening. But what happens if after six months of active “enema-taking” you suddenly stop doing it? How does your body respond?
– It probably fails to function normally without an enema.
– The intestines can’t work normally. You face stool retention since the microflora has been washed away.
Nikolay Ivanovich Kosenkov, member of Petrovskaya Academy of Sciences and Arts, Ph. D. of medical science
We tested the effect of colonic washing with nine liters of saline solution for twenty minutes in the hospital setting. After the procedure, the psychological state improved dramatically, a sensation of euphoria was brought, ease and lightness filled the body, energy level increased.
The result seems to be great. However, prior to the procedure, we measured the blood pressure of the patient, as well as the amount of adipose tissue, extracellular fluid (blood, lymph), intracellular fluid and so-called active (muscle) cell mass (in pounds and percentage) by using the method of complex bioelectrical impedance analysis.
What did the objective data indicate? Blood pressure rose from 130/80 to 180/120 mm Hg.
And the patient didn’t feel an increase in blood pressure! You can get a stroke after the procedure without even noticing it. And they call it health-improving procedure! The content of extracellular fluid drastically reduced, the blood became thick. It could lead to the formation of a blood clot in the vessel and death from a heart attack or stroke. What a great treatment procedure! So, think twice before trying it.
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
– Any other methods? What else people do for weight loss?
– Surgery for obese people! Liposuction, bariatric surgery. They cut away a part of your stomach.
– In fact, it’s not so simple. It doesn’t mean that a person will be fit and healthy two hours after liposuction or stomach stapling. After a while, he’s got a layer of fat again! Where? In the liposuction area?
– No.
– No. Where then, Eugenia?
– In other areas.
Olga Vladimirovna Tsyganova, 28, economist, lost 110 lbs I’ve never tried any diet. Yes, I am lazy. I always told myself: It wouldn’t help anyway. But at the same time, I constantly complained: “I am fat. Nobody loves me. Nobody needs me.” Finally, I understood: I have to do something! Now I am ready. Then this mindset training happened. And I trusted my mentor’s words for some reason. I was inspired. My friend supported me, and I took the first step of the journey to my dream.
