Kitabı oku: «Philochristus», sayfa 25
Now in the meantime, while we were waiting till the Feast of the Passover should come round, our hearts began to burn within us as if something great must surely come to pass, and the time must be at hand when we should go forth to preach Jesus to the world. For words may not describe with how great a joy we lived during those days one with another, and what a passion of love knit our hearts together; and it seemed a sin that so much joy and happiness should not be imparted to others besides ourselves only. For at this time we, the disciples of Jesus, were as it were in Paradise, and joy went ever with us. For if we sailed upon the lake in our fishing-boats, Jesus was there; or if we remained in Capernaum, working in the gardens, or on the quay, or about the booths, or went out into the fields, Jesus was there; and when we met together in the evenings to break bread in memory of him, or in the early dawn on the first day of the week, to renew the remembrance of his rising again, then verily Jesus was not only there, but also often visibly there; insomuch that while we touched his body with our hands, and while we drank of the blood from his side, we were able at the same time to feast our eyes upon the brightness of his countenance. Yet with all our joy we were not yet moved to go forth to preach the Good News. For it seemed sufficient for that present time that we should take delight in the presence of Jesus, and suck in strength from often beholding him visibly present among us.
Howbeit, though we were still as children clinging to the mother, and not yet able to walk alone, notwithstanding day by day we were learning some new thing concerning the will of the Lord: and the teaching of Jesus, which had in times past been hid from us, began now to appear more clear, and our eyes were being opened also to understand the Law and the prophets; and we all now understood that it had been the will of God from the first that Jesus should die upon the cross and give his life as a ransom for many. Moreover, we began to perceive that a time might be at hand when the Lord Jesus would depart from us, and seem to leave us alone upon the earth to preach the Kingdom of God: and we no longer feared to be alone, for we knew now that the Lord Jesus could never really leave us.
So we came up to Jerusalem. And it came to pass on the day of the Feast of the Passover, Jesus once more revealed himself visibly to us; and by the mouth of Peter he spake concerning that which was to come, and said that he must now be lifted up from among us: howbeit his Spirit should abide with us, and thence we should receive the power of forgiving sins. Some also said that they saw Jesus open his lips like unto one breathing forth breath upon another; as if he then breathed upon us the spirit of forgiveness: but this I saw not, nor anything that Jesus did, save that he blessed and brake bread, after his wont.
Now after the Passover we waited patiently at Jerusalem for nigh forty days; and all that time Jesus revealed himself not to any one of us, neither by sight nor by voice: and we questioned much among ourselves whether we ought to delay longer, for our hearts were desirous to preach Jesus. But when the feast of Pentecost was now at hand the word of the Lord Jesus came to us, saying that we should go forth to Mount Olivet, even to Bethany. And we went forth even as the Lord led us: yet he spake no word more to us; and it was now the tenth hour of the day. And after that we had walked for some while this way and that way upon the uplands of that mountain (even where our Master had walked in times past), and when we had spoken much together concerning all that he had said and done in these same places, behold, we came unto a hollow cleft in the mountain, whither no path led, nor was any habitation of men nigh unto it. Now by this time it wanted but a little of sunset: yet were we loth to go back to Jerusalem till we should have understood what the will of the Lord might be. So Peter said, “Sit we down here, and let us pray that the Lord may reveal his will unto us.”
So we sat down and prayed; but we saw nothing, neither did the Lord speak by the voice of any of us. So we waited yet longer; but nothing came, vision nor voice nor sign; and by this time the sun had set. Notwithstanding it was not yet dark, for there was a wondrous brightness in the west, and behold, all the clouds and air above us were filled with a glorious appearance as of amber, and sapphire, and gold, and flames of fire. Then Peter stood up and stretched out his hands unto the Lord Jesus, and looked up to the heaven and said, “Thou, O Lord, didst promise that wheresoever two or three were gathered together in thy name, there wouldst thou be in the midst of them. Therefore, O Lord, be present now, we entreat thee.” Now before the words had well passed from his lips, he ceased on a sudden, and his eyes were fixed, and his hand pointed to the sky, and John also cried out, saying, “He goeth up: lo, I see the Lord Jesus going up to heaven.” Then I looked where John pointed, and lo, I also saw the Lord. But his face was no longer pale as before, nor were the prints of nails any more to be seen in his hands and feet, neither could I now discern his features so clearly as was usual: for his whole form seemed robed in a vesture of glory, and a crown of light about his head, and he sat upon a throne of sapphire. For the space of a minute or more we all gazed fixed in wonder; but then the throne rose slowly upwards, and with it rose likewise the angels, like unto flames of fire, round the sapphire throne; and so the glory grew fainter and more distant, and at the last a cloud or a darkness passed over it, and received it out of our sight.
But when the glory had now quite departed, we remained a long while steadfastly looking up to heaven, yea, even to the darkness of heaven, if perchance the glory might yet return to us. For we knew that we were now bidding farewell to the Lord Jesus for ever. But at the last Peter spake to us and said, “Be not sad, brethren, because Jesus is gone from us: for I heard the word of the Lord coming unto me, even from the angels about the throne of Jesus, and the message of the Lord unto us is this, ‘Why stand ye gating up unto heaven? This same Jesus which is taken up from you into heaven shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven.’ ”
Then we returned thanks to God, praising and magnifying Him whose mercy endureth for ever; and we returned to Jerusalem rejoicing and singing songs of praise. But in the evening, when we sat together at meat, Simon Peter said that it behoved us, while we returned thanks to God for the gift of the Law (for it is a custom of our nation to do this on the evening before the morning of Pentecost), to return thanks yet more for the gift of the grace of Jesus; and he also besought the Lord to give us his grace even more abundantly, that the law of Jesus might be written on our hearts. So we sat late into that night conversing together and praying and singing praises unto God.
On the morrow we rose up very early and assembled ourselves together again to pray: and there were with us many disciples of several nations, devout men; not Galileans only, but also Alexandrines, and men of Cyrene, and some of Mesopotamia and Cappadocia, who all believed in Jesus. When we were now all assembled together and the door had been made fast, then Peter stood up, and thanked the Lord for that He had given to us His Holy One, Jesus of Nazareth, whom He had now taken to Himself; and he besought the Lord that, as He had taken up Jesus to heaven after the manner of Elias, so, after the same manner, He would send down some portion of His power upon us (even as Elias had sent down power upon his disciples) to the intent that all the people might know that the Lord had sent us to preach His word to Israel.
Then did the Lord hear us and answer us from heaven, even as He answered Elias by fire in the former days. For behold the Spirit from above fell upon us, and there was a sound as of many voices, even as the roar of many waters; and as the Lord touched the mouth of the prophet Esaias with fire, even so did He give unto us the Spirit of fire upon us, according to the saying of John the son of Zachariah, so that our hearts were all a-glow, and our faces kindling; and we prophesied as the Spirit gave us utterance, according to the saying of the prophet Jeremiah, “Behold I will make my words in thy mouth as fire.” But herein was a great marvel; for we sang no psalms, nor did we speak in Scriptures, nor even in any articulate words; but we uttered strange sounds, whereof we felt the sense, but knew not of what language they were; for our tongues moved as the Spirit bade us. But behold, certain of the disciples that had not been moved by the Spirit to speak in tongues, were moved by the same Spirit to understand the meaning of our words; and one came up to me and said, “Thou speakest the language of Mesopotamia, even as I heard it in my childhood; and I verily understand thee, for thou speakest the very thoughts of my heart, thanking God for that He hath chosen us forth to be the servants of His son and to proclaim His Gospel to all the world.” Then came another, a man of Cyrene, and he said the like, namely, that I spake in his own language, which was not the language of Mesopotamia, but the Punic tongue. Now while we all marvelled hereat, and knew not what to think, Peter stood up and said that the purpose of the Lord was that, in the times to come, all men upon the face of the earth should be of one language and of one family. “And to this end,” said he, “God hath this day sent unto you this sign and token. For this day is fulfilled among you the saying of the prophets: And it shall come to pass that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh. For the time is at hand when all men shall know the Lord from the least to the greatest. For men shall no longer be taught of priests saying, Know the Lord; nor shall the knowledge of Him be given only to the rich and to them that have leisure; but upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will the Lord pour out His Spirit.”
Then did we all rejoice with an exceeding joy, and we went forth openly into the temple for to magnify the Lord therein. And as I went, my heart leaping up and dancing within me for the fervour of my gladness, there came into my mind how, about three years ago, Philo the Alexandrine had spoken to me of a certain enthousiasmos that should fall upon the righteous: but his enthousiasmos was I knew not what, a passion for “mere existence,” or for “that which is”; and I could not attain to apprehend so much as the meaning of it. But now I had indeed attained to the true enthousiasmos, which uplifteth and ennobleth and comforteth the soul, and stirreth to action, and purifieth the thought, and pervadeth every corner of the life of man, and includeth all things create and uncreate; so that my heart went out in love to all the creatures of God, and to all men without distinction, Gentiles as well as Jews, tax-gatherers as well as Scribes; yea, even to the Romans did my heart now go forth in love.
But when we were come together to the temple, the Pharisees and the chief priests and all the people marvelled at our boldness. For we were as changed men in their sight; because we no longer feared them as of old; neither, on the other hand, did we hate them, nor desire to revenge ourselves on them for that they had slain Jesus. But we pitied them; yea, we felt an exceeding compassion and love for them, as for them that wandered in darkness, while we sat in a great light. Therefore were we exceeding bold; and as for fear, we had forgotten what it meant: but we desired to pour out the good news of Christ before all men. For our hearts could not contain themselves for the abundance of joy and gladness and peace which the Lord had vouchsafed to us. So the people gathered themselves together around us. But when the Holy Spirit fell upon us, some men mocked, and called us drunkards; but the more part gave heed when Peter spake to them.
So Simon Peter spake in the ears of all the people, and said to them, even as he had said to us, that this out-pouring was for a sign to men, because the Lord was to pour out His Spirit upon the face of the earth. Moreover he added that Jesus was indeed the Christ, and that the Lord had raised him from the dead (whereof we were witnesses), to the intent that he should come again to judge the world in power; for he should assuredly prevail, and cast down all his enemies beneath his feet. When the people heard these words, they believed in Jesus; for a power went forth from the mouth of Peter and from the mouths of the other disciples, so that their words pierced into the very souls of such as should be saved. And we purified them (for we also baptized, even as John the son of Zachariah had baptized his disciples) and baptized them in the brook of Kidron. Then was fulfilled the word of Jesus of Nazareth, which he spake unto the apostles, saying that he would make them “fishers of men;” for on that day the net of the Gospel was indeed cast, and great was the draught of the fishes, so that there were added unto the Lord three thousand of them that believed.
CHAPTER XXXII
Here must this history have an end. But I marvel how smoothly and easily the relation seemeth to have ascended from Jesus on earth to Jesus in heaven, as if by some ladder of easy ascent, and as though there were not seven heavens between. And perchance men would marvel the more, if I had been able to set down exactly the image of Jesus as he appeared to me at the first in my mother’s house at Sepphoris, or when he sat with us in the fishing-boat on the lake; so that the image of Jesus as he seemed then, might be compared with the image of Jesus as he seemeth now. But I know that I have not been able to do this. For my pen hath still outrun the story: and in adventuring to describe Jesus as he appeared to me on earth, I have often failed of my intent, and have described him, not as he appeared to me on earth, but as he was hereafter to appear to me from heaven.
Oftentimes, musing on the difference between Jesus, as he was in deed and in truth, and Jesus, as we in Galilee supposed him to be, I have questioned myself and said, “Whence this waste of the life of the Lord Jesus? For if it be good for us to know him, and if the knowledge of him be eternal life, as we believe; then how much better had it been that we should have known him while he was alive, and not to have tarried for the knowledge till death had taken him from us?”
Now, looking back, I seem to discern a reason for our ignorance, or, at the least, a certain wholesome fruit springing therefrom. For methinks, had we known the Lord Jesus as he was, and all his greatness and glory, and all that was to betide him, and his resurrection, and his ascension, even then when he sat with us at meat, and went in and out with us throughout the villages of Galilee; I say, had we known even then that Jesus was to be raised from the dead, and to sit at the right hand of God, methinks we could not have loved him so dearly, nor have spoken with him so familiarly, nor have questioned him so freely, revealing unto him all our infirmities, and trusting him as a friend, yea, loving him as a very son of man, even one of ourselves.
But the Lord so ordained it that we should come to Jesus as to a great and good man, becoming infected with his spirit and imbued with the love of him as of a mortal being; and then, when he had caught our hearts as it were by guile, so that he had made himself now needful unto us even as the very breath of our lives, then began he to say unto us, “Whom say ye that I, the Son of man, am?” And lo, trying our hearts, we began to perceive that this same Son of man, who had so given life to our souls, could be none other than the very Son of the Living God.
Hence it came to pass that, when he departed from us, and when we felt a void in our hearts, and when we questioned ourselves what it was that we had lost, and what it was that we most loved and trusted and revered, yea also, and what it was that we most worshipped as divine; then behold, searching our hearts, we found that there was nothing in heaven above nor in the earth beneath, nor in the waters under the earth, no, nor in the host above the heavens, that could compare with Jesus of Nazareth. And so it was that, when we worshipped him as the Son, it seemed not unto us as if we were honouring him by calling him God; but (if I may speak as a child) it seemed rather as though we were striving to honour God by saying that God was one with Jesus. For saying this, seemed all one with saying that God was Love.
Therefore if any put this question unto me, “Why believest thou not that Romulus is God, and Liber, and Amphiaraus, and Elias, and Enoch (who all are said to have escaped death), and yet thou believest that Jesus of Nazareth is God?”: my answer is this, that I believe Jesus to be God, first, because God is Love, and Jesus is Love; secondly, because God is Might and Jesus is Might; and lastly, because, if Jesus was not indeed divine, then must he needs have been a poor deluded creature, unfit and unable to do any great work for the children of men. For certainly, albeit he was the most humble and lowly of men, yet did he ever speak of himself, not as one of many redeemers, but as the redeemer of men, the refuge of the wretched, the forgiver of sins, the source of life and truth.
“But,” say some, “Jesus was of a surety not Might; for he came not as a conqueror, but as one conquered.” Now, methinks, concerning them that say such things, it was well said by Xanthias that “they are like unto the foolish giant Polyphemus, who could not think that Ulysses could be Ulysses indeed, for that he was not a giant like unto himself. In the same way certain persons of gross understanding” (even of such an understanding as I myself had, before that I had been enlightened by the spirit of Christ) “suppose that Jesus could not have been the Messiah, for that he did not come into the world as they themselves would have come, nor do the works which they themselves would have done, had they been Messiahs. For they would have come into the world, forsooth, riding on the clouds, or borne on chariots of fire, or working signs in heaven or portents upon earth. Now this is even such a Messiah as Polyphemus would have devised for himself. But it was surely a much more divine thing that the Word of God should come into the world as a poor man, and the child of the poor (as if to shew that no estate of man is too low to be sanctified by the Divine Word); and that he should subdue all men unto himself, not by force nor portents, but by love, patience, and suffering; submitting himself patiently to all the laws of the world, yea even to the law of death, and yet triumphing over them all through the force of righteousness.”
Thus spake Xanthias, and I assent unto his words. But furthermore, if I believed Jesus to be the Son of God when mine eyes were opened to discern him after his resurrection, much more do I believe it now; because all the years as they pass by, yea, and all the seventy nations of the earth, are as so many angels of God, which do cry aloud with a clear voice and say, “Jesus of Nazareth is our King; Jesus of Nazareth, though he be in heaven, is ruling on earth.” For whithersoever I look throughout the Empire, I behold the love of Christ beginning already to rule over the tribes of the earth, though as yet it be in small beginnings. In Britain, where I now write, in Gaul, in Spain, in Italy, in Greece, in all the parts of Asia Minor, in Carthage and Egypt, yea even unto Babylon and the parts far beyond the River, the Lord Jesus now hath his worshippers.
Too long were it now to recount what I beheld in Alexandria and in Rome concerning the power of Christ and how the churches in those cities increased and are still increasing. But thus much have I noted concerning the law of Christ, that it differeth from all other laws, in that it is fitted for all nations and climates and times. It is as useful for the poor as for the rich. It loveth order and concord, and hateth disorder and tumult. It loveth truth, righteousness, and happiness; it hateth deceits and unrighteousness and misery. It doth not say unto all nations, “Take unto yourselves the customs of the Greeks,” nor yet “Take unto yourselves the laws of the Romans,” neither doth it prescribe any pattern of government as the best: but what saith it? It saith, “Love God and thy neighbour; and I, even I, will give thee strength to love them.” For our law is none other than the Lord Jesus himself, dwelling with us again, and abiding in our hearts for ever, through faith.
Therefore is the law of Jesus in the end to prevail over other laws. For other laws are laws of fear, and they rule by constraint and hinder growth; but the law of Jesus is a law of love, and ruleth through freedom, causing all good things to grow, and making the heart to leap up with joy. Other laws need addition of rewards and punishments; but the law of Jesus assigneth fit reward, and executeth needful punishment, of itself, without help of king or lawgiver. The laws of other lawgivers will pass away with the passing of those needs for which the laws were made: but the law of love will abide for ever, for the need thereof passeth not away. And when that law shall be established, then, and not till then, shall wars cease from the earth, and all nations shall be as one: for as Moses gave Israel a law to knit the ten tribes into one nation, even so hath the Lord Jesus given us a law to knit the seventy nations of the earth into one family of God.
In this hope I rejoice, even in the midst of tribulations, for I trust that Jesus of Nazareth reigneth. Therefore shall my heart not fail, albeit the signs and mighty works of the Church seem now to be passing away, and devils be not now cast out as of old; nor are the sick so often healed; and the saints speak less oft with tongues. For if the signs of righteousness and mercy and truth abide in the Church, those other signs may perchance be suffered to pass away. But that which sometimes troubleth me more, is that, as I hear in some of the churches, the saints are overmuch given to the governing of the congregations, and the arranging of the worship of the saints, and the observing of feasts and fasts, more than to the waging of the war against unrighteousness. For though it be well to follow after peace, yet can I not forget that the Lord Jesus studied not to lead a quiet life, but spake unto us saying that he must needs send a sword on earth. And who knoweth not how he stood up with the sword of his mouth against the Pharisees in the Temple of the Lord? The like of which contests and protestations against evil we hear not so oft, methinks, as in old times: howbeit, perchance even herein the Holy Spirit guideth us. But be this as it may, I still trust in the Lord Jesus; yea, even though there be (as I hear there be) divisions in certain of the churches, yet trust I in him. For I perceive that the Lord’s ways are not as our ways; but the last are made first; and the weak become strong; and the foolish are exalted above the wise. Therefore, even as from the fall of Sion there seemeth to have come uprising to the Gentiles, even so perhaps out of the divisions of the churches may arise truth for all the world.
But as concerning the hour of the coming of the Lord, I deny not that he tarrieth long, even past all expectation. But inasmuch as the Lord Jesus himself said that he knew not that hour, for this cause I judge that no man shall know it. Only this is revealed unto me, that when the Lord shall come, it shall not be after such manner as we expect and shape forth in our minds, but the manner thereof shall be unexpected and new: better, I doubt not, than ever we hope or imagine, yet none the less, strange; yea, and perchance, at the first, full of disappointment. For I perceive that all the dealings of the Lord with men are after this fashion. He ever prepareth some good thing for us, exceeding all that we had expected; notwithstanding, with the good, there cometh also some wholesome pain or temptation that we expect not. For thus the Lord dealt with Adam in Paradise, and thus with Israel in the Promised Land; and thus also dealt the Lord Jesus with his disciples on earth. Wherefore thus also, I doubt not, the Lord Jesus will deal still with his disciples now that he reigneth in heaven.
But why speak I in conjectures concerning these unknown matters, or why yearn I thus impatiently for the hour of the Lord’s coming, seeing that the Lord vouchsafeth to me, even on earth, his perpetual presence in mine heart, and the signs of his presence compass me everywhere around, so that even to live is joy? For verily to thee, O Lord, and to thy Kingdom, all things in heaven and earth do bear witness.
The faces of all children, whom thou didst call thy little ones, give back the brightness of thy countenance; the goodness of all good men testifieth unto thee, the supreme pattern of all good; yea even the bad and the weak proclaim their need of thee, O Lord our Redeemer, in whom alone is power to create goodness in the worst, and to make the weakest strong. To thy word the seed-time and harvests bear witness; the flowers also do sing of thy trustfulness and hope. If I look unto the earth, thou hast trodden and sanctified it; if to the heaven, thou hast gone up into it and dost possess it; if I think of the terrors of the depths beneath the earth, behold, thou knowest them, and hast passed through them, and overcome them, and hast broken the bars thereof; that they may no more keep captive them that shall follow in thy footsteps, passing through the darkness of the grave. Thus hast thou, O Eternal Word (by whom in ages past the worlds were created) now in these last times created the universe anew for them that love thee; so that all things do serve thee and proclaim thy Good Tidings, and the world is become unto thee as a vesture, and the elements are become thy servants: yea death itself thou hast subdued to be thy minister, and sin thou shalt subdue to be thy bond-slave.
Who is like unto thee, O most mighty Lord, for verily thy truth is on every side. Whither shall I go from thy Spirit, or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I climb up into heaven, thou art there. If I go down unto the dead, thou art there also. If I take the wings of the morning and remain in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there also shall thy hand lead me and thy right hand shall hold me. Therefore when I sleep in the grave, I am in thy cradle; and when I shall arise up and awake, behold around me are thy everlasting arms.
