Kitabı oku: «Star Wanderer writes. The collection «A Quiet Whisper on My Lips». Contemporary Prose and Fiction», sayfa 2
I LOVE YOU
I love you, my light, I love you for your kind smile in return. I love you for your attention when I am in despair, my tears are streaming. We’ll stay in each other’s memory and we’ll be faithful everywhere. Let sorrow and grief rain down and flash in our hearts, friendship forever. The past is gone, so be it. Only excitement is the way left, there’s no reason for mistrust. I will love the future. I kiss you, you’re my beloved. When I think of the past, I will shed a hot tear.
AWAY LIKE A BIRD
She broke free. The same one who, even in the cold, said: “I will live more quietly, calibrating each step,” unconsciously, she soared into the distance like a bird. Freezing with every breath, like a sparrow’s heart. For her there is no familiar road, only a path. On which her dreams and sorrows follow, leaving years of life behind. Ah! Why seek peace in what only seems. She only has to meet the one she thinks of all the time. And he will be her soul mate. “I will live more quietly…”
GOOD DEEDS ARE SO GOOD
Good deeds are so good, and sweet moments are always nice. And I don’t want to think of life as a shortcut. Consciousness lives as long as the soul lives. I suddenly wanted to remember, stories from the past, sometimes it is better and right to forget so as not to disturb myself. But I decided to tell everything to my daughter and my son first. Because I try very hard to be honest and fair. There is another world, there is another love. There is a free choice of the will of every human being. He who practices white magic is always aware of black magic. He makes his own choice. There is no good or bad, only your choice. This philosophy is so beloved by one of the followers of the supernatural to understand our world. And quite common in a world parallel to our own. And believe me, he is not alone and there are enough sleepers like us. People are striving for light and good. Man chooses his own place. Free will, similar to similar, equal exchange of energies, everything comes from something and flows into something. Love is the one and first energy of the cosmos from which there are offshoots due to free will choices. But in the end absolutely all souls move back to the source of Light from which they originated. Happiness is available to everyone, program yourself for joy. The materiality of the world is only an illusion from the chaos of the matrix energy, which also feeds on the energy of human consciousness. And emitted codes – ciphers from the outside are processed by a human being and recreate this very dependency, in conjunction with the lower entities from the subtle dimension of the Earth. The most important feeling we earthlings must have is the feeling of losing the importance of material things in life. It is also the feeling of losing the measure of one’s status in society according to these material things. This loss should not cause you fear or panic. If you are calm, then you understand that you are at the highest, decent level of consciousness. At this level you have nobility of spirit, justice, compassion, respect, love, honesty, humanity. And nature is all around you, much more important and right. All this should be remembered and taken as an experience. This experience will elevate you, it will be the most valuable and significant quality of your soul and body. “Peace of mind, the main value that will never appear without a noble life, no matter what edge of the universe you are on. Love to all, friends! Don’t question what brings you joy and peace of mind. It’s so easy when you’re not afraid of other people’s opinions. Just think about it.” Nature reminds us of the eternal values of truth.
PART II – TORN LEAVES
A light breeze tore the leaves from the tree. And below, a stream gurgled merrily. The stream beckoned the traveler to drink clean water. Leaf after leaf flew away: “How beautiful, and I don’t have to invent paradise. Only the songs of the nightingale, for some reason not enough? I sit on the bank and I will remember that girl. With sad eyes like an angel in delirium. In years gone by, everything seems like a fairy tale. And my heart still aches as it did before. A stream gurgled merrily…
– Darling, do you remember how we used to love to walk with you on the shore of the purple sea? Everything was strewn with scarlet shells. Aliana, you danced and were the most beautiful in the whole universe! And what flowers we had! You loved roses that sang of love. I picked them for you with such joy and delight! And your smile made me happy! Aliana, my joy, I want to disobey you. I can’t let you be so lonely. But why you? Though I always suspected that you were special. Where is our sweet home? And then you will be yourself,” he kissed her sleepy eyes, very sweet and beautiful.
THE RAVEN COMES WITH HOPE
Some sing about the crow, some compose poetry, and some just wait for him. Like a kind of temptation that is so easy to succumb to. It’s only a matter of time. Ah, where to go! I don’t like the tightness of my present dress! I want to try on another one as soon as possible. It is like a dream that goes away. And only the raven comes with hope when there is no turning back…
HUGGED HIS BELOVED
– Darling, how do you feel, are you comfortable?
– I am always comfortable in your arms. Hold me tight. Yesterday, when I was walking, I felt uncomfortable, as if all the skies had collapsed. I felt the presence of other people’s thoughts, but they were so suddenly native to me that I was literally lost in time.
– Don’t be sad, I’m glad you’re healthy and here with me. All bad thoughts away. Forgive me for not being there for you. Everything will be fine. The young man embraced the girl, reassuring her, himself not believing the reality he had so dreamed of. Kind, sweet, snuggling so lovingly against him. He was afraid to disturb, to break this peace, where the warmth of a native heart and the mystery that the sea had always kept for them in its vastness. The lights of invisible ships and the pale, slow flashes of an unknown lighthouse and the hand dipped in the black water suddenly lit by blue sparks and, of course, the thousands and thousands of small grains of sand that covered everything around them.
– I feel so peaceful with you, darling, and I am glad that we are together.
– I couldn’t tell you everything on the phone. The official’s investigation dragged on, yes, if it hadn’t been for the hospital, it would have been different. It was a long goodbye, and the heart did not want to rest, but how nice to embrace the beautiful one, the only one. He never wanted to think of losing his beloved again…
– Darling, you were in the hospital. How could you help me? Please don’t blame yourself.
Alena tried to explain her helplessness in this or that situation only because they had to go through it. She was offended, too, but she did not stop loving and waiting. Uncertainty was what frightened her most, and sometimes even the plans she made with him were like an echo, but when you shout louder, you begin to believe in your own voice. That’s the comparison, almost fabulous. Assuming that her beloved could be sent on another business trip, to a place where the media kept reporting the continuation of hostilities, she was not overly concerned. In such moments, she remembered the words of the old man, who had earnestly asserted the absence of fear, apparently imagining the future and trying to reassure her. Now she had no desire to remember the past, much less to talk about it any further, for it too was fixed in the memory of its unpredictability and insidiousness.
– Yes, I understand, my love. I couldn’t call you, I was out of town, and then there was the investigation.
– How I worried about you, my love, afraid of losing you! Suddenly I thought my messages were to blame.
– My joy, how could you think that!
Her innocent reasoning only embarrassed him because he could not allow such a thought. Everything important in his life was about her and nothing else.
– Darling, you and I must stay in St. Petersburg. We will walk and rest together. I have a pleasant surprise for you. Don’t tell me you don’t like surprises.
– Of course we’ll stay in St. Petersburg for a few days. Why not? I’m very fond of surprises.
– That’s good. Darling, answer me a question. Why didn’t you leave the first time we met? After all, we had just met. There was a one in a hundred chance that you would do that.
– I just liked the young man in the car across from me. I just knew I couldn’t leave. If I had left first, you wouldn’t have had a chance to stay with me and like me.
– Is that why you sat across from me? Waiting for the guy to get serious and talk to you first? I adore you madly, my love.
– And I will bite you if you keep asking questions.
– That’s it, I’ll keep quiet. I am all yours, my Admiral. And you’ll get a commendation as commander-in-chief.
– What encouragement, what are you talking about?
– Come closer and I’ll kiss my beauty!
– What a joker you are! Honey, look at the waves, we’re about to get our feet wet! I always wanted to return to this island of love. And not to be a lonely woman.
– Yes, the Mediterranean is beautiful. Although I prefer our sea in the Far East, it’s rougher… Anyway, I don’t know where I am. The main thing is that you’re with me, my favorite girl.
– My amateur sailor, I forgive you your wrong coordinates and kiss you now.
– Come closer to me, here I am tangled in your curls again. Beloved baby, and I adore the smell of your hair.
– All for you, my strong man. Maybe tomorrow we’ll take a boat ride, walk through the old fortress. I would love to visit the ancient acropolis. And St. Paul’s Bay isn’t that far. The mood suddenly became adventurous, with a preference for good spirits and faith, like that of a navigator who has seen the shore of a long-awaited land at sea.
– Why don’t we go to a cozy tavern, have a glass of local wine, and I’ll admire your lovely, cunning eyes?
– Yes, that’s right, dear man.
– I don’t mind, but in the meantime you’re in my arms, temptress.
– Well, I will agree to be your prisoner, my love.
Alena loved the sudden urge that came over her. He laid her head gently on his chest and wrapped his arms around her. He smelled like a man, his scent stirred her, his frequent breathing turned her on. He ran his hand over her face, his thumb over her lips. She knew what he was doing, could almost smell the lust, the ruthless male determination.
– Hiding things from me again? – He smiled playfully and ran his hand down her bare leg, pulling up the hem of her dress.
– What am I going to do with you? Are you my naughty little girl?” he said in a hoarse voice, finally reaching her panties. He fumbled with his fingers and found the pretty one. The one she had so carelessly hidden from him. An exciting, pleasurable moan was the answer to this daring act. Relaxed, she laid her head on his shoulder.
– My beauty,” he said, panting with rage as he pulled down her panties, admiring the beauty of her thirsty, blissful face and the hair that fell so beautifully on her lovely breasts. – Come here! – As if commanding, he gasped and pulled her towards him. With every movement, her breasts beckoned, her eyes were covered, and her lips called and teased. Fury filled them both, forcing them to give vent to their passion. He kissed her shoulders, her neck, gently biting her earlobes, enjoying the sighs of a delicate flower so ruthlessly captured by him, yet so passionately yearning to love. The danger she sensed in him stirred and carried her to infinite heights. His gaze was determined, impatience flashing in his eyes. The pleasure that had already erupted in her became so violent that it swallowed her whole. His breath, his inviting voice, this whole night had merged and began to dissolve into one thing: the desire to love. She pressed gently against him, her body surrendering to his passionate caresses. She continued to move to the rhythm of his movements, wanting to finally feel all the power he had over her. Her body gladly accepted his dominance over her, trembling with excitement and pleasure. Calling out to his beloved, he felt the tantalizing beating of her heart. He loved her passionate sighs when she had no strength left for the next breath of air. And he answered her, his tongue bursting into her mouth, desperately seeking what another part of his body craved. He caressed her breasts, going lower and lower, kissing her stomach. He moaned with pleasure, pulling her to him. His intermittent breathing spoke of a storm inside and a loss of reason. This madness needed an outlet. He couldn’t hold back his hoarse sighs of bliss any longer.
She smiled and kissed her hero to bring him to his senses. She loved this lustful excitement and jealousy, it even amused her. It gave her confidence that she was the only woman, the only queen. The well-deserved pleasant feeling of finally being loved. The feeling of jealousy was also inherent in her – a beauty. too wonderful and beautiful he was. So gently and caringly he now laid his hand on her belly. Wrapped in a towel, she made herself comfortable in an armchair and began to taste the incredible, very tasty Greek wine. And she looked again at the blue Mediterranean. And the sailing ships at anchor reminded her of a fairy tale. In this fairy tale there were no troubles or problems. Only the blue sky and the calm surface of the sea. And then there is the cry of the seagulls. They are like a pendulum in time. She tried to answer the questions that were bothering her now. She went through the thoughts in her head again, and she couldn’t find any answers. Then she simply began to live in the here and now. Enjoying every happy moment in paradise…
I WANT TO WAKE UP WITH YOU
I want to wake up beside you and turn my face to you so that you can see the grateful joy in me. I will cry softly, without awakening the longing in my heart. I will speak softly so that no one can hear, words only for you. I’ll just live and love, Like the simple old man on the roof who has taken his hut of love and built it above. He’s no longer strong enough to fall down and up again. And he flew more and more silently. He cherished his wings. He was happy and lived his life without foreign thoughts in it. But he was happy for those who, like him, strove to build their huts higher.
OUTSIDE THE WINDOW THE SUN
Outside the window, the sun is beating like a madman! The midday sun burns mercilessly. And the mosquitoes fly in the cabbage patch. The sound of a summer day. My mood improves with every tomato I eat. Ah, the fresh breeze caresses my feet. I wish I could throw myself into a comfortable hammock. Yes, somewhere, on a deserted island. To be beautiful and enthusiastic about Mallorca! I laugh to myself. I’m sitting on a bench outside my house. And I say to myself, “You’ll never see a posh girl!” And these thoughts amused me pleasantly at that moment.
THINK ABOUT IT
– We have told you that we don’t leave you depending on whether you can hear us or not. We come to your plan in an emotional, disembodied state. But it has always been difficult for us to come to you, you are full of other concerns.
– “And you all want to be masters of both the strong and the weak, for it is easier to be weak, less responsibility. Thoughts are material, get healthy.
You say, “I believe, I believe,” so why haven’t you become healthy? Because you only know…”
– And how much you want to go home at first, you see no point in staying because you have seen the truth, and again you see no point in just continuing the useless karmic delusion.
It seems like that’s it, you’ve worked hard for everybody all at once, and you don’t relate to this world anymore, but you continue to live and breathe here. And in the end it doesn’t matter where you improve yourself, the main thing is to save others.
– “I, there is the universe, the universe, there is I” – this is the motto of all sincerely indifferent people.
– “Why chosen, means some privileges in your understanding? Yes, you have learned to look for the guilty. What is heaven in your understanding? Peace of mind? Would those who are here in your understanding, settled and living better, have peace of mind? No” – We will not leave you…
IF YOU ARE SEARCHING
If you are looking for truth, it means that you have often encountered untruths in life, as each of us has. Perhaps the truth is simply to be found in this restless way, understanding eyes that will be your mirror and reflect only the best and the good, will not betray and will not deceive. And the best thing is that you don’t have to be sure of anything, just as you don’t have to be sure of what no one is sure of, which is tomorrow. – “Never say never!” – is rightly said. Because necessarily and consequently tested by life itself, which can certainly happen to you. And so we continue to believe and hope. Searching for the truth, not shouting about it, not talking into the wind, so that no one can jinx our dreams. And only then will they surely come true! It is impossible to become good quickly through magic. This is the stupid opinion of most lazy people. And laziness is not acceptable for a serious, thinking person. You must work hard and be proud of your creations.
SHE BATHED IN FLOWERS
A barefoot girl bathing in flowers! The pungent smell of clover tickled her nostrils. Ah, merry deeds, when would I suffer so! I would pick flowers with you, girl! I’d swim in the gorge where I’ve been trampling lilies lately. I’d also forget my bravado and make you a wreath of flowers! I’ll also make you happy with a bouquet of flowers! If you remember me, of course, without grief. And I’m so happy that I can’t breathe, I’m so funny. With you, girl, in love and in flowers I bathe. I’m going crazy, but I’ll never forget the happy times. When I met you last summer, Witch – my darling!
GIRL STANDING ALONE
Our time flows like sand in the whirlpool of the years. Still young, we dream of conquering unknown peaks, of plunging into the ocean of great passions. But only one remains rebellious, like a girl on the sidelines. Shining with her purity and kind eyes. And how to tell her that there is nothing more beautiful and clean than her conscientious steps. Sometimes she is naive and sweet, always trying to help. But do we hear her sobs? We pay no attention to her silent suffering. Sooner or later there are only questions, and the answers have to be found somewhere. Yes, that’s the problem, somewhere we lived wrongly, or maybe we just were, in the whirlpool of the spinning years. I want to go lightly, when my time has come. To waltz with the fall of the leaves or the first snowfall, to go to another time. To create, to love and to live. How beautiful it is to give life and see its purpose. To hold a child close to my heart and rejoice in that tenderness. There is no happier mother than a child who smiles at us. But life as an essence is not important. The almighty spirit rules the ball. So be it, so be it, just to be happy. And not once, not twice, but countless times, let us repeat with you the movements of this foxtrot! When we’re spinning in the beautiful waltz, let’s not forget our girl on the sidelines. A companion you can’t find, a friend you can’t find. I want to hear you dance with me from year to year, from world to world. And just so I can understand – no need for me to conquer other people’s peaks…
– “Sometimes reality intertwines with another reality and the lost go crazy. – A lot of doubling and you do not notice how you get there. By observing, you test yourself,” – the spirit brother said about everything in a slightly confused and sly way.
“A soul can go to any world, but since its conscience is pure and not deceived, it will choose the world in which it can and must live. It will not go to a better world because it will be deceived in this, the in-between world. Only in your concept of an in-between world. It cannot be deceived, and that is all it is limited to, only that. Our time flows like sand in the whirlpool” Conscience is the universe. It is always with us and sees everything.
