Kitabı oku: «The family in historical and psychological aspects», sayfa 5

Psychological issues of increasing the responsibility of young people to marriage and family life include increasing the social prestige of fatherhood and motherhood; increasing the psychological readiness of boys and girls for marriage; providing them with the necessary knowledge on hygiene and child care, preschool psychology, child psychology, psychohygenesis of sexual life, the main problems of relationships between spouses; highlighting the issues of the most important rational household management, efficient and economical organization of the family budget. Of course, all these tasks really need to be solved in order to achieve the readiness of young people for family life. Here are the most important areas for school pedagogy in preparing high school students for marriage: Active awareness of the social essence of the family and the resulting consequences for personal life. Education and self-education of the qualities necessary for life in marriage. Formation of adequate marital and family representations. Mastering a certain amount of knowledge on the psychology and sociology of marriage and family.

In this regard, explaining the psychological essence of the family, it is necessary to constantly draw their attention to the enduring social significance of the two main functions of the family – reproductive and educational (physical and spiritual reproduction of the population), tirelessly emphasizing that only in the family they are able to be performed fully and naturally. Boys and girls should be quite clearly aware of the difficult truth, which is fully understood only in mature years – that the marital and family definition is a conscious self-restraint.

The need to see oneself self-realized, loved and happy in the future is natural and natural for everyone on the threshold of adulthood, but any dream is useful and achievable only in cases when it is supported by a real action plan that includes, in addition to the desired goals, also ways and means of achieving them.

However, this very abstract knowledge alone will not be enough to realize responsibility for the family if boys and girls do not learn the socio-psychological meaning behind the laws of public life and the mechanisms of regulation of people's social behavior that follow from it. This meaning lies in the need to perform – in a fairly definite, and most importantly, coordinated with others way – some intra—family functions, whose name is legion (this is a lot of household chores and problems associated with the maintenance of family life). After all, the very existence of a society is ultimately determined by how accurately and fully its constituent people perform the tasks they serve throughout their lives.

To denote the social requirements associated with these functions (which everyone must obey), and at the same time normative patterns of behavior, social psychologists have invented, perhaps not entirely successful, but the term "social role" has long been ingrained. Its failure is most of all connected with the tangible "theatricality" of the term and the following not very pleasant assumption that we do not live, but play. However, the boundaries of "correct" role behavior are by no means as rigid as it seems. Performing public functions, each of us has the right to realize his own style of playing a role, showing the unique characteristics of his personality.

From the point of view of society, the family is its micro-cell and can and should be considered precisely from a functional role position. And no matter how much husband, wife, children and close relatives love each other, the family as a community also needs its members to perform certain functions and "play" the roles associated with them. Moreover, there is an interdependence and mutual responsibility of the "actors" of the family "theater", in which, as in a real theatrical action, an incorrect gesture and an ill-timed remark can disrupt the entire performance.

"The analogy with the theater is quite appropriate here. In any case, this is what the famous social psychologist E. Goffman claims, who created the so—called "concept of social drama", the basis of which is an almost complete analogy between life and the theater. From this concept, the idea of the Proscenium and Backstage deserves undoubted interest. Its essence is quite simple: it is on the Foreground that actions take place that are directly related to role interactions "in its purest form" – with very strict requirements for the performance of roles in accordance with role expectations (boys and girls can be asked to recall how decorously, primly – in general, in accordance with the norms of the "ideal family" – they behave people themselves, receiving guests). Behavior behind the scenes is also associated with the performance of roles, but only the requirements for role-playing behavior there are much milder (it is behind the Scenes that spouses usually sort out their relationship, instantly, if necessary, returning to the Forefront, immediately ending the conflict and putting on a mask of cordiality, friendliness and mutual love, if guests accidentally descended at that moment). From all this follows two very important points, which, albeit to varying degrees (the first to a greater extent, and the second to a lesser extent), but must be understood by high school students. The first is that for the normal existence of a family, clear certainty and consistency of the rights and obligations of spouses and consideration of the expectations of other family members are necessary (and this moment and the consequences arising from it are so important and complex that we will return to all this more than once on the pages of our book). The second is related to the fact that sometimes it can be painfully difficult to wear a mask associated with a role and that anyone has the right to be not only a faceless role functionary, but also just himself. And most of all – in the family, because family relations are based on the unification of the only and unique people, and the role should not overshadow the person playing it, the uniqueness of his personality. This means that in the "family theater" of future family members, in addition to the Proscenium and Backstage, there should also be a Rest Room in which actors tired of a prolonged "performance" can simply relax, throw off annoying masks, listen to what has boiled over in the soul of another, and if necessary, take on the burden of his role…" (Kovalev S. V. Psychology of the modern family, "Enlightenment", Moscow, 1988, pp. 7-8).

The development of marital and family ideas of boys and girls includes: the formation of correct views on the relationship between love and marriage, overcoming consumer trends in relation to family and life partner, fostering realism and integrity in the perception of oneself and others.