Thinking out loud… Or who decides?

Translator Miya Mo

© Anna Delenn, 2020

© Miya Mo, translation, 2020

ISBN 978-5-4498-6063-7

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Foreword

I dedicate this book to those who seek the awakening of their souls. Each of us has a dormant angel. He is compassion, love, patience, understanding for everything. He is the true light, awareness, fulfillment and value of everything.

Every day we look for answers anywhere but not in ourselves. Solving more important issues, as it seems to us, and having completely forgotten about the most important thing, about Ourselves, each time we postpone the awakening of our souls further and further, someday later.

So the years go by… but the most important question is why I was born, why I came to the earth and what the meaning of this remains unresolved. Maybe to dig a hole or wash the floor well or to swear with a neighbor? Was I really born for this?

Who am I? How often do we ask ourselves this question? Or do we ask it at all?

Very often I hear from people: I am bad, I have nothing, life is pain, I hate people and so on. And what to do with all of this? In which suitcase I can cram it? And where is such a place to change it for happiness?

There is always a way out! And only the seeker will contemplate the truth that is bestowed upon him, having called his soul angel, having reached the absolute and uniting in himself everything inherent in man as a destiny for himself. And having gained freedom in the knowledge of himself as a soul and self-awareness.

Sometimes it seems to us that reality is what it really is. Or maybe reality is what we really want? And what can we want and what do our desires and wants consist of? If we look at every tiny moment of a tiny desire, then it turns out that desire is a need without which we cannot move on to our great basic desire. But what is desire?

Thinking about this, ideas come to me that true desire is only a state of goodness, silence, happiness. And it doesn’t matter how it was achieved. This is a moment between the past and the future in which lies the elusive mystery of being. Each such moment advances us towards awareness, despite the piles of endless memories and already non-existent realities.

How It All Began

My mom became pregnant at the age of forty when she was conducting serious scientific work and, of course, did not expect such a surprise. The first reaction was rejection: third child, career. But my fate was predetermined by the decision of my dad who said: We will give birth!, and he brought my mom into their country house, so she wouldn’t think of anything bad.

Before the already desired birth of the baby, a homeless cat scratched my mom and gangrene began. She refused to take any antibiotics or surgery until she passed the birth so as not to harm the fetus. One of the nurses seeing what was happening said that this infection was caused by Staphylococcus aureus which normally dies from eucalyptus.

And who would have imagined that infection began to decrease, and my mom’s hand was saved. This is a miracle and not in vain! She took a chance, not even knowing where the help would come from.

March ninth is my birthday. Sometimes it seems to me that I remember it even better than the events of a week ago. I was a happy child with an exorbitant share of curiosity, imagination and assertion of my rights, brought a lot of trouble and worries to my relatives. And the world around me was filled with the sun, joy and carelessness.

The only thing that always bothered me in childhood was why I know what my family does not know. And because of this, I thought maybe I was adopted or tossed to this family. I always wanted to do everything faster as if I could not have enough time or might forget.

With age, this has not changed as if time is a second in which I need to succeed. And if I don’t do it now, then there will be no opportunity or something will be lost, or it will become unnecessary.

To freeze and do nothing is to do too or to do everything at the same time. The main thing is to do what is now possible or conceived, or according to a schedule, or the way everyone does it. One way or another, we can only do what we can!

In any case, there is only one task – to become happy. After all, we have such simple tasks that we don’t notice them and it seems to us that happiness is somewhere else. To do something, to conceive happiness… But what if, enjoying what was done, we stop and see that this happiness is already achieved? And if we think about it, then this combination of what we made and happiness is a couple, like a man and a woman, in the absolute of the physical and spiritual world, balance and harmony.