Kitabı oku: «The Life You Left», sayfa 2
She glanced at James who was frowning. She’d had a few hours to digest the news that Edward was back; James had just had a few minutes. Plus, to be fair to her brother, James had never actually met Edward; he only ever had her word that he even existed. The fact that he always believed her left her in grateful awe. Sarah knew that it was extremely difficult for most people to understand and believe in something that they couldn’t see or touch. That was why she had kept Edward’s existence a secret for so long, not even sharing with Paul. Would he have believed her? Her instinct was no. He would have reacted the same way as her parents. They all thought she was crazy, and if she was honest who could really blame them? How could you expect people to believe that your best friend was in fact, a guardian angel?
Chapter Three
Sarah sat up with a start. A line of perspiration glistened on her forehead. She was shivering, despite the heavy duvet covering her body.
She leaned over and flicked on her bedside lamp, checking her watch as she did. It was 3.06 a.m. She knew there was no point in trying to go back to sleep. From experience, it would be at least an hour before that would happen, if at all. She had just awoken from a particularly bad nightmare. Already, as is often the way with dreams, the details of it were beginning to get murky. Unfortunately one image kept flashing into her mind, one she would have been happy to lose.
A young woman lying on the beach. Naked. Covered in blood.
‘You look tired.’ James said to Sarah when he was round at the house later that day.
‘I had a nightmare last night, didn’t get a huge amount of sleep. Thanks for coming with me by the way.’ Sarah said to her brother.
‘No worries. Sure this one could be a complete nut-job. There’s no way you are doing this on your own!’ James said emphatically.
‘She could be a nut-job just like me, you mean?’ Sarah asked playfully.
James replied in kind, ‘You? Nut-job? No! But for the craic let’s just summarise. An angel called Edward, who used to be your best friend when you were a child, has casually rocked up into your kitchen. Incidentally because of your insistence that Edward was real and not a figment of your imagination, you were committed by Mam and Dad for psychiatric assessment, thereafter you spent years in and out of therapy. Now the bold Eddy, enigmatic as ever is saying very little, except that you have a gift. As yet we don’t know what this is. I’d have put money on that it’s your finesse at baking, but not sure that’s what Eddy is talking about! Now that doesn’t make you sound like a Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut bar in the slightest!’
Sarah laughed at this, thank god for James; he was making this so much easier.
‘And to top it all off, this ability of yours is expected to help solve a murder of which we know nothing about. Eddy reckons we need to speak to some lady called Mary Donegan. So here we are outside some random woman’s home, about to knock on her door and say hello.’ James took an imaginary bow.
‘Why Watson, thank you for that summary.’ Sarah said with a smile. ‘Think that just about covers it! As much as I’m enjoying listening to you, I suppose we better get this show on the road. I’ve got to get back to collect the kids from Rita’s house by tea time.’
Sarah knew a lot of people didn’t have time for their mothers-in-law, but for Sarah it was the opposite. Rita was a godsend to her.
‘She heard anything from that loser of a son of hers?’ James asked.
‘He has a name, James.’ Sarah said with a sigh. ‘And no, she hasn’t heard anything from Paul in weeks either.’
‘He doesn’t deserve to be called by his first name, in my opinion.’ James retorted. He could feel himself getting angry again, as he always did whenever Paul came into his mind. ‘How can he leave a wife with three children, one only a small baby? What kind of man does that?’
Sarah could feel her head thumping again. ‘Please James, not now. I can’t deal with Paul on top of all this. I know you’re right. It’s not fair, but there’s extenuating circumstances. He says he’s having a breakdown. He can’t help himself.’
‘That’s a load of bullsh…’ Seeing Sarah’s face, he stopped himself. ‘Ok, I’ll leave it, but he just gets me so wound up.’
She was close to tears, as she often was whenever her wayward husband’s name came up.
‘Hey Sarah, don’t cry. I’ll zip it about Paul, promise. Come on, let’s go meet this Mary one and see what she has to say! Wonder what age she is?’ James wondered out loud. ‘She could be hot! Hey!’ James yelped as his sister punched him on his arm. ‘What was that for?’
‘We’re not here for you to get your next victim lined up!’ Sarah said with a laugh. ‘Come on, behave. I don’t care if she looks like Angelina Jolie; keep your hands to yourself!’
‘Hey, less of the victim, if you please. I’ll have you know that all my girlfriends are very well looked after by me. Hey!’ He yelped again. ‘Leave out the hitting. You have some right hook on you! I promise I’ll behave. There will be no chatting up of anyone. But if she’s anything like Angelina, all bets are off!’
They rang the doorbell and waited with nervous anticipation. Sarah had no idea who or what to expect.
With that the door opened and a tiny woman, no more than five feet peeped out. She was middle aged but hard to determine what side of fifty she was on. Her face was lined, not from frowning but with what Sarah guessed were laughter lines. She was plump and exuded warmth, and Sarah felt the urge to throw herself into her arms for a hug. Pulling herself together, she simply smiled at her. Mary smiled back, an expectant look on her face.
‘Hello’ Sarah stammered. ‘My name is Sarah Lawler. This is my brother, James. Are you Mary Donegan?’
‘Yes, I am.’ Mary replied with a friendly smile. ‘How can I help you?’
Sarah wasn’t sure where to start. ‘Erm, it’s a bit tricky this. I’m not really sure why I’m here. I was told to come and see you.’
‘Who told you to come see me, pet?’ Mary answered smiling, like it was the most normal thing in the world to have such a conversation.
‘Edward did.’
‘And who is that? Is he a friend of yours?’ Mary continued.
‘Well this is the tricky bit. You’ll probably not believe me, not sure I would believe me either. Edward is a friend of mine. But most people can’t see him.’ Sarah blurted out quickly reddening up to her ears. She held her breath, never taking her eyes of Mary, wondering what the response was going to be. She half expected the door to be slammed in their faces.
Mary continued smiling and then opened her door fully, ‘Oh that explains it! You should have said so sooner dear. Come on in so, both of you.’
They walked into the apartment and Sarah was surprised at what she saw. The apartment was ultra-modern and chic. It was clutter free and was decorated in varying shades of white and cream, the only splashes of colour on the wall were the art, which were contemporary. It seemed to contradict the first impression Sarah had formed of Mary, which was a mother earth type.
‘What a beautiful apartment.’ Sarah complimented.
‘Thank you.’ Mary nodded and smiled again. ‘It suits me very well. One of the advantages of being on one’s own is that you get to decorate your home to exactly your own tastes. No need to take into account anyone else’s requirements!’
‘Well it’s very chic.’ Sarah replied a little in awe. Her mind flitted to her chaotic house that always looked cluttered no matter how much she tidied up.
Mary indicated that they should sit down in the big open plan living space. ‘So, you have met your guardian angel, Edward, you said?’ Mary asked. ‘How lovely.’
‘You believe me? You know he’s an angel?’ Sarah asked incredulously.
‘Of course. Why wouldn’t I? Sure we all have a guardian angel.’
‘Even me?’ James said startled.
‘Yes, even you.’ Mary replied with a laugh. ‘Your angel is called Lorna.’
‘A girl! I might have known!’ Sarah said with a laugh.
‘What’s she look like?’ James asked Mary excitedly.
‘She’s very beautiful, tall with long blonde hair. All angels are beautiful. She has a message for you actually.’ Mary said dramatically, winking to Sarah as she turned to him.
James nearly fell off the edge of the 18th century white chaise longue he was perched on. ‘What message?’ He whispered. He was feeling excited now.
‘She asked would you mind changing your chat-up story, she’s getting a bit bored of the dying children in the orphanage tale.’
James paled at this. Sarah yelped with laughter. ‘Please tell me you’re not still using that line – ‘I held a dying child in my arms as she breathed her last breath!’ story? You are unbelievable.’
James went from white to red. ‘How on earth does she know that?’ He spluttered.
Mary just smiled at him.
‘In my defence I send money to Chernobyl every month.’ James added lamely.
‘Shame on you.’ Sarah added, shaking her head.
Mary smiled herself. ‘Your angel is with you whenever you need her. But angels have a good sense of humour you know. I have a feeling that Lorna is having a little joke here, teasing you about your love life!’
‘Well you can assure her I’ll not use that line again.’ James replied with a slight sniff. ‘I’ll come up with something new to keep her amused!’
Making a face at James, Sarah whispered, ‘Calm down, focus on why we’re here.’
‘Mary, do you know why Edward sent me to see you?’ Sarah asked. ‘Have you spoken to him too?’
‘No. But he’s here now, alongside my own guardian angel, Diana. Look, see for yourself.’
Sarah turned around and sure enough Edward was standing there, smiling at her.
‘Hi Edward,’ Sarah said with a smile. ‘How come I can see Edward but not the other two angels? Yet you can see all of them?’
‘Oh but you could see them if you wanted to, Sarah.’ Mary replied. ‘You just need to open your eyes and really look. All in good time.’
Sarah looked again. No, still only Edward. Frustrated, she turned to Mary. ‘Why am I here?’
Mary walked over and sat close beside Sarah on the couch. She took her two hands in hers. ‘Well, pet, I have a feeling that you and I are going to be great friends. You’re going to need someone to help you understand and come to terms with your gift. And as I have that gift too, I know how much of a curse and a blessing it can be.
‘What gift?’ Both James and Sarah said at the same time.
‘Why, you have the gift of being psychic, pet. You just have to believe in the power that is within you.’
Chapter Four
Mary felt sorry for the young woman sitting in front of her. Her revelation was clearly a big shock. For her it had been very different. There wasn’t a memory for Mary that didn’t include Diana. Every night while she slept as a child, Diana would exude a soft white glow that covered Mary in a blanket of safety and security. Her parents never questioned Mary’s relationship with Diana. In fact they welcomed it; saw it as a gift from God. It didn’t take her psychic powers to work out that it was a very different story for Sarah. She wondered what traumas Sarah had endured as a child, what lay beneath that façade she had created for herself. She’d find all that out in time she figured. For now, she needed to help Sarah understand the role of angels, help her come to terms with her revelation.
‘What do you know about angels?’ Mary asked. She’d made them all a pot of tea. She served it in a beautiful silver tea service, with pretty china tea cups and saucers, with such a delicate pattern of pale green and pink flowers. She also produced a cake stand filled with cupcakes with a pistachio green frosting on top.
‘Wowsers.’ James whispered, as he grabbed a cupcake.
‘I don’t really know much about them at all.’ Sarah admitted. ‘After Edward disappeared when I was a child, I tried my very best to block any reference to them I came across. I suppose that probably seems strange to you.’
‘Not strange at all. I look forward to hearing your story about how you met Edward, but first of all let me tell you what I’ve learned over the past fifty years or so about them.’ Taking a bite of one of the cupcakes, she mumbled, ‘My one vice, pet. I can’t get enough of cupcakes. Little pieces of heaven these are.’
James was happily munching on his second one and grunted his agreement.
Putting down her tea, Mary started, ‘Well, let me see, what can I tell you? Let’s start at the beginning; guardian angels have been popping up in literature for over 4000 years now. Some believe that angels are sent by God to bring messages to people who are in critical situations. These messages from God can be either a warning or a comfort in times of danger and fear.’
Mary couldn’t help but notice the look that James threw in Sarah’s direction.
‘I’m wondering, if it’s not too personal, is that why Edward is here right now for you? Have things been difficult for you lately? Are you in need of comfort?’
Sarah smiled wryly. ‘I suppose you could say that. I’m on my own at the moment. My husband disappeared a few weeks ago without any warning that something was wrong. He’s having a breakdown of some kind and needs to be on his own. But I’m coping the best I can. I have no other choice but to. You have to with three children.’ Her voice cracked at the end.
‘Don’t put a brave face on it!’ James exploded. ‘He left with nothing but a weak cowardly email saying I’m sorry! It’s been horrendous for you and the children. Especially the older two, Tommy and Katie, sure they don’t know why their Daddy has disappeared.’
Sarah turned to Edward, looking into his black eyes. ‘Is that why you’ve come back, Edward?’ She asked him. ‘Because my life is a complete mess?’
Edward walked over to Sarah and gently said, ‘I’ve never left you, I’ve always been here right by your side – through every magical and wondrous time of your life to date. On your wedding day. For each of your children’s births. I was with you the whole time. But in answer to your question, yes, part of the reason why I’ve shown myself again to you is because I want to help you now. I want to give you solace and guide you.’
‘What did he say?’ James asked. ‘This is so annoying, not being able to hear both sides of a conversation!’
Sarah smiled at her brother’s irritation. ‘He said yes, in part he’s here to comfort me because things are hard.’ She turned to Mary and asked, ‘Can you tell me more about them – our guardians? Help me understand.’
‘Of course I can. We mere mortals don’t see everything. We only see what we want to. So angels are here to point out what our careless eyes can’t take in.’
‘Why doesn’t God just tell us himself, cut out the middle man?’ James asked.
Mary smiled as she said, ‘You have a wonderful way of seeing things, James. But I think that God would be way too much for most of us to take in. Think of guardian angels as diplomatic envoys if you like.’
‘Diplomatic envoys. I like that.’ James said with a smile. ‘That’s kind of cool, sis.’
Sarah smiled and continued. ‘Edward hasn’t aged at all since I last saw him, Mary. Do they have a lifespan like humans?’
‘That’s a good question, Sarah. But no, angels don’t decay or die, they are spiritual beings. They can think and hold conversations with us. They each have their own identities. And truth be told we are learning continuously about them and their powers, with more and more people believing in them.’
‘I had a girlfriend once who had lots of angel figurines all over her house.’ James interjected. ‘She got them from a shop that sells angel stuff in Wexford.’
Mary smiled at this. ‘Yes, the concept of angels is becoming popular. I think some people need to believe in something bigger than themselves. Especially right now with the way things are in Ireland.’
They all nodded in agreement to this. The recent recession of the past few years affected so many.
‘Everybody has a guardian angel.’ Mary continued. ‘At some point or other everyone has had contact from their angel, even if they didn’t recognise it as that. Have you ever had days where you kept finding pennies?’
Both James and Sarah nodded yes.
‘I found one this morning!’ James said in awe. ‘A cent was on the doorstep when I was leaving to head to work.’
‘That was Lorna letting you know she was with you today. I call those Pennies from Heaven. Often if you look at the penny you found and take a note of the date on it, it will have some significance. Other gifts from angels are white feathers. These are the most common form of angel communication. When we unconsciously ask for guidance from angels, they will often send us signs with the answers we seek.’
Mary stopped speaking for a few minutes. Sarah and James needed time to digest all the information she’d thrown at them.
‘Drink up, pet.’ Mary said to James. ‘It’s a blend of Monkey Picked Oolong and Silver Needle White tea. It’s quite delicious.’
James couldn’t help but agree. It was the nicest cuppa albeit the strangest afternoon tea he’d ever experienced. He half expected Alice to come running in followed by the Mad Hatter.
Turning to Sarah again, Mary continued, ‘Every person has some innate psychic medium skill within them, and all of us are capable of seeing, communicating, and even working with our guardian angels. But most of us just ignore that side of ourselves. And then for some of us, pet, we have extraordinary psychic skills.’
‘Psychic powers?’ Sarah repeated, looking more and more bemused.
James put down his tea too. Taking a deep breath, he said. ‘So basically all of us could see and communicate with our guardian angels if we wanted to?’
Mary nodded her confirmation to this so James continued. ‘How come I can’t then? I’m open to it. I’ve watched my sister talk to her angel for years as a kid. Yet never did I see either Eddy or Lorna. Why’s that?’
‘It’s not as simple as just wanting to see our angel.’ Mary responded. ‘We have to trust in our inborn psychic potential to link up with these divine entities. And that’s not something that most of us have the ability to do. Sarah however, she’s different.’
Sarah was reeling. ‘It’s a lot to take in, Mary.’ She stated. ‘I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. What exactly am I supposed to do?’
‘You need to start working with Edward. Open your mind to him, talk to him, and allow him to guide you. Some of today's most powerful psychic mediums work with guardian angels. You’re probably going to start having some new and different experiences. For now go home, try to come to terms with Edward’s presence. And start looking at life with a fresh pair of eyes. You may start to see and feel things that will shock you.’
Sarah and James got up to leave. This time Sarah followed her first instinct and gave Mary a huge hug. She felt instinctively close to her, an immediate bond had formed between them and quite happily stayed in the embrace.
Walking to the car with James, he whispered, ‘Don’t you dare begin to see my angel! ‘I can just about get my head around Edward, but I’ll not cope with a disapproving angel who can tell tales to my sister!’
Sarah laughed as she got in the car thanking her lucky stars once again that she had James with her. He never let her down and was there for her. She thought of Paul and how it should really be him beside her right now, helping get through this revelation she had just received from Mary. But somehow or other, even if Paul hadn’t left home, she doubted he would have been sitting beside her. The thought sobered her.
At what point in her marriage had it become normal that Paul wouldn’t be with her either emotionally or physically when she needed him most? She felt a single tear fall onto her lap and felt a now familiar surge of panic overtake her, her breath becoming shallow again. It was all too much. She’d been putting off so many things lately, her AWOL husband and her financial crisis at the top of the list. She knew it was time to sit down and take a good look at how bad things were.
Once the children were in bed, Sarah sat down with a cup of tea and opened her laptop to check her online bank account. She needed to do an immediate assessment of her current financial situation.
Every day she woke up and the first thought she had was, is it today that Paul comes home? She repeated to herself over and over throughout the day, it will be ok once Paul is back, he’ll know what to do. But as the days became weeks, the hope for his return was replaced treble fold with despair. Surely whatever mental state he was in wasn’t so bad that he would forget about his responsibilities? She massaged her temples, a blinding headache beginning. She was getting a lot of them lately.
She looked down at the ever increasing pile of brown envelopes in front of her. Taking a deep breath she started to organise them into three piles – First request, Second Request and Final Demand. The pile for Final Demand with big, ugly, red lettering over them was the biggest; no surprise really.
She took out her calculator and started to add up how much she owed in each pile. As the sum got higher and higher, the more overwhelmed she felt. Her wages from the boutique didn’t even make a small dent in how much she owed, plus she still had to pay their mortgage and feed them all.
Nervous breakdown or not, Paul was going to have to come home and answer some questions. She couldn’t do this on her own. Closing her eyes she leaned back into the soft cushion on her sofa. She felt herself drifting off and soon was fast asleep.
An hour later she awoke, feeling cold. She’d stopped putting the fire on in the sitting room, to save on fuel costs, but the room had gotten quite chilly. Pulling her cardigan around her more tightly, she shivered as she remembered the dream she’d just had.
A woman loads a dishwasher. A man walks into the kitchen and looks at this woman. Evil exudes from his every pore. His disdain for the woman is impossible to ignore. Whoever this lady is, she’s in danger.
