Kitabı oku: «Трое в лодке, не считая собаки / Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog)», sayfa 11
“I never see him doing any work there,” said Harris. “He sits behind a bit of glass all day, trying to look as if he was doing something. What use is he there, and what’s the good of their banks? If he was here, we could go and see that tomb. I don’t believe he’s at the bank at all. I’m going to get out, and have a drink.”
It is always best to let Harris say everything he wants. Then he pumps himself out48, and is quiet afterwards.
I reminded him that there was concentrated lemonade in the hamper, and a gallon-jar of water in the nose of the boat, and we could mix them and make a cool and refreshing beverage.
Then he said those beverages produced dyspepsia, and ruined body and soul alike, and were the cause of half the crime in England.
He added he must drink something, however, and climbed upon the seat, and began to look for the bottle. It was right at the bottom of the hamper, and seemed difficult to find, and he had to lean over further and further, and, he pulled the wrong line, and sent the boat into the bank, and the shock upset him, and he dived down right into the hamper, and stood there on his head. He dared not move for fear of going over49, and had to stay there till I could get hold of his legs, and take him back, and that made him madder than ever.
Chapter VIII
We stopped under the willows, and lunched. It is a pretty little spot there: a pleasant grass plateau with willows. We had just commenced the third course – the bread and jam – when a gentleman came along, and wanted to know if we knew that we were trespassing50. We said we did not know, but we could believe him.
We thanked him, but he still hung about, and seemed to be dissatisfied, so we asked him if there was anything further that we could do for him; and Harris offered him a bit of bread and jam.
The man said that it was his duty to turn us off. He would go and consult his master, and then come back.
Of course, we never saw him any more, and, of course, all he really wanted was a shilling. Harris said he not only wanted to kill the man but sing comic songs51 on the ruins of his house.
You have never heard Harris sing a comic song. It is one of Harris’s fixed ideas that he can sing a comic song. The fixed idea, on the contrary, among those of Harris’s friends who have heard him try, is that he can’t and never will be able to.
When Harris is at a party, and is asked to sing, he replies: “Well, I can only sing a comic song, you know;” and he shows that is a thing that you ought to hear once, and then die.
