Kitabı oku: «Трое в лодке, не считая собаки / Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog)», sayfa 12
“Oh, that is nice,” says the hostess. “Do sing one, Mr. Harris”; and Harris gets up, and comes to the piano.
“Now, silence, please, everybody”, says the hostess, turning round. “Mr. Harris is going to sing a comic song!”
“Oh, how jolly!” they murmur; and they hurry in, and come up from the stairs, and crowd into the drawing-room, and sit round.
Then Harris begins.
Well, you expect a wonderful voice for a comic song. You don’t expect correct phrasing or vocalization. But you do expect the words. You don’t – well, I will just give you an idea of Harris’s comic singing, and then you can judge of it for yourself.
HARRIS (standing up in front of piano and addressing the expectant mob): “I’m afraid it’s a very old thing, you know. I expect you all know it, you know. But it’s the only thing I know. It’s the Judge’s song – no, I don’t mean it – I mean – you know what I mean – the other thing, you know. You must all join in the chorus, you know.”
Brilliant performance of prelude to the Judge’s song by nervous Pianist. Moment arrives for Harris to join in. Harris takes no notice of it. Nervous pianist commences prelude over again, and Harris, commencing singing at the same time, dashes off52 the first two lines. Nervous pianist tries to finish the prelude, then he tries to follow Harris with accompaniment, and stops.
HARRIS (with kindly encouragement): “It’s all right. You’re doing it very well, indeed – go on.”
NERVOUS PIANIST: “I’m afraid there’s a mistake somewhere. What are you singing?”
HARRIS (promptly): “The Judge’s song. Don’t you know it?”
A FRIEND OF HARRIS’S (from the back of the room): “No, you’re not, you’re singing the Admiral’s song.”
Long argument between Harris and Harris’s friend as to what Harris is really singing53. Friend finally suggests that it doesn’t matter what Harris is singing, and Harris requests pianist to begin again. Pianist starts prelude to the Admiral’s song, and Harris begins.
HARRIS: ‘When I was young and called to the Bar.’
General roar of laughter, taken by Harris as a compliment. Pianist, thinking of his wife and family, retires; his place is taken by a stronger-nerved man.
THE NEW PIANIST (cheerily): “Now then, old man, you start off, and I’ll follow. We won’t bother about any prelude.”
HARRIS (laughing): “Oh, I beg your pardon. Of course – I’ve mixed up the two songs. It was Jenkins54 confused me, you know. Now then.
Singing; his voice sounds like an approaching earthquake.
