Kitabı oku: «Rising Stars Collection 2015», sayfa 27
CHAPTER TWELVE
COURTNEY rang in the morning to see how Harry’s night had been and said that she’d be in soon. Bridgette went with Harry for his hearing test and then surprisingly Raymond, the ENT consultant, came and saw him on the ward. ‘Glue ear,’ Raymond informed her. ‘His hearing is significantly down in both ears, which would explain the speech delay. It can make them very miserable. We’ll put him on the waiting list for grommets.’ It might explain the temper tantrums too, Bridgette thought, kicking herself for overreaction.
By late afternoon, when Courtney still hadn’t arrived and Harry was dozing, Bridgette slipped away and up to Maternity, even though she’d rung to explain things. Rita was nice and surprisingly understanding.
‘We’re having a family meeting tomorrow,’ Bridgette explained. ‘I really am sorry to let you down. I’ll do nights just as soon as I can.’
‘Don’t be sorry—of course you can’t work,’ Rita said. ‘You need to get this sorted.’
Though her family seemed convinced there was nothing to sort, and as Bridgette walked onto the ward, she could see Courtney sitting on the chair beside Harry, all smiles. She was playing the doting mother or ‘mother of the year’, as Jasmine would have said. Dominic was examining Harry’s new neighbor, young Roman, and Bridgette stood and spoke to Tony for a moment. Harry, annoyed that Bridgette wasn’t coming straight over, stood up, put up his leg and with two fat fists grabbed the cot, annoyed that with the barrier he couldn’t get over it—he was indeed a climber, it was duly noted, not just by the nurses but by Courtney. And Bridgette wondered if she was going mad. Maybe there was nothing wrong with her sister’s parenting and she, Bridgette, had been talking nonsense all along.
‘Thanks so much for staying last night,’ Courtney said. ‘I was just completely exhausted. I’d been up all night with him teething. Mum said that that can give them the most terrible rash…and then when he climbed out, when I heard him fall…’
‘No problem,’ Bridgette said. ‘ENT came down and saw him.’
‘Yes, the nurse told me,’ Courtney said, and rather pointedly unzipped her bag and took out her pyjamas. Brand-new ones, Bridgette noticed. Courtney was very good at cleaning up her act when required. ‘You should get some rest, Bridgette.’ Courtney looked up and her eyes held a challenge that Bridgette knew she simply couldn’t win. ‘You look exhausted. I’m sure I’ll see you at the family meeting and you will have plenty to say about his nappy rash and that I put him to bed without washing him to Aunty Bridgette’s satisfaction.’
Dominic saw Courtney’s smirk after Bridgette had kissed Harry and left.
He spoke for a moment with Tony, told him he would see him tomorrow. And Dominic, a man who always stayed late, left early for once and met Bridgette at her car. It wouldn’t start, because in her rush to get to see Harry last night, she’d left her lights on.
‘Just leave me.’ She was crying, furious, enraged, and did not want him to see.
‘I’ll give you a lift.’
‘So I can sort out a flat battery tomorrow! So I can take a bus to the meeting.’ She even laughed. ‘They’ll think I’m the one with the problem. She’s in there all kisses and smiles and new pyjamas. She’ll be taking him home this time tomorrow.’
‘She’ll blow herself out soon,’ Dominic said.
‘And it will start all over again.’ She turned the key one last hopeless time and of course nothing happened.
‘Come on,’ Dominic said. ‘I’ll take you home.’
They drove for a while in silence. Dominic never carried tissues, but very graciously he gave her the little bit of silk he used to clean his sunglasses. With little other option, she took it.
‘I do get it.’
‘Sure!’
‘No, I really do,’ Dominic said. ‘For three years after Chris was born it was row after row. My father wanted him gone—he never came out and said it, didn’t have the guts, and I can tell you the day it changed, I can tell you the minute it changed.’ He snapped his fingers as he drove. ‘My mother told him to get out because Chris wasn’t going anywhere. She told him if he stayed in her home then he followed her rules.’ They were at the roundabout and she wanted him to indicate, wanted to go back to his place, but instead he drove straight on. ‘She got her fire back.’ He even grinned as he remembered his trophy-wife mother suddenly swearing and cursing in Spanish. He remembered the drama as she’d filled his father’s suitcases and hurled them out, followed by his golf clubs, as she picked up Chris and walked back in. ‘I really want you to listen, Bridgette. You need to think about what you want before you go into that meeting. You will need to sort out what you’re prepared to offer or what you’re prepared to accept, not for the next week or for the next month but maybe the next seventeen years—you need to do the best for yourself.’
‘I’m trying my best.’
‘Bridgette, you’re not listening to me. My mum could have gone along with Dad—she could have had a far easier life if she hadn’t been a single mum bringing up a special-needs child. Chris could have been slotted into a home. Instead he went to one when he was eighteen, to a sheltered home with friends, and my mother did it so that he’d have a life, a real one. She did not want him to have to start over in thirty years or so when she was gone. She thought out everything and that included looking out for herself. What I said was you have to do the best for you—you have to look out for yourself in this…’
Dominic gritted his teeth in frustration as he could see that she didn’t understand what he meant and knew that he would have to make things clear. ‘The best thing that could happen is that Courtney suddenly becomes responsible and gets well suddenly, becomes responsible and looks after Harry properly—and we both know that’s not going to happen. Now, you can run yourself ragged chasing after Courtney, living your life ready to step in, or you can work out the life you want and what you’re prepared to do.’
She still didn’t get it.
‘Bridgette, she could have another baby. She could be pregnant right now!’ She closed her eyes. It was something she thought about late at night sometimes, that this could be ongoing, that there could be another Harry, or a little Harriet, or twins. ‘Come away with me on Saturday,’ he said. ‘Come for the weekend, just to see…’
‘What about Arabella?’
‘What about her?’ Dominic said. ‘I told her last night the same thing I told her when we had coffee on Saturday. We’re through. And I’ve told her that I’m blocking her from my phone.’ He knew he was pushing it, but this time he said it. ‘You could be my moll!’
‘I’ve got other things to think about right now.’
‘Yes,’ he said as he pulled up at her door. ‘You do.’
And she didn’t ask him in, and neither did he expect her to, but he did pull her into his arms and kiss her.
‘Don’t…’ She pulled her head back.
‘It’s a kiss.’
‘A kiss that’s going nowhere,’ she said. ‘I’m not very good at one-night stands, in case you didn’t work it out. And I really think the holiday is over…’
‘Why won’t you let anyone in?’
‘Because I can’t stand being hurt again,’ Bridgette admitted. ‘And you and I…’ She was honest. ‘Well, it’s going to hurt, whatever way you look at it.’ And she did open up a bit, said what she’d thought all those days ago. ‘My life’s not exactly geared to hopping on planes.’
‘You only need to hop on one,’ Dominic said, and he was offering her the biggest out, an escape far more permanent than her flat.
‘Think about it,’ he said.
‘I can’t.’
‘Just think about it,’ Dominic said. ‘Please.’
He wished her all the very best for the next day, then drove down the road and pulled out his phone.
‘It’s Wednesday,’ Chris said. ‘Why are you ringing me on a Wednesday?’
‘I’m just ringing you,’ Dominic said. ‘It doesn’t only have to be on a Friday.’
‘It’s about Bridgette?’ Chris said, and Dominic couldn’t help a wry grin that he was ringing his brother for advice. ‘The one with the baby.’
‘It’s not her baby,’ Dominic said, because he’d explained about Harry as they’d walked along the beach.
‘But she loves him.’
‘Yep.’
‘Well, why can’t they come and live here?’
‘Because it’s not going to happen,’ Dominic said. ‘His mum loves him too.’
‘And you can’t stay there because you’re coming over on Saturday,’ Chris reminded him. ‘For my birthday.’ He heard the silence. ‘You said you would.’
‘I did.’
‘See you on Saturday,’ Chris said.
And Dominic did know how Bridgette felt—he was quite sure of that, because he felt it then too, thought of his brother all dressed up with his friends and his disappointment if he wasn’t there. He thought of Bridgette facing it alone.
‘You are coming?’ Chris pushed.
‘You know I am,’ Dominic said. ‘I’ll see you then.’
‘Are you still going to ring me on Friday?’ Chris said, because he loathed a change in routine.
‘Of course.’
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘HI, TONY!’ Dominic said the next morning. ‘Hi, Roman.’ He tried not to look at Harry, who was watching him from the next cot. He’d seen all the Joyce family head off to the conference room, Courtney marching in front, the parents, as Bridgette would say, joined at the hip, and an exhausted-looking Bridgette bringing up the rear.
‘Is this your last morning?’ Tony said, because it was common knowledge now that he was leaving.
‘No,’ Dominic said. ‘I’m on call tonight.’
‘Well, if I don’t see you I just want to be sure to thank you for everything with Roman and Esperanza and Maria,’ Tony said.
‘You’re very welcome,’ Dominic said. ‘How are they both doing?’
‘They’re amazing,’ Tony replied. ‘Maria’s a bit torn of course. She wants to be here more, but she doesn’t want to bring Esperanza here…’
‘Better not to,’ Dominic said. He finished examining Roman and told his father he was pleased with his progress and that hopefully by Monday Roman would be home.
‘It will be nice to have a full house again,’ Tony said. ‘Thought we couldn’t have children—three goes at IVF for the twins, then Roman surprises us and now Esperanza!’
Dominic carried on with his round and tried not to think what was going on in the conference room, tried not to think about the offer he had made last night.
Bridgette couldn’t not think about it.
She had pondered it all night, had been thinking about it in the car park for the hour she had waited to sort out her battery, and she was feeling neither hopeful nor particularly patient with her family. She sat there and the meeting went backwards and forwards, like some endless round of table tennis, getting nowhere. She listened to Courtney making excuses and promises again, watched her parents, who so badly wanted to believe their youngest daughter’s words. She listened to the social worker, who, Bridgette realised, was very willing for Harry’s aunt to support her sister—and of course she didn’t blame them; but she realised that no one was ever going to tell her that she was doing too much. She had to say it herself.
‘This is what I’m prepared to do.’ She looked around the room and then at her sister; she took over the bat and slammed out her serve and said it again, but a bit louder this time.
‘This is what I’m prepared to do,’ she repeated. And when she had the room’s attention, she spoke. ‘Harry is to attend daycare here at the hospital, whether he’s staying with you or being babysat by me—there has to be some consistency in his life. I will pay for his place if that is a concern you have, but he has to be there Monday to Friday from now on.’ She looked at the social worker. ‘If I can get a place again.’
‘I can sort that out.’ She nodded. ‘We have a couple of places reserved for special allocations.’ Bridgette turned to her parents. ‘Mum, if I’m on a late shift or working nights and Harry is in my care, for whatever reason, you have to collect him or stay overnight. I can’t always work early shifts.’
‘You know we do our best!’ Betty said. ‘Of course we’ll pick him up.’
Bridgette looked over at the caseworker, who gave a bit of a nod that told her to go on. ‘He’s due to have surgery…’ She was finding a voice and she knew what to do with it, was grateful for Dominic’s advice because she’d heeded it. ‘He’s on the waiting list for grommets and if that comes up while he’s in my care I want to be able to go ahead. I want written permission obtained so that when Harry is in my care, or at any time I’m concerned, I can speak to doctors and I can take him to appointments. And I want—’
‘I don’t want him in daycare,’ Courtney chimed in. ‘I’ve told you—I’m not going anywhere. I decide what treatment he has and who he sees.’
‘That’s fine.’ Bridgette looked at her sister. ‘You have every right to refuse what I’m offering. But I can’t stand aside any more. If you don’t accept my conditions…’ It was the hardest thing she would ever say and could only be said if it was meant. Whether he was serious or not, she was incredibly grateful for Dominic’s offer last night. ‘Then you can deal with it. I’ll move to Sydney.’
‘Bridgette!’ Her mum almost stood up. ‘You know you don’t mean that.’
‘But I do—because I can’t live like this. I can’t watch Harry being passed around like a parcel. So it’s either you accept my terms or I’m moving to Sydney.’
‘You said you’d always be there for me.’ Courtney started to cry, only this time it didn’t move Bridgette. ‘You promised…’
‘Well, that makes us both liars, then,’ Bridgette said. ‘Because I can remember you saying exactly the same to Harry the day he was born.’
‘Bridgette.’ Her mum was trying to be firm, to talk sense into her sensible daughter. ‘You know you’re not going anywhere. Why Sydney?’
‘I’ve met someone,’ Bridgette said. ‘And he’s from there.’ Betty had seen the happy couple, that were back as Bridgette’s screensaver, when she’d had a nose in her daughter’s spare room, had tutted at the two faces smiling back, and she had a terrible feeling her daughter might actually mean what she was saying.
‘You love Courtney…’ Maurice broke in.
‘I’m not sure if I do,’ Bridgette said, and she truly wasn’t sure that she did. ‘I honestly don’t know that I do.’
‘You love Harry.’ Betty triumphed.
‘Yes, I do. So if she wants my help then she can have it, but those are my conditions and she needs to know that any time I think Harry is at risk I will speak up.’ She walked out of the meeting because she had nothing left to say. It had to be up to Courtney. She walked over to the ward and saw Harry sitting in his cot, building his bricks. She let down the cot side and held out her arms. She had meant every word she had said in that room, had convinced herself of it last night, but there was a piece of her that was hidden apart, a piece of her that no one must ever see, because as she picked up her nephew and buried her face in his curls, she knew she could never leave him. They just had to believe that she might.
Dominic watched her cuddling Harry and he wanted to go over, to find out what was happening, but instead he picked up the phone.
It was the longest morning, even though he had plenty to do, but he could not get involved, or be seen to be getting involved, which surely she knew, but still he felt like a bastard.
‘Do you want me to give Harry his lunch?’ Jennifer, one of the nurses, offered. ‘You can go to the canteen, maybe have a little break?’
‘I’m fine,’ Bridgette said. ‘They’re still in the meeting. I’ll give him his lunch and then—’ she took a deep breath ‘—I’m going home.’
‘Jennifer!’ Dominic’s voice barked across the ward. ‘Can you hold on to Harry’s lunch for now, please, and keep him nil by mouth until I’ve spoken to his mum?’
‘What’s going on?’ Bridgette frowned.
‘I’ve no idea,’ Jennifer admitted. ‘Wait there and I’ll find out.’ And she went over and spoke to Dominic, but instead of coming back and informing Bridgette, Jennifer headed off to the conference room. The group was just coming out and it was clear that Courtney had been crying but, along with Jennifer, they all headed back inside.
‘What’s going on?’ She went up to him.
‘Someone’s coming down to speak to his mother.’
‘Dominic!’ She couldn’t believe he’d do this to her.
‘I’d go home now if I were you.’
‘You know I can’t.’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘You can.’ She looked at him, met those lovely black eyes and somehow she trusted him. ‘Go home,’ he said. ‘I’m sure you’ve got an awful lot to do.’ She just stood there. ‘Maybe tidy that bedroom, young lady.’
And she trusted him, she really did, but she knew he was leaving tomorrow, knew that right now he was saying goodbye.
‘Go,’ he said, ‘and when she calls, don’t come back.’ He gave her a small wink. ‘You only answer if it’s me.’
‘I can’t do that. I can’t just leave him.’
‘You can,’ he said. ‘I’m here.’
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
WHEN her phone rang fifteen minutes later, she was driving, just approaching the roundabout, and she didn’t pull over so she could take the call, as she usually would have. She didn’t indicate when she saw that it was Courtney and instead she drove straight on.
Dominic was there.
She felt as if Dominic was there in the car beside her.
It rang again and this time it was her mum. Still, she ignored it.
Then it rang again as she arrived home and she sat at her computer before answering.
‘Oh. Hi, Mum!’
‘You didn’t pick up.’
‘I was driving.’
‘Where are you?’ she asked. ‘I thought you’d gone down to the canteen.’
‘I’m at home,’ she said, as if she was breathing normally, as if home was the natural place she should be.
‘Well, you need to get here!’ Bridgette stared at her screensaver and tried to shut out the sound of her mother’s panic. ‘The doctors are here and they say Harry needs an operation. There’s a space that’s opened up on the list and they want him to have an operation!’ she said again really loudly.
‘What operation?’
‘He has to have surgery on his ears, and if she doesn’t sign the consent, he’ll go back on the list…’ She could hear the panic in her mother’s voice. ‘Bridgette, you need to get here. You know what your sister’s like—Courtney can’t make a decision. She’s gone off!’
‘It’s a tiny operation, Mum. It could do him an awful lot of good.’
‘Bridgette, please, they’ve added him to the list this evening. Courtney’s going crazy!’
‘Mum…’ Bridgette looked into Dominic’s eyes as she spoke, and then into her own and wanted to be her again, wanted to be the woman who smiled and laughed and lived. ‘It’s up to Courtney to give consent. If not, he can go on the waiting list and wait, but it would be a shame, because his hearing is really bad.’ She stood up. ‘I’ve got to go, Mum. I’ve got things to do. Give Harry a big kiss from his aunty Bridgette. Tell him that I’ll bring him in a nice present for being brave.’ And she rang off.
She took the phone into the bathroom with her and because she didn’t have any bubble bath, she used shampoo, put on a load of washing while she was waiting for the bath to fill and every time the phone rang, she did not pick up.
And then she did her hair, straightened it and put on blusher and lipstick too, even though she knew Dominic was on call and wouldn’t be coming round. Then when her phone finally fell silent, she tackled her bedroom, worked out how to use a stud finder and put up the shelves that had been sitting in cardboard for way too long. Then the phone bleeped a text and it was from Dominic.
She took a breath and read it.
Op went well—he’s back on ward and having a drink. Home tomoz.
She felt the tension seep out of her.
Should I come in now?
She was quite sure what the response would be, that he’d tell her to stay put, that Courtney was there and to let her deal with it, but as she waited for his reply, there was a knock at the door and when her phone bleeped he didn’t say what she’d thought he might.
No, stay put—your mum’s with him.
She wanted to know what was happening so badly. She had this stupid vision it was him as, phone in hand, she opened the door.
Instead it was her father and Courtney.
