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JESS
It was sunset at the Cross-K ranch. Four or five cowboys were gloomily about outside the adobe ranch house, awaiting supper. The Mexican cook had just begun his fragrant task, so a half hour would elapse before these Arabs were fed. Their ponies were “turned” into the wire pasture, their big Colorado saddles reposed astride the low pole fence which surrounded the house, and it was evident their riding was over for the day.
Why were they gloomy? Not a boy of them could tell. They had been partners and campaneros, and “worked” the Cross-K cattle together for months, and nothing had come in misunderstanding or cloud. The ranch house was their home, and theirs had been the unity of brothers.
The week before, a pretty girl – the daughter she was of a statesman of national repute – had come to the ranch from the East. Her name was Jess.
Jess, the pretty girl, was protected in this venture by an old and gnarled aunt, watchful as a ferret, sour as a lime. Not that Jess, the pretty girl, needed watching; she was, indeed! propriety’s climax.
No soft nor dulcet reason wooed Jess, the pretty girl, to the West; she came on no love errand. The visitor was elegantly tired of the East, that was all; and longed for western air and western panorama.
Jess, the pretty girl, had been at the Cross-K ranch a week, and the boys had met her, everyone. The meeting or meetings were marked by awkwardness as to the boys, indifference as to Jess, the pretty girl. She encountered them as she did the ponies, cows, horned-toads and other animals, domestic and fero naturo, indigenous to eastern Arizona. While every cowboy was blushingly conscious of Jess, the pretty girl, she was serenely guiltless of giving him a thought.
Before Jess, the pretty girl, arrived, the cowboys were friends and the tenor of their calm relations was rippleless as a mirror. Jess was not there a day, before each drew himself insensibly from the others, while a vague hostility shone dimly in his eyes. It was the instinct of the fighting male animal aroused by the presence of Jess, the pretty girl. Jess, however, proceeded on her dainty way, sweetly ignorant of the sentiments she awakened.
Men are mere animals. Women are, too, for that matter. But the latter are different animals from men. The effort the race makes to be other, better or different than the mere animal fails under pressure. It always failed; it will always fail. Civilisation is the veriest veneer and famously thin. A year on the plains cracks this veneer – this shell – and the animal issues visibly forth. This shell-cracking comes by the expanding growth of all that is animalish in man – attributes of the physical being, fed and pampered by a plains’ existence.
To recur to the boys of the Cross-K. The dark, vague, impalpable differences which cut off each of these creatures from his fellows, and inspired him with an unreasoning hate, had flourished with the brief week of their existence. A philosopher would have looked for near trouble on the Cross-K.
“Whatever did you take my saddle for, Bill?” said Jack Cook to one Bill Watkins.
“Which I allows I’ll ride it some,” replied Watkins; “thought it might like to pack a sure-’nough long-horn jest once for luck!”
“Well, don’t maverick it no more,” retorted Cook, moodily, and ignoring the gay insolence of the other. “Leastwise, don’t come a-takin’ of it, an’ sayin’ nothin’. You can palaver Americano, can’t you? When you aims to ride my saddle ag’in, ask for it; if you can’t talk, make signs, an’ if you can’t make signs, shake a bush; but don’t go romancin’ off in silence with no saddle of mine no more.”
“Whatever do you reckon is liable to happen if I pulls it ag’in to-morry?” inquired Bill in high scorn.
Watkins was of a more vivacious temper than the gloomy Cook.
“Which if you takes it ag’in, I’ll shorely come among you a whole lot. An’ some prompt!” replied Cook, in a tone of obstinate injury.
These boys were brothers before Jess, the pretty girl, appeared. Either would have gone afoot all day for the other. Going afoot, too, is the last thing a cowboy will consent to.
“Don’t you-all fail to come among me none,” said Bill with cheerful ferocity, “on account of it’s bein’ me. I crosses the trail of a hold-up like you over in the Panhandle once, an’ makes him dance, an’ has a chuck-waggon full of fun with him.”
“Stop your millin’ now, right yere!” said Tom Rawlins, the Cross-K range boss, who was sitting close at hand. “You-alls spring trouble ‘round yere, an’ you can gamble I’ll be in it! Whatever’s the matter with you-alls anyway? Looks like you’ve been as locoed as a passel of sore-head dogs for more’n a week now. Which you’re shorely too many for me, an’ I plumb gives you up!” And Rawlins shook his sage head foggily.
The boys started some grumbling reply, but the cook called them to supper just then, and, one animalism becoming overshadowed by another, they forgot their rancour in thoughts of supplying their hunger. Towards the last of the repast, Rawlins arose, and going to another room, began overlooking some entries in the ranch books.
Jess, the pretty girl, did not sit at the ranch table. She had small banquets in her own room. Just then she was heard singing some tender little song that seemed born of a sigh and a tear. The boys’ resentment of each other began again to burn in their eyes. None of these savages was in the least degree in love with Jess, the pretty girl.
The singing went on in a cooing, soft way that did not bring you the words; only the music.
“What I says about my saddle a while back, goes as it lays!” said Jack Cook.
The song had ceased.
As Cook spoke he turned a dark look on Watkins.
“See yere!” replied Watkins in an exasperated tone – he was as vicious as Cook – “if you’re p’intin’ out for a war-jig with me, don’t go stampin’ ‘round none for reasons. Let her roll! Come a-runnin’ an’ don’t pester none with ceremony.”
“Which a gent don’t have to have no reason for crawlin’ you!” said Cook. “Anyone’s licenced to chase you ‘round jest for exercise!”
“You can gamble,” said Watkins, confidently, “any party as chases me ‘round much, will regyard it as a thrillin’ pastime. Which it won’t grow on him none as a habit.”
“As you-all seem to feel that a-way,” said the darkly wrathful Cook, “I’ll sorter step out an’ shoot with you right now!”
“An’ I’ll shorely go you!” said Watkins.
They arose and walked to the door. It was gathering dark, but it was light enough to shoot by. The other cowboys followed in a kind of savage silence. Not one word was said in comment or objection. They were grave, but passive like Indians. It is not good form to interfere with other people’s affairs in Arizona.
Jess, the pretty girl, began singing again. The strains fell softly on the ears of the cowboys. Each, as he listened, whether onlooker or principal, felt a licking, pleased anticipation of the blood to be soon set flowing.
Nothing was said of distance. Cook and Watkins separated to twenty paces and turned to face each other. Each wore his six-shooter, the loose pistol belt letting it rest low on his hip. Each threw down his big hat and stood at apparent ease, with his thumbs caught in his belt.
“Shall you give the word, or me?” asked Cook.
“You says when!” retorted Watkins. “It’ll be a funny passage in American history if you-all gets your gun to the front any sooner than I do.”
“Be you ready?” asked Cook.
“Which I’m shorely ready!”
“Then, go!”
“Bang! Bang!! Bang!!!” went both pistols together.
The reports came with a rapidity not to be counted. Cook got a crease in the face – a mere wound of the flesh. Watkins blundered forward with a bullet in his side.
Rawlins ran out. His experience taught him all at a look. Hastily examining Cook, he discovered that his hurt was nothing serious. The others carried Watkins into the house.
“Take my pony saddled at the fence, Jack,” said Rawlins, “an’ pull your freight. This yere Watkins is goin’ to die. You’ve planted him.”
“Which I shorely hopes I has!” said Cook, with bitter cheerfulness. “I ain’t got no use for cattle of his brand; none whatever!”
Cook took Rawlins’s pony. When he paused, the pony hung his head while his flanks steamed and quivered. And no marvel! That pony was one hundred miles from the last corn, as he cooled his nervous muzzle in the Rio San Simon.
“Some deviltry about their saddles, Miss; that’s all!” reported Rawlins to Jess, the pretty girl.
“Isn’t it horrible!” shuddered Jess, the pretty girl.
The next morning Jess and the gnarled aunt paid the injured Watkins a visit. This civility affected the other three cowboys invidiously. They at once departed to a line of Cross-K camps in the Northwest. This on a pretence of working cattle over on the Cochise Mesa. They looked black enough as they galloped away.
“Which it’s shore a sin Jack Cook ain’t no better pistol shot!” observed one, as the acrid picture of Jess, the pretty girl, sympathising above the wounded Watkins, arose before him.
“That’s whatever!” assented the others.
Then, in moods of grim hatefulness, they bled their tired ponies with the spur by way of emphasis.
THE HUMMING BIRD
(Annals of The Bend)
NIT; I’m in a hurry to chase meself to-night,” quoth Chucky, having first, however, taken his drink. “I’d like to stay an’ chin wit’ youse, but I can’t. D’ fact is I’ve got company over be me joint; he’s a dead good fr’end of mine, see! Leastwise he has been; an’ more’n onct, when I’m in d’ hole, he’s reached me his mit an’ pulled me out. Now he’s down on his luck I’m goin’ to make good, an’ for an even break on past favours, see if I can’t straighten up his game.”
“Who is your friend?” I asked. “Does he live here?”
“Naw,” retorted Chucky; “he’s a crook, an’ don’t live nowhere. His name’s Mollie Matches, an ‘d’ day was when Mollie’s d’ flyest fine-woiker on Byrnes’s books. An’ say! that ain’t no fake neither.”
“What did he do?” I inquired.
“Leathers, supers an’ rocks,” replied Chucky. “Of course, d’ supers has to be yellow; d’ w’ite kind don’t pay; an’ d’ rocks has to be d’ real t’ing. In d’ old day, Mollie was d’ king of d’ dips, for fair! Of all d’ crooks he was d’ nob, an’ many’s d’ time I’ve seen him come into d’ Gran’ Central wit’ his t’ree stalls an’ a Sheeny kid to carry d’ swag, an’ all as swell a mob as ever does time.
“But he’s fell be d’ wayside now, an’ don’t youse forget it! Not only is he broke for dough, but his healt’ is busted, too.”
“That’s one of the strange things to me, Chucky,” I said, for I was disposed to detain him if I could, and hear a bit more of his devious friend; “one of the very strange things! Here’s your friend Mollie, who has done nothing, so you say, but steal watches, diamonds and pocket-books all his life, and yet to-day he is without a dollar.”
“Oh! as for that,” returned Chucky wisely, “a crook don’t make so much. In d’ foist place, if he’s nippin’ leathers, nine out of ten of ‘em’s bound to be readers – no long green in ‘em at all; nothin’ but poi-pers, see! An’ if he’s pinchin’ tickers an’ sparks, a fence won’t pay more’n a fort’ what dey’s wort’ – an’ there you be, see! Then ag’in, it costs a hundred plunks a day to keep a mob on d’ road; an’ what wit’ puttin’ up to d’ p’lice for protection, an’ what wit’ squarin’ a con or brakey if youse are graftin’ on a train, there ain’t, after his stalls has their bits, much left for Mollie. Takin’ it over all, Mollie’s dead lucky to get a hundred out of a t’ousand plunks; an’ yet he’s d’ mug who has to put his hooks on d’ stuff every time; do d’ woik an’ take d’ chances, see!
“But I’ll tip it off to youse,” continued Chucky, at the same time lowering his tone confidentially; “I’ll put you on to what knocks Mollie’s eye out just now. He’s only a week ago toined out of one of de western pens, an’ I reckon he was bad wit’ ‘em at d’ finish – givin’ ‘em a racket. Anyhow, dey confers on Mollie d’ Hummin’ Boid, an dey overplays. Mollie’s gettin’ old, and can’t stand for what he could onct; an’, as I says, these prison marks gives him too much of ‘d Hummin’ Boid and it breaks his noive.
“Sure! Mollie’s now what youse call hyster’cal; got bats in his steeple half d’ time. If it wasn’t for d’ hop I shoots into him wit’ a dandy little hypodermic gun me Rag’s got, he’d be in d’ booby house. An’ all for too much Hummin’ Boid! Say! on d’ level! there ought to be a law ag’inst it.”
“What in heaven’s name is the Humming Bird?” I queried.
“It’s d’ prison punishment,” replied Chucky. “Youse see, every pen has its punishment. In some, it’s d’ paddles, an’ some ag’in don’t do a t’ing but hang a guy up be a pair of handcuffs to his cell door so his toes just scrapes d’ floor. In others dey starves you; an’ in others still, dey slams you in d’ dark hole.
“Say! if youse are out to make some poor mark nutty for fair, just give him d’ dark hole for a week. There he is wit’ nothin’ in d’ cell but himself, see! an* all as black as ink. Mebby if d’ guards is out to keep him movin’, dey toins d’ hose in an’ wets down d’ floor before dey leaves him. But honest to God! youse put a poor sucker in d’ dark hole, an’ be d’ end of ten hours it’s apples to ashes he ain’t onto it whether he’s been in a day or a week. Keep him there a week, an’ away goes his cupolo – he ain’t onto nothin’. On d’ square! at d’ end of a week in d’ dark, a mut don’t know lie’s livin’.
“D’ cat-o’nine-tails, which dey has at Jeff City, ain’t a marker to d’ dark hole! D’ cat’ll crack d’ skin all right, all right, but d’ dark hole cracks a sucker’s nut, see! His cocoa never is on straight ag’in, after he’s done a stunt or two in d’ dark hole.”
“But the Humming Bird?” I persisted. “What is it like?”
“Why! as I relates,” retorted Chucky, “d’ Hummin Boid is what dey does to a guy in d’ pen where Mollie was to teach him not to be too gay. It’s like this: Here’s a gezebo doin’ time, see! Well, he gets funny. Mebby he soaks some other pris’ner; or mebby he toins loose and gives it to some guard in d’ neck; or mebby ag’in he kicks on d’ lock-step. I’ve seen a heap of mugs who does d’ last.
“Anyhow, whatever he does, it gets to be a case of Hummin’ Boid, an’ dey brings me gay scrapper or kicker, whichever he is, out for punishment. An’ this is what he gets ag’inst:
“Dey sets him in a high trough, same as dey waters a horse wit’, see! Foist dey shucks d’ mark – peels off his make-up down to d’ buff. An’ then dey sets him in d’ trough, like I says, wit’ mebby its eight inches of water in it.
“Then he’s strapped be d’ ankles, an’ d’ fins, and about his waist, so he can’t do nothin’ but stay where he is. A sawbones gets him be d’ pulse, an’ one of them ‘lectrical stiffs t’rows a wire, which is one end of d’ battery, in d’ water. D’ wire, which is d’ other end, finishes in a wet sponge. An’ say! hully hell! when dey touches a poor mark wit’ d’ sponge end on d’ shoulder, or mebby d’ elbow, it completes d’ circuit, see! an’ it’ll fetch such a glory hallelujah yelp out of him as would bring a deef an’ dumb asylum into d’ front yard to find out what d’ row’s about.
“It’s d’ same t’ing as d’ chair at Sing Sing, only not so warm. It’s enough, though, to make d’ toughest mug t’row a fit. No one stands for a secont trip; one touch of d’ Hummin’ Boid! an’ a duck’ll welch on anyt’ing you says – do anyt’ing, be anyt’ing; only so youse let up and don’t give him no more. D’ mere name of Hummin’ Boid’s good enough to t’run a scare into d’ hardest an’ d’ woist of ‘em, onct dey’s had a piece.
“As I says about Mollie: it seems them Indians gives him d’ Hummin’ Boid; an’ dey gives him d’ gaff too deep. But I’ve got to chase meself now, and pump some dope into him. I ought to land Mollie right side up in a week. An’ then I’ll bring him over to this boozin’ ken of ours, an’ cap youse a knock-down to him. Ta! ta!”
GASSY THOMPSON, VILLAIN
WESTERN humour is being severely spoken of by the close personal friends of Peter Dean. Less than a year ago, Peter Dean left the paternal roof on Madison Avenue and plunged into the glowing West. On the day of his departure he was twenty-three; not a ripe age. He had studied mining and engineering, and knew in those matters all that science could tell. His purpose in going West was to acquire the practical part of his chosen profession. Peter Dean believed in knowing it all; knowing it with the hands as well as with the head.
Thus it befell that young Peter Dean, on a day to be remembered, tossed a careless kiss to his companions and fled away into the heart of the continent. Then his hair was raven black. Months later, when he returned, it was silver white. Western humour had worked the change; therefore the criticism chronicled. Peter Dean tells the following story of the bleaching:
“At Creede I met a person named Thompson; ‘Gassy’ Thompson he was called by those about him, in testimony to his powers as a conversationist. A barkeeper, who seemed the best-informed and most gentlemanly soul in town, told me that Gassy Thompson was a miner full of practical skill, and that he was then engaged in sinking a shaft. I might arrange with Gassy and learn the business. At the barkeeper’s hint, I proposed as much to Gassy Thompson.
“‘All right!’ said Gassy; ‘come out to the shaft to-morrow.’
“The next day I was at the place appointed. The shaft was already fifty feet deep. Besides myself and this person, Gassy, who was to tutor me, there was a creature named Jim. This made three of us.
“At the suggestion of Gassy, he and I descended into the shaft; Jim was left on the surface. We went down by means of a bucket, Jim unwinding us from a rickety old windlass.
“Once down, Gassy and I, with sledge and drill, perpetrated a hole in the bottom of the shaft. I held the drill, Gassy wielding the sledge. When the hole met the worshipful taste of my tutor, he put in a dynamite cartridge, connected a long, five-minute fuse therewith, and carefully thumbed it about and packed it in with wet clay.
“At Gassy’s word, I was then hauled up from the shaft by Jim. I added my strength to the windlass, Gassy climbed into the bucket, lighted the fuse, and was then swiftly wound to the surface by Jim and myself. We then dragged the windlass aside, covered the mouth of the shaft, and quickly scampered to a distance, to be out of harm’s reach.
“At the end of five minutes from the time that Gassy lighted the fuse, and perhaps three minutes after we had cleared away, the shot exploded with a deafening report. Tons of rock were shot up from the mouth of the shaft, full fifty feet in the air. It was all very impressive, and gave me a lesson in the tremendous power of dynamite. I was much pleased, and felt as if I were learning.
“Following the explosion Gassy and I again repaired to the bottom of the shaft. After clearing away the débris and sending it up and out by the bucket, we resumed the sledge and drill. We completed another hole and were ready for a second shot. This was about noon.
“It was at this point that the miscreant, Gassy, began to put into action a plot he had formed against me, and to carry out which the murderer, Jim, lent ready aid. You must remember that I had perfect confidence in these two villains.
“‘I never seed no tenderfoot go along like you do at this business,’ said Gassy Thompson to me.
“This was flattery. The miscreant was fattening me for the sacrifice.
“‘Looks like you was born to be a miner,’ he went on. ‘Now, I’m goin’ to let you fire the next shot. Usual, I wouldn’t feel jestified in allowin’ a tenderfoot to fire a shot for plumb three months. But you has a genius for minin’; it comes as easy to you as robbin’ a bird’s nest. I’d be doin’ wrong to hold you back.’
“Of course, I naturally felt pleased. To be allowed to fire a dynamite shot on my first day in the shaft I felt and knew to be an honour. I determined to write home to my friends of this triumph.
“Gassy said he’d put in the shot, and he selected one of giant size. I saw the herculean explosive placed in the hole; then he attached the fuse and thumbed the clay about it as before. He gave me a few last words.
“‘After I gets up,’ he said, ‘an’ me an’ Jim’s all ready, you climb into the bucket an’ light the fuse. Then raise the long yell to me an’ Jim, an’ we’ll yank ye out. But be shore an’ light the fuse. There’s nothin’ more discouragin’ than for to wait half an* hour outside an’ no cartridge goin’ off. Especial when it goes off after you comes back to see what’s the matter with her. So be shore an’ light the fuse, an’ then Jim an’ me’ll run you up the second follerin’. This oughter be a great day for you, young man! firin’ a shot this away, the first six hours you’re a miner!’
“Jim and Gassy were at the windlass and yelled:
“‘All ready below?’
“I was in the bucket and at the word scratched a match and lit the fuse. It sputtered with alarming ardour, and threw off a shower of sparks.
“‘Hoist away!’ I called.
“The villains ran me up about twenty-five feet, and came to a dead halt. At this they seemed to get into an altercation. They both abandoned the windlass, and I could hear them cursing, threatening, and shooting; presumably at each other.
“‘I’ll blow your heart out!’ I heard Gassy say.
“My alarm was without a limit. I’d seen one dynamite cartridge go off. Here I was, swinging some twenty-five feet over a still heavier charge, and about to be blown into eternity! Meanwhile the caitiffs, on whom my life depended, were sacrificing me to settle some accursed feud of their own.
“I cannot tell you of my agony. The fuse was spitting fire like forty fiends; the narrow shaft was choked with smoke. I swung helpless, awaiting death, while the two monsters, Gassy and Jim, were trying to murder each other above. Either from the smoke or the excitement, I fainted.
“When I came to myself I was outside the shaft, safe and sound, while Gassy and his disreputable assistant were laughing at their joke. There had been no shot placed in the drill-hole; the heartless Gassy had palmed it and carried it with him to the surface.
“At my very natural inquiry, made in a weak voice – for I was still sick and broken – as to what it all meant, they said it was merely a Colorado jest, and intended for the initiation of a tenderfoot.
“‘It gives ‘em nerve!’ said Gassy; ‘it puts heart into ‘em an’ does ‘em good!’
“As soon as I could walk I severed my relations with Gassy Thompson and his outlaw adherent, Jim. The next morning my hair had turned the milky sort you see. The Creede people with whom I discussed the crime, laughed and said the drinks were on me. That was all the sympathy, all the redress, I got.
“After that I came East without delay. When I leave the city of New York again it will not be for Creede. Nor will my next mining connection be formed with such abandoned barbarians as Gassy Thompson and Jim.”
