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17

Gershon paused. I realized that it was useless to argue. He had already changed into ragged trousers and a sleeveless shirt: although Lenin used him as his servant, he kept a tight rein on him.

– What are you doing with a knife?”

“I’m sharpening my pencils.”. .

– Great works are written with a quill pen. Listen, Gershon, have you met Inessa in Paris? At a rally, she made a speech and said my name, referring to my great works, including “What should I do?” Maybe she bought this book and wants to meet me, you don’t know. I caught a glimpse of her once.

“I haven’t seen it anywhere, though I’ve searched day and night,” Gershon lied shamelessly.

“Well, then, go to Paris, grab her hand, and say: the leader of the world proletariat orders you to appear naked before him this minute,” said Ilyich, and rolled his eyes.

And when the chief rolled his eyes, Gershon knew it was useless to argue. He threw on a robe, grabbed an armful of sharpened pencils from a Desk drawer, put them in an inner pocket, and ran out into the street.

“Shalom, Ilyich,” he said on the way, noticing that Ilyich was mincing along behind him.

“Um, tramps, a party of tramps. Well done, “Lenin shouted, catching up with Gershon,” we’ve already managed something, but not quite, because pop Gapon intervened, “down with Popov!

“Pop Gapon went out on your assignment,” Apfelbaum said at once.

“What?” How dare you object, Apfelbaum? Out! get out, you damned Jew.

– You’re a Jew yourself… Kalmyk, said the response in the hearts of, but immediately fell on his knees and began to kiss in a bunt.

Lenin smoothed his paces, which meant that Gershon was forgiven.

– You call me Yankel from the Urals. Katznelson to me and urgently. He works wonders there, following my instructions. I’m not just sitting here. From tramps I have reached the real party, the party of terrorists, – Lenin began to brag. We fundamentally disagreed with the Polish Jew by Majewski, who openly encouraged terrorism, but I still secretly. Conspiracy and more conspiracy. What does this mean? This means that if our man, a member of our party, is a terrorist in the underground, then he must not know anything. He is given the task of throwing a bomb at the Minister, he must throw it and hide like a mouse in a hole. But I’m thinking of improving this issue. You listen, don’t close your eyes, Zinoviev – Apfelbaum. What, the bitch was up all night, right? What a revolutionary.

– O great one, o wise one… I’m on my way to pick up Inessa.

“That’s different. Revolution is a whole science. Do you understand, Gershon? Makhaevsky considered militant hooligans, tramps, and lumpens to be the driving force and healthy element of the labor movement, bringing a living stream of “common proletarian sense” into the working environment. Here I agree with him, and then no, then we parted. Majewski… he’s nobody now, and I’m the head of the Bolshevik party. Apfelbaum vaguely guessed that the future revolution would belong to the tramps and lumpens, those who are in prison for murder, rape, and its success depended “only on one of his “arrogant” demands, on one of his “boorish” insatiability.”

– And what did the great Yankel do in the Urals, share. And then, I don’t know where to go, to the Urals to this lousy Jew, or to Paris for a beautiful lady? Have you got your brain in place? It doesn’t look like it.

“Gershon, great people have their moments. Don’t pay attention, how much do I have to tell you? Go and get Inessa, and then go to the Urals for Yankel.

“Have mercy and save me!” I can’t stand all this, and then where can I get the money for the trip? You’re still clinging. It’s got to the point where I wear ragged shoes.

– Well, if your mother sends you her pension, I’ll give it to you for Slippers, so be it.

Gershon wept. He wanted to say something else, but the words came out as” later, later, later.”

“Later, later, wait, I don’t care about your tears. About Yankel later. He does wonders there. Yankel follows my advice about attracting everyone to the Bolshevik party without exception: artisans, paupers, beggars, servants, tramps, prostitutes, and ex-cons. And there are results. This is the motto of the future coup, mind you. All democratic principles must be exclusively subordinated to the benefits of our party, including the integrity of the individual. The support and Foundation of our party remain, and will continue to be, the lumpen proletarians, criminals, and tramps. Based on the experience of numerous Russian Zionist sects, we must build the party structure on strict dictatorial principles of absolute subordination. Those who disagree with these methods within the party are subjected to fraud, slander, and slander…destruction.

Apfelbaum lost his composure and sense of proportion this time.

– You’re stubborn and cruel, “he said,” and you can’t stand other people’s opinions about anything, and not just in politics. You are envious to the point of frenzy, you can’t let anyone but you remain the winner. The cruel and evil comes out in you – like in a dispute, like in a game of croquet or chess, when you lose. To be independent, to argue with you about anything, or to beat you at croquet, is to make an enemy of yourself once and for all… Lenin’s face.

“Ha-ha-ha, it’s true. Damn it: not in the eye, but in the eye. These are traits of genius, Gershon, mind You…next, just listen: in Orthodoxy we see a huge competitor in the fight for the souls of people. Any religious idea of any God, any flirtation with God, is an unspeakable abomination… the most dangerous abomination, the most vile infection. I’m going to write a book on religion and the Church. As early as 1901 I stated: “As a matter of principle, we have never renounced and cannot renounce terror.” Based on these two principles, it is necessary to start building the Bolshevik party. Oh, I forgot. Church… we will demolish it from the face of the earth, and hang the priests, dig up the graves, collect the silver and gold and send it to the European proletariat…Jewish nationality.

– My head is splitting, let me go.” I’m already late for my train.

“And Yankel Katznelson?” Don’t you want to hear a good review?

“Later, later.

Ilyich once again recalled his party structure and Katznelson’s successes in the Urals.

They, two Jews, were sitting in a clearing under a Swiss oak tree, eating ikura and drinking beer, when Lenin raised his finger and said:

– You, Gershon, go back and finish the Chapter, Paris is not far away, I will go alone.” In any newspaper I’ll advertise “Communism-society of free sexual relations”. I will give this lecture myself. Inessa will come, of course. She can’t not come. In the last letter, which is already the third on the bill, she expressed a desire to meet and that’s where the acquaintance will take place.

18

On the outskirts of Paris, it was not difficult to rent a small public dining room and quickly turn it into a hall for listeners. A rostrum was erected, a vase of flowers was placed on an uncovered table, and the leader of the world proletariat, still little known to Parisians, was already sitting at this table, reviewing a lecture he had written a week ago. Like any work of Lenin, it turned out to be chaotic and little accessible. Therefore, we apologize to readers for its non-existent charms with hooked bends, which contributed to the urge to sleep, and some were excited and made to believe in the genius of the lecturer.

“A socialist society, Archie, will be freed from bourgeois marriage. Well, the one that requires a Church wedding, and the Church is a sham, you know. The society of free proletarians and other protestors held behind bars on the instructions of the Tsar can copulate without registration. Girls who have reached the age of 16, who have a down there, in a forbidden place, are required to bare themselves indoors and on the street, if there is no severe frost. They should not deny two-legged stallions copulation, especially if they see that the penis is ready, in a socialist need, bursting his pants. This is the order of the Bolshevik party.

It is important that the socialist penis should be in revolutionary readiness, that it should be as firm as a socialist bayonet. A woman can squeal with pleasure or accept a penis in silence. You know, under socialism, society will be free.

– And if the penis is infected with syphilis? – what is it? “asked a lady with a cigar in her mouth.

“He, a man with a socialist penis, is allowed to find a woman who is also infected with syphilis,” the speaker replied. – Go on. Of course, there will be illegitimate children, and no one will be able to determine who is whose father. Such a father can be the leader of the world proletariat, that is, of course, me. I beg to love and favor. Before you is not a dog, but the future leader of the world proletariat. We need a society without fathers, or rather with one father. You can call this society simply-a society without fathers. The proletariat of the whole world will support such an undertaking. I already have many supporters in Russia.

The audience, wiser, and some more ugly, began to whisper, raise their fifth points, then move into one line. The speaker stood bravely with his hand behind his waistcoat. And for good reason. Behind the first column was a mysterious woman in a hat, a smart coat, with a collar around her neck —close. She rarely peeked out from behind the column and blinked. Does She?

“Yes,” said Inessa, and again she hid behind the column, running magnetic lines in the direction of the genius speaker.

The speaker jumped up and down, intending to free the proletarian from the column in which the capitalist was hiding, but sat down again in deep thought. Putting his chin on his open palm, and turning on all his proletarian forces, he continued:

– Then take a closer look.” You can put your hand in my stomach area, under the brook and feel if there is something there, sing “we will boldly go into battle”…And if there is a proletarian void, you can say: a respite, we must wait a little, because it is arch important.

Lenin’s cheeks flushed, and he did not know what to do with his right hand, thrusting it now into his waistcoat, now unbuttoning his shirt.

Inessa, like a true revolutionary who approves of celibacy, approached the speaker and fixed her eyes on the spot where the legs grow.

– I can’t see anything, but let’s take our time. I just bought your book for 10 francs called” What to do?” Mud, of course, but what to do? Let’s connect. Or are you against it?. I am a hot and passionate woman. In addition, I have muscles there, like pieces of rubber on the wheels of a chaise. As I close my eyes to my forehead, despite the fact that I am a mother of five children.

– In the name of the world revolution, get naked. We need to make sure.

“Are you circumcised?”

– No. unfortunately..

– Then that’s good. But let’s not rush it. Collect all your notes and let’s go to my place, I live alone, I have great conditions. You’ve never had such a high before. Lower your pants, I need to see him.

Lenin obeyed. By this time, his friend was ready for a revolutionary battle.

– Beautiful! just be patient, why are you flinching like that? Well, if you can’t wait…

– Rather. In the name of the world revolution. This is very important.

Like any woman, Inessa decided to torment her future lover a little.

– I don’t think so, and he’s already hooked.” At my house – as much as you want. You need to take a shower, drink a glass of wine, take off your clothes, play around, cuddle, including mashing your handsome man, so that he begins to vomit. For her sake, this head with a hat, women go to all sorts of unpredictable torments. I have an abortion, I have a hard time giving birth, and I have a hard time raising children, especially those who don’t know who their father is.

Lenin, as a future genius, heard a lot of stories, theories and proofs, always objected, but what Inessa said, he heard for the first time, and could not object to anything. I couldn’t speak. As soon as the banana lifted, the tongue immediately went numb and did not obey. This beautiful woman said things that made him shiver all the time, and all the time he was going to throw her on the floor with his fist, and pull up her skirt so that he could see the blazing fire for himself. – Come on, strike the iron while it’s hot.

19

Inessa’s apartment was not very spacious, but very cozy, with a bath, a bidet, carpets on the floor, a wide bed and a shower. Inessa found herself in a thin short robe, buttoned up with one button, began to set the table, and the leader was immediately sent to the bathroom to wash, because he smelled very strongly of either revolution or horse sweat. She gave him a robe, and when he came out of the bathroom, she immediately grabbed a sausage.

“Oh, I’ll eat it so no one else gets it.” I’m a jealous bitch.

Lenin liked this word so much that he immediately began to wheeze:

– In the name of the world revolution.

– Sit down at the table, stud.

She hurried to the bathroom herself. Then they drank wine. Then Inessa began to drill the eyes of the hen, then slipped her hand under the robe and was indescribably delighted with the sausage, which reached the point of exhaustion.

– I can’t wait any longer, come on, let’s try our patience.” When you take power in Russia, you will give me a Palace for this patience.

“Oh, ten palaces. Half of Tverskaya street is yours. Prostitutes gather there, and my Politburo will be able to visit this street on Saturdays if they don’t give it my name.

By the bed, she took off his robe, and he didn’t look very well: crooked, stooped, this is from the seat, and the neck is wrinkled, this is from constant thoughts about the fate of humanity, and only the friend in all respects corresponded to Inessa’s ideas of manhood. He didn’t use it, poor boy. I didn’t make any women happy. It’s from the horse’s face. Her thoughts flew in and out of her head, but she couldn’t help it.

she decided that it was like death to delay, gathered all her strength together and pushed him in the chest, and he fell on his back and groaned.

– I’ll have a little fun, it’s an incredible high for a woman, then … let him stay in the sweet cave.” God gave us all this. This is higher than gold, money, power, if people know how to use it…

 
                                       * * *
 

Inessa is an unusual woman, she has an unusual fate. Tragic fate. We put this fate in a remote corner, Packed it in an iron box and locked it. And all this in order to show that this scoundrel, whose hands are covered with blood, is not an earthly man, but an angel, a Saint, outside of earthly existence, outside of human society. She, Inessa, was an angel compared to him, even though she had two husbands and five children. The executioner already had a depraved nature. He was the one who put her off, he was the one who killed her, and then he drooled and pretended to suffer. We’ll get back to Inessa.

20

Lenin did not immediately believe Parvus when He reported that the Scam in Berlin had succeeded. After all, before the arrival of Parvus, negotiations with the Germans were difficult and slow.

The highest ranks in Germany did not accept Lenin to listen to him and suspected him of being a simple scoundrel who, having received a large sum, would disappear in an unknown direction. And Parvus made them believe in an adventure and allocate a huge amount to pass through their territory to commit a coup in the country of the enemy. I had to turn on intelligence and contact America. The American Jewish lobby was already powerful and welcomed the prospect of Russia’s ruin with enthusiasm. This played a crucial role in approving the German plan to completely eliminate this state. And then the February revolution broke out.

As soon as Lenin found out that the country’s leadership was actually allocating money for the coup in Russia from their superiors, where he was paid as a spy, something incredible happened to him: he lost peace and sleep. At night, his brain gave out numerous options for moving to Russia, if the Germans refused to let him and his co-religionists in the number of 32 people through their territory. One night, at about three o’clock in the morning, he had the idea to cross to Russia by airplane.

– Yes, Yes, that is the method to use. Is there enough money in the party ticket office to rent an airplane and pay the pilot? Um, hell, maybe we need a million, but we don’t have more than five hundred thousand. Nadia should know. Nadia, where are you, my dear? Hmmm, you’re sleeping, damn you. No city will bear your name. Fishberg won’t be in Russia, won’t be on the map, that’s all.

Lenin jumped out of bed, dragging the blanket to the floor with him, and rushed to the back room where Mrs. Fishberg usually slept. She was lying on her left side, snoring mercilessly. Saliva oozed from his mouth onto the pillow, forming an elongated spot ten centimeters long.

In the name of the world revolution, get up, krga old, began to shake it. But Nadia, raising her head and rolling her eyes, immediately turned over on the other side, and began snoring even harder.

Cow, neither to milk, nor to water, but to judge… a revolutionary court, it should be, said the future leader, and went to Inessa.

Inessa was also sleeping on her side, her hands clasped together between her knees, and she was snoring faintly. Ilyich sat down and began to stroke her rosy cheek with his hand. She reacted, opened her eyes, smiled sleepily, and grabbed his arm she pulled on her hand. The lover was obstinate, the thought of the strawberry was too far away, and he said as softly and tenderly as he could:

We need an airplane…for the flight to Russia, they are waiting for us there. History awaits us. Do you know where to get that damn airplane? And … and, do you have any money? help me out, huh? As soon as the Bolsheviks take power led by Lenin, that is, with me, I will return you two hundred percent.

How much do you need? Inessa smiled. And what nonsense about an airplane, you don’t have a passport.

Passport? Do I need a passport? No way without it? And I don’t know the language, Hm, damn it. Where were you before, why didn’t you tell me? What are you here for, let me ask you? However, for now, go to sleep. I can’t sleep, what night? Maybe on foot, maybe on horseback…

Inessa listened, her sleep was already disturbed, she began to think that Volodya was probably not all right with his head, but the thought that he was a great man, and a great man is famous for quirks, calmed her and she turned on her side.

In the morning, a newspaper was brought in which the leader read that the Russian Tsar had abdicated. Russia seemed to be swaying towards the abyss, towards the beginning of the world revolution, and Lenin could not find a place for himself… from the proletarian joy. “Russia is just the beginning,” he thought, getting excited, “and then Poland, then Germany, then France, and I am the Secretary General of Europe. And…and I don’t need anything else. Even Inessa, we need to dump her somewhere. And there America is a continent. Oh, it’s all started and then it’s over. Life is so short. I will overthrow God, but how to prolong my life is the question. And this is very important.”

Suddenly he jumped up, as if an awl had been stuck in the place where he was sitting, and shouted:

Urgent Presidium of the Cheka! Comrade Nadia!

“So the Cheka or the Central Committee?” Nadia Asked.

“What difference does it make?” The Cheka and the Central Committee are one and the same. Only the Cheka looks after the Central Committee, and the Central Committee too often turns up its nose. And you alert all revolutionaries, let them quit their dirty, that is, great things, let them get up their Asses if they are still in bed, in short, wherever they are, let them come to my headquarters, the headquarters of the world revolution.

– What is the world revolution to you? This is the lair and that small gathering of terrorists.

Volodya was so worried that he could not hear anyone, and the letter “R” and some others were missing from his speech apparatus, which was clearly not Marxist, but hostile, capitalist.

– And…and evolution, pollution, and some…first, the Word blow with Tom MA… rksa under the arm.

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